August/ September 2019 babies #2

[kyles101]

Thread number 2 for our August / September 2019 due date babies.

DS is having a regression on nighttime sleep since moving over to combi - seems to want to wale at 1am whereas before would always go through until 3am...

Also he's been waking four or five times in the night when before it was one maybe two.

It seems like he's teething but it's being going on for weeks with nothing to show? I don't get it.

Oh @horehound I so feel your pain. I feel like I've spent my whole mat leave trying to get Nate to nap, it's been draining. He is also hideous at night now. 3 hours to go back to sleep last night. He's just woken now so guessing I'm not sleeping till 2am. It is farked. I have nothing to even suggest. My patience is extremely thin to say the least and then I spend the day feeling guilty as I was so impatient during the night. Sending hugs your way, you're not alone, not that that helps anything

Uft three hours! I feel for you too @geegrl19

I had to get my husband to take over. He's off with a cold so he went up. Took him 20 mins with some tears too. I suggested we try cry it out/Ferber method but he isn't keen. I'm like well maybe you'd change your mind if you had to do this every day! I too feel guilty about losing patience :(
He did say he could hear Arthur's tummy doing summer saults.
He hasn't done a poo yet today which isn't normal.im just really not sure what's up with him.

You poor things @Horehound ! The evidence isn't great around cry it out, but you need to do what's right for you all! No point getting so knackered you crash the car.
What happens if you don't even try with naps, and just let him conk out by himself at some point (eg when you are going somewhere in the pushchair, or on the boob at some point in the day)? I've never got anywhere with planned naps in cots, but I've never tried very hard either, to be fair.

@DustyDoorframes oh I was just talking to my cousin who just did it and she said she did a lot of reading and it's actually fine?

He does nod off in the car or pram just fine but I'm not out every day and he does need naps. Sleeps feeds sleep so I'm just wanting to make sure he sleeps at night!

Thats him awake

@Horehound it's such a contentious issue, it's very hard to find neutral sources (although I think you will struggle to find much support for actual Ferber methods, ie close the door and let them scream indefinitely, or much on babies under 6 months).
This is a fairly neutral roundup of recent-ish evidence:
www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/15/730339536/sleep-training-truths-what-science-can-and-cant-tell-us-about-crying-it-out?t=1580391666519
Here is the La Leche League's position, which as you can imagine is not keen, but addresses the evidence available, if somewhat preachily:
www.laleche.org.uk/letting-babies-cry-facts-behind-studies/

But every family has its own balance of needs, so what can be beyond the pale in one household can be lifesaving in another!

Sorry you're having such a tough time @Horehound ! Just wondering from other bottle feeders how much baby tends to take at each feed? Have finally managed to get Catherine to take a bottle (MAM) of ebf reliably but I'm trying to work out how much I should leave if I wanted an evening out!

Arthur still not pooped today which is not normal but we hear huge gurgling noises . Not sure what's going on

Thanks @DustyDoorframes will check that out
Thanks @Littlehouseinthebigcity

Take cover @Horehound , sounds like when it comes it's going to be mahoosive!!!

@horehound sounds really, really tough. Regardless of the research around CIO, it's bloody hard to do. I lasted 10 minutes of the gradual retreat method when DD was about 8 months. Good luck with whatever you decide.

A Mum from the Facebook group I joined with DD is now a trained sleep consultant. She has some tips on her Instagram, might be worth a look instagram.com/keytosleep_?igshid=17fqv5p75pm7f

Thanks @stroan will check that Instagram out.
Yes, I don't think I'd go cold turkey in Arthur...no way could I manage that but my cousin said she did the "go back after 3mins, 5 mins etc" and it worked really well.

Hmm not sure.i am in two minds because he is still little and probably does just want cuddles but I also don't want him relying on me to walk him to sleep every day until he's 3!

Oh @Horehound that sounds really, really tough. Ultimately you have to do what works for you and your family. It is such a tough time at this age - there is so much going on developmentally and with teething etc I find that teething seems to just go on and on with nothing appearing and then when you've almost forgotten about it up they pop.

I try and get out and about everyday, even if it's just for a walk , I found with DD particularly I became so frustrated (and borderline obsessive) about naps that this helped keep me sane(ish). Be kind to yourself x

Hard as it is @Horehound it sounds like he is just being a normal baby. I don’t think anything is wrong, he’s just little.
Do you think you are ok? You have sounded like it has all got a bit much all round-might it be worth having a chat with HV/GP about how you are feeling. I don’t mean that to come across the wrong way but friend of mine developed PND when her baby was 6 months but didn’t realise it as she thought it was only something that happened early on. You’ve had such a tough time from birth onwards that maybe you need some support?

Ok good news is he has pooped...it is very mucousy though. This could tie in with him being extra drooly or it could be because recently ive pumped small amounts of milk for him and he seemed to enjoy chewing in the bottle for his gums whilst getting little tastes of milk but this has led to super huge boobs so I wonder if he isn't getting enough hindmilk. There were no seeds at all and actually haven't been for a few days.

Yes, @happydays00 I do think getting out makes a huge difference. We had gone down to one car which meant I was stranded in the village but last week I just bought a wee runaround so I can actually take Arthur places and to visit folk. There's only so many laps of the village I can do with the pram before it became old news. So it's been much better being able to get out but the weather where I am has been shit recently so haven't ventured out.

@Meghan2018 yeh I have wondered myself but I am generally happy. I think I just come here to sound off to it does seem like I'm a depressed frazzled mum!
Im just really tired I guess. We do have loads of fun and stuff.
I'm just confused and worried because recently he has been so grouchy and this is a total personality change for him. He's always pretty smiley and calm but now he just cries and cries and I'm sure it's something to do with his teeth. He was sleeping 12 hours with a couple of feeds in the night and going straight down but now it takes ages to get him to do any sleep and in the night he now wakes 5 or 6 times and I don't know why.

Oh yeh I did also notice a wee white nodule on his bottom gum near where the incisor should come in. I think it's a Epstein pearl but on reading it says those should disappear a couple weeks after they are born. I don't think he had it up until now. Doesn't seem to bother him though and I assume it will just wear away when he's got his teething toys.

@Horehound sending happy, sleepy baby thoughts! Indie had a few days last week where she was just super grizzly and nothing helped, she's a bit more herself again now but her sleeps still buggered. It makes everything feel worse! She's gone from 10-11 hours sleep and 4 naps to waking regularly between 1 &4, eventually coming with us. She's struggling with self settling this week too. I'm putting it down to whatever growth spurt/ leap is making her throw her head from side to side and frantically wave her arms when she's drifting off. Hopefully it's a short lived one!

Hehe thanks @knobjockey
That's good she's getting back to her usual self again but it's tough getting through it, isn't it?

Well, we missed his afternoon nap, he just wouldn't go down so I just brought him down until it was bedtime at 7.30. He'd had a big feed at 5.30 so didn't want food so just rocked to sleep. He woke up a couple of times when I was trying to get him down but not too bad then he just woke at 8pm and had a big feed. Then he would fall asleep so I'd try to move and he'd frantically suck away again. Have put him down and he woke up again but has settled after another walk around.
He's asleep now and hopefully that'll be him for a few hours...fingers crossed!
It's actually like he's really refluxy again. If they maybe have a growth spurt could the valve need to play catch up or does it now work like that? I thought we'd passed the reflux stage

@Littlehouseinthebigcity Indie has 7oz every 2-3 hours

@Littlehouseinthebigcity 7oz every 3 hours but ds is ff only nowadays, I think ebf babies take less in volume wise from what i remember? Did I read an oz per hour you want to be away? Maybe check that though.

@Horehound sending hugs. In fact, fuck that get a gin. Something has maybe just thrown Arthur's routine, there is so much going on with teeth, leaps and spurts at the moment. Do you let him play in the place you want him to nap? Also, how about just spending a day or two playing together then watching out for when he looks tired and see if that gets repeated? For example ds used to wake, eat, play, sleep repeat, but now apart from first feed of day he's more like wake, play 1hr feed play 30mins - 1 hour nap for an hour. He won't go longer than one sleep cycle even though everything says he should have a long nap at lunch but he naps reliably in his cot and sleeps 10/11 hours straight at night, so it clearly works for him right now. Just because it's not what the books say he should be getting doesn't mean it's not right for him. Square peg round hole sort of thing?

@kyles101 haha thanks for making me laugh. I'll take that gin :)
Yea I do see what you're saying. I mean I'm not religious with when be is napping just when I think he looks tired but even then seems to struggle going down. Like tonight he missed his afternoon nap but it was still a struggle at 7.30
I think I remember it was us that had similar day routines?
No I don't play with him in his nap place, he naps solely in his cot now in our room and we play everywhere else :)

@Horehound so sorry you're having a tough time! Sounds like a mix of teething and everything! My mum said all her 4 children got funny tums when they were teething and it really messed up their poos which could explain all the mucus in Arthur's! Just sending virtual hugs, hope it eases up soon

@Horehound yeah I think they were similar, I don't quite know what caused ds to change, maybe leap 4, it's been a bit of a bitch to others on the fb group so maybe the routine change was our comeuppance from it 🤷‍♀️ ahhh see I did let ds play in his cot a little bit, just watching a mobile and I chatted with him in it for 10 mins at a time etc for about a week before I tried him in it for a nap. Also he naps in his cot but he's still in the n2me crib at night. I stared to think he was ready for solo napping when he got annoyed waking up on someone - a bit warm and irritated at being woken up before he was ready I think. But he's nearly 5 months and only been doing it a week or so. Previous to this week I thought I was just never going to have the use of both hands at the same time ever again. It will happen, keep the faith!

Thank you @yevans. Yes, I wondered if teething can cause strange tummy things but then I watched a YouTube video and said mucus/diarrhea is not a sign of teething...I'm skeptical though!

God I feel crap. I am always on here moaning but i swear I'm not so grumpy in "real life"!

@kyles101 well, he's always been so good at going down I didn't use anything. We did try the little lambs mobile but he freaked out at the lambs! He gets scared at the lights so really I only use the white noise but if it and even then it just keeps him awake hehe. I could have some play time in the cot but I don't think that's the issue. Because he has his eyes closed going down and literally as soon as he hits the cot he cries. Or he tries to flip into his tummy. If he's just eaten he's then sick. Ages ago we used to have to keep him upright for an hour before setting him down but that all stopped yet now it seems to have started again.

Oh I'm sure next week this will be over with and there will be something else I have to learn!

Signed the contract and paid deposit for nursery today!
Happy we found one we like but can’t believe she’ll be leaving me in Sept .
Have booked a full time place but hope to reduce to 4 days if flexible working accepted.
It’s all very unsettling though.

On the plus side the nursery we loved is also the cheapest! Wasn’t a deciding factor and deliberately didn’t tell DH until after we agreed it was the one. £44.50 per day full time (£48 for full day if not 5 days) 07:30-18:00 inc everything (no extra costs). Seems good value. Others were £55+. This one is in a different town though in a less affluent area (but the nursery facilities and outside space are fabulous). They are also happy to learn cloth!