August 2021 Babies - Running on Caffeine and Baby Smiles

[PurplePansy05]

Welcome to the chattiest post-natal club on MN!

We have welcomed 31 gorgeous new babies together 💖💙 ...

We have filled up several more like a hundred threads in the antenatal birth clubs chat...

...and now we have finally graduated and officially moved to the postnatal birth clubs chat! 🥳

Graduates of the August 2021 (and thereabouts) thread:

@Smurf123 & baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler & her baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles & baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain & her baby boy 💙
@PurplePansy05 & baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 & baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum & baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 & baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 & baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 & baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 & baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx & baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x & baby Ella💖
@biscuitcat & baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername & baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns & baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 & baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque & baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 & baby Ethan 💙
@WolfMother326 & baby Alasdair 💙
@BertieBotts & baby Alex 💙
@RandomCatGenerator & baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp & baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB & baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 & baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 & her baby boy 💙
@Fran919 & her baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 & baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x & her baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries & baby Frankie 💖
@ame88 & baby Lily 💖

Tagging @Dia12, @livingwithbees, @Sheisfee, @Alittlexmasmagic and @LottSE20 in the opening post so you know we're here as and when you wish to rejoin/share your updates 💐

Here we go!

Does anyone want a free hello fresh box ?? I have 4 to give away for free ☺️

@wimbler sorry I just jumped on to ask if anyone wanted one of those boxes and didn't even read your posts until after l! Hope DH and DD are okay! 🥺

Thanks for all your messages yesterday. I took the baby round to my mums today after her check at the doctors and I’m now at the hairdressers which is a nice break and will hopefully make me feel a bit more human!

That must have been scary @wimbler, glad all are ok!

Glad your DH and DD are okay @wimbler how scary for him!

@wimbler glad they are both OK!

Gosh @wimbler glad you're all OK.

DD had her vaccinations this morning at 11 and has been asleep ever since. She had calpol after and due 2 more doses. I cried when she got her 2 injections

Well so much for having a break at the hairdressers. The baby is suffering from colic, which is normally worst in the evenings, but it seems today she screamed nearly the whole time I was out. DH gave me a running commentary of this whilst I was at the hairdressers and even sent me videos of her screaming, which whilst I know how hard it is to deal with, I don’t think it is fair when there was nothing I could do, and also means I was not able to relax at all while I was out. He is now saying he is never having her on his own again. I’m hoping that he will change on that but right now I just feel so sad about all of it 😥

Oh I’m sorry @notinthestarsigns. That sounds really hard. I hope they both calm down - DH and the baby. DS has also had a constantly screaming afternoon, it is really tough but your DH is not giving you the support you need by taking that position so I hope he comes around. Sending ❤️

And oh my goodness sending love and stiff drinks (or indulgent non-alcoholic alternative) to you too, @wimbler! So glad they’re both ok.

@Ready2020 I had to step back and let my (needle-phobic…) DH hold the baby down when having injections, I could barely look. Didn’t think it would affect me but was hard to watch!

@RandomCatGenerator did your DC sleep for long? Wondering if I'm going to have a wide awake baby at 2am!

@Ready2020 my DS barely slept at all, he was awake almost constantly for the next 36 hours, which was not a wonderful time for anyone involved. But I gather sleepiness is more common - my niece slept a lot for the next two days and had to be woken for feeds.

@Ready2020 DS had his injections today too, and I also cried - I know it's for his own good but it's so horrible to watch.

@notinthestarsigns that's so unfair of him to ruin your relaxation time, I think you're owed an apology there. Of course it's no fun dealing with a colicky baby, but it's part of parenting! Also ridiculous that he is refusing to have her on his own - hopefully just a snap reaction to a bad morning but not ok, he's her dad, of course he has to have her on his own!

@wimbler that sounds so scary for you, really glad everyone is OK xx

I seem to remember DS2 reacted differently with each vaccination appointment. I get really anxious about needles and although I try to keep it to myself it turns out that the DC react much better when DH takes them for anything like that so he has reluctantly agreed to do all vaccinations from now on!

Baby has been asleep pretty much all day today! He's been more awake for the past 2 days so perhaps he's just processing it all. Had my 6 week check up this morning and he slept all through that although I had taken him in case he needed a feed. Still having absolutely no luck expressing. Will probably give up and just get some of those mini formula bottles in case I need/want to leave him at any point.

Agree @notinthestarsigns he can't never have her on his own! It is horrible when they have a day like that, but sorry to say the best way to get better at soothing is to spend more time trying to soothe, even through the times that nothing is working.

@BertieBotts I have done exactly that for leaving dd. Can't express so have a box of the ready made formula for if I'm out. Also started using it once a day to give the gaviscon too and it worked better than anything else Ive tried. The size 0 teat seemed to help too. Though dd still isn't fussed on it so if I'm about she will take most of the 110ml formula with gaviscon and finish off with a small breastfeed 🙈 but at least i know if I was out it would tide her over until I got home.

OH just brought DD up for the night and she's wide awake and just did a huge poop as I was feeding her. Typical that I'll now have her after her sleepy time and during the after effects....

Coming on for a rant!
I've been finding it all so hard the past few days and I'm stuck in an endless loop of frustration and guilt.

I think I thought by 6 weeks I'd have it all a bit more figured out but now we're there if anything I'm finding it harder that ever and it's really knocked my confidence.

DD cries all day, unless she's on the boob. She hardly sleeps in the day and if I do manage to somehow get her to sleep (on the boob, nothing else will do) she cries out in her sleep.

She's been having one bottle of EBM a day, usually around 5am when DH gets up with her but she'll still cry after until she gets boob so it seems pointless. I think I spent about 10 hours with her latched on yesterday so even leaving the house feels impossible.

DH did the whole night last night as I had a bit of a teary moment about how relentless it all is and that no one can help. She'd been awake for 8 hours at this point. That's just made me feel guilty as he's now at work all day on little to no sleep.

I think she's got an issue with silent reflux and trapped wind (we struggle to burp her) as she bubbles at the mouth and squirms constantly. I keep her upright after every feed and burp for hours but it doesn't seem to make an impact.

DH's latest suggestion is that I stop breastfeeding but I don't see how that will help as it's the only way to get her to sleep right now?!

That was longer than I anticipated, sorry for the downer ☹️ just needed to get it out!

It's such early days @dirtyfries don't be hard on yourself. 6/7 weeks is a bit of a "peak" for many during the early weeks so you're nearly over that hump. It's meant to statistically the the week they cry the most in their whole lives. It gets better.

I think sometimes people suggest giving up breastfeeding as a kind of knee jerk reaction when they see that it seems stressful for you or because they don't know what else to say. Perhaps because they have known only bottle fed babies and somehow imagine that bottle feeding is the factor that is different (unfortunately not always the case). If you don't feel that it would be helpful to stop or introduce formula then don't. What would be helpful? If you could wave a magic wand and get whatever you wanted? Then you might be able to draw a road map to that (or a pared down realistic version if it's really not possible).

Can you ask your health visitor or gp for support with suspected reflux? Or go to a pharmacy and ask what is available for this age group. Pharmacists are qualified to advise on over the counter meds.

What happens if you try to leave the house even if she is screaming?

Would it be helpful if you could learn how to feed in a sling?

Oh gosh @wimbler how awful! So glad they're ok, must have been such stress for them and for you

FWIW, I cried after DS's vaccinations too, it all seemed pretty brutal. But I think I took it worse than him, he just quietly recovered after lots of sleep 🤷🏼‍♀️ I am not looking forward to the repear at 12 and 16 wks at all though.

@notinthestarsigns He shouldn't have been sending these to you. You are entitled to get a haircut in peace, for goodness sake, would you have bothered him if he went to the barbers? No, unless it was a medical emergency. Just because some days are hard he can't do this to you. I'm sure he didn't mean that he won't look after your DD on his own again, he was probably at the end of his tether. He doesn't exactly have a choice, it's his child as much as yours.

@dirtyfries Big hugs. I am personally finding life a lot harder emotionally now and he's 9 weeks old than before. I too feel drained and like I just don't know what else to do sometimes when he's crying and no one knows why anymore, bf seems never enough, he's glued to me too much and I get no break, and sometimes I feel rejected when just nothing works or when he keeps flailing, wailing, arching and pushing my breast away. I honestly screamed at least 10 times into the air in the last few weeks that I'd quit bf for good, said some awful stuff about everyone in my household, even including poor DS and my lovely dog whilst pacing up and down the hall at 3.30 am, cried, had enough, the lot. It's not like this all the time but it's gone harder. When I calm down I know quitting bf is not the answer and DS and my dog aren't difficult on purpose, obviously however DH still deserves his fair share of criticism. What helps me is thinking that time flies and whilst it's difficult now, this time will pass and they won't be refluxy/clingy/bf forever. It's few months in a grand scheme of things and I also think things will be better once babies start to communicate more, at the moment it all feels very one sided and it gets too much. You need to leave the baby with your other half for a bit, get out or shut yourself off with headphones in a bath or whatever else will help you breathe and get your head straight, every day. Half an hour at least is what helps me. It's not easy and what you're feeling is completely justified and you're not alone in this xx

Thank you everyone, glad yesterday is over. The admin involved in accidents is so time consuming. We are still waiting for the car to be recovered and have the damage assessed. we’ve only had it 3 weeks and it’s brand new. 500 miles on the clock 🙄 have time wait until we can collect it to get the car seats out and photographed and until then we don’t have a base for ds’s car seat. Thankfully can use the seatbelt attachment but I don’t really like using that. I don’t think it’s as safe. Thankfully we have a spare car seat for dd so can get her to and from nursery.

@notinthestarsigns that’s not fair of your dh but i suspect his comments are a knee jerk reaction.

@dirtyfries it sounds like something else might be going on for her to be so unsettled. Have you had her checked for tongue tie or anything? Might be worth trying to go to a feeding clinic if there are any in your area? I’ve found them so helpful and the people running them are always so lovely.

Thanks all, as a few of you have said, thankfully he didn’t mean some of the things that he said, I think it was just really hard for me at the time because I really needed the break and then didn’t get it, and also I deal with the baby day in day out and obvs don’t (and can’t!) turn round and say I’m never having her on my own again. However today is a new day, it started with having to give DD a bath at 6am due to her having sick all over her but at the moment all is calm so I’m making the most of it!

Interesting that a couple of you are also finding things harder, DD is 8 weeks tomorrow and I’m definitely finding things harder than they have been at the moment, just got to try take one day at a time I think!

@Inmypjsagain are you taking a car? If you've got the space then just take whatever you can! So I used his pram as a trolley to put my big bag on/chunky cardigan/hoody, and had him in the carrier, but I knew I would have to pack light!!!! I had one bag for me, shoved all his clothes in his changing bag and then a few things in my lunch backpack and a couple of warm tops dotted around where I could. I got my mum to buy doubles of a few things you mentioned - a chair, angle bath seat, formula, nappies, wipes, changing mat, mattress (she still has my cot so he's using that) but otherwise I would have had to have brought them if travelling by car, but of course by train wasn't an option!

This was the set up I had (pic attached) with a lunch back pack (+ his extras) and his bag with me. It is possible, don't worry! And I'm normally one who packs 15 pairs of underwear for a 3 day trip 😂 (the bag on the very top of the shelf isn't mine).

Sorry for delayed reply - didnt come on here at all yesterday! I ended up having a very nice chilled evening after the train - I had a little bit of wine and slept in the other room. My mum had him overnight so it was pretty blissful for me 😂 he was really good last night and seems in his normal routine. I've also ditched the pumping now so the night time feed is quicker!

Haven't caught up properly yet - hope everyone is well x

@Inmypjsagain I also knew I'd have access to mum's washing machine/drier which helped me to pack a bit lighter. Will you have access to one?

Own business wise - I've done a few personalised house/wedding venue drawings for some friends/friends of friends (architectural background). Im looking into hopefully turning that into something but of course it's not going to make me a proper wage, if anything!

@wimbler that sounds very scary! Glad all is ok!

@notinthestarsigns my DH sent me a recording of him screaming when I left them both for the afternoon once - don't they realise we know how it sounds?! The idea is that they deal with it and we get a break!! Very disappointing he said he'll never have her on his own again. I really hope that was a just a heat of the moment thing as he really can't expect that from you.

@dirtyfries don't feel guilty about your DH being at work without much sleep. I know it's not ideal but it's a one off - he'll be ok! Could you give combi feeding a go? Then you might be able to get a little bit of a break? That sounds very tough I realise it's not for everyone so I hope you're not offended by the suggestion!

Sorry for quadruple posting! I'm all caught up now!

@dirtyfries sorry you are having a hard time. With my first he sounded maybe similar. Honestly there were days when I fed him changed him then put him in the pram put my headphones in waterproofs on and we walked. Sometimes he continued shouting but other times he went to sleep eventually. He especially liked bumpy pavements and didnt like if I walked too slow. But of nothing else it gave me a break from feeding and the crying sounded less severe.
Id also say if you think it's silent reflux and your happy to try medication fight for it as some drs just say oh they will grow out of it but you know your child best! Dd has been on gaviscon for a few days now and it has made a huge difference! Gp said you know within a week or two whether it is going to help so I thought it was worth trying for a week.