April 2008 - the one where Scorpio and Millie show us all the 'through the night' trick

[Scampmum]

Sorry if someone else has already started one - couldn't find it!

Much better night last night, maybe due to gripe water?

ahh bless him! Is he ok with it? Mimi is dribbling tons, has to wear a bib all the time or her clothes get soaked.

Thanks

couple half doses of calpol over past few days no bother

he's such an easy baby

i think 3rd and 4ths must be. Mimi has just slotted in...

oh lord, just got done with a four and half hour 'bedtime', counting from bath. OH is out for work dinner & drinks so it'll be toasted sandwich for dinner I think. Am knackered. Been feeding, rocking, burping, shushing for hours.
Oh no...disturbing 'not asleep' sounds coming through the monitor. Please go back to sleep babybee, pretty please

Ben is also laughing (and flirting with strange women) but no teeth yet.

He's also doing this strange thing - bearing in mind he really hardly ever cries, often during either his lunch or afternoon nap he will suddenly go from sound asleep to huge wailing - no build up, often he stays asleep while he's crying out. Today he did it when he had fallen asleep while feeding, so I was able to see what happened when he does it. The only thing I noticed was I think he'd peed, but he doesn't cry when peeing when he's awake so I don't know whether that would do it. I'm pretty sure he wasn't dreaming when it happened either, so I'm stumped. Does anyone else's baby do this? It's so disturbing hearing him go to such a big, hard cry without any build up or reason that I can see. Fortunately he calms down reasonably quickly, but if there's something I could do to prevent it happening I'd like to hear it

Ladybee, hope Ben's still sleeping solidly as I'm typing this! Did you go to Mamma Mia in the end or enjoyed the weather outside?

Hope everyone had a lovely day.

I am so tired and is going to go to bed right now. Had the first really girly night out (ok, it was with my neighbour, so "out" involved 20m down the hill, but still) last night, and had a mild hangover this morning... DH was brilliant in doing all the night feeds (pre-arranged), so at least I could sleep, but still - I think I'll stay on soft drinks next time! Oh, and as DH was showering this morning, the gas ran out, and as he was late already I had to run down to the shop to add gas so than my fil could shower when he got up! Oh, how I felt that the timing suck.

Apparently we're going to the Bond exhibition tomorrow morning . Like the movies, but not sure about this...

IME bfing actually easier after teeth than the bit before where they are gumming you into submission. When they only have bottom teeth they can't actually bite you if they are latched on properly (as their tongue will be in the way) so you need to watch out for the latch loosening and take them off.

Oh dear me and DP have just had THE MOTHER of all rows. I went to doc yesterday cos have been getting dizzy spells for a few weeks - nothing wrong doc just said basically you're exhausted and need more help. At which point I burst into tears and said waaaaa! I'm so tired and DP does nothing! Or words to that effect.

Anyway, I go home and tell DP doc says I need more of a hand and he says um yes, and I still do everything yesterday.

So this evening I say, can you put her to bed please and he says OK, but forgets. So I ask again at her bedtime and he acts like is an imposition (he has NEVER put her to bed)but does it. When he comes down I draw up list of chores etc - he will not discuss and I go ape, start yelling at him that he is selfish and inconsiderate and that he is not taking responsibility for his child and that would be easier being a single parent cos then I would only have Molly to look after and not him and DSD too....it went on. I was howling like a banshee and quite horrible. But was true, if VERY badly put. So he says in a sniffy way he will do everything blah blah and now he is not talking to me.

Thank goodness Molly is so lovely. She is chuckling now too and it is wonderful. I was wondering about teething too as she's dribbling massively but thought was too early for that?

The saliva glands click in at round this point, Ellie, and Molly will soon start having her hands in her mouth all the time. You can think of it as a sort of early teething, but it doesn't mean there will be any teeth for several months yet.

That's a very common sort of row to have. I think you need to come back to trying to discuss it calmly when it's blown over a bit. If it doesn't get sorted now then it will get worse and he will do less and less and then when she's a year old and you're back at work you'll still be doing everything because "she just won't settle for me" or "I don't know what to do".

My kittycat had her babies and they are all fine

We went to look at a new car yesterday (DP has a BMW 330 sport, which is only two doors, plus his company car, but as he starts his police training in two weeks there will be no company car and the BMW isn't big enough for 3 kids seats) anyway, decided against the new car (really terrible trade-in part-x price, thanks credit crunch) and came home to no cat.
Went to bed last night, still no cat, woke up this morning, I was panicking as DP's mum's cat got run over last week
There is a big garden adjoined to our house which is basically wild, with about three sheds so half hour ago I decided to go on a search, got to one shed, Chi was meowing, she was in this shed, under a rabbit hutch nesting in hay with 4 perfectly fine kittens

They are gorgeous!

Ahhh more kittens - glad they are okay VS. So what are you going to do about a car now? Maybe if you sell privately you will get more money for it?

PAL - good to know that - DD has her hand living in her mouth at the mo! And dribbles big time too - sort of thought it might be teething - but then also thought - she is only 2 months old!! How can teeth be coming through?!! Glad to hear I have a bit longer. A friend of mine's DD has such bad nappy rash from teething that her rash is bleeding I dread all that. What is the best nappy rash cream ladies?

Sorry to hear about your row Ellie. I hope he does pull thumb out of bum now and help you a bit more. It is not good you are having dizzy spells from tiredness - I hope your DP can see that!

I have no real news. Took Gigi to have some pro photos done as it was on special offer. Anyway - went to view them the other day = and OMW! They are so gorgeous! I want them all! I know my DD is beautiful (especially to her mommy!) but seeing these pics made me really realise that she is a beauty! (VERY proud mommy emoticon) I now have the very hard task of deciding which one (as one is all I can afford ) to have. My b/day is coming up so am thinking of asking for pics of my baby!

We have also joined a couple of mom and baby groups - but typical my luck just as soon as I join them, they close for the summer hols! I now have to wait for Sept for them to start up again! Oh and BTW - what's happening with the meet up next week?

Well the reason we needed a new car was partly due to school run and partly for DP to drive to his training which is an 80mile round trip, he didn't want to add mileage on his car, so we've decided to keep the BMW and buy a cheapo car for about a grand that he can rack up the mileage on and I can learn to drive with plus move back to where we used to live. We live in a village outside the town atm which is costing us £160 in bus fares for me to get DD per month, and now DS is starting nursery it will add about £40 a month on top of that, so we're going to put that £200 a month onto the rent instead which will mean we can afford a 3 bed place on our old estate and we'll be within walking distance of the school again so no school run needed.

VS - sounds like a good plan. Chi had her kittys outside - Jo-jo did too, weird. What colours are they?? I miss ours

Ellie - give him a kick up the bum Seriously, though - did dsd mum used to do everything? So he thinks mums have to do it all? Or is he well at the mo? It isa normal problem though. Sometimes i have to kick dh up the bum too.

Hi everyone else.

Me and DH went out last night, i wore my new dress and got my hair done y'day and i felt really normal and pretty again. Everyone commented on my dress

Me & DH keep having accidents....oops. Shall i wait 4 weeks for a period? and strap a bloody condom on him?!? permanently i mean. Well we both know what we are doing...

There is a grey stripy tabby type, one exactly the same but brown, a black one with a tortoiseshell kind of nose and a darker(more black) tabby.
Two boys, two girls.

ahh bless. Jo's were 3 boys and one girl in the end.

Are dc really excited? mine adored them!

eah, I'm not allowing them near her yet though.
Dd has named the black one Jet and DS1 has named the boy tabby Dave.
We've named one of the other tabby's (the girl) Naboo, and we need a name for the darker tabby.

ooh VS I want a kitty...I wonder if DP would agree...grey tabby sounds lovely. Of course getting kitten from thee to me might not be so easy.

George.

How about Cola?

I think DP and I are going to have to have A Talk soon M2BR or we'll be joining the blazing row squad soon. I keep finding mself feeling so damned full of seething resentment towards him - for not having his life turned upside down, for not acknowledging the accumulated sleep debt of three months interrupted sleep (more actully, had shit sleep in last months of pg), for not buying me anything to say thankyou for 9 months of selfdenial & discomfort, 20 hrs of hell and 6 weeks of selfdoubt..shallow maybe, but I was hoping for something sparkly and he knew that. I get unreasonably pissed off when he pushes the pram but leaves me to lug the groceries (he gets to look like the caring dad but it's not actually that helpful to me), and it drives me crazy that he is more interested in finding out about buddhism or downloading music than finding out about babies so that we can have some sort of discussion about how/what we should be doing - he leaves me to become the baby-expert in the house, but then undermines that by never asking my advice or consulting me about the day-to-day stuff or DS's schedule.
Just once, I would like to see him look something up about DS on the internet, or talk to me about immunisations, or even think ahead and [gasp] buy something practical but boring that we'll need soon like sheets for the big cot, more babywipes or a bucket ffs.

ahhh...I really do need to talk to him and say these things to him rather than you ladies don't i

Feel slightly better for getting that down though, and it has helped clarify a bit of what I'm feeling instead of just that general pissed off feeling that's been swilling around my head most of the day.

Sorry for rant tho. Should have prefaced with a health warning.

You defo need to talk to him LadyBee or things will boil over. I am a 'talker' - can't keep anything in so hence my DH always knows what's on my mind - and I def think it helps. And I think it is cos of that, he is a brill DH and Dad! Me in his ear the whole time!! lol

another vote for talking here

tell him what he can do - they often need it spelling out.

new hair on profile now but i have no makeup on

Looking good Scorpio! I'm off to the hairdresser on Sat - really want a new hairstyle but just have no idea what to go for. I have long layered blonde hair that seems to always be in a ponytail nowdays. I would really like something different.

Your hair looks fab scorpio. I need a new 'do'. Think might grow it actually, had it all cut off and feel rather frumpy.

Ladybee - talk to him. I didn't and the row was Humungous. Did clear the air though eventually. He didn't talk to me til about 11 o clock the next day mind, and then only after I shouted at him again about it - me - 'YOU'RE SO PETTY NOT TALKING TO ME! STOP BEING SUCH A MAN AND SIT DOWN AND DISCUSS IT!'
Didn't exactly help at time but I felt better hee hee.

At first he went all burning martyr and said he would do EVERYTHING for the next 12 weeks to make up for his 'doing nothing' and then split 50/50. Then I said don't be ridiculous am not asking for that just a fairer divide. So we have come to a sensible arrangement and are now happy again

I don't think I have EVER been that angry with him. 'Seething resentment' describes it exactly ladybee - I think my yelling had been coming on for weeks. Might try not to let it get like that again

Scorpio - the mad thing is he did pretty much everything for DSD - he looked after her in day and worked evenings and weekends, and his wife didn't wake up easily so he ended up doing all the night feeds. So not sure why he has got into a groove of doing bugger all now. Is all change though....

Awwww to VS's kittens. I miss my cats. I had to leave them with my ex-h when I left him and I think it hurt more than leaving him!

I want to come to a meet up [stamps foot petulantly]

I will, I will...just couldn't bring myself to do it yesterday because the evening was so nice and we'd bought chocolate brownies and raspberries and I knew if we ended up have a difficult conversation then there was no way I'd get the chocolatey treat made for me

I'll try tonight though. I feel quite calm about it, don't want to be hurtful to him but I do think he needs to know how I feel and what I'd like to change.

So..a couple of questions:

1. Should I be waking DS around 10:30-ish to feed him? At the moment I haven't been, because he's so sound asleep and I can't bring myself to break that after getting him to sleep 8:30-ish. It means he wakes around 2 mostly, and then again at 5:30/6:30. But the times when I have fed him around 11, he'll go to about 5. I'm just trying to work out what would need to happen for him to eventually sleep the whole night - if I don't wake him for the 10:30/11 feed, will he start extending his sleep in that first section? That would mean I'll still have months of waking at 2, 3, 4, 5, etc wouldn't it?

But if I DID start waking him, he might extend that so that he was waking at 6, 7 - and then maybe I could bring the late feed forward a bit so that eventually he didn't need it?

2 What sort of naps do toddlers take? Would they have one around 4? Because I'm thinking of stopping trying to put DS down for that one. He missed it yesterday and it was much easier to get him to sleep in the evening, so now i wonder whether he doesn't always need it? But if an active toddler does, would I be making a mistake to get out of the habit of an afternoon rest?

Ladybee, go with what works 4 u both 4 daytime naps what they do now will be completely diff to toddler routine. My DS is nearly 23 months he was doing 12-2 sleep but is showing more and more signs of not needing so much.

The 10/11pm sleep in theory should help them go through the night and your right once they are going through to 6.30/7ish you could start bringing it forward. Just depends on whether he will take the feed then, DD2 wouldn't have a bar of it. Luckily she's found her thumb and settles herself back to sleep in the night now so goes 12hours most nights.