March 2007: Babies no longer: the road to Toddlerdom

[MrLSG]

MrsLSG suggested it, so her it is...

I've observed that calling Toby a baby isn't really accurate anymore, he (as one of the younger March babies - actually being born in April) is now toddlering (or is that staggering?), hence the title of the thread.

Sorry if Dad's aren't allowed around here: But Toby just loved joining in garden football with his big brother and dad earlier tonight.

Callie that sounds like an idealic day. I hope you got that lie-in too!

Hopefully Jordi will move to the next stage soon. There's a baby at the school who is about three months older than Hasan and he is still bum shuffling. And one of the other mums says all her three boys were nearly 2 before they walked. Glad Jordi is in the system now for a bit of assistance.

Sleepless that all sounds mad. lol at Waynetta Slob. Think I'm there already

thanks SSU, oops Rosy.

I'll join the Waynetta Slob gang. In fact, I think I probably should be the president of it. House once again like bomb site, and Breton people comng for exchange a week on Tuesday. Oh dear, I foresee lots of last minute tidying up again...

hi all, rosy , i hope you find out what your ds is allergic to= are you going to do what your dh wants?
diva, i liked your name.
lots of my friends are grumbling about their dp/dh think there is something in the air? and we keep arguing- well , i shout alot anyway. mil issues mostly. just thinking about her makes my blood pressure go up. dh even had a go at me for not having a "proper" mop. like his moms. what?

sponge-is there any reason why your dh cant buy a mop?

may i ask,do you ever feel guilty for getting pissed off with him when technically you should still be in the honeymoon period?

i wish i could shout.im too scared dh will just walk out if i do though.

I'm starting to wonder about DD's hearing. As I've mentioned she still doesn't talk. She said bird once but regularly only says up-up-up and mum-mum-mum and dat.

When I pick her up from nursery, if her back is to me when I walk in I can stand behind her and call her and she never realises I'm there until I tap her on the shoulder.

Her generic animal noise is a sort of Maa with a wide-open mouth. We've often said she seems to think the open mouth is the main thing, rather than the noise.. actually the more I type the more concerned I am..

She loves music and is always dancing so she clearly can hear but perhaps she has a problem with a range of sounds/ voices? How can I get this checked? She passed her newborn checks but hasn't been checked since.

All the toddlers we know in RL have a good range of words by now.

catweazel Ronnie is exactly the same and i'm not in the least worried.

Ds1 didn't speak until he was three!
Ds2 and dd1 and dd2 spoke words before their first birthdays. Dd3 who is 2 1/2 says a few simple sentences like 'bugger off' 'go away'( not really!!) but has been slow to speak.

I guess you could get her hearing checked but I bet all is fine. I think we as mums have a tendency to compare how our children are doing with others ESPECIALLY on a site like this when people are talking about their kids all the time, in some ways it's a nightmare.

You will always get the mother who reckons her 1 year old is a genius , can recite poetry and play a game of tennis with great confidence (yeah right!)!

The range of developmental norm is huge.

I think Finn can play tennis but Piffles kiddies are not your average I think.

Catweazle my other kids have been very early talkers but not Hasan. He says mama and meow at the cat and bye, and that's about it. But it might be good to get her hearing tested just to make sure.

Sponge nope I am not doing what my dh wants, he can take a flying jump. (I don't have to worry about him walking out like Diva because he was never here.) I'm not going to my friends party either...I am not fit for a party. I'm really hoping dh will come here today and take some parental responsibility.

I lost my temper with dd yesterday -she was being a brat but I screamed at herwhich is really a bad sign because I'm usually mrs soft and patient (too soft I guess)and I am raging with myself for losing control.

I'm really in a stinking mood and I need to meditate and regroup....

rosy-keep an eye on your mood.for me,screaming at the kids is a sign im becoming ill again(i do shout at them sometimes but i am talking about out of control screaming).

catwazle-i would go and see your gp about your concerns if i were you.my ds1 had delayed speech and he had hearing tests etc but there was nothing wrong with his hearing(he was just too lazy to talk properly-still is!),so when ds2 had the same problems i assumed it was cos i'd let him have a dummy too long and never bothered untill the nursery reffered him for speech therapy.i was so angry with myself when i found out hedid have hearing problems.

Catweazle - your GPshould be able to refer your DD for some hearing tests - my DD had some when she was 3 'cos I was concerned about her speach.

If it any comfort, Chubba has no speach either. He says, "Mum, Mum, Mum" when he wants me and I swaer that whn DH came home the other night, Chuba said "Hello Dad", but generally he has no speach. His hearing is fine an he is bright as a button, so I'm not bovvered.

DD talked but was completely incomprehensible until she was about 4 - the hearing test guy told me that smal children's speach development is such a huge spectrum it svery difficult to "measure" it until they are about 4 - as many normal (i.e. not speach delayed or hearing impaired) kids just don't talk until 3.5 anyway....

I had a right old ding dong with a mother of one of the bullies that set upon ds1 last weekend.
You could tell she was one of those really domineering middle class women who is used to getting her own way--enough about me---- anyway, she hadn't encountered a very angry kittywise who was about to scratch her eyes out. I told her if her son ever bothered mine again there would be trouble.
"oh yes?" she snarls" " what are you going to do?"
"phone the police" I say.

She accuses me of bullying her son and is so apoplectic with rage that she storms off leaving my dp and her dh to try and have a reasoned conversation.

I'll kill the bitch.

kitty-are you ok now?is she one of those 'my little cherub wouldnt hurt a fly and if s/he has it was because they started it' type bitches mothers?

i have only just ast down for the evening and once again im listening to geeks-r-us over on the male side.Elsie woke up SCREAMING before.ive got too many things to think about and im worried about money and i wish i was a fucking man so i could sit there and not give a shit

diva, his and hers mops!! nah... and no, i don;t feel guilty for shouting at him unless i am wrong. as for worrying he will walk out.. he did once say he would leave if he was so crap and i shouted bugger off then tbh honest i prefer everything out and talked about than festering, even if i don;t like being wrong- what will happen when i can't blame lack of sleep?
catweazle, if was me would prob have a check up, but agree with kitty that dev range huge and there are lots of g and t mums hogging the creative tables at baby group.

IKWYM about men not worrying Diva

Anything you can talk about here - it might help to "get it out" rather than having it rattling round your head?

Kitty - what a woman!!! Well done

im more angry at myself than anyone really.i will get annoyed about something but by the time ive actually decided to say something to dh ive had the whole conversation in my head anyway so there seems little point(for example,any comments about helping tidy up etc will be twisted into the fact the kids dont tidy up after themselves,anything he does do isnt upto my standards etc etc).

i have developed huge issues with confrontation for some reason,and if its got the point where its easier to put up and shut up..well,i dont want to be in that situation

Diva well at least you are avoiding arguements.

I do the opposite - nag first, then get into a row, then wish I had counted to 10 first.

Sometimes its better to argue in your head than pick fights?

Its frustrating but you may be wise in doing what you do.

If there is "stuff" building up which you need to talk about, why not make a mental list and then say you need to have a chat? At least then its ordered and you can control the situation as you talk.

good on you Kitty... I hope that she got a huge fright. Her child's intimidating behaviour is probably reflective of his mothers!!

Catsweaze... I have had the same thought because Kate is just the same. It's so hard not to worry and compare children. Diva... it must be a relief once your ds's hearing was picked up.

I am just like you with confrontation Diva... I put up this bravado of not caring but it's turmoil inside. I find writing things down helps me to get things out and, sometimes, helps to clarify things. I don't think that it is a good idea not to say things to your dh just to keep the peace... he should know how he can help things or even come to some compromise (we have the same issues with "standards" here too - hubs does it... and I go back and do it my way )

Yep I'm all for avoiding conflict too.

I'm cool, calm and collected again now. Back to endlessly patient mum again...which is necessary because dd is a handfull and a challenge. My boys are a piece of cake compared to her...even Hasan sits and eats his dinner more sensibly than dd who does somersaults in her chair, climbs on the table, spills something every meal time...etc etc (chimpanzees tea party here at meal times)

I've done a tiny bit of writing and painting today which makes me feel human again.

I've got arthritussy stiff joints and achey muscles. And numbness and pins and needles aswell as fatigue, cough, sore throat...any ideas? I'll have to go and annoy the dr this week get checked out. I'm under par definately. (moan, moan, moan...)

Hasan has broken one of his front teeth somehow.

Dead impressed at your skills ladies. I just constantly bitch and nitpick. Then a few hormonally induced blind rages 1-3x a month
My school report would be
This...
Work on compromise,kindness,sharing,alcohol reducing...

All this joking about my clever kids
I really do wonder how they got there tbh
I'm not worthy!!!
Dds report is incredible (I underestimated her achievements and am ashamed)
Ds1 is amazing

And me..
Sat in corner screeching
Honestly
I say this in semi jokey manner btw
It may not be evident by posting style
But summed up as this
Reality is somewhere I used to live
I lived next door to sanity when there
And sobriety was my lodger, back there

lol Piffle

Parenting is a huge challenge! I see myself as the children's facilitator

Kitty I finished reading 'destiny of souls' and thought it was very interesting. It certainly makes me focus and want to stop faffing about and concentrate on my purpose a bit more (and work out my purpose perhaps)

But as ever I'm frustrated by my physical limitations. I used to think I could do anything but now I constantly feel at the mercy of my hormones/health/situation/ and weaknesses.

Wish I could get my marriage on track for a start!...it is a bit of a mess -dh is just totally disconnected . sigh.

Ah yes Rosy, the big question!!

You must be exhausted having to look after 4 kids on your own pretty much all of the time, it's no bloody wonder you're at a low ebb misses
I wish there was something I could say that would make things better for you.

Is there a chance you could get someone to look after the dc's on a regular basis so that you could get a chance to explore your arty side? It's pretty crushing when you need to create but can't.

anybody know anything about 'the other side' and could help me here?

rosy-maybe you need to be an art therapist,then we can get together and open a therapy centre

i saw the psychiatric nurse yesterday and she actually listened to me.the gp contacted her as they have to go through her(as my keyworker)to refer me to the consultant.

Kitty I don't look after them, I mainly ignore them In the blink of an eye they will all be at school, then I'll have no excuse and I'll just have to create masterpieces

Diva, I have contemplated art therapy but then I talk myself out of it...maybe I should think about it again though....
Brilliant that you finally feel you are being listened to.

ah yes I've been letting Finn get on with his life, exploring outside willy nilly. As per rosy, ignoring until he screeches.
Finn has discovered ride on toys and has thus also discovered how to fall off them,not realising they are not intended to be skateboards
His face sports all manner of evidence from these falls.

Piffle Ronnie is now scooting up and down all the big kids' climbing equipment and experimenting with different ways to come down slides that propel him at frightening speeds.
All I can think of is; "shit I can't face another round of broken limb bollocks at the hospital"

gosh you ladies can chat! i dont switch on for a day and i have heaps to catch up on!
very pissed off at the mo but darent put on AIBU thread incase i am. what do you think? bit long winded so excuse typos. when i went to my parents as youi know it is always highly stressful for me. anyway needless to say my mums mum is jsut as bad as my mum! anyway last year becasue my sis wrote her a letter that year she got £100 for xmas and me and my bro got nothing. it is the principle that bugs me that we have to earn her love (which is rewarded by money it appears) and the fact that it is like she is playing us off each other so i am under the feeling that i dont want her money. anyway she told me taht she had been saving a pound a week for Hayden since he was born so had £52 t ogive me when i went up, this is for Hayden which would either go into an account i have yet to open for keep it for when he needs clothes/books whatever. not for me ever. anyway apparantly because i was such a (in her worsd) ''miserable bitch' she felt i should nto have the money. which was not for me anyway! so pissed off. i was nice to her the first time i saw her but i could sense the way she took things i gave to Haydne to play with off him etc that she disagrees with the way i raise my son and the fact that all she does is critiscise and slag off every aspect of life etc. the second time i saw her i was on my way up to bed as was tired (thats 3rd trimester for you!) and perhaps i was not in the most entertaining of moods but still....
i jsut feel the pair of them (her and my mum) are so negative and dont realy want my gran in our life is she feels i have to roll over and getthe red carpet out for her....#now i do sound bitchy but it really annoyed me that jsut becaue in her eyes i am rude etc Hayden is being punished.
am i being unreasonable? my dad told me this last night.
i guess i cant help but not forget the way my mum was and still is with me yet apparantly it is all in my head!