August/September 2019 babies - #3

[Stroan]

Just spotted we were about to finish the last thread....

I'll let the fb group know you're selling a stash as I think quite a few are cloth bums. Good on you for giving it a go. I'm so slack at getting around to the washing I'd have needed 1,000!!

@Horehound How much would you be looking for for the bumgenius? X

Sorry it’s not worked out for you @Horehound - you seem to have had a bad experience start to finish with all things baby so far! Hopefully the good outweighs the bad though.

I use different nappies and happy with mine, but best place to sell is The Nappy Lady facebook page. You can often get close to new price on popular ones. Elementals sell well especially it seems.

Hey yep I have now posted on the nappy lady buying and selling group and the elementals have now gone ..sorry @Littlehouseinthebigcity

@Megan2018 oh I know it does sound like I've found everything difficult. Blooming labour was hell then the difficulty breastfeeding, reflux and wind, Nappies don't fit him, constipation, etc but generally it is all good. He's usually good with eating, he's always happy and very smiley and has good sense of humour so far! So I know I moan a lot on here and I sound incapable but the reality is different than the picture painted in snapshots when I'm moaning on Mumsnet!
He sleeps in his own room and reasonably well if there's nothing wrong, likewise he eats fine if there's nothing wrong, he managed to bf in the end, he's just long and thin so the nappies just aren't tight enough round the legs, If I make them smaller they aren't long enough to cover him properly!
I have hard days and i have amazing days..i think that's quite normal and even selling these nappies I've had other mums tell me they've found lots of things hard too so I don't think I'm an odd one out really I think a lot of people seem to think they shouldn't admit that sometimes it's hard and shit, exhausting and thankless. I feel it would be better if people were more honest. And great if others don't come across any hardship at all but I expect they are the minority!

He is a great wee boy and he's thriving really. :)

Anyone planning their next?! We are thinking about it but then I have a crappy night sleep and say one is enough

I don’t think you sound incapable at all @Horehound -you’ve just had a harder time all round which is a shame but still kept positive! But it’s definitely good to be honest and to share! It’s definitely not all roses!
I have sort of had the opposite experience- I put off having a baby because I thought it would all be horrible from pregnancy through to 18 and so far it’s all been better than my anxious overthinking negative brain expected. But we do have bad days too. I had a cry yesterday as I am just so mentally drained as Felicity is with me all day and night and I sometimes just don’t feel good enough and I’m letting her down.

Hope the nappies sell quickly for you. I have 4 types, 3 fit really well and 1 type has been hopeless until Felicity suddenly managed to grow in to them last week. If I had more like those I’d have definitely given up.

Onwards and upwards

I’d love another but we are too poor to have 2 in nursery and too old to wait. So one and done here.

Aw yeh I have had days like that too. Hope you feel better today! It's just such a massive change to your life. Well, life as we knew it is gone forever!
See I was conflicted with the nappies thinking maybe he will grow into them. My husband hated them initially and then I got him onboard but we didn't have enough to do 100% of the time which was a mistake. Then when I bought more and he was committed the nappies just didn't work for us. I think I should have started with all in two's rather than all in ones but I chose them knowing my husband wouldn't be bothered with two pieces! And now the velcro rubs on Arthur's tummy and the fit is too loose at the leg that they're now just not worth the time, cost, rubbing, concern etc!
I do think will they contain the poop better but I don't know yet cause since he's weaning he has never pooped in a disposable yet. I'm holding onto my pocket nappies which are my favourite which will be my fall back if the disposables don't contain but I think I've wasted so much money on reusables i don't even want to think about them for a while!

So many friends of mine are just sticking to one. Im so torn but I do think it'd be nice for Arthur to have a play mate but then I feel exhausted, sore and tired already I'm not sure I can do it again!

No worries @Horehound , glad they sold! I probably have enough nappies anyway to be honest, I just love the fit of BumGenius nappies! But DD2 is a right little chunk!
I think we're probably done with 2. I would love more but it would involve moving house and getting a new car so would be a lot more drastic than the move from 1 to 2 was for us! We'd wait a bit anyway so that DD2 would qualify for her free hours if another baby was starting nursery (DD1 will qualify in August) so no rush on a decision.

I've just found out I'm back at work next week! I'm a teacher so will be in school, leaving the girls with DH while he works from home. Slightly terrified at the thought of leaving my clingy little lock down baby!

You do not sound incapable at all horehound. Having a baby isn't all sunshine and roses and you're just being honest about your experiences with certain things -and asking for advice when you need it. There's nothing wrong with that at all ☺️

We're thinking about number 2, will maybe start trying in a few months. Like you though we have a bad night and it puts us right off.... and our bad nights seem to outweigh the good ones at the moment.

I'm trying for number 2 have been since MMC in feb but took while April for bleeding to stop and cycles to get back to some kind of normality as medical management didn't initially work which was a bit of a nightmare.
On my 3rd cycle now seems like it's never going to happen but I am beginning to think a bigger age gap will be better, Ruby is suddenly into everything so I think 18 month - 2 years would be perfect just need to catch on now x

@Horehound If you're incapable, then I'm downright incompetent. This baby raising lark is hard and I suspect I've actually got quite an easy one. It's also not helping that there's nowhere to take her, and I'm feeling trapped in my own personal groundhog day.

I definitely want a second. Hell, I'd love a third if finances permit! But then I'm very broody atm. A friend of mine is due the day before Alice's birthday. Seeing her and remembering how I was at pretty much the same stage just last year.....

However, I'm sticking to my guns atm, with the plan to start trying after Alice turns two. There is a worry at the back of my mind though that we'll struggle like we did to conceive Alice. I'll be 35 by then, so the clock will be really be ticking. We'll see how I feel at 12, 15 and 18 months.

Sorry to hear about the further troubles you had with your MMC @Dipsy77. Fingers crossed you see your BFP soon.

@Horehound don't worry, this place is all about the vent and moan, it certainly is for me anyway!!

My thoughts on a second are the same @Dyra I'd like a little more alone time with DS first and for finances etc. But I also worry about conceiving again as i didn't really think it would happen last time, it took nearly a year. I worry that I couldn't love another as much as I love DS - but obviously I would!!

Well I conceived at 40 and was 41 at birth (DH was 46) so I don’t think anyone younger than that needs to worry too much!

I’m 42 now but couldn’t afford a second until I was 43/44 which I think is just too risky as DH would be 48/49. I do still feel broody but it is what it is.

@kyles101 a year to conceive is nothing to worry about!

3 years, Metformin, thyroxine, and a dose of Clomid is what it took to get Alice. Stupid, poorly functioning ovaries. Periods haven't returned yet, but hopefully it's just breastfeeding keeping them at bay, rather than the PCOS. My main hope is that my Mum struggled to conceive me (I was found at a fertility appointment), and then went on to have 4 more without difficulty.

2020 can still sod off first.

Hey @Horehound I'm the queen of moaning I think. You're doing great. Especially as he's your first. Nothing prepares you for that!

Anyone else back to work/heading back to work? I'll only be doing one day a week in school initially but she still feeds to sleep for her naps so not sure how that one day will look for DH!!

Aw thanks everyone. I love this thread :)
Me and my brother have a gap of 1.5 years and we fought like cats and dogs when we were younger but we are pretty close now!
My husband and his sister have 7 years between them and aren't close at all so I wouldn't want to wait so long. I'm 33 anyway so I'd be at least 34 if I have another but more likely be 35/36.
I dont have periods yet I guess because I'm still feeding through day and night!

@Littlehouseinthebigcity I'm sure she will just know when you aren't there. Babies definitely know how to play us
Fingers crossed all goes ok. I'm not sure I'm even going to have a job to go to! I think I find out my scoring this week then it goes to individual consultations. In my heart I think I'll be ok but you just never know!

@dyra that sounds so hard. I have my fingers crossed for you it won't take all that to conceive again when you're ready

@Dipsy77
Fingers crossed for you too :)

@Horehound I'm with you on wishing people were more honest! Half the time all I see is Instagram posts about loving motherhood all day and I'm sat there with a screaming, teething baby and vom on my top 😆

But I love her so much we are also contemplating number 2. But will probably wait a while until 1/18 months before we start trying again I think, I'd like to not have to bother with a double buggy if possible!

@Littlehouseinthebigcity I'm sure they'll be fine. They'll work out their own ways of doing things. Some of them may even be better than the ones we have! He might not get much work done though. What year do you teach? Would they notice if you had your mobile out on the desk to receive updates? 😛

@Horehound Thanks. ❤️ Keeping everything crossed your scoring is great and your consultation goes well.

Thank you @dyra

Happy to report I am "provisionally safe". Can't say for certain until the people who aren't safe have appealed etc.

Yay

@Dyra I'll be with the keyworker/vulnerable bubble in a primary school but pretty strict rules on phones. Will have to take lots of loo breaks 😂
@Horehound good news! Well done ☺️
I've actually bought a few bottles of formula in case she'll take that from him. Never done combi feeding before but hate pumping! DD1 was 1 and down to a morning and night feed when I went back to work so wasn't a problem!

@Littlehouseinthebigcity I'm easing back in week after next, but working from home, so not the same. I've gone back (out!) at this point with the older two though, and they all have only napped with me by feeding to sleep, but their dad just pops them in the sling or buggy and they have all gone out like lights! When I've travelled for work he's been able to put them down in the cot, but if I'm in the house only milk will do... None have ever taken a bottle, and I breastfed the older two to 2.5-3 years. They've just eaten food with DP, and sometimes drank a little water. And been totally fine. But yeah, can't see him getting much work done... my DP and I have always split the childcare, both freelance, and EVERY TIME he forgets to book in less work when I stop being on mat leave. I'm expecting a lot of time crunch stress from him over the next couple of months...
Re age gaps- mine have 3 years and 3 months between each pair, and they play so well, it's brilliant. It really works for us. And DC1 took 18 months to conceive (I was 31-32), DC2 3 months of barely trying (I was 35) and DC3 was errr lucky first time (at 38-39). So don't count on the old declining fertility...
I'm done at three, although feel very wistful about not having any more babies ever again. They are so gorgeous and addictive...

Anyone else having trouble brushing teeth? She screams and fights whenever I attempt it!

@yevans
Teeth brushing is challenging, we do ours together as she likes to copy. I give her the brush which she happily puts in her mouth and plays with whilst I do mine. She thinks it’s hilarious.
At the end I then try to actually brush her 2 teeth, she hates it but if I make contact with them even for a nanosecond I make a huge fuss of her (she loves an animated “yay! Well done”). It’s a work in progress!