The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #3

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 3 mamas

@Assumeitwassomethingclever Ladies before me are being a bit nicer about it, but when I read your message I just thought your husband was being such an ungrateful dickhead. Honestly, if he can't manage your LO for MEASLY ONE HOUR why does he act like it's not a fucking hard work for you for the rest of the day? Babies are hard work. All day long. Every day. My LO is in a pretty good phase at the moment, but it's still so hard. I feel like I ran a 5k after I change his nappy, as he wriggles so much. And that's just a tiny part of the whole long day.
I'm angry on your behalf.

Also, you're not the only one with a house in a state. I just can't keep up with it. I feel like I barely manage to tidy up the mess after feeding (we're doing mixture of baby led and purees, as I need to get as much poop-encouraging fruit in him as I can), hang the washing, drink the tea and the LO is up again.

I'm going crazy at home. I'm so happy he's sleeping independently now, but he's on a pretty strict schedule and is asleep at the time when most groups and classes happen. So I'm stuck at home and coming up with reasons to just get out, but can't go too far, as he's not a reliable buggy sleeper. So it's the same boring places all the time. 😒
He's so funny though. I was jokingly hyperventilating at him one day, he laughed a lot, then next day started pretending to hyperventilate, too. Scared the s**t out of me at first, but he laughed, so I did it back, and he copied me again with a big grin on his face. What a little joker!

I mopped the kitchen floor today and it is several shades lighter now. Slightly horrified by my own grubbiness!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I can only envy what your going through because my partner is a joke at home too . He works away Monday to Friday most weeks . Says he can't wait to get home and bond with the baby yet I end up still doing everything. I end up with her in her chair in the bathroom with me whilst I bath sometimes. My partner is next level waste of space . I have literally been so sick this week and I'm still sick. Rose has been unwell so taken her to the Drs. She has a cold and bad constipation . They have me supposetries which worked instantly. Thank God .

In regards to her cold has anyone experienced something similar . She is fine in the day but as soon as night comes she's so upset . The past 2 nights I have been up with her all night . She can't sleep longer than 20 minute stretches and she won't feed through the night because she can't breath through her nose (she feed may be twice in the night) which is so strange as you all know rose gets me up every hour to go on the boob . I use the nose sucker thing and snuffle babe and prop her up some but can't do anything to help her . She has had a cold before and she was fine with it . Even in the night but this time she's really upset. I think I've got a chest infection . I have been so sick . My mum and sister have been helping me all week .

I just want to fast forward two weeks . As hopefully I'll be better and rose will be too . She has also been off her food a bit in the day . Just hope she gets better soon . Any advice on helping her at night would be great

Oh my god.

Completely forgot about daylight saving until this morning. Can't wait for even earlier wake ups!

Hey ladies, sorry I've been MIA lately - I've been reading but then by the time I've caught up my attention is demanded somewhere else.

Update from me - I've been back in work 4 weeks now and it's going ok. Hubby and I have settled into a rhythm so that the living room and kitchen are not left in a state each night which means weekend cleaning is bathroom / toilet and bedrooms rather than the whole house. Still need to deep clean as it's all gone a bit to pot with the Rugby World Cup on, @BadBadBeans I hate mopping 🤦🏼‍♀️. Hubby can be a bit lazy / easily distracted but since I've been back in work he's picked up a bit on housework and also done a few solo days with baby as he works shifts and this week has 3 solo days with both kids so it will be interesting to see how he handles it. I think it's so easy for the working parent to forget that the stay at home parent doesn't get breaks etc and then if the SAHP goes back to work it can be challenging to change the mindset again. I hope those of you with inconsiderate partners are doing ok and can settle into a rhythm soon as it really does make a huge difference. I do have to remind him though that there is no point getting stressed about the kids toys being out during the day. Tidy them once at the end of the day (unless they're out of control lol). Also, it's taken until we had our second child for my husband to learn how to cook! May only be by the basics but at least it's a meal I don't have to do lol.

Hi everyone

Sorry for being very MIA. Has been a hectic couple of months.

I'm still catching up on the thread so can't reply personally to anyone just yet. But wanted to update on what's going on this end with little man approaching the 8 month mark on 14 November.

Sleep has been up and down. He's been in his own room since 4 months and worked well for us. At the beginning of October little man was really poorly and after a horrific night we took him to a walk in clinic thinking he had a cold and teething, to be told he had tonsillitis 😢😢😢😢cue antibiotics and horrible side effects which meant switching antibiotics part way through the weeks course. Really was the worse time we've had with him as he's such a happy baby and was just so poorly. But he's back on fine form.

We'd started weaning before he became unwell but had to not feed solids for a week because of the tonsillitis. He's more than made up for it. Doing a mixture of purées, finger foods both homemade and ellas kitchen/Heinz pouches. He'd eat everything if we let him. He's having three meals a day and his milk feeds have dropped from 8oz to 6oz, albeit still having 4 bottles a day.

Going back to sleep, our baby monitor is so sensitive that I'm finding the light from that is disturbing me and OH more than little one waking up. I've purchased a sleep mask to help with this! We only have the monitor on as we have OH's brother living with us and don't let LO get to the point where he is loudly crying/screaming so as not to disturb him. Albeit at the moment he is waking at least once purely to cry out in his sleep and for his dummy.

On a personal level, we have also been in the process of buying out OH's brother so has been very stressful. My partner has been working like a dog and has had stress induced dermatitis and eczema because his brother is just so hard to live with at the moment. He'll be gone next month but he's made life very awkward for us all.

LO starts nursery next month and I'll be doing KIT days at work in December, followed by holiday before going back 4 days a week in January. The time has flown and I'm wondering how I'm going to juggle it all. Mainly I'm going to miss my time with LO even though I know he'll thrive at nursery and it's best for us all.

So that's my main news!

@ballanj wow you have had it tough ! Glad to hear baby is now feeling better .

Sounds like things will get a little easier once your brother in law moves out .

going back to work is going to be hard I think . I am having really bad separation anxiety with my LO. I have only ever left her for a funeral. I can't bring myself to leave her . I don't even like it when she has a nap.

How quickly is the time going . Can't believe we were all talking when we were just pregnant

@HidCat such a good point about only tidying toys once! I tried to instigate a one-out-at-a-time rule with my 3 year old but it just doesn't work. Easier to do a quick whizz around at bedtime.

I think one of my main problems with housework is actually trying to do too many other things as well. I've done a fair bit of sewing since J was born - I think I have made four kids' tops and six pairs of leggings. I've knitted myself a shawl. And I am also trying to write two books - a memoir and a children's book. I feel frustrated during weeks when I get very little creative stuff done. But equally when I do get a lot done it usually means the housework has gone to pot.

@ballanj ouch what a time you have had - hope you're on the up now! Good luck with nursery.

@Jenlou1992 when are you back to work? I've got to pick up work again from mid December. Dreading it! I'm going to try and avoid nursery until J is 11 months, but we shall see how it goes.

J is incredibly mobile now. He goes from lying down to sitting and back again fluently, is constantly up on his hands and knees trying to crawl (crawling backwards), and from the crawl position will put his feet flat on the ground and legs straight which looks very uncomfortable to me! Yoga baby.

He still thinks his brother is the funniest person in the world. He has just started doing a totally different smile with a scrunched nose, which cracks me up. He is a bit hit and miss on solids still but definitely loves banana porridge and rice cakes. Some success with EK purees. He had a horrid temperature at the weekend (pushing 40) which scared me a bit but is fine now, except he has lost his voice. And he fell over from standing holding on and smashed the back of his head into a pile of planks which also scared the life out of me - I was fully expecting concussion - but he's fine. He is very keen to walk and will do little side steps now as he holds on to the coffee table. He also likes to let go and hold on with just one hand. Oh and he's just started doing this nuzzling thing when you pick him up - he rubs his head under your chin / against your chest like a little cat. Very sweet.

@BadBadBeans I go back to work beginning of January . Will be doing nights and one day shift ... the day shift rose will go nursery but otherwise she is with my partner or family . I need to pray her sleeping habits are much better by then

She is also very mobile . Only just sitting by herself but she can get around on the floor quite quickly. In terms of food she has 3 meals and she is not phased by what I offer her . Never turned her nose up at anything yet and she has lots of veggies.

Had problems with constipation . Was prescribed supposetries and only used them once but wow did she pass a motion !!!! So avoiding giving her banana and dairy at the moment as think they were not helping . As advised by a Dr. Just till her tummy settles down and gets used to the digestion .

Anyone LO got teeth ? No sign here , turned 7 months on Tuesday .

@Jenlou1992 Sonny will be 8 months on Wednesday (where has the time gone) and not a sign of a tooth anywhere. I've taken to calling him the toothless wonder

@badbadbeans I can't believe you're able to do all that! I'm so physically and mentally drained most of the time, I can't even contemplate anything creative! Well done you!

@Jenlou1992 No teeth here either. He had some teething pain and started drooling when he was 3m old. Four months later, still nothing at all. I only had my first tooth around 11m, same my brothers, so I guess he'll be similar?

He's sleeping better, although it's still hit and miss. Last night he was waking up every hour since 2:30. He always settled within 5 minutes, but oh my god I'm feeling broken this morning.

Food-wise he's doing alright. We wanted to do BLW, but needed to spoon feed some fruit purees at the beginning, as he was very constipated. But we still try to do as much finger foods as possible. He prefers foods he can grab easily. Had some arrancini from mushroom risotto yesterday and he was so happy. Tried some peanut butter and jam on toast this morning and it was quite hilarious. He really didn't want to touch it, as it was sticky. He just looked at it sadly, hmm-ing. DH had to hold it for him for the first bite, after that he tucked in happily.

He's commando crawling around pretty quickly now and starting to lift his chest off the ground more and more often. Loves to stand up, although his balance is not great still and his legs buckle under him in few seconds. We're contemplating getting a jumperoo, but hesitate as he's spending way too much time on his feet already, to the detriment of other development possibly. He's still not sitting unsupported. He's just not interested and whenever I sit him up he just tries to push himself to his feet or slides to the side and onto his tummy.

Last few days he became very "non-verbal". He finally started with the bababa/dadada sounds and other babbling, but now he's just kind of moaning and humming and sighing. It's kinda cute and funny and probably not bad for him to practice the non-verbal communication, but as always I worry about it. It does sound a bit sad and I can only hope he's not doing it because he's in pain. Anyone else had this? Is it some kind of phase?

@Sheeni i go for periods of him barely making noises then like this week - I can't hear anything else over him babbling away to himself

I sympathise with everyone's weaning dramas - Kara seems to be alternating between "give me all of the food" and "what is this poison you are feeding me?" She will only eat purees still, it doesn't matter how often I give her something to pick up and eat, it just gets bashed on the table several times then dropped on the floor.
Sorry I'm not really contributing to dialogue, I've just read through 2 weeks' worth of posts so my head is smushed!

@ballanj your poor little man! So glad he's recovered. I'm sorry to hear your OH's brother is being difficult and your OH is stressed. Home stretch now! Good luck with returning to work - you'll soon find your rhythm!

@Jenlou1992 it's never easy leaving them but you will adjust. Make the most of your time now as it does go so fast! We had constipation too but it settled after a few weeks. Keep an eye on it as my older son had impaction as a toddler and that was rough. No teeth here either at 7.5 months!

@BadBadBeans I managed a bean bag and a peg bag whilstI was off so you're doing very well on the creative activities! LO sounds like they're a handful of their mobile. Glad he's doing well and had no damage from his bump.

@Sheeni try not to worry too much about the sitting. He'll get there.

@Queenofpi I think we're all a bit like that these days!

We've had a mad week. Been involved in extended family dramas (Social Services variety) and it's half term so that's always fun lol. Unfortunately missed out on Halloween festivities yesterday due to above dramas which I'm gutted about but hey ho. Melissa has finally decided to roll front to back after rolling the other way for months lol!

Hi all, this thread somehow dropped off my watched threads so I didn't know that anyone had posted for awhile. I was popping on to ask how everyone has been getting on but most of you have given updates anyway! Sorry I don't have time to reply to all of you as I'm on my phone, but I really do concur with a lot of what you're all saying!

For those suffering with sleep issues, there may be hope in that we've had about 6 weeks of pretty much hourly wakings then on Sunday he randomly started only waking up once a night. He's a day or so off 8 months. He's also finally got teeth in the last week or so plus has re learnt how to roll from his front to his back, both of which were major contributors!

I've also been very busy for these last 6 weeks but the end is very much insight now. My husband has been on SPL for the last 7 weeks to do a lot of the baby related tasks ... Thankfully he's been a little more tactful than some of your partners have been, although he has said that he thinks going to work is easier which is a real win for me because I don't think he really appreciated what I do all day before now, and he's had the 6-8 months bit which is "easier" in that the babies are giving you something back for your hard work.

(Also just posted the above in an AIBU thread that I was reading and def not posting in... Such a fool. Although the forum owners haven't set up their site in a mod friendly fashion as on most others the poster has the ability to edit their own posts which saves the mods hassle... I used to work for a massive online forum on their community team and genuinely can't understand why MN doesn't let you edit posts because it adds more work for already overworked moderators but that's another issue entirely)

And as of today I now have a crawler! My easy life is most possibly over so now that he's in bed and asleep I'm going to open a bottle of wine and have a very large glass ha

Hi folks, we have 4 teeth and 2 more on the way! It has made everyone's life pretty miserable for the last few weeks. He still isn't crawling but whilst he's sitting he is trying to grab things that are further and further out of his reach, so that may lead to something. I've had an absolutely horrendous few weeks and come to the conclusion (after a lot of tracking and a LOT of research) that it is possible that I have PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). I thought it was just because I'd had a baby and things were more severe but when I think back I have always had horrendous symptoms right before my periods. I was on the mini pill for about 10 years which stopped my periods, which makes sense that I didn't experience this for a long time (well maybe twice a year - and always had a period following it). I have a doctors appointment on 18th so I'm hoping they'll take me seriously. I actually mentioned the severity of my pms to doctors before I got pregnant and I was pretty much fobbed off.

Does anyone else have a baby that likes food more than milk? He's never been much of a feeder - buts he's definitely preferring food to milk now. He's just been crying for half an hour as though he was hungry, kept refusing a bottle but happy as Larry when I put him in the high chair and gave him chicken casserole and some fruit.

I just keep seeing stuff about how food before one is just for fun and getting worried about it I need to try and sort this. But on the other hand he's getting to be a chunk and for the first time he's fitting into clothes at the start of the bracket and not the end. (He went into 0-3 clothes at 10 weeks, 3-6 months at 6 months and that was only because we were on holiday and there what I'd bought him - they were all huge on him). But went into 6-9 at about 7 months and I definitely think he'll be out of them by Christmas. So he looks like he's doing better on food?

Argh parenting is a minefield ha. I'm getting him weighed on Wednesday so am gonna ask the HV then, but thought I'd just rant on here!

@BadBadBeans sorry to reply to a message from over a week ago! We've been away in Cornwall and I read it on the way down but then had a bored George to entertain so haven't been keeping track or been on since.

Your little man sounds like he really is on the go! Bet you need eyes in the back of your head! Love that he's crawling backwards haha. And he must have a lot of strength already to be up on his hands and feet! I bet you were frightened with the head knock but glad to hear he was ok.

I wouldn't worry about over feeding him with the milk. I think they naturally start to drop it when they get fuller off food. George still gets offered 8oz. Some bottles he only takes about 5oz now, but not consistently enough to reduce them. 3 out of 5 he normally takes the full 8oz then cries for more... he isn't a big baby so not sure where it all goes. Do you think J would be suited more to finger type foods/BLW if hes not keen on the purees? Obviously you know him better than anyone.

I have finally bitten the bullet and made both an appointment with the GP for this Friday and an initial appointment with the ThinkWell service for Wednesday. I do feel quite depressed a lot. I did google PND and don't seem to have those symptoms but feel awful and have started to hate the house. I try to spend all day away from it as this is where my anxiety is worse but it means I had a small panic attack about coming back from Cornwall. Feel better now I've taken the first step. I did watch the Louis Theroux programme, thanks for the reminder as it has made me feel more positive that those mums werent separated from their babies. And thanks for the snuffle babe tip!, it worked a treat!

@Brobot I'm glad you seem to have an idea of what is causing your symptoms and hope the doctors appointment goes well. Can't believe how many teeth your LO has!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever how are things now? Hope your husband is being a bit more sensitive! Looking after a baby all day is incredibly hard. I have another one who doesnt like to be left and it can be stressful just going to the toilet as he will cry for me. It's nice to have that small bit of time at the end of the day knowing they are with DH/DP and you can switch off, have a bath or get on with a bit of work if you need to.

@Jenlou1992 how is Rose getting on with her cold now? It must be tough being on your own for the weekdays. My DP works away sometimes and I know how rough it can be. Especially when you're not getting much sleep.

@HidCat glad work is going well and you have settled into a routine. You seem to be doing well to keep on top of the housework. I'd love some tips on that front because my house is making me feel down with how messy it is. I always liked things tidy before I had a baby and now I just cant seem to get to it all. Sorry to hear about the dramas with your family x

@ballanj sounds like your little man has been through it! I'm glad hes ok now but that must have been tough to see him so poorly. Hope all goes well with buying out your OHs brother and with nursery too!

@Sheeni I think there is another development leap around now and one of the signs I read was that they could be less vocal than usual so I'd try not to worry. Awww that sad hm-ing at the risotto! So sweet!

@Queenofpi ah the 'if I dont want it I'll just bash it and throw it'. We have that too. He mic drops his food off the side as I'm faffing about trying to hold my hand under his saying 'pass to mummy' ha

@Cardboard33 glad you are getting some better sleep now his teeth are through. Bet it's been lovely to have your DH on hand for baby duty the past few weeks and nice that he seems to appreciate how hard it can be.

@WhatALearningCurve ha how have things been since LO learned to crawl? I wouldn't worry about his love for food. I read to give them food half an hour to an hour after a bottle so they still have milk as the main meal. Not sure if you are doing that already. He sounds like he is thriving though. I think the need for milk is more about the nutrients and vitamins they get from it which they might miss out on with food if they don't eat much before 1 but sounds like you're not having that issue.

In terms of an update. George is 8 months on the 11th and I can't believe how fast the time is going. Still no teeth. Loving his food. We do BLW and he's quite embarrassing when we are out at a restaurant as he will bang the table, reach out for food and make a hell of a noise while he has to wait for stuff to cool down. He loves it. He's commando crawling still. He gets from one side of the room into mischief in seconds. We have had to put makeshift barriers everywhere. He tried to climb the stairs so we have a stair gate up now. I have the germ anxiety and came in from the kitchen to find he had crawled over to my shoes and had them in his mouth..!! Managed to keep calm haha. He's standing well holding onto our hands and likes to hold on with one hand but is hesitant to lift his feet up to take a step. He's tried a few goes at a proper crawl from rocking back and forward on hands and knees but then gives up. He can sit up from lying down now but doesn't bother with that much yet as he prefers to be on the ground looking for something else he shouldn't have!

Sorry for the essay, hope I've managed to catch up with everyone but apologies if not. Trying to rush before His Dark Materials comes on at 8!

Hi all

Can I ask how long your babies sleep in the day, or actually how long after waking do they want a nap again? My LO is only awake 2hours before he is tired again. Hes not sleeping through the night at the moment again. Just waking for his dummy etc so when he wakes fully for the day around 7am he always wants to go back to sleep afterwards. I let him sleep on me and sometimes he would actually sleep until 10am! If I put him down in his cot he will wake up properly around 8:30am after that initial 7am feed and then nap straight away.

Hes tired then around 10:30am and has his second bottle. He'll sleep for around an hour maybe in his cot. If he wakes after half an hour I'll hold him and he might sleep for another 2 hours on me! But generally he wakes around 11:30-12 and then wants to go back to sleep around 2ish. Sometimes he has a danger nap around 5pm too! I just thought he would be awake longer between naps by now?

@melissa112 We're on 3 naps per day. Tried to go down to 2, but it didn't go well at all, as he was very overtired and struggling through the night.
He gets up for the day 07:30ish, first nap 09:30-11:00, second nap 13:00-14:00, third nap bit after 16:00, for 30-45 minutes. Third nap sometimes ends up being a bit late, depending on the day naps. He doesn't really follow the above schedule naturally, so it's mostly aspirational, but actually still a bit over the place. Bedtime 19:30. This is going by the sleep plan from the consultant. She wanted us to drop the third nap, but he's not ready yet. He's overtired if I push him past the 2 hour wake window. He does exercise a lot during his wake windows, so I guess the sleep is needed.
He was briefly waking up for feed just once during the night, but since the time change he's been back on 2 feeds.
He surprised us couple of days ago with a sneaky tooth! Didn't have any signs before it cut through, but now he's drooling loads, he's got a drool rash, and he's a bit moody. I thought all that was supposed to happen BEFORE the tooth cuts through? I guess there must be another one incoming

@jenlou1992 I think they're more aware of their cold in the night as there's nothing "interesting" to distract them? Mine is the same. In terms of what you said about going back to work, part of me thinks it will be good for your partner if Rose is still up all throughout the night as then he will perhaps have a little more appreciation for what your life has been like for the last 10 months whilst he's been at work for what seems to be 24/7.

@brobot glad to hear that you might finally have some answers - hope your appointment goes well. I've found that it's easier to write lists of things I want to discuss on my phone as I think about them and then just get the list out in the appointment.

@HidCat sorry to hear you've not had a great time recently with your extended family - hope everything is as good as it can be right now.

@WhatALearningCurve we might be in a similar boat to preferring solids to milk, but it depends on the day. Mine is probably only taking on about half of the milk he used to take (we now feed at 7, 12/1, 5 then once in the night, and he has a bottle of formula before bed) as the feeds have also reduced to about half of their length. Also getting him weighed on Wednesday, I think he's going to be just over 8kg at just over 8 months which has a nice ring to it. What about you?

@melissa112 bless you with your lengthy replies to everyone, I don't know how you manage it! Do you write them on your phone or a keyboard? Mine has a similar nap schedule to yours - I read somewhere that their first nap should be around 90-120 mins after they first wake up which is what I use as a guide. He usually wakes up around 6.30-7am, then goes for a sleep at 8.30/9 which could be anything between 45-120 mins. Then he has another sleep around 2pm which varies in length depending on how long he was asleep for in the morning, then he might have another quick nap around 4.30-5pm depending on how he slept earlier in the day. He usually naps for something like 2.5-4 hours total in the day. We start putting him to bed at 7.45 and he's usually asleep by 8.30pm.

We still aren't crawling, although he's having a very good go at it. @sheeni our baby LOVES to stand/jump and we've got a Fisher Price rainforest jumperoo... it might actually help your baby with sitting because there's a lot of balance work/coordination for them to make the most of the jumperoo. At the moment ours is focusing on walking unaided along the sofa - he's a magnet for a shiny phone, so he follows them along the sofa but then sometimes gets far too ahead of himself and forgets to move his legs at the same time as launching his arms at the shiny object.

I assume everyone else is also now being asked "what do you want me to get for X for Christmas??" .... I DON'T KNOW!!! I've also realised that having a baby is annoying because you then have to think of not one but two presents for everyone as one needs to come from the baby. Gah.

@Cardboard33 oh I'm glad someone else is with me on the feeds! I think Sonny is probably about the same weight wise - I was weighing myself holding him and then weighing myself to work out the difference but then I put too much weight before on so I avoided weighing myself ha

He used to enjoy getting all his clothes off to get weighed but I can only imagine the kick off I'm going to get when I try and put him in the scales ha