JBM/Jammy ? Here?s the advice I was given at sleep clinic.
At this age they should have a rough ?2 up, 2 down? pattern so you should be looking to put them down for naps every 2 hrs. (I have stretched this rule somewhat otherwise would never leave the house. In gen E up between 7/ 7:30, I put her down around 9:30/10 & she is awake 11/11:30. Back down at 2pm, sleeps till 4 then bed around 7:30).
Settle when show first signs of tiredness ? beginning to grizzle, rubbing eyes, yawning, head shaking, losing co-ordination. (When I pick her up E will rub/nuzzle her head into my neck & face ? a sure sign which I naively thought was a cuddle!) When the crying starts they are already overtired & it will be much harder to settle them.
Set the scene for sleep ? darken room, make quiet, remove distractions (toys, mobiles etc). Swaddle, put into cot & tuck in firmly. (I have gone back to swaddling for daytime naps but am too attached to the grobag & still use at night to no detriment).
Hands on settling when she is crying. Think ? do you need to do anything? (I will pop E in her cot & walk out. I ignore the grizzly/ moany little noises & only go to her when she actually cries. Often she will fall over happily or after a few min of grumping. If she full-on cries I always go thru.) The hands on thing is hard to describe, I had the nurse demonstrate so was easier. Put one hand on her chest, other on her tummy & sort of rock her, when the crying dies down pat her & gradually withdraw then leave the room when she is quiet . No eye contact & don?t speak to her but can ?shhhh? a bit.
If she is crying always respond but be aware of not doing too much, only pick up if you have reason to be concerned or she is overly upset. Pick up to calm then settle back to sleep as above.
Follow same routine for all day & night sleeps & nightwakings.
Other general advice:. Work on settling for an hour max. If it fails, pick her up, carry on with your day until next cycle (2 hrs) then try again. If she sleeps less than an hour, try resettling using technique (persevere for around 10 min before lifting). Don?t allow a nap to continue beyond 2 hrs. Don?t allow napping beyond 4/4:30pm or will impact on bedtime routine. Can take up to 2 weeks of persistence/ consistency to achieve results.
The hands on thing was the hardest. The first time she cried & cried & it took 40 min to get her to sleep. The crying is caused by tiredness & has a quite distinct pattern of highs & lows. At the point where crying reaches a crescendo I would usually have picked her up but this wakens her more & the pattern starts at the beginning again so she didn?t sleep basically because I was interfering & not letting her. The nurse said they have to hit that wall to then calm down. Often they will repeat the pattern a few times before sleeping. The next time I put her down it took 10-15 min of hands on before she was sound asleep & that night she went down without a peep. Now she generally goes down pretty easily & sleeps well. I really hope this helps.