August/September 2019 Babies (Due in Sept 19)

[IVEgottheDECAF]

Couldnt see a post natal group so have taken it upon myself to start one! Will obviously still keep up on antenatal also until babies have all arrived!

Shall we start a list of arrivals?

IVEgotheDECAF - DC5 - boy - 07/09/19 - 9lb1oz

@Moraxella
I feel your pain, mine doesn’t sleep at night, not at all. Daytimes are fine but the sleep deprivation is hideous. I shouted at her this morning and feel awful about it.

Definitely push for help. I’m not depressed —yet- but really frustrated at how bloody shit every day is. I hurt from sitting down and I just want to sleep with a pillow and duvet

In my past experience I reckon if you think you may benefit from support then just go for it. For talking therapies there's almost always a waiting period and if you feel better in a few weeks there's nothing to stop you coming off the list and bumping another mum up a place but if things aren't better you may be very happy you were on the list

Megan I am so glad you said that as after typing the post I got infuriated and shouted at him to stop bloody crying or I was leaving 😰 and then I cried as he looked helpless.

Thank you all I will investigate what help is around. 💆‍♀️

@Moraxella please don’t wait a month for a GP appointment, call either your health visitor or midwife (if baby’s less than 28 days) and ask someone to come out to you. They won’t be able to give you antidepressants but can listen, make you aware of other support available and get you a closer appointment.

I bought the PBC postpartum digital pack a while ago and they have a section on maternal mental health that I listened to yesterday. It confirmed to me that how I’m feeling isn’t “normal”, but is super-common and there’s also a Facebook group similar to the hypnobirthing one that I’ve not tried yet but is apparently also a source of support?

@Senners you’re welcome - I think it’s important to talk about. Midwife coming this morning to see how I am and I am going to agree I need to see the GP. Currently totally against anti-depressants because I’m EBF and it’s pretty much the only part of motherhood I feel I can do, but will see what they say hopefully they can just refer to counseling or something in the first instance.

@fortheloveofscience you wouldn’t have to stop EBF to start anti depressants- there are medications you can take that are safe for you and baby xx

Sorry to hear some of you are struggling. @Moraxella you are not failing your baby. You are seeking to find help and a way through

@Megan2018 I too have yelled in moments of frustration. Not proud, but gosh, some days it's just hard! And yes, then feel like the most awful person as they are so helpless.

raises hand
Made a neurotic speech the other night to baby along the lines of - that's it, I've given everything I've got, and I can't do anymore, for goodness sake it's time to go to sleep

Sorry people are feeling down and rubbish in general. Important to remember all the hormonal changes that are playing a part in this! Keep talking and seek support when needed!

I have been very lucky in that i have never had any PND and only had a couple of days of baby blues after the birth of DC3.

BabyDECAF has decided he only likes to sleep ON ME during the day. DC4 is being particularly stroppy this week and has already had two screaming over nothing fits this morning.

On the whole i am still feeling much much better than i was in all of my pregnancy and have more patience now than then. I did shout at the older dcs during the pregnancy at times but have not lost my shit in the five weeks since baby arrived yet

@danigrace this is our first. I do know what you mean about these things being worse for DPs - 6 years ago I had a ruptured ectopic. They thought everything was fine and it was usual early pregnancy pains (🤷‍♀️) so sent DH home and he was woken with a similar call. In a bouncer for 10 mins - witchcraft!! I've been trying to put DS down all morning so I can have a shower and put the kitchen back together. We're out at lunchtime meeting a friend and he'll be as good as hold then 🙄

Keep keeping that shit together @IVEgottheDECAF 😉

@happydays00 that's exactly what me and DH are doing and it's manageable. He's away for a weekend in 2 weeks time and I'm dreading it bc I'm fairly sure I'm just not going to sleep for two nights. I really feel for those that are doing that on the regular! It must be so tough.

Someone tell me growth spurts only last a day??? Ds has been attached to one nipple or the other allll day.

Hi everyone, I’m mega late to this my DD2 is 7 weeks and I’m hitting the sleep deprivation build up losing my absolute shit stage I remember from last time. I wish I could cope on little sleep but I really can’t.

For those that are struggling and having to wait for appointments, absolutely get in touch with your HV and they’ll be able to fast track you. It’s really important for any postnatal mental health issue to be dealt with as quickly as possible. I had PND and anxiety last time and seem to have a hopefully milder form this time too, I was told there would be a 4 month waiting list for talking therapy until my HV got involved and I was seen the following week.

Hope it’s ok for me to join in so late

Hi and welcome @Myspiritan

Thanks @kyles101 my DD is exactly the same today! She’s so furious too, it would be funny if I wasn’t so tired

Ha ha @Myspiritan my ds eyebrows go red with anger when he realises my nipple is more than 10cm away from him and if they're in another room, well then the fun really starts. I'm pretty sure I've heard him growl at least ice today! Where has my sweet funny boy gone! Luckily we don't have plans tomorrow either - people would think he was possessed if I had to take him out.

Welcome @Myspiritan

@kyles101 I remember that well!! Not had it so full on just yet this time. Eventually it became the signal of pending doom for DS1 - brewing an illness, or new tooth etc. I'm sure it will happen with jabs this time if not before!

Totally agree with what was said about health visitors, mine came today and is fast tracking my Home-Start referral which was made by somebody else, I didn't even know they could do that!

In a complete contradiction my boy goes down beautifully at night - evidence below - I put him down awake, went to do the usual nighttime bathroom routine for myself, came back and he's nearly asleep. Daytime I put him in his Moses, he's there 5 mins then howls to get back out. Do I try to put him down in his next to me crib in the daytime too in the hope he will settle, or could I risk him not liking it then not settling at night?

Whoops, forgot the pic

My boy so far has gone beautifully at night self settling and all sorts. Daytime is difficult with him wanting to be held but perseverance usually gets me a half hour or so in his swinging chair during the day. :)

Sorry should say I am avoiding the crib for anything but bedtime so ge associates it with sleep

@kyles101 napping was the talk at our parents group this week. Nate goes down excellently at night but is terrible in the day. Probably as there's not consistency when there's stuff to do and I'm not always in the house maybe. Having said that, I don't know what witchcraft happened yesterday, but he did have a short nap in his crib. I caught the tired signs straight away and put him in. Had tried the day prior but it didn't work so just tried again. I made sure tho to go to him straight away to try to settle and didn't let him get him get upset in there. No negative energy in the magical night time crib please, lol.

Am sure it won't happen again. I think for me I miss the tired signs. They come a lot quicker than I think. But daytime still very tricky nap wise. Let me know if you find a magical solution.

I was put onto a great app too called wonder weeks. Explains lots about developmental stages and really makes sense. You have to pay for it tho, but I've found it interesting.

Woops, meant to say @kyles101 cute pic, they're getting so big!

Well bugger me, my daughter is a contrary so and so!!
After Monday nights marathon 10hr awake stint, last night was the complete opposite! Fell asleep at 23:15 after 1 boob, I woke up at 2:15 with the other boob massive so woke her quietly to feed, then changed her and went to the loo. I was expecting that to create hysteria but there was no crying and she fell straight back to sleep. I woke up at 7:45 and had to wake her for nappy and currently feeding. We’ve had a whopping 7.5hrs sleep . I’m now panicking she is ill.......

Wow @Megan2018, that’s miraculous! Hopefully she’s not ill and her days and nights have just kicked in after her marathon! Fingers crossed for tonight for you! My DD1 was such a screamer and never slept initially but she actually turned into a great sleeper by 6 months and slept through from 8 months.

My DD just napped in her bouncy chair for a whole shower!!!!!