April 2007 - All change! Maveta comes to London and Ange goes to Spain!

[tcmummy]

You should try it - I felt safe in the knowledge I could drink my cuppa in peace as she wouldn't be able to choke on it.

It's terrible when that happens. I must go to bed, see you in the morning, after that lie in I've been looking forward to all week

well that went well. Not. I'm now in spare room. Sad.

well that went well. Not. I'm now in spare room. Sad.

GMM

oh no missus. hope u r ok. x

i feel like he's only with me cop of c. I asked him if he was bored with me, he told me not to start. Cue tears and me sleeping in spare bed.

oh GMM, I'm sure that can't be true

oh no babe. r u sure he meant anything by it? was it not more a - dont be starting this kind of conversation in a general sense rather than he had things to say????

or a 'i'm a man and i want my sleep so i'll stop thinking and just say stuff that if i wasn't a man i'd realise was uncalled for' moment?

maybe he just wasnt in the mood for deep and meaningful conversations???

i wish i was so sure. He adores c but sometimes i feel like he just tolerates me. I'm not so high maintainence, just need a bit of affection and love now and again. It makes me so paranoid and sad, which pisses him off and makes things worse. I just want the 3 of us to be happy,

you will be GMM, just need to settle in to being 3 instead of 2

feel free to completely ignore me btw, being as I'm the single one so have no place spouting relationship advice

gmm - awful for you to feel down and paranoid. dont know what to advise but maybe you need to have a chat to reassure yourself in the warm light of day? that doesnt make it easier for you right now tho'.
a friend (male) recently told me that the 6 mths after their ds was born was the most difficult time of their realtionship. so much changes, has to shift and new priorities come to play etc that sometimes they forgot that the reason they had a child was each other. he said things changed and settled after 6mths. i hold onto that thought when i really cant be arsed with dp, and can only think of c.

xoxoooxoxoxoxo

ahhh, sod it, Commune by the sea anyone?

right. must go to bed.
night xx

night pillock [still doesnt feel right to be saying that!]

Morning all,

Enjoyed the nappy chat .

Dismal day here today but my folks are coming up & I have a large leg of lamb to roast to warm us up. Pity DH will be at work - yesterday he did a 12-10pm shift but didn't actually finish until 1am. Total pants.

FWIW we went through a really rough patch when dd was around this old and had to do a bit of DIY marriage counselling. I must say I always give a very hollow laugh if I hear of couples having a baby to help save a relationship!!!!

WO have emailed you.

Not weaning here yet, honestly I can't be *rsed so am going to leave it as long as possible!

What are you all up to today?

Don't you lot ever go to bed?

WO - know what you mean, I stuggled to feel like getting jiggy with dh at the moment, although I know he's always gagging for it. Sigh. Yes, commune by the sea does have its appeal.

GMM - sorry your dh is being an arse, hope things are better this morning.

Dippy - love the BLW pics!

Well, got up early (for me) and let dh have a lie-in. Em and I have had breakfast, S still asleep, bless. Off to gym shortly. Have got to loose this baby-wobble and dieting evidently isn't doing anything. Bollocks, I hate that my clothes still don't fit properly.

On the subject of relationship counselling, I think the not so DH and I are going to arrange some Things are not very happy in the west country house at the mo. I am not sure if it is me being a drama queen or whether it is the hormones from having a baby or whether I am having a mid-life crisis but I can't help but think "this cannot be it".

This is two messages cut and paste from a message to my friend so it may be a bit disjointed and there might be some missing punctuation where I have put smilies but you'll get the gist:

Basically, he goes to work at 7am to beat the traffic, comes hom at 7pm to miss the traffic. As soon as he gets in his cracks open the lager, he drinks too many pints and goes to bed without eating (he does eat lunch out most days). He gets up on a Sat/Sun and goes off mountain biking for a couple of hours. He won't go swimming because he does not like it but I can't take the 3 kids as you can only take 2 in to the public pool here. DS1 wants to go to karate with his Dad and I found a group that is for families/adult/kids beginners but he won't go because he does not want to. If anyone asks how the kids are he says "hard work" and he is basically he is being a complete C U Next Tuesday at the moment. 

I have put the house on the market with view to selling and using the equity to rent somewhere until Leo goes to school and I can get a job. I am also planning on buggering off for the half term with the kids and leaving him to think about things. 

I do actually care very much for him, he has not had good role models for parents (his Mum was an alcoholic who killed herself and his Dad was/is a miserly workaholic). I thought, pre-children, that he (like me) wanted to have a family and give his kids what he did not have (time) and what I did not have (two parents) but no. 

I am hoping that he will realise that he does in fact have lovely children and will stop seeing them as a chore and begin to enjoy them and will also cut back on the booze so I have some time. It seems I have married a selfish pig and I have reached a point where I cannot live like this. I would rather be a single parent than live with him. 

So, that is where I am at! Oh, and I am not that upset as it goes, I have been but I am actually pretty resigned to how the situation will turn out and think que se ra 

I have questioned how I feel soooooo many times, whether I am being a drama queen and whether it is the hormones (having just had a baby). But now it is not about me per se but about the children and I don't want them to wake up, like I have, and realise that not a day has gone by that their Dad has not come home and poured a pint before he picks them up, or reads them a story or tucks them into bed. I do things with the kids because it makes them happy (like swimming and gym and wot not) and if they are happy then I am happy, DH is only happy if he is doing what he wants regardless of what the kids get out of it. 

Sorry to go on, but I could go on and on and on about it 

I'm not sure of the best plan of action, I am of the opinion the best thing to do is to sell the house so I can be independant (having money in the bank), but obviously that will affect the kids when potentially they could be very vulnerable. I will work out all that out though 

We are going to my Mums for Xmas so even if we do serperate we will still go on that holiday, it will take a while to sell the house anyway, and so he has got the opportunity to take stock before then. I am aso going to arrange some relationship counselling between now and then as I want to make sure I have done everything I can to keep our family together if possible. 

Like I said, I do care for him very much. He has many, many good points and he is a very loyal and supportive person but those positive attributes are totally over shadowed by everything else 

Just what you want to hear on a Sunday morning!!!!! Hahahahah

Morning everyone,
Not a chance of being able to catch up so hope everyone is well! Our pc has been playing up so every time I've tried to catch up it's crashed

I did just read the top part of the thread - GMM, hope things are better for you today hon. I've had many similar moments with dh recently and it's awful. I'm clinging to the hope that things will get better...

No other news from me, L and I both have runny noses which is highly attractive - not!

Hugs
x

WCL, sounds like counselling is a good plan. I feel sorry for your DH and men like him in a way because they are just missing out on so much and one day they'll wake up, realise it and realise it's too late to do anything about it .

Is he depressed do you think & self medicating with the booze?

x-post WCL - . Doesn't sound like you're being a drama queen, hormonal or having a mid-life crisis, I hope things get better for you soon.

{{{{{WCL}}}}} {{{{{{GMM}}}}}}}

You guys are not alone - seems a lot of people are having relationship troubles atm - I know DH & I certainly are. Not going to start harping on cos this is about you, not about me - but want to know that you are not alone - Children have a massive affect on a relationship - sleep depravation for one - the demands of being a f/t mummy and daddy are huge for both of you. I am sorry you are going through this.

You know we are here!

Morning to all btw - need to dash in the shower and get ready before Church!!

Don't forget to take a peek at my BLW pics on my profile to make you !!!!

Laters. xx

Morning ladies

GMM, hope you are ok and are able to talk to dp today.

CD, I am not weaning per se; just thought I would see K's reaction to some baby rice. It wasn't positive!

WCL, I am so very sorry to hear of your relationship troubles. I hope you can sort something that makes everyone happy. xx

Pillock, that commune by the sea is sounding v tempting!

Nutty, how did dh take to the nappy and sling???????!!!!!!

Liath, enjoy your roast lunch - sounds yummy!

Well, I avoided sex again. I am dreadful. Poor dh was being affectionate all day and it was so obvious what he wanted. He just suggested we would have an early night tonight !

Our relationship was God awful after B was born, and we also had to do a bit of DIY counselling. We wrote down a list of things, such as show interest in each others' days; be respectful to each other; don't take each other for granted, have intimacy/affection etc, and we went through it at the end of the week as a follow up. Sounds mad and a bit business like, but it did help.

Hope everyone else is well and have had good nights.

I think we are going to West Wittering today as the weather is ok. See you later. xx