Sept '07... I'm forever blowing raspberries and my cheeks ache from smiling so much....

[PurpleLostPrincess]

Here we go! (or should I say here wii go!?). I'll try doing a link too...

Incidentally, I had a dream last night that Cerys suddenly learnt how to blow proper raspberries! Don't know where it came from but it could be that she has been trying since she was about 4 weeks old and did it entirely by accident yesterday!

PLP xxx

I think I'm going to be in trouble no matter what I say/do

Will I make him feel bad though?

Then you may as well tell him exactly how you feel, you never know he may surprise you.

Alex is awake so i'm going to have to leave you - hope you feel better and dp apologises and you win the lottery! Goodnight xx

Who cares if you make him feel bad, that's what he has done to you tonight, he started it.

night night chatty.

I've just realised the time, and I need to get Niamh to bed.##

I've STILL not had my dinner , tut tut

I do feel v irresponsible right now. I'm SO SO careful normally and he know that

I was only taking 5 minutes to have a giggle with DH2 in his bedroom whilst saying goodnight to him

At least you sound as if you have calmed down a bit. Go and take your daughter to bed, have something to eat if you can face it (prob not though eh then go and calmly talk to him and tell him how you feel. Do you need any more pep talk or shall I leave you to it now?

How can you feel irresponsible, she was in a car seat in the house, nothing could have happened to her in the 5 mins you were playing with your other child. Please don't place any blame on yourself. Goodness me if that is your worst crime against your children I should be locked up

[GRIN]

Right, I'm off to bed. Hopefully all will be brighter for you in the morning xxxxxx

Will let you know. I'll prob be all in the morning! But this is ALWAYS on my mind and I keep schtum/.

www.northants.police.uk/default.asp?action=article&ID=13778

www.thebestof.co.uk/bra ckley/news/24533

www.banburyguardian.co.uk/news/Hunt-for-driver-linked-to.1862158.jp

ht tp://www.northants.police.uk/default.asp?action=article&ID=13778

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/engla nd/northamptonshire/6115158.stm

www.thebestof.co.uk/brackley/news/24533

look at all this lot, felt a sudden compulsion to link the stuff about his accident. Don;t quite know what it'll achieve, but it's making me feel better, almost like i am having a cathartic moment

will shut up now and be probably v embarrassed, will post again soon.

sorry and THANK YOU mrsfish and chatty, REALLY REALLY appreciate it.

Awwwwwww, Hopey!!!! (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

First of all, don't be embarassed, you're human and the whole point of this thread is for us to go through the ups and downs together and to be there for each other. You've been such a rock to me and I'm sure many others. (Funnily enough, I'm just watching Superman Returns with DS and was thinking of you so I thought I'd see if there were any new posts on here! Sorry I wasn't here earlier...)

You're bound to feel angry with dh for what has happened and it has to come out at some point. You're such a caring and loving person and you've probably been keeping it buried for all this time (unknowingly). I would imagine that your first reaction at the time was anger towards that bmw driver and then towards keeping the family together. The last thing on your mind has been 'I told you so' but at the same time, it could be that it needs to be said in order to move on and this is the time. I do hope you've managed to sit down and have a talk. DH and I have had some of our most deepest talks late at night and as a result of some sharp words to each other. I've never told anybody on mn this but when we found out I was pg with Cerys, our marriage was on the rocks bigtime. We spend each day battling through the daily stuff and often the important stuff doesn't get talked about. Then out of the blue, it all bubbles up and explodes from what seems the silliest of triggers. In order for the bubbles to settle, we sit and talk for hours on end and explain how we're feeling about stuff. I soo soo hope you get to explain to him how you feel. You both obviously love each other very much. I remember you talking about the possibility of you suffering from post traumatic stress from when the accident happened - maybe this is part of coming to the end of it or at least getting through it? You are both living through the consequences of the accident and he has to accept how you feel and also accept some responsibility somewhere along the line. Then you can move on from it.

Look at me, I've rambled on, sorry! I just wnanted to say how loved you are on here and I'm sure in rl too. You're a great person and don't you forget it!

(((((((HUGS FOR HOPEY)))))))
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Forgot to say, hope you don't get too much of a hangover lol!

I was going to text you but realised its really late now. Hope all is OK?

xxxxxxxxxxx

Morning Hopey, hope you got some stuff sorted out

Morning

God I've just read through last nights rantings. Feel v flat today. When I eventually got Niamh into bed, DH was fast asleep so I'm afraid I slept in the spare room, first time that's happened in YEARS. He's gone out for a 10 mile run now, so'll be gone for a couple of hours. He came into the kitchen earlier and asked if I was ok, I just said I was on a bit of a 'downer' about our whole situation. He asked me what situation, I just said his arm, him being grumpy these past few days and that I wish he'd never got on that bike, but I did say to him that it wasn't his fault. I also said that I was cross with myself for not strapping Niamh in, she wriggles herself into a funny position and it was difficult for her to breathe comfortably. Prob was she was peacefully asleep when I went upstairs to say goodnight to DS2 and I didn't anticipate her waking.

PLP, thank you for your post. I think you're right, subconsciously there is an element of I told you so, not that I would EVER say it out loud, but I was always living in fear that he would get knocked off, yet despite my fears he still felt the need to go for a ride whenever the weather was good. I understand that men sometimes need these things, he works really hard and supports us all financially, how could I begrudge him his pleasures. His latest thing is the London Marathon. He ran the Edinburgh marathon the day before my 30th birthday. I wanted to go to New York or Paris, but he booked the marathon then realised the date. He had been rejected 4 times from the London marathon so I gave him my blessing even though inside I was NOT happy! The build up to the marathon was crap, he took it v seriously and was quite hard to live with, whenever he wasn't training, he was knackered and grumpy. He ran it in just over 3 and a half hours. He did to be fair try and make an effort on my birthday, but he was absolutely knackered. You all know what happened last yr on my birthday, he was away!

Well he blooming better make up for it this yr, it's also our 10th wedding anniversary in September!

It's difficult to moan at him about the training he;s putting in for the London marathon because it, again, is connected to the accident. After 5 rejections he FINALLY was offered a place and received the news the day before the accident!!, so obviously had to delay it for a yr. My friends have all seen him out and about running and they've gone out of their way to comment on how amazing he is, and what an inspiration he is.

I am blessed that Niamh came as a result of the accident, if it weren't for him being knocked off we would have NEVER had another baby. I think that thought keeps me from feeling overly resentful.

As I mentioned last night, the paralysis to his arm affects us in other departments, and I guess I feel angry about that.

It's so hard to speak to him about it because what can he do? Also ultimately will it make him feel despondent about his recovery and the effort he puts into physio, that's the LAST thing I'd want to happen.

Niamh's woken up so I better go, I try and get back on later.

Thank you for listening my friends

PLP, sorry, I wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for your kind words, it means so much to me

x x x x x

Hopey: I wouldn't be embarrassed about it hun, some men are just really shortsighted when it comes to us (yes that's right, we just sit on our fat arses and do bum all all day don't we, but when they come home and just sit on their fat arses we're to say nothing and get on with cooking/cleaning/getting children sorted for bed etc)
That's not a rant, that's the truth
So, (sorry I don't know the whole story on this) did they get the person in the BMW? What happened? Has Graham lost all use of his arm? (and wont get it back at all?) I'd've been tempted to commit murder, although I'm not the most reasonable of folk when it comes to my family members getting hurt! Why would you not have had another baby if the accident hadn't happened?
Shut me up if you think I'm just being nosey!

Well, to brighten things up a bit, I'm having a lovely time in the house, just me and Lolly, it's absolute bliss and I'll be laying down a few rules when DH gets home with DD1 (i.e: I NEED to have the weekends to myself, either he takes DD1 to his parent's or I get out of the house for a day or 2)
Despite the entire time doing housework and just playing with Lol it's made me feel very alive, and also a little guilty now I know that she's getting totally neglected with DD1 around so I AM going to phone the Tax Credit people tomorrow and start discussing what money's we get if she goes to nursery, Lolly needs my attention and I love giving it to her but it's just not possible with DD1, she is soooo demanding and when she's not directly demanding my attention then she's drawing on the walls or something similar

I can see a silver lining to all this you know, either that or the end of our marriage, either way it'll get things sorted eh?!
xxx

Hi everyone - just jumping on quickly, have skimmed posts.

Hopey is everything ok? are you ok?

Re. the London meet, I am totally flexible on dates and location. For those out of towners, will you be jumping on the trains/ driving? if on trains, which stations will you be coming in to? If you come back to me on that, then I can suggest a few locations that will fit in mothers/ prams that is nice food at a reasonable price.

Had a lovely few days at my mums - Ryan is almost nearly weaned off the breast which is good and sad . Think I did it just intime as he simply isnt interested in the breast anymore. He was starting to drink enough to take the edge off the hunger and then pulling off to look around, so was turning into a fight. He loves the fact that he can look around with his bottle.
Weaning is going well too - we had avocado today which wasnt his fave, but still went down.

Kink - sorry about your HV visit. I havent been since Ryan was 6 weeks and I ask one of my GP friends if I could get into trouble for it and seh said no way. I intend to stay far far away from all HV's.

Hugs to everyone else and let me know about the London visit - driving or training (and if training, which station)

Hello all!

Glad you're not too hungover today hopey . The accident has clearly consumed every aspect of your lives and you're bound to feel completely sick of it all at times. I know there's nothing that he can do about how you feel but there's no harm in sharing it with him, I'm sure he'll appreciate you opening up if you get the chance at some point and he will probably surprise you with how understanding he might be. You never know, it might bring you closer together? Sorry, I'm being pushy now, tell me to shut my gob!

Well, this is probably my last post until we get home next week as I'm planning on staying in my pj's tomorrow and packing etc. I went to the gp on Friday and told him about my excessive hairloss and dry skin so he wants to do a blood test to rule out an underactive thyroid before giving me ad's. I've looked up the symptoms and I probably tick about two thirds of them so I can understand why he wants to rule it out. DH has been making a marked effort around the house this week too which has really helped. We had a big talk last week and told each other a few home truths .

Cerys is doing really well - she's almost sitting up on her own now and I'm convinced that tooth will come through any day. She rolls onto her side but has no intention of rolling all the way over. Her room is ever so cold at night but I'm reluctant to leave the heater on all night or she'll overheat so I've been putting on extra blankets. She's still going from 7-7 but sleeping less in the daytime - I'm dreading the disastrous effects of the hospital stay on our routine but I guess its just something we've got to do. Hopefully we can get back to normal pretty quickly. I'm not sure what sort of baby food they provide so I'm taking my own supplies to start with.

We've been changing the bag every day for a while now and I can't wait to get rid of it. At the same time, I'm not looking forward to this awful nappy rash that I've been told about. She's so so happy, it seems cruel to suddenly put her through next week but it'll all be over and she won't need any more operations after this which puts an end to this chapter of her life. Hopefully we can start being 'normal' (well as normal as this household can get lol!).

Ooooh, Hopey, I've been meaning to ask if you're still using the video monitor for Niamh? We have to turn the router off when we use it as the interference is awful; also the sound is terrible. I'm sure it was you who bought one too (or you were looking at one?) and I just wondered if you'd found a solution? I still love being able to see her, especially as we're so far away (her room is downstairs).

Anyway, better dash as DH has made a big cookie and I'm dying to try it! (two packs of cookie mix bunged into the bottom of a baking tray - yummy!). Will try to pop back on tomorrow but if I don't, I'll make sure I text next week with little updates...

Love to all, PLP xxx

Sorry, meant to say: dal, I felt exactly the same when Cerys went over to the bottle ((hugs)).

I'm up for a meet depending on when and where - I'll see what you guys arrange and how Cerys is and try to get there depending on the details etc.

PLP - best of luck with Cerys. Text in with your updates to your text buddy.

Was nearly in tears this morning as Ryan was nudging my breast - it is really sad, but I know (and hope) once I get past the emotional bit of giving up; I will relish being able to lie in and have someone else look after him first thing. I'd like to say that Ryan loked perturbed when I stuck the bottle in his mouth instead of breast - but he didnt. I am grateful though - wouldnt like to be giving up with a baby who hated the bottle.

Have good days all. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.