August/September 2019 babies - #3

[Stroan]

Just spotted we were about to finish the last thread....

I've got nothing either. Sorry Littlehouse. Hope DDad is feeling ok! If it helps, a cholecystectomy is a fairly routine surgery. Always worrying no matter what though I know. How is has DD been after her jabs? Hopefully sleeping soundly!

I wish I could say today was better, but it wasn't. Alice decided that it was party time at 11pm, and raved the night away until 3.30am... Neither of DH's or my tricks to get her to sleep worked, so she was sobbing unless she was being held. She's also loud enough that she can be heard from anywhere in the house. So even when we traded off, whoever wasn't holding Alice still couldn't get any sleep. I'm ashamed to say we got desperate enough to abandon her in her cot to cry it out for a short period. Her cough has also worsened, so nursery sent her home and won't let her back again without a negative Covid test. Fortunately we managed to get one earlier today, and hopefully we'll get a negative result before Monday.

Sleep is an absolute sh*tshow here, so thank you for all making me feel better about it. Sorry so many of us are having a nightmare.

He just won't self settle for us at all. I have never in his life been able to put him down in his cot. And by that, I mean that if he falls asleep in my arms, I can't put him in his cot at all. I'm allowed to slide away from him and leave him on the bed for DH to move into the cot, but I can't put him there myself...

We did a bit of shush-pat with the aim of doing gradual retreat if we could ever get him to lie down and not scream the house down. But DH got fed up of being screamed at and we've slid back into a routine of feeding to sleep. Now, that isn't even guaranteed to work and some nights (especially on nursery days) we resort to a 9pm drive up the motorway to get him to just give in.

DD was a dream compared to this. I remember we decided to stop cuddling her to sleep at about 11 months, so did gradual retreat for two nights and that was it.

I am very slowly losing my mind. I can just about handle the night waking, because I just doze off while he is feeding. I'd normally embrace the co-sleeping and tell myself that he WILL sleep eventually, but I get zero time to myself in the evenings and that has a knock on effect. I've just started a part time Masters degree. I'm 4 weeks behind due to some admin errors and genuinely don't see how I can get it done.

And here's the kicker - nursery say he goes to sleep really easily. Little troll.

I will add that he is the most happy, content and chilled out baby ALL the rest of the time. It gets commented on constantly. But none of those people have to put him to bed!

@Littlehouseinthebigcity hope your Dad is ok and you get a rest soon.

@dyra we're notching up the covid tests here too. It's awful, bloody nursery germs. DS had bronchiolitis last year and even the hint of a germ and he's coughing away whereas DD just gets a snotty cold.

So sorry for everyone struggling. We're joining the boat with sh*t weeks here too. Baby came down with the measles rash from her MMR and has been pretty grouchy and to top it off DH has got a temp and a cough. Very likely covid that he picked up from work as a lovely bloke there just tested positive and has been coughing up all over the place without even covering his mouth...

So here's to two weeks stuck indoors praying my elderly parents haven't caught it off us!!

Oh dear sorry to hear about everyone.

The sleep thing is similar for us but I was putting it down to illness. Is there a sleep regression at this age? Arthur actually slept well two nights ago and I was so happy hour then last night o think he woke half hourly and cried with eyes closed. Even after massive feeds when he's usually conked out he was still crying so I think something is still up.

Well done you @Stroan for doing a masters! I'm sure you'll be great and manage to catch up somehow. Re sleep this is still pretty much what we do. Months and months ago we used the gentle baby sleep routine thingy and it was working until one night DH held him to sleep again and that was basically it...all sleep training back out the window and ever since he had to be held and sung to. But nursery say they just put him in a coricle and rub his bum and he sleeps....so why are we subjected to tears and tantrums. He even cries as we walk towards his bedroom..argh i feel like we're ruining him.

@db92 how do you get baby back to sleep of no night feeding?! Arthur just gets more and more worked up without it so I have to feed :(

I think it was probably easy for us to wean in the night has he was bottle fed. But we just started offering water instead of milk for a drink and out his dummy in rather than offering a bottle. We had not tears and he didn't seem bothered about it bed time bottle at all. He would just have a little water and a cuddle and go back off. Because he's never slept through I wasn't concerned that he wasn't sleeping because he was hungry. The bottles in the night were definitely just a habit to break x

Oh no @drumst1ck! I bet DH's colleague is going to be a pariah once he returns to work. Especially if he's infected more people. I hope DH's test comes back negative.

I believe there is a huge sleep regression around this age, so it stands to reason they're all sleeping badly atm.

I'm feeling like the worst parent in the world. I lost it at Alice last night. She was sound asleep on me, but woke up crying when I put her in her cot. I had to walk out on her as I was about to have (yet another) break down. However, the second I was out of sight, she escalated her crying to screaming. Something inside just snapped. I marched back into her room and screamed "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!". Alice was so shocked she immediately stopped crying. I must've scared her so badly, she didn't even reach up to me when I went to pick her up for apology cuddles. She fed back to sleep, I managed to get her back in her cot without incident, and we got a few more hours sleep.

I really don't know why sleep deprivation is hitting me so hard all of a sudden. It's not like I can count the number of decent night's sleep since the end of the first trimester on one hand. I should be more than used to it. But recently, I'm incredibly angry and resentful whenever I'm woken up. I turn into such a mean, bitter, unpleasant, horrible person, that Alice must be able to sense it, no matter how much I try to hide it from her.

Ohh @Dyra you are most definitely not the worst parent in the world. We all have those moments, I've had them a few times so I must be dreadful as well! Alice is fed, warm, safe and loved which means you are doing an incredible job!

Positive covid test result from DH today and I got tested today as came down with temp and cough. So far it hasn't been too bad for either of us thankfully, we have had colds worse!

Crossing fingers for better sleeps for everyone tonight!

Sorry to hear everyone been having a crap time. How's the covid situation in your house @drumst1ck? I hope you're all ok.

@dyra. You're not the worst parent. I am!! I'm so over losing sleep. I too am like a monster when woken at night now. I have nothing left to give. Nate won't sleep in the day either little bugger. 45 minutes he'll have a day but his eyes are hanging out his head as he's so tired. I cannot get him to have a second sleep and for the first nap never goes past 45 minutes. He also has another cold. Effing daycare germs. I'm just drained at the moment. He also screams when I put him in the bath now as he's had a sore bum so now freaks if I put him anywhere near the bath. Give me strength!

How's everyone else faring?

On a lighter note, I can hear him farting in his sleep, lol

Hey @Geegrl19 , I hope Nate gets over his cold soon bless him. We're the same with nursery germs. He's had a cold for 8 weeks. He'll go to nursery on a Friday, be snotty but Saturday, fine by Thursday then is starts again. It's getting so frequent there have been a few arguments with DP wanting to pull him out altogether (which just isn't an option with childcare/ work).

Still no sleep here so I feel the pain about feeling awful and grumpy all the time. We'd have like to have started trying for another by now but honestly, I'm so drained I don't think I can add another human being relying solely on me into the mix. I really thought we'd have consistent sleep by now. Was I being naive? Because every other parent I know with children of similar ages have babies sleeping like angels. Are they lying or do I have the devil child?

Me and DH both tested positive, although only on second test for me, first came back negative but test and trace told me to get another!

DH seems to be over the worst of it now so is on childcare while I'm hauled up in bed. Lots of headaches, fever, nausea and general head cold type symptoms as well. So far baby hasn't been affected though which is nice! Isolation ends on Sunday and I'm due at the midwife on Monday for 16 week check up. Feel a bit nervous about going so soon after having covid, would you guys rearrange or just crack on?

@Geegrl19 we had that with naps and ended up moving her to one nap. Although it seems counter productive, she actually slept so much better for one than the rubbish 2 she was getting before. It took probably a week or so for her to adjust during which she was very tired but she seems used to it now and will consistently sleep 12-2, sometimes longer if she needs it. Bed is half 6 now instead of 7 as she needs the extra half an hour at the moment!

Thanks everyone. It's so hard these bloody regressions. I think we're out the other side now, but that was 3 or so weeks of hell. I'm much less angry and tired now at least. The rest of my NCT group (Alice is oldest by 2 weeks) are starting to go through it now. I hope it goes by quickly for them, and for everyone here too!

@Geegtl19 I completely concur with @drumst1ck. Exactly the same happened with Alice. Crappy morning napping, and consistently refusing the afternoon nap. Once I stopped the morning nap, she slept much longer (and deeper!) at the earlier afternoon nap. It was definitely the right thing to do. Hope Nate gets over his cold quickly.

I know what you mean @db92. Everyone I've talked to says their baby was sleeping through from about 9 months, if not earlier. Then there's me, who has had exactly one unbroken night's sleep since the first trimester. We're on the unfortunate side of the average, and it's taking our babies a bit longer to sleep through. But they will eventually. Hopefully you'll be out of the regression soon, and DS will run out of nursery germs to pick up.

@drumst1ck That sounds crap. I hope you feel much better soon. Will your DH puts in a formal complaint about his colleague he caught Covid from? It was a seriously irresponsible thing he did, and I hope he's lucky enough that nothing serious happens to someone else as a result.

Regarding your midwife, I think you should give her a call to give her a heads up. She might need/want to be wearing some stronger PPE to see you. I'm pretty sure you only need to isolate for 10 days from when your symptoms started, so as long as your appointment is after the isolation period ends, you'll be fine.

@Dyra he's actually job hunting, the whole workplace there is really toxic, no respect for their employees. For most of them, work is life so they don't seem to care about anything else other, even covid!

I'll see if I can get in touch with the midwife then, it's been very difficult to reach them recently. They all seem to be in different offices due to covid and every time I get given 5 different numbers before I get the right person 🙄

Sorry everyone's sleep is so rubbish. I honestly think loads of people lie/twist the truth when talking about babies sleep!!

@db92 I feel how your husband does in irrational moments but no way he could come out of childcare. It's a great centre, but it's been he'll since he started there back in February.

@drumst1ck glad to hear you're coming out the other side. Scary too. I second giving the midwife a heads up, that's if you can get through to them. Is so hard trying to reach people these days isn't it.

Nate only has the one sleep at daycare now and will sleep for them for nearly two hours. I'll try to put him down later in the morning so he's more tired and see how he goes.

Re the overall sleep. My girls were never like this - I would've remembered that! The worst one of the two roughly slept through by ten months. They did wake at night, but would both quickly go back off. Then again neither were in childcare and constantly sick.

@drumst1ck oh no! Hope you're feeling much better and the check up goes well.

I'm kind of relieved others are also struggling with sleep. DS2 is a nutter at night. He thinks it's 'party time'. I'm losing the plot.
He wakes at 4amand then messes about in his cot and complains and just doesn't even seem tired. Then at 6am he goes back to sleep.
Im at a loss. DS1 didn't do this and I'm so tired of it.
Weirdly he sleeps ok during the day. Meh!

Thanks @iano! Still both got extreme fatigue so DH is signed off work for another week, he cycles in 10 miles each way and at the moment still gets breathless walking up the stairs. Kind of worrying when he's fit, healthy and in his 20's!
Managed to get in touch with midwives and as long as I haven't had a temp for 48 hours I'm fine to go for my checkup once isolation is over.

Aah I hate when they mess around and don't seem tired. They also always seem to be at their cutest when you're most desperate for them to sleep but instead all they want to do is laugh at pulling your nose...

In a weird way I'm reassured so many of us are having bad sleep! Dd1 was so different I definitely feel a bit lost!

Oh wow @drumst1ck it sounds like he got it quite badly. Hope he's back on the mend soon.

First day out of isolation and it's lovely!! Last week ended well when 111 decided they needed to send an ambulance out to me as my breathing wasn't the best. Bit of overkill on their part (I had phoned for advice not an ambulance...) but I got a full MOT from a lovely paramedic who I was very apologetic to! Still very low energy levels, in bed for naps about two or three times a day so DH is on childcare duty most of the day. He's doing a lot better though now which is good.

Hope everyone's sleep is getting better!

Glad you're all doing ok @drumst1ck. I imagine having 111 send out an ambulance was a bit of a scare, but better they were safe than sorry. Did you have your midwife appointment today, or was it rescheduled?

And no. No our sleep has gotten bad again. 😫 We're having bathroom renovations which meant Alice has had to move out of her room. We think she's having a bit of a fright when she wakes up in a different room. That or teething. Or this is just what she's like. I'm losing 2+ hours of sleep per night at least.

Still having terrible sleep here too. Periods of him being awake for up to 3 hours at a time just not going back down. Sometimes he's very upset so we've given calpol for his teeth. Other nights like last night he was just wide awake chatting. Problem is he screams if you leave him alone awake so we end up having to sit there with him trying to shhh and pay him back to sleep.

I think we're just going to go ahead and get a single bed in his room. Atleast that way we'll be comfortable and not on the floor. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting quite short with people trying to offer advice now. I feel like we've tried everything except consistently letting him cry it out which neither of us are particularly willing to try

@drumst1ck how are you all feeling now?

How's everyone's sleep going? Had a great night two nights ago then last night he was a little 💩 and I had to go to work. Ugh 🙄

It's always the night before you have to go to work they act up..... We had a great night last night. I had two blocks of 5.5 hours solid sleep.

Tonight..... JFC.... Alice was awake between 9.30 and 11.30. Then some utter wankstain decided to throw part of a planter at my kitchen window at about half midnight. Eventually managed to fall asleep some time after 2. Woke up to Alice shouting just after 3. First attempt of getting her back in her cot was unsuccessful, so here I am.... 4 am under a sleeping baby on next to no sleep. Again.

Fucking hell she's awake again. I felt almost human yesterday. Oh well. Thank fuck for CBeebies.

Oh @Dyra, you poor thing. It's debilitating isn't it. What the hell was that f*ckwit doing throwing things at your window. That's outrageous.

Hopefully you'll be able to get some rest in today. Always shits me how they can sleep so well one night and then the next it's crap again.