August/September 2019 babies - #3

[Stroan]

Just spotted we were about to finish the last thread....

@Dyra I can totally see why you'd have worries because of your experiences which feed into your perceptions. 999 other people wouldn't give where Alice is at with speaking a second thought but obviously with your experience you are more aware. As you say, children with autism can literally just regress one day after following all the usual developmental milestones, so as difficult as it is honestly please try to relax and not google. In a funny way you're not trying too hard to help her speak? Can she get a word in? I don't mean that awfully at all, but for example I think my mum is guilty of doing too much for my DS - my thinking is he'll never learn if we do it for him all the time. Anecdotally you see it all the time with second children, they just don't need to talk as the older one does it for them! I also know a couple of children having speech and language therapy around the 3 year old mark I think, but neither of them have autism to my knowledge, they just needed a bit of an extra helping hand in that department. Please don't worry, but I know it's far easier said than done x

@Dyra I can totally see why you're worried with your family history, but remember that because of that you will be so much more on the lookout for autism markers. All babies develop at such different rates, Catherine is babbling but she still has never rolled, shows no interest in trying to pull up, crawl or stand, so she'll probably flunk the gross motor part of the questionnaire! But my eldest was the same. I can understand why you're looking out for things but I think (and it's easier said than done!) that you need to just give her a bit more time and see where she gets in her own time.
And as an EY teacher I've also worked with many kids who've needed a bit of support/speech therapy, most of whom did not have autism! Hope that's vaguely reassuring xx

Dyra i also completely understand your concerns. I too work in early years and have worked with lots of children having SALT support and also those with varying levels of autism. Having a child with any disability can really take its toll on a family and i don't think anyone would consider you not wanting more children should Alice actually be autistic to be selfish.

One thing i will say is babies and children pick up a lot from other children, as Alice has had limited contact with other babies/children this could be partly why she isn't as babbly as the other baby.

My eldest child wasn't much of a talker early on although didn't need any SALT support. Dc2 was the complete opposite i suspect as he had his elder sibling to learn from.

Dc5 babbles a lot. But he has older siblings to learn from. He can also now run

Yes to what @THATscurryfungeBITCH said re learning from other children - since DS has been at nursery he's coming up with a new trick daily.

Also, my Alexa tells me today that animal noises have been shown to help babies develop babbling.... some strange coincidence that that has come up on the screen this morning but whatever works - maybe try playing some jungle sounds?!

Thank you guys for making me feel a whole lot better. I'm normally a lot more patient with things in the real world! Promise! Just wish I had a crystal ball to look into the future, so I know everything will be ok.

Funny you say that about older children speaking for their siblings. This was very true for my younger brother. My sister and I would do all the talking for him, and he was happy to let us. He didn't speak a word until he was 2. TBF, he's still pretty quiet 28 years later.

That is very true about the learning from other children. Up until baby groups were cancelled, Alice was definitely picking up all sorts of skills. Hopefully they'll come back before October and she goes to nursery. So crap this lockdown has come at such a formative time for our LOs. But then I don't exactly think this pandemic has come at an ideal time for anyone.

I didn't know about animal noises helping babbling. I will try that out tomorrow. I normally put on music during the day, and try to narrate what I'm doing. I'm not the best at remembering to talk, but when I do, I do give her opportunity to speak. She just seems to have nothing she wants to say back. Recently I've tried putting on CBeebies to see if that helps (she's a huge fan of Hey Duggee and Mr Tumble).

Wow at DECAF5! He's one smart cookie. I bet the day after you fill in the questionnaire, Catherine will just get off the floor and walk.

@dyra is Mr tumble still around? Couldn't stand him when the girls were younger, lol. Baby jake, playschool and the wiggles really grate too! Muppet babies is the best. Love the theme tune and know all the Words.

Is hard being patient though especially when dr Google puts you into panic mode about every little thing. They all develop in their own way and excel in some areas over others.

This is a good one though, top comment from the mil the other day 'oooh well he's not showing any signs of not developing properly given the age of his parents' FFS, what's that supposed to mean!! Grrr

Omg mr tumble

None of mine have watched him

I could happily smother that man

@THATscurryfungeBITCH hahahahaha along with the wiggles please. Oh and we have this stupid Jimmy giggle character and a screechy owl here. So painful!

I do always find it a bit weird when men like Mr Tumble take an interest in kids and have a job like that.
I just look at him and think "what are you doing, man?!"

Glad you're feeling more reassured @Dyra. Everything is a worry and especially so if there's a history in the family.
Arthur has inherited something from DH side and I'm really sad about that. Will mean a lifetime taking medication daily basically from being a teenager. Takes a toll on your body, DH's dad had to have most of his liver removed due to the harshness of the medication. Luckily dh doesn't need such a high dose so I am hoping Arthur is even less. But still. I cried when we found out. Had to have him tested genetically to know.

And yy baby Jake is shit! I like Ra Ra the noisy lion :)

Really sorry to hear that @horehound. Like you say hopefully it's something that can be managed with a relatively low dose like DH.

Hope you're feeling okay Dyra.

Can I ask about bottles of formula. Bottle fed babies.... how many bottles are you giving a day? We're still on 4 though he's not finishing the two middles ones but still have a food 5/6 oz of each. Had a comment yesterday that he should be down to 2, 3 at most.

@db92 I don't think there's such thing as too much milk at this age. I have the opposite problem, the only milk I can guarantee to get in him is morning one where he'll take maybe 5oz. I'm lucky if he'll take another 2oz before bed. He has a really varied diet and has thrived on food in a way he didn't bf or ff so I'm ok with it, but am subsidising with a baby vitamin to be on the safe side. If it's working then I don't see why you would force dropping a bottle.

So sorry to hear about your ds' condition @Horehound as you say, hopefully it's a really mild case. It must have been really hard to find out about though even so, it's awful to think of anything that may hurt our little babes.

@Horehound sorry to hear that. Hopefully it is a mild case not requiring much medication.

@db92 not bottles, although he does have bottles at daycare, but Nate has about 4-5 feeds per day. Always one in the night, upon waking, late morning, late afternoon and then bed. The daytime ones at daycare are bottles of 5oz. Obviously I've no idea of quantity when he feeds from me. I've kept more stringent with the daytime ones as he doesn't really drink much water during the day although he does have a good quantity of food. I might replace the late afternoon one with a snack around 11 months and see how that goes.

We are still on three 9-10 oz bottles a day 🐷

So sorry to hear that about Arthur @Horehound. Hopefully it's a milder case than his Dad's, and a less harsh treatment will be found before he starts taking it.

Oh thanks everyone. Yes, fingers crossed it's milder. Time will tell I guess. I had really built up in my mind he wasn't going to have it and that my genes would have prevailed in that area, but alas, no. I think because I don't have it and my husband is quite blasé about it that it's difficult for me to understand what it feels like, how painful it is etc. I just feel guilty he has it and it wasn't even from me. But symptoms will start in a few years and I think at that point I will feel horrendous about it. I'll just need to be there for him

@db92 we aren't bottle feeding but Arthur feeds about five to seven times a day. I feel like they can't have too much. If they want it, they want it :)

@Horehound how is Arthur's pooping now?

@Geegrl19 not bad! He goes every two or three days and he does it standing up. I've figured out if I out him in his playpen and out a nursery rhyme show on TV and leave him to it, k come back after ten mins he has done one. Weird!
Yesterday am was the first time ever he'd done one by the time I went to get him in the morning. But it's all really quite soft now so think I need to bulk the food out but he does eat pasta etx so not sure why it's so soft. I wondered now it's maybe hard to poop a really soft poo. 🤔

Nappy's have gone quite soft here again. I've started leaving his water cup on the floor when we are playing and he is very good at picking it up for a few sips frequently so I'm putting the softer nappies down to being really well hydrated.

Thanks for all the bottle talk! I'll let him be the one to decide when he's ready to drop a bottle.

We never went on to stage 2 milk as we went from CMPA formula to regular at 5 months so were advised not to change again and risk upsetting his tummy. Those who do use formula, what's your plans when you hit the year? Stage 3 or cows milk? First baby here so I have absolutely no idea

DS is so unimpressed by bottles I think we're just going to go the whole hog - cows milk and sippy cup. I don't think he'll end up drinking less that he does now so 🤷‍♀️

Arthur only drinks from sippy cups or me.
I am worried about putting him to nursery with no boob lol so if he's one from when he starts nursery can I just put him there with cows milk?

My granny laughed when I said they aren't to get cow's milk yet. And she said "I don't know how mine survived then"

We will go to cows milk around first birthday

Your nursery may not be happy to give cows milk if before one horehound

Sorry just saw you say he will be one lol

Check if you need to provide your own but should be no issue him having it

Ditto with going down the cows milk and sippy cup route. Pretty positive nursery supplies milk, so won't be worrying about that. If/how she's going to nap.... That I'm concerned about. But I'll be at work, so it'll be DH's problem if whenshe's over tired.

We've also got soft nappies again here. I wonder if it was just the heat causing them all to 'firm' up. Alice's are on and off watery, but she's teething atm, and gummed half the playground the other day, so almost to be expected....

Glad to hear Arthur has a system @Horehound!

Napping + nursery = not happening at the moment 🙄 on a good day he gets 2 x 30 minutes... plus a car snooze on the way home. He just about then manages to hold out until 6:30/7pm bedtime but can often wake more in the night than if he naps properly. I'm hoping he gets there in the end, and as it's not every day he does seem to be coping on it.