December 2007 - Santa's come early for some of us...

[Housemum]

Thought I'd start off the new thread as I've never started one before - congratulations to those of you who are on here now - hope I'll be joing you in the not-too-distant future!

Bouncing, not good Hope DD is not like that tonight for me. I think we are about 3 days apart - interesting to see the similarities isn't it? She was very unsettled all this afternoon so hoping she will sleep OK tonight but there's always the risk they get over-tired.

I have been feeling pretty good the last couple of days but tonight feel like the broken nights are starting to catch up with me. Am actually getting a reasonable amount of sleep but never in more than 3 hour blocks.

At least I'm not alone in having the unsettled child, Buzzy.
Can I also confess at times find bfing deeply wearing , especially as seems to be feeding constantly. He only seems to be awake when he is hungry. I love the fact I can do it, but I find it hard to be the sole source of nourishment for Daniel. A couple of times I've just cried and refused to feed him because I was so knackered [guilty]. Luckily I'd expressed some milk to dh was able to give him a bottle to give me a break.

Bouncing - I suspect majority of BF mums would say exactly the same - some secretly and others more open about it. Even though for me this time things are so so much better that with DD1 there are still times - more when DH is either out to work or off with Rugby, on his bike etc or talking about a couple of weekends away he's got planned that I think - great for you mate - I can't go anywhere coz of this feeding lark. it almost feels like you feed, settle LO, then clock watch until next one doesn't it!! I'm really aware that I fell into the PND hole last time - mainly due to CS but also as I had no life of my own when all around me seemed to be getting back to normal (whatever that is). To try and help this time I've started expressing just once a day so DH can give the 7pm (ish) feed so if I did want to go out just for a bit I can - sounds selfish I know, and as you say, it's lovely to be able to BF - but - well - claustrophobic was the word I used last time. Hope all that sort of makes sense????

ON a real positive DD2 fed last night at 11pm, wouldn't settle admittedly until 12ish but then slept until 6am Sorry - not gloating but just feel far more human getting 5 to 6 hrs a night - sleep that is - what's with this Sex talk - what's that then????!!!!!! Surely now I have 2 DD's I don't need to do any of that nonsense again do I not just yet though for me.

Also must join in the LO on their front club - DD1 was exactly the same (as was I and my 2 sisters according to my Mum) - we now put DD2 down on her side all propped up but usually she ends up on her tummy - she can lift her head now so not too bad but has just never settled on her back.

Sorry for long post - making most of quiet period when DD2 is in the land of nod - used one of those strange swaddle blankets this morning to try and get her to settle in her basket instead of the asleep on us then carefully being put down - guess what - it worked - feel like a mug now for all those other times though I bet it's a one off

Bouncing, I've said the same thing too. It's hard being the only food, I've refused to feed when very knackered and she's only fed 1hr earlier. I think a few mums would admit the same.

Really glad I'm not alone!
Beanster - congrats on your good nights sleep - actually gives me some hope!!
I think expressing to allow a bottle feed will prove to keep us sane!!

Bouncing, you are not alone. DS is also VERY unsettled (why is it so hard for me to admit that?). I think for me the first step is being able to admit he is unsettled, and the next is to stop feeling like it is my fault! DD had horrendous colic as a newborn but the most I would ever say to people was that she was a little bit colicky cos I felt as though I had failed in her being that way and that people would judge me.

DS is usually ok as long as he is in the sling, and while I do believe in going with his needs, I also do need to put him down sometimes for my own sanity. Also I'm finding the screaming after feeds very wearing, I don't actually have a problem with being the sole feeder, but wish he wouldnt scream so much afterwards!

DH is trying to help, but really he doesn't have a clue. He has never looked after dd singlehandedly for a whole day, let alone a screaming newborn- I don't think he appreciates how wearing it can be. For example he now gets home in time to bath dd which is great cos it allows me to feed ds. BUT he spends over an hour bathing her/dressing her etc, when what I really want is for him to bath her then come and settle DS for me. I told him that last night but he just got the arse and said he was helping me. He doesn't understand that I need a break from ds sometimes (I'm finding it very undignified taking a shit with ds strapped to my front and dd standing in front of me giving a running commentary incidentally! Especially as dd never used to feel the need to accompany me)

Yesterday at toddlers someone said how newborns were easy cos they just slept, woke for a feed then put themselves back to sleep. I was like "not in my world!" DD got much easier once she could move around and play with things(luckily was rolling at 3 months and sitting at 4)and I'm hoping DS will be the same cos he is bloody hard work for now!

Insy this is my sling. Love it!

If you look on bigmama slings it gives more info too-really does work for ds. Am thinking of getting a gauze one for around the house cos worry about him overheating in the fleece but don't know if it is worth it-dd grew out of her needing to be held constantly by 3 months...

Claireybee - RE: your last paragraph - ha ha ha ha ha ha! Who is the joker there? What was that about putting themselves to sleep? And where does the screaming come into it?

Still feel like shit today. Was feeling better yesterday but had another night of explosive jobbies (sorry tmi) and sickness. DS was a love and only woke up at 5am, but I'd been up all night anyway. What a waste of a good potential night's sleep.

On the very plus side, I think I got my first real smile from the laddie this morning. I don't think it was wind this time.

Bouncing - I'm so bored of breastfeeding. It is never ending. What is all that shit about feeding every 2 and a half hours, DS wants it all the time or he screams. I honestly feel like I'm a dried up rag sometimes.

poor millie has colic not badly, but really not settled the last couple of days. My night nanny (who is a paediatric nurse) has told me to go out for some medication today. Thankfully the poor wee mite is comforted by lying on her tummy, particularly on daddy or mummy. I have finished my antibiotics now so hopefully my milk will be rather better for her. Had a curry last night, so maybe that will get her moving!

breastfeeding is extremely tedious isn't it? She was in such a good routine, but with her being uncomfortable there is no way i am not going to give her what she wants right now.

Aw sorry Wizz how annoying that you couldn't sleep when ds did!

Well done on the smile though, makes it all worth it doesn't it? DS "spoke" to me for the first time on Tuesday-looked right at me and made a little baby coo. I'm keeping that in mind whenever I get fed up with the screaming!

Am worried that dd is watching far too much cbeebies-she can name loads of the programmes/characters and sing the space pirates theme tune (blame her dad for that last one...) On the plus side she also knows most of her numbers from one to ten thanks to numberjacks! Feel very lucky, she is usually happy to occupy herself and doesn't complain at all about me spending so much time feeding/settling ds- am very conscious of neglecting her though!

Clairey - I know what you mean about wanting dp/dh to come and give you a break.
Dp gets in from work about 6 but has got a lift the past few nights so has been in earlier, he baths ds and gets him ready for bed but he makes such a big job of it, where really it could be done in about 15 mins. I realise he wants to spend time with him as he's out the house for 12 hours a day but still.

I wouldnt say Ethan is unsettled but he does have his moments, like this morning, he woke up at just after 5, but it took him until 7 to go back off to sleep. He doesnt really cry but makes these funny noises and throws his arms all over the place.

I have been lying him on the bed with me when he's like that but really dont want to get him used to it. Ds1 was always put in his moses basket and i think only needed help to settle a couple of t imes, he was really good

claraq - Aliya!
mixedmama - all the best for this weekend!

well since yesterday afternoon dd2 been feeding for 1.5 hrs each time, which has really tired me out and at night wakung every hour for a feed. really trying my hardest with bf but cant help thinking maybe am not producing enough milk - that's why she is so unsettled

clareybee - feel exactly the same - am allowing dd1 to watch plenty of cbeebies as well and feeling very guily about it, BUT it is a great help when dd2 is having a marathon feed.

wizzska and bouncing - completely agree with you, so bored and fed up with bfeeding, but still doing it. I gave up very easily with dd1 and this time I'm defo going to give it my best shot.

hi everyone

don't have time to respond to everyone but to all of those with unsettled babies huge sympathies, it's not your fault and imo most babies just are like this at tthis age - some worse than others - but anyone who says they have an angel baby who settles happily at night is probably lying or only remembering the latest good night. martha is generally a really good baby but i still usually feed/and or rock her to sleep at night and just sort of assume this is par for the course. she'll grow out of it in the end.

those who are endlessly breast feeding - more sympathies. sometimes the baby's are just sucking for comfort and not actually hungry. i found the baby whisperer really helpful first time round for tips on how to spot a baby's cues eg was she hungry, tired etc. she's also good on getting the baby into a manageable routine.

claireybee - hurrah for cbeebies i say. not only does my dd1 know most of the songs and characters but so do i! I AM A PARTICULAR EXPERT on boogie beebies - in fact if i went on mastermind - eg when i get my brain back - that would be my subject....

right dd1 asleep upstairs, dd2 just falling asleep in my arms - must get on and do some tidying and/or pumping - which dd1 now calls humpkin pumpkin after my dh told her i was humping and pumping in the kitchen...

hi amani x post. aliya is a lovely name. glad i am not the only one who lets dd1 watch endless tv. peppa pig is another favourite. well done on the breast feeding. it is bloody hard but i decided to take it one day at a time and here i am at 4 weeks plus and gradually getting into a three-hourly routine. it does get easier. i promise!

Claraq, I've got The Baby Whisperer, it is helpful, but as DS has been struggling with weight gain I've let him eat as much as he wants. Have struggled to put him on the routine suggested. Hopefully when he gets a little bigger we'll be able to.

OMG - has hell frozen over? DS is awake, and happy and quiet in his vibrating chair and has let me log on, get lunch and vacuum the hall and stairs!!! WTF! This is a major step forward.

Hi, just a quick encouraging msg to those who are struggling with bfeeding... I think the trick with this constant and unpredictable bfeeding that a lot of us are going through is to try and remember that this is THE hardest part, once the nipples have toughened up and the endless feeding settles into more of a routine (which it does, I promise) then bfeeding becomes a pleasure, a bonding experience, quick, easy and cheap ie ALL the things people bang on about! If you quit now then you'll miss out on the easy bit which is a shame because we're nearly there, just a few more weeks...

I hope that came across right, not meant to be preachy and I'm no bfeeding 'purist' as I top up with an ounce or 2 of formula (btw, this doesn't miraculously turn him into an angel baby) IF I feel ds is hungry, and some might be opposed to this, I'd love to move on to expressing soon when ds lets up on me, as its nice to get that break in the eves (I can have a nice glass of red then too=bliss!)

Buzzy, thanks so much for sharing that info, it really helped. Ds kidney also 1cm on 20w scan and 2cm by 41w scan so I'll really keep eye out for uti signs now, just wish they'd send apt - i'm phoning hospital tomorrow. Hope Bea's 6 w scan goes well

Wizz, i soo nearly bought a vibro chair but thought it might be a gimmick so got a normal one. I am now cursing that decision big time!!!!!!!

lizzer - not at all preachy. i bf in public yesterday for first with lo. he is 2 weeks today. he is still unpredictable with length and time of feed but trying to be chilled about it as figure will all work out.

Lizzer - I was going to post a similar thing. BF does get better (eventually).

Hey everybody

Just thought I'd say hello in a rare quiet few minutes. have been trying to post 4 days but by the time I catch up on the messages, DS is awake again.

glad to hear that am in same boat as so many other people. henry is 5 weeks old today and can't believe how quickly that time has flown by. He sleeps some nights for 5 hours or so and on other nights is awake at midnight, 2 , 3, 4 and 5 and can'tsee that do anythingdifferently on those days

bouncing - completely agree re the b/feeding. some days feels like beautiful womanly bonding experience and other days just a complete pain in the a*se depending on what frame of mind i'm in and how much sleep i've had

good to see that we're all hanging on in there though. never thought I'd be proud of myself just to be able to have got a load of washing done and written some thank you cards - don't know how you ladies with a toddler as well manage - hats off to you!

but can someone please reassure me that I'm not a complete failure because I can't manage to get out of my dressing gown before midday or get a meal cooked by the time that DH comes home. Does anyone else feel like they should be Supermum already?

thanks girls, would've been if seen as evangelical!

Sarahpt, yes i feel like that ALL the time.This is my life- I don't dressed til after 12, i promise i'll get tea sorted but don't go shopping. I put dd off doing her homework last night cos too knackered to help her. I think i'm great if i manage to put on washing and wash up breakfast dishes (I don't eat off a plate at lunchtime if i can help it, to save washing up!) I justify going online on laptop by doing something 'useful' whilst b/feeding (obviously mn-ing is helping to maintain my communication skills as i begin to realise everyone i know works 9-5!) The thankyou cards are left unwritten, every day they're on my to-do list. I make the bed just before dp gets home to make tip of a bedroom look slightly better......... and on and on and on

There's a lovely (ok, its a bit cheesy) poem about this, i'll try and find it......

.....Ah the power of google!!

Babies Don't Keep

Mother, oh Mother,
come shake out your cloth,
empty the dustpan,
poison the moth,
hang out the washing
and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house
is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery,
blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little
Boy Blue (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done
and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing
will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up,
as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep'

~Author Unknown ~

Im often still in my pj's most of the day, all day if we arent going out anywhere

Ive had a really good day today though, ds1 went up for his nap about 11.30 and didnt get up until just after 1, and ds2 has slept in his moses basket just about all day from 10 - 1.30, had feed and is still asleep now
Ive managed to go right through the house, even wiped down the framework outside.
I know i'll be in for a crap night tonight though