April 2008 - the one where Scorpio and Millie show us all the 'through the night' trick

[Scampmum]

Sorry if someone else has already started one - couldn't find it!

Much better night last night, maybe due to gripe water?

it will be ok peachy could you go with him for support?

blimey vs! thatmust be odd. Am trying to get dh to make contact with mil atm, not sure he will but hey ho. No doubt it'll still be the belief (even amongst my family) that i am stopping him fom making contact!

i can go with dh, will have bas but then don't I always? lol

wow vs that must be odd. i wonder if she has looked for you??

DH is still not speaking to his mum either. She hasnt even bothered asking me, lol, im sooooo better off out of it tbh

I'm booking my hols tonight A week in France in September, i think. Courtesy of my parents as a wedding pressie.

I want to go out but dunno if i can be arsed.

denny 2 words for you.... Davina DVD. Worth a try, as I'm sure you have loads of energy left at the end of the day . Two of her DVDs are only 20 min workouts.

LOL at DS conning you into giving him more buttons!!!

omg. Have car in for service and garage have just called saying it needs £££s worth of work.

There's no way we can do it.

So sorry Ladybee! Bugger bugger. Last thing any of us need when on one income!

Finally spoke to teacher about DD's possible dyspraxia today.
see outcome here

Sorry to hear, VS. But as you say, at least if it is that, you've got a starting point to work from, and it will be good to at least know she's not being messy etc on purpose. Good luck.

Peachy - hoping everything will be ok at the doctors.

Had a good day here. Started with baby massage, then had lunch with two of the girls there, and ended up going to Canary Wharf with someone. Roelof slept most of the time at CW, fed once and then fell asleep again. Going out really is a lot easier compared to a couple of weeks ago.

DH has a cold and is lying on the sofa next to me, pretending to be dying. It irritates me a little, since when I had a cold I felt the same, but continued doing the normal things, feeding, changing, cooking etc etc etc. I know it's not so bad, but just wanted to moan a bit. Sorry.

VS, sorry about DD, as you say though getting a diagnosis will be a starting point and if she is dyspraxic at least you can get some help/guidance to be able to assist her. Paeds is not my field but as far as i am aware the outcome with dypraxic individuals is generally quite good, although it can't be 'cured' as such most can be guided to find management stratagies for their particular needs. Hope you start getting some answers/help soon.

Hello girls! Sorry to hear that VS. Have to be quick as have to edit a competition entry for DH, but wanted to check in and say hi and tell you all about the maternity nurse who [sob] did her last night last night.

It's worked out really well. E is sleeping much better, and is much more settled on the days the routine works so I must say I'm a bit of a convert. Still have to work on fitting it round DD1 and nursery etc. but she is more settled in the day and (apparently - I've been ASLEEP!) settling better at night.

She thinks the prob is wind but has now learnt her cues - wiggly legs is tiredness or needing a poo, top half threshing/wiggling is wind, all-body squirming is tiredness. Feels so good just to have someone tell me that, even if it's not 100% accurate - at least I have something to work on! I was a bit worried I'd feel a failure as a mum for not having been able to work it out myself but... I don't. She's worked out which winding techniques work the best (rubbing, not patting, on shoulder/rubbing sides/sitting up, not patting, and lying down again) so with any luck I will get burps in under one minute tonight and be back to sleep straight after the feed. She also said don't ever put her down without a burp so I guess I'd better persist, even if it takes 45 minutes.

Routine is as follows:

Start day between 7-8 with a feed, no matter what time she has fed previously (e.g. if at 6.50 top up at 7.50ish).

Down to bed (this seems counter-intuitive as e.g. 15 mins ago she seemed awake and perfectly happy but did in fact go down without much protest) around 8, sleep till around 10. Mum expresses fuller boob.

Feed at 10, play/top and tail, then another feed around 11 (prob the next boob). Put down around 12 again. Sleeps until about 2. Mum expresses fuller boob.

Up at 2, again feed, play, top-up again.

Down at 4 till around 5.

At 5 give expressed milk (I haven't done this yet as have been saving all my expressed milk for precious nighttime sleep!) - this is to give boobs a rest and ensure full for good last feed.

6ish bathtime (although not every night, she recommends twice a week, top and tail in absence of bath), 6.30ish feed, 7 bed in a pitch black room.

Dad feeds her at 11 (or whenever, I am recommending he starts an hour before he wants to go to bed, which will be more like 10, in case she takes a while to settle - this may bring the next feed forward a bit I guess). Rest of night she wakes as she requires.

The nights Bella has been here she has fed (after the 11pm one) around 2-3 and around 5-6 - first two nights I did the 2-3 feed and last three just the 5-6 one - yesterday morning she woke me at 6.20 and I'd gone to bed at 10!! yes, that's EIGHT HOURS . Then expressed (don't read this, Scorpio - but remember my boobs were making milk for two feeds that I didn't do) 9oz before 9am.

Yesterday I cocked up the routine as she didn't go down in am until 9, but still woke around 10.15 (I was being too active, prob, took the girls into work and then to DH's work for lunch). Was over-tired and feeding quite poorly all day. Went down at 7 but woke at 9, so I fed her then. Bella fed her at 12 and then she didn't wake until 4.48. I woke up at 5.55, unfortunately, owing to left boob leaking all over bed [nice].

I hope you all wanted this much detail!

Has been totally worth the money - I feel a million times better after a kind of 'booster' of sleep and haven't had to sacrifice DH for it. I am naturally extremely tight so it does hurt handing over that kind of cash but was so happy with her and would definitely recommend her. DH and I are still having some, er, animated discussions (mainly around the topics above - makes me think that Mars/Venus book must be worth reading as there seem such persistent similarities in most relationships!!), but we're generally on better terms and I don't feel like a martyr/psycho all the time - we even had a grown-up discussion where we both got our points across in a measured way on Sunday, then went out for a pint (my first in 18 months ) to celebrate.

It means we're holidaying in the UK (maybe at home ) this year but far better that than have money to go abroad and spend a week in a nice place not speaking to each other!

Really looking forward to meeting some of you tomorrow, wish we could all be there. Maybe someone will invent teleportation today?

Whoops, better get on with the editing...

Oh, and been meaning to say for ages, LOL about the sweetcorn, Elfsmummy. Visions of it passing through a nipple!

VS - it really will be ok, i promise. You will notice some things, as you have, that are 'different' to her peers or even Bobby sometimes, but the SENCO and an Ed Psych can teach her 'exercises' to stop or help her manage the jerkiness, clumsiness, etc. Remember how hard i found it when R was dx? Allow yourself to feel sad or even angry. You got my email. try to get dp to go to a senco appt with you, it may help him understand more too.

Scamp - you sound alive, lol stick with what works for you

Anyway, the pump Ellie gave me is the best.....i got 3oz in about 10 mins today!!! so now i have 9oz, me and dh are off out for a date tonight

[not so cocky now emoticon]

She woke at 8.40, changed nappy and managed to settle, woke again 9.10, 9.20 gave up and offered boob, took it, fell asleep whilst feeding and just went down in moses basket, 5 mins before she's supposed to get up and feed !

God knows what I'm supposed to do now. Maybe write off today since she has her jabs at 1.15 anyway so a) she'll be unsettled from them and b) that doesn't fit with the routine.

Balls!

Scorpio, the other thing I've been meaning to say is that someone on this thread (I think) said to adjust position of nipple - I have found that's a great trick for getting the flow going again.

i just find the electric one a million times better!!

dh is v impressed with it too, lol

good luck at jabs, mimi had a tiny bit of calpol after (2.5 ml) the rotine isn't adaptable?

SCAMPMUM Lex's cues are pretty similar, he has different cries too, so if he is windy up top it's quite a painful cry, more like a scream, with obvious discomfort to being any position other than upright and stretched, tired he nuzzles, makes a sort or 'mehhh mehhhh' cry, and moves his head around a lot, food he opens his mouth loads, then gets frustrated and almost out of breath and poo he pushes his chin into his chest and strains which he finds helps if we hold his legs up for him so he can push against them iyswim.

His routine isn't too different either, he has started sleeping through til about 6am again, has a feed sometime between 6-7 has a feed, goes back down at about 9-10am after a feed, then wakes up about 12-1ish when I get him dressed feed him (I always wake him by one if he tries to sleep on). He is then awake during the school run now, has a feed at 4pm when we get in (long sofa feed, not short pc feed), is fine til about 7:30, gets ready for bed, feeds, stays up til around 9 when I put him up to bed. Sleeps.

Scorpio I know it will be ok
I just feel such a cow, because she excels in everything else (Teacher said she was one of her most able students ever in everything except presentation) I've put so much pressure on her about her writing expecting it to be at the same level as everything else iyswim?
Plus me & DP are always telling her to sit still, stop fiddling, stop touching everything, moaning at her for not tidying her room properly, being so messy the way she eats, always spilling things, the list goes on, and now I know it's probably this (which I tried to convince myself it wasn't) I just feel so goddamn horrid!
Poor girl never answers back so must have been getting herself in a pickle about not being able to do these things that I expect her to be able to and not understanding why she can't do it. I just want to cry

Thanks for the post, Scampmum. It sounds pretty good, I'm going to try and get Roelof in a little bit more of a routine. Nothing major, as he seems to be quite happy, but I wouldn't mind if he just slept a little longer at night, so it's probably worth a try.

I feel bad about moaning about DH and his "cold" yesterday... He just went to the doctor as he kept feeling worse, and the dr seems to think it's not cold or flu, but that he's got some similar symptoms, some kind of infection and obviously feels rubbish. He's now put on specific antibiotics and has just been sent to the hospital for loads of blood tests. Think I'll be extra nice to him all day as I feel so guilty for basically thinking he's just a big baby... Now I am a little worried about him, because the last 2 times he felt really bad he: 1) had started bleeding internally and lost 1/3 of his blood by the time he eventually passed out and went to the doctors (!!!), and 2) had such a hyperactive thyriod that he had to have almost immediate radiation treatment and everyone was shocked (relieved) that it hasn't affected his heart yet!

Sorry to hear about your DH, Sal, Hope he's OK. Don't feel guilty - you weren't to know it wasn't man-flu!

And Scorpio, hope you're feeling a bit better. Sorry you're a bit down.

Scamp - thanks for mammoth post. That's pretty much the routine I've been aiming for, and it more or less works. Good tips on the cues (sorry, that sounds as if I'm talking about snooker!). I am rubbish at wqrking out what A wants, which is why I prefer a routine so I can guess.

We had a 'good night' last night after a couple of shockers. But A doesn't seem to be feeding less frequently at all - she has always and still is feeding every 2 or 3 hours. I never seem able to express as she is always needing it. Any ideas on whether/ when she will start to go longer at night? She went nearly 4 hours on Saturday night, but then was up from 3.00am for nearly three hours...
My gorgeous has dd1 slept through every night since she was 5 weeks. How can they be so different?

VS I just looked dyspraxia up, I understand why you feel upset for having pointed out behaviours that you weren't pleased with, that might actually be manifestations of the condition, and that she might have been struggling to control herself, but better to acknowledge it now and get support for her than continue with everyone getting more & more frustrated.

Poor DH Sal! I hope it's nothing so serious this time.

I'm feeling a bit down today, yesterday was rubbish. Started with a mission to get the car to the garage before 9, and then walking back to house to inhale some food before going up to the local nursery/sure start centre to go to my first singing babies session in an attempt to meet some local mums & eventually have a source of contacts for childminding recommendations etc (nursery doesn't take under 2s). That all went fine but it meant that B's feeding times went a bit haywire, he wouldn't latch on properly and I felt a complete moo, especially when one of the ladies after came up and recommended the breastfeeding support session held at another centre. I'm sure she was just being friendly to another BFer (all the others were using bottles), but I was feeling a bit crap about the difficulties we'd just had so felt like a criticism IYSWIM.

From the afternoon on it all turned to custard - he kept falling asleep at the breast, winding wasn't working v well, he'd wake up suddenly from mid-sleep yelling like he was being murdered. He'd squirm while I was holding him but scream when I put him down, bounce on and off the breast..I finally managed to calm him around 7 after a bath, massage, dosing with infacol, and feed and he went to sleep while I was winding him on his tum. He ended up sleeping face down over a cushion on me & then DP until 10:30 when he stirred enough for me to feed him again and put him to bed in his basket, he ended sleeping until 6:45 this morning. He'd actually woken at 3 and was windmilling his arms & grunting/whimpering, so I'd tucked him back in but fully expected him to wake up for a feed around 4. I ended up waking before him, both breasts leaking & one engorged. Added to that the car trouble and my cold-thing is getting worse so I feel quite run down.

I was hoping today would be better - he woke up so happy and refreshed, fed well, gave fab burps, stayed awake for a while then had his early nap, but he woke up howling from the first nap, only managed 45 mins of his lunchtime nap before waking screaming and is now dozing at my boob. I feel so mean not wanting him to sleep while nursing, he looks so relaxed after all the tension & discomfort but I know that it's the path to even more unhappiness.

He IS quite snuffly, and has been doing quite a lot of rubbing his nose against me. I wonder if he's suffering the same thing as me?
But why would that make him suddenly windy again?
and what is going on with his feeding, he's either clamping down or forgetting to shut his mouth altogether.

LadyBee, do go along to the surestart breastfeeding group, I go to our local one every week and it's brilliant. Lots of boobs out, we all have a good chat and laugh, and the bf ladies make their way round chatting to us all about bf and other baby related stuff.

For the 4 nights before last night he slept roughly 8-3 then til 6:30, or 10- 5 then til 8ish. Last night he went down at 9, slept til 4:20. I stuch his dummy in hoping for another 5 mins and he woke up hungry but nit crying at 6!! Woohoo!!

Sorry I can't do a longer post but I have a busy boy on his play mat and I want to watch him!

(When he has a bath and he's had water poured over his head to rinse the shampoo off, he looks like ralph wiggum from the simpsons. See!

hi all

Sal hope your dh is ok, don't feel guilty about thinking it was man flu!

ladybee sorry about your rubbish couple of days. Sorry helpful advice! Jasmine had a bad three or four days that had me tearing my hair out but seems better now, I wonder if some days they are just in a bad mood? Can I ask here did you find your baby singing group, I really want to get onto stuff like that and not sure where to start. Want to meet some more mums, partly cos I am such tedious company at the mo for my childfree friends!!

Thanks, you two. He's (DH that is) sleeping in the room ever since he came back from hospital. I'm planning to leave him there until he wakes up himself. I feel really guilty, as he's been brilliant helping with the early morning (approx 5am) feeding etc while working full out during the day - maybe his poor body just can't take it anymore. Men aren't as tough as us women, you know?

Sagitta, R's also been feeding constantly today. I wonder if it is the heat by any chance. I've just given him some extra water, but he's pulling the funniest faces. Definitely not his tipple of choice!

Ladybee, hope you get chance for a nap today.

Oh yes - my period started again as well. Damn damn damn damn. Almost tempted to get pregnant again immediately to have 9 months without!

Hello all,

Scamp you sound so much better. Would have been worth twice the money!

I was a routine queen with DD1 (although not until about 4 months) but so far haven't done anything much with Elena. During the day we just go with the flow.

I was putting her to bed at about 8.30-9.30 but she was getting really strung out and unhappy during the early evening and was clearly overtired so at the weekend statred putting her to bed before DD1 so she's in her nursery by 6.30. So far she's been pretty good and has been asleep by 7 every night. I'm then lifting her into our room when we go to bed and giving her another feed (usually around 10)

The thing is when she was going to bed at 8.30 - 9 ish she was sleeping til between 2-3 (once even 4) before her next feed, then usually again between 5-7 depending on when she last fed. Having given her an extra feed at 10 for the past 3 nights she still wakes up at these time

So can't decide if I should keep the 10 pm feed or not or just let her sleep on and see what time she wakes. Think I'll give it a week of doing it this waas nad then re-assess.

It is lovely to have my evening back though. Last night went out on a bike ride - beautiful. Fully intend to go swimming one night this week too. (We're off to Corfu in just over 4 weeks - must get in shape)

Niceychops I did sing and sign with DD1 although it was for 6 months and over. Most of these things seem to run in terms so you could sign up for September (I doubt you'll find anything like that over the summer holls)

website here not sure exactly where you're based but hopefully they'll have a class near you. Even if you don't start til Sept its worth putting your LOs name down as in some areas there can be a waiting list!!

She loved it and still signs on occasion now just for fun.

Sorry just realised you said singing not signing!

No problem Elfsmummy and thanks for link! Interested in anything really, to give J something more interesting than looking at my face all day. Also I think I need to get out more - disproportionately excited about Tesco Delivery (they bring you groceries right to your door!) [old before my time emoticon]