August 2021 Babies - Running on Caffeine and Baby Smiles

[PurplePansy05]

Welcome to the chattiest post-natal club on MN!

We have welcomed 31 gorgeous new babies together 💖💙 ...

We have filled up several more like a hundred threads in the antenatal birth clubs chat...

...and now we have finally graduated and officially moved to the postnatal birth clubs chat! 🥳

Graduates of the August 2021 (and thereabouts) thread:

@Smurf123 & baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler & her baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles & baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain & her baby boy 💙
@PurplePansy05 & baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 & baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum & baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 & baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 & baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 & baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 & baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx & baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x & baby Ella💖
@biscuitcat & baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername & baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns & baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 & baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque & baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 & baby Ethan 💙
@WolfMother326 & baby Alasdair 💙
@BertieBotts & baby Alex 💙
@RandomCatGenerator & baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp & baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB & baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 & baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 & her baby boy 💙
@Fran919 & her baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 & baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x & her baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries & baby Frankie 💖
@ame88 & baby Lily 💖

Tagging @Dia12, @livingwithbees, @Sheisfee, @Alittlexmasmagic and @LottSE20 in the opening post so you know we're here as and when you wish to rejoin/share your updates 💐

Here we go!

@Daffodil21 you're a superwoman! DH is away for a week quite soon and tried to get me to join him, which would have involved a 12 hour flight pretty well on my own - I said no way! Though I'm sure it would have been lovely when we arrived, and maybe better than being home alone...

So frustrating to hear about men just not getting it - the mental load cartoon is so accurate.

We had a success last night - managed to do an actual bed time routine for the first time which meant he was asleep during dinner, in his basket not being held, so we could actually eat properly, and then only woke up for an 11pm feed when we did his nappy, then 3 and 6:15! I know it's nowhere near as good as some of your super-sleepers are doing, but my goodness I feel so much better than when he's up at 1, 4 and 6! I'm not going to get my hopes up that it'll be like that every night, but lovely while it lasts!

@biscuitcat I'm happy to do a train but I'm not sure about a flight!!!! I think that's where I'd draw the line! I hate flying though.

That's great about dinner and your sleep routine! Your night last night sounds like our typical nights which I find are doable and leave me feeling functional the next day. Although I do go back to bed after the 6am one!

@biscuitcat It's not always that colourful here - last night Leo woke up for a feed at 3.30, stayed awake, not crying (but I thought he might still be hungry so I stupidly stayed awake 🤦🏼‍♀️) , he then fed loads at 7, 9 and 10 and now he's passed out on me with my boobs hanging out 🤷🏼‍♀️ We're out of our usual feeding routine after the vaccinations, he's been feeding all over the place and had more formula last week, it comforted him more than unlatching when he was all cranky. But now it's more difficult, I feel we need to be back in our usual bf zone. I think this has really rattled me too in the last week, despite 3 good nights sleep. I have no surplus milk it seems and it got me worried it's going to disappear. I now think I'd rather get up once at night and stick to the usual!

@Daffodil21 Look at him, such a trooper! I hope you brought lots of snacks for such a long journey, treat yourself to a nice coffee or even a cheeky small glass of bubbly! 🥂 It's nearly 11am, we'll pass it xx

@PurplePansy05 a glass of bubbly would definitely go straight to my head! Have lots of snacks and an hour at Edinburgh to get something yummy. I asked mum to get me a mini bottle of wine - glad I did now so I can have it when I get back while she has cuddles!!

@Daffodil21 I quite enjoy flying - pre-baby and pre-covid I used to fly quite a lot when I'd go with DH for his work, especially when I used to be a teacher so had school holidays, but doing it on my own with a baby and all the mountains of stuff that come with seems quite daunting! I went back to bed after my 6am one too - actually not a bad night's sleep really! Hope you've made it safe and sound and are enjoying your wine 😋

@PurplePansy05 I think I'll miss having my boobs out with a sleeping baby on me when he's big 😂 it's funny how even when a routine is a bit more demanding in terms of waking, it's still definitely got benefits of being predictable. If you're really worrying, would a quick pumping session at night help?

@biscuitcat I pumped yesterday late eve, yes. Was hoping to squeeze in another pumping session this morning but he was all over me up until now. Was going to take him to his sensory class, but told DH to take him instead (he's off today). I literally need an hour to myself. He's unbelievably cute but also clingy 🤦🏼‍♀️ 😴 How is your day going? xx

@biscuitcat ha I'm not there yet. Get in just after 7pm and then a half hour drive back to mum's. So actually not 13.5 hours like I said before - it was supposed to be 10.5, now going to be 12.5 hours. Dreaming of that wine 😂

@Daffodil21 Noo total nightmare!! If you've bought a through ticket and missed your train due to a delay on the first, I believe you can claim compensation or even get a taxi to your destination at the train company's expense (may be too late for that). Might be worth looking up your rights - I bet moneysavingexpert would know.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/train-delays/

I've just hit the top of his head. I was changing him and as I lifted him back into the carrier I bumped it on the ceiling!!!!!! I'm so annoyed with myself.

Thanks @BertieBotts

@Daffodil21 I went to the loo the other day whilst wearing DD in the carrier. Was an experience il say that 🤣😂

Well the last 2 hours have been awful! I called the HV after I hit his head - they said just keep an eye but if I'm worried called 111. They said I'm obv worried enough to call them so I could 111. So I did and was on hold for half an hour and then the phone cut out because if the signal, and then I had to get off the train.

But then an hour and a half after I bumped him, he threw up (yes he was in the carrier, yes it went over me, yes I took my jumper off but it went though to my t shirt, so now I'm sat in a t shirt with baby sick on!). Then I panicked because he is not a sicky baby so I phoned my friend who is a GP while he was crying and it was chucking it down with rain. She sent me a very helpful NHS fact sheet which has a traffic light system of symptoms, and under twice vomiting is green. So far so good, hopefully it stays this way.

I get on the next train with him crying. Thankfully it's quiet apart from a couple of people who I apologise to and explain that I just need to get him settled (and really hoping this is the case!!). Got him on easily as there was already a cycle ramp thing down and changed him out of his wet clothes in his pram and thankfully he has settled and is now back to his normal smiley self.

If I hadn't bumped his head the throwing up etc I could have dealt with, but I didn't know if it was head related or not!!!!

1 hour 15 mins to goooooo

You’re a superhero @Daffodil21 🦸‍♀️

@RandomCatGenerator or just stupid 😂

Hi all, I’ve not posted here in a while. Just wondered if anyone else is feeling a bit isolated now all the visitors have died down etc? It’s such a big life change not working and spending all day every day with the baby. Im probably just having a bad day, not helped by sleep deprivation, but I just feel like I’m struggling just me and the baby all day and with the lack of structure to things. I enjoyed the walks when the weather was better but they’re a bit more miserable now it’s not as nice. If anyone else feels like this or has done after previous babies is there anything that helped? I feel like there is so much pressure to enjoy mat leave and I’m worrying that it’s just not for me 😥

@Daffodil21 I have just seen your most recent post, I really hope the rest of your journey is peaceful and that your mum takes over to give you a rest when you get there! You must be exhausted x

@notinthestarsigns have you found any baby groups near you? I'm planning on going to at least 2 a week if I can manage it and I have nothing else planned in the week. One of the groups is at DS school and ties in nicely with school pick up too x

@lucyrp I went to one at a local church hall today. There were only a couple of others there and they seemed nice but I just found the whole thing a bit awkward, which I think made me feel worse! I have booked on to a class that starts after half term so that will be one thing each week. I’m torn between wanting to be out doing things and being too tired to go anywhere! But hopefully I can find a couple of things that work for us.

I’m probably just having a bad day, and need to remember I had bad days when at work too! But also think I probably need to try and plan the weeks out a bit to get a good balance of having things to do and time at home where I can.

@notinthestarsigns it is tough isn't it when you've spent your adult life working and then you suddenly have this time not working but it's not exactly a holiday!

I'm not necessarily enjoying it but I'm not hating it either. The days blend into one but it was like the working from home during lock down too. I've now got a class and a group every week plus a weekly visit from my sister. I find that is enough and on the other days make sure I get a walk in. At the weekend we tend to go out as OH is not working. So I think finding your own routine can make the weeks pass quicker. I'm not wishing my baby away but these are the slightly boring days!

I think when you're tired though it's harder as to just don't have the energy and just want to lounge on the sofa but you've got this baby to entertain!

@notinthestarsigns I’ve been so lucky that some of my friends fell pregnant not long after I did. I’ve been able to meet them for walks and/or lunch which has been good and it’s not like meeting ‘non-baby’ people where you’re just having to say yeah he’s great etc etc. I’ve started going to one class per week and registered him for water babies today so that might be our other class of the week (when we get to the top of the waiting list). I have a dog so find that takes up a lot of my time as we have to take him a decent walk every day. I do find myself wondering where I can go or who I can visit when I have a day where nothing is happening 🙈 I can’t believe 8 weeks have passed though, I’ve been doing at least one thing nearly every day for that whole time!

The massage class I’ve started only has a maximum of 5 people in it and I found that really took the pressure off last week when I went to it myself. If it was a big room full of people I would probably have been put off going but I decided just to go myself since it was a small class. Some of the girls there had came with their friend but I wasn’t too bothered since it was so small and we were all just chatting. Not looking forward to going to the bigger, more cliquey ones quite so much 😬

@notinthestarsigns I won't lie I haven't been to any yet and was going to go to my first today. Took DS to school and popped home to get the changing bag and dress DD and feed her before we went. I drove to the village it was in and couldn't find anywhere to park as some people had parked stupidly so where there was room for 4/5 cars it was taken by 2 cars parked terribly. A girl I know had said to me to come along and I spotted her car there but I'd never been to the church hall there so didn't know what it looked like. I finally found it but then couldn't tell if people were inside or not so ended up sitting in the car crying because I was so anxious I didn't even want to get out to see if it was in there or not. So yeah that went well🥴 going to try going to a different one tomorrow 😅 wish me luck

Oh no @lucyrp, I hope tomorrow goes a bit better! The group that I went to today is close to home so I could walk, I had planned to walk to the shops after to pick something up for our lunch, my husband is working at home so was getting something for him too, but then the baby literally didn’t stop screaming in the pram so after walking round the park about 3 times trying to get her to stop I walked back home without any lunch feeling absolutely exhausted! It then carried on nearly all afternoon, strange as she is normally quite settled in the afternoons, which is probably why I was wishing I was back at work!

Thanks for your replies also @sarah13xx and @Ready2020. A lot of my friends have toddlers or school age children. I think I thought I would see a lot more of friends as most of them work part time but I think everyone already seems to have their own routines and things going on.

@notinthestarsigns It is so isolating and a shock to the system when you have your first baby.

I agree with the others that meeting people is key. It's normal for it to be a bit awkward at first but look for as many local groups as you can find. Go to all of them at least 2 or 3 times and you'll start to see the same faces and have people to talk to. If you really hate one then don't go back but normally they're ok once you've broken the ice a bit.

For your friends with older children especially if you think there's any chance they might be planning any more or there are any with less than a 2 year gap to your baby, ask them when it would work for them for you to meet up. It makes such a difference to see people and have adult conversation even if it is baby focused.

I'm starting to think about groups and friends again now. I asked on our local Facebook group if anyone wants to meet up but now Facebook has gone boom :o oh well. I'm sure it will be back in the morning.

Sorry meant to add, ask them because firstly they probably don't want to bother you as they don't know whether you're still in the newborn bubble, but secondly IME it's harder to work around toddler routines than tiny new babies so you'll probably have to fit in with them rather than them fitting in with you. And lastly they might be a bit nervous about controlling their toddler around the baby as you have to be pretty careful so they might think you're not quite in the headspace for that yet. So if you are just let them know.