The May 2007 Postnatal dilemma- 40 winks or 40 situps

[BefSnork]

thanks to soh/gw for the title

ITS, I remember when I was feeding Maddie that by now I fed with ease, quickly, no pain, let down etc.... I still needed to wear breast pads but didn't leak that much. I didn't have a period until about a mnth after I stopped feeding her at 7mths. I still haven't had one yet and for the last 3 weeks, I've only bf Jorja before bed at night, she's been mix feeding since week 5 before that.
Glad you are doing well.

AM have a fab, fab time in France. Hope the weather improves for you. If it's really bad at the site, you know where we are and you have my number, get your selves down here to us. We have a kettle and a toaster.

Hello everyone,

The tumbleweed is really rolling along our thread at the mo, guess its cause of school hols etc.

AM have a fab time on your holiday wish I was off on mine another month to wait for me.

ITS funny about your query I was just discussing this with my DP and I was reading a thread about things in pants last night. Cant find it otherwise I would link it.

Ok so heres what going on in my neither regions have had a white-ish gunk thing sorry TMI and last week had sort of bleeding but not anything to really write home about thought it was to do with getting a bit frisky.Lasted a week and now gone. But I am ex BF so I thought nothing should be going on there.

But the thread last night talked about the gunk thing and app its to do with ovulating and that yes we can have periods.

So I think thats what I had maybe its a similar thing with you ITS.

The breast feeding thing again not much pain only on initial latch and no leaking except first thing when I have had a big chunk of time not feeding A has EBM at 8pm then I do boob mid of night then again first thing.

Hope this kind of helps

Have a fab time under the stars.

ITS--I am bfing with an occasional formula feed and I've had a few spotting incidents and I think my period started today, we'll see though it may go away and just be spotting.

I hope I don't get my period my friend was exclusively bfing her 5 month old and when she got her period her milk completely stopped. She tried for weeks and just kept putting her ds on the breast, but there was nothing there. I hope that doesn't happen to me.

I still leak, and spray all over though. I've never felt a let down though. Most people I know haven't.

hi
any of you in hot sunny places have advice about what to use to protect baby from mozzies? the stuff in boots says 6 month plus. im going to spain when Freddie is 3 months.
also can you get those UV suit things for babies of that age? only found them for 1 yr so far....
ITS re breastfeeding i could have written same as you. sure its normal. babies get better at it and so quicker....and ive never leaked or worn a breast pad.
i expressed and daddy fed freddie and he guzzled 5 oz in about 10 mins....

you can get things that fit onto buggy's or cots that emit a certain anti mozi noise also the shade a babe is an insect net as well as sunshade. As far as putting something on the babes skin i dont think you can use anything before 6 mth but check with your pharmacist.

Good morning everyone

Hope you are all well, have managed to just about catch up on everyone's news.

All is fine with us, apart from people (i.e. dh's family) not getting Lexie's name right. Went to his dad's 60th on Saturday, she got Alexia, Alexis, Alexi, by the end of the night I was shouting ITS ALEXA to his 80 year old nan. What a lovely girl I am. For f*s sake, its not hard to remember.

My little bundle is a cutie, but a bit of a drama queen. Currently she is whining because she is tired, and is terrified of going to sleep and missing anything.

Does anyone have any advice re routine? Lexie's current routine is that she falls asleep on me at around 8.30pm, then I take her up after her last bottle at 10.30pm, and she goes straight to sleep. I am wondering how I can bring that forward to putting her up a little earlier, but I don't want to upset her current sleep patterns, and have her waking much earlier than 7.30am. Any suggestions. She's also refusing to go upstairs during the day, and if we are in the house will only sleep on me, which is lovely, but rather limiting! Anything that is working for you guys? During the day she gets so overtired and upset, and I'd love to get her into a proper routine.

We are back on goddamn harness check on Thursday at Alder Hey, hoping they'll tell us another 4 weeks. Keep everything crossed for her.

pinkjenny, what happens when you take Lexie out? Does she fall asleep in a pram or buggy?

If you need a break from holding her between feeds so you can do things in the house, I find my baby (dob 4 May) really enjoyed a simple playmat borrowed from the toy library, and he's now got one which is a mat with dangly bits hanging from it on the floor, a friend suggested getting it from IKEA when we were there shopping for something else. It can be folded up and shoved out of the way quite easily, but when he's awake he's happier there than in the crib, and he's not crawling yet so it's ok to leave him there while keeping an eye out for him - I'm finding him large and wriggly to hold all the time between feeds and when not asleep. He does start to nod off now and again.

At night, we give him a bath when we've had our own tea, usually this ends up being between 8 and 9, then I put him in his Moses basket and read him a story which I talk to him about. This sounds mad, and I know he's young for a story, but babies really enjoy just listening to your voice, and the routine does seem to help, he doesn't always fall asleep but seems to be much further on the way there than he was a few weeks ago. His room still has to be emptied of clutter so we can put the cot up, so he's in with us anyway, but we are both getting a bit more sleep.

Elkie - she doesn't tend to go off in the car or the pram if she is overtired. She gets so fed up and just can't switch off. She does like her playmat in very small doses, but I carry her about in her bouncy chair in the house mainly during the day which is fine. Its just the daytime sleep location and overtired thing really.

Also, dh is off for a week in August. Does anyone have any suggestions about where to go? Centerparcs is far too expensive for 2 at this time of year. I fear if we don't go anywhere there will be trouble at mill...

Pj here are some centre parc codes you may be able to use, not sure how much discount each one offers or if they still work (got them courtesy of the money saving expert ) VL13, CPWEB, EDSWEB, EDS.

also haven are offering half price hols. Go to Havenholidays.co.uk/summerhp to choose where you want to go, phone to book and use code Mail_halfprice

Pontins are also offering cheap hols

will let you know if i come across any other offers

Pinkjenny - A is like that. FAR too easily overstimulated. I find I need to wind her down about 10 mins before she's likely to get tired, so in her case, 50 mins after a feed, I need to remove any stimulation. No noise, nothing interesting to look at etc. I also find that if she doesn't sleep well during the day, then she's a complete mentallist by 6pm. Overstimulated and overtired and just crying and whining. Re the earlier bedtime: I would do as suggested and start a proper bedtime routine at say, 6.30pm. I don't always manage it that early as I need to make sure she sleeps before I do the bedtime routine (believe it or not), otherwise she can't settle. Our routine is bath, up to bedroom, play the lullaby tune on her monitor, dressed for bed and into grobag, close curtains together, say night-night to the daytime, feed and into the cot. The key is to do whatever you do, every day in the same order so they get to know and understand that it's bedtime. You can still feed Alexa at 10 or 10.30, just make it a "dream feed". That is, lift her while she's sleeping and tease the bottle into her mouth. She might not even need winding if she drinks it slowly - that's because they're so relaxed and sleepy. The idea being that you put them straight back to bed and then they should get their long "night sleep" from then.

ITS -my boobs rarely feel full and A rarely, if ever feeds for longer than 10 mins. However, because she can usually go 3 hours between feeds and does a 5 to 6 hour stint at night, I know she's getting enough. She's just "efficient".

Cam - you could try a dream feed at 10. It's hard with breastfeeding - I have to use my little finger on A's chin to push her jaw down whilst I work the nipple into her mouth, but once it's in and I stroke her cheek, she'll start to feed. That way, you should be able to move J's long stretch of sleep to 10 to 5, instead of 7 to 1, iyswim.

DD1 is away and DH just went to the US on Saturday eve; he has work meetings Mon to Thurs. A had a hideous afternoon yesterday, cry, cry, cry. Wouldn't even stop when I picked her up and cuddled her. Didn't want to feed/ suckle. After bath and bedtime and two hours of rocking/ pacing, I ended up letting her cry it out in her cot. Was awful. She was bright as a button once she'd slept. Seems she just can't switch off sometimes. In the middle of all this, DH sent a text saying he was having a fab time in NYC. Totally let rip in my reply about him and DD1 leaving the house like a tip (I mean, REALLY disgusting) and that my crap day was made so much worse by having to pick up after two pigs and that I was moving out with DD2 if they didn't get their act together. Was SO . So unfair to leave all that for me. The kitchen was so gross I had to clean it before I could do anything and ended up being so, so tired that I couldn't even be bothered to eat dinner. Oh and to add insult to injury, DH had scoffed the individual chicken pie I'd bought for myself in M&S so that I could just fling something in the oven whilst minding A on my own. OK, there was an individual cottage pie in the fridge too, but I wanted the PIE!

Anyway, he seemed quite sorry. (Remember DH has been off work for the last four weeks so it's not like he's had ANYTHING to do...) Though he also said, "can't you get a mother's help for when I'm away"... Duh, too late. You're already gone and I don't want someone to come in and help me with the baby - I can manage her myself. I need you and DD1 to pick up after your sorry, filthy selves. He got the message eventually (and I've booked some cleaners for tomorrow).

Just one of those days... A much better today, despite having her immunisation this morning.

TYG, sympathies, I do so hate it when other people don't tidy up after themselves, luckily dh is a cleaning freak (he's been institutionalised after all, boarding school and army ), and when he goes on a spy mission I have to do the whole blasted lot on my own.

How long do you think I would have to dreamfeed J before it became his routine? The other two were going through til 4am by now. He is super fast, 5 mins max at each feed and I was thinking of letting him cry for a while at 4am to see if he would settle himself before jumping up to feed him, what do you think? The bf doesn't hurt at all, but I do still feel the let-down.

MID, as for mozzie spray, we have used Mike Mossie and Mosiguard for kids, (every bleedin day since 2 weeks old until we left Cameroon 6 months ago) with no apparent side effects. I don't personally like the Boots one - too greasy. Travelpharm website can send you Mosiguard and Mike Mossie I think you can get on JoJoMaman or Blooming Marvellous.

Enjoy the camping ITS.

Mammouth car journey coming up tomorrow with a stop in a country park for airing. Wish me luck...

PinkJenny, TYG mentiond letting her A cry it out I know it sounds awful and it is really tough to start with but it IS the best way to teach her that it's sleep time. Day or night if it's time for sleep then it's off into cot and good night. It sounds so terrible I know, but if you can stick it out it will only take a few times for A to realise that you mean business. From about 9 weeks thay can recognise a routine and learn from it and also play on it if given the opportunity. She will scream and scream the first time you leave her but it will not harm her and she will tire herself out crying and fall asleep, it may take 10mins or sometimes longer but the next time it will be less and less. She has to learn and teach her self how to fall asleep on her own.

I did this with Maddie and have also just done it with Jorja. Maddie is an absolute dream when it comes to sleep, apart from the occasional time that she shouts when she goes to bed she never cries and doesn't even cry when she wakes she just plays in her bed until I get her, and she is in a big bed now.

Jorja's routine goes like this.

Wake, feed, wind, chat for a few minutes cue lots of smiles and giggles. Into bouncer for about 20mins ish, on first sign of her getting figety or grumpy, it's out of bouncer and up stairs to bed. In cot, in dark, music on and good night. Thats it, She hardly ever cries if I catch her at the right time, if she has been left too long before I get her into bed than she may whinge for a few minutes and then falls asleep. The routine is continued throughout the day if we are at home. The only time it changes is in the evening when the bouncer time is replaced with bath time and then to bed.

It is tough to start it off and to listen to them crying but for what may be a few difficult days it could mean an easy many years ahead. If you can't stand her crying than you can try the shhhhhh pat method. Let her cry for 3 mins, pick her up, shhhhh and pat until calm and then put her down again before she falls asleep on you, repeat until she stays calm as you put her down, the earlier in age you use this method the easier it often is.

And after all my preaching I forgot to say, TYG glad you had a better day today. Did you get a message to scoot?

AM arrived in a better weathered France today safe and well and says HI to all.

Cam are you off anywhere nice?

ITS have a great time camping.

Lg&t, you hoooooo where are you????????????

MrsJB - I suppose that method isn't for everyone, but fwiw, I agree with you. A went off last night really well. I went in once when fussing turned to real screaming, calmed her, put her back down awake, she fussed a bit more and dropped off. I'm going to have to bite the bullet and do this for naps too. And I agree with you about catching the right moment. If you get them before they get overtired it's much easier. Dr. Weissbluth in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" agrees with this too - after studying over 2000 babies and children. He thinks letting children nap on you/ out of their bed actually robs them of proper sleep. (Incidentally, he doesn't think "attachment parenting" and co-sleeping is wrong - he even tells you how to make it work - he just thinks that most "western" "middle class" families probably want their babies to sleep in a cot and go to sleep alone.

Cam - A fed at around 4.30 the night before last and when I heard her fussing at about 6 I just turned down the monitor and left her. She went off again until 8.15! I think it really depends on when they had their last feed. If it's more than three or four hours then you prob need to go in. If it's less than three, then it might be worth hanging on to see if they nod off again.
I think a dreamfeed would be routine after a few nights. That said, I decided to see if I could drop it last night and she went 8.30 to around 2.30, then 2.45 to 6. I think if I'd tickled her a bit more during that night feed and encouraged her to take on board a bit more, then she might have gone til 7ish. I fed her and left her playing in the cot this morning until 7 and she was fine while I caught a bit more kip.

I guess try the dreamfeed for a few nights and if it's not working then don't drive yourself mad with it. It might just be that you have to accept that he'll stretch his nights the other end and that's that!

I only remembered to post that note to Scoot on Friday , but she should have got it yesterday or latest today.

Thats great TYG, so pleased you managed to drop her a note.
I agree with you TYG, I have friends that as much as they know it's the best way they just can not do it.... I think the leaving babies to cry and settle themselfes becomes easier with each child. I certainly didn't do it with H and made a rod for my own back. With Maddie I found it much easier and with Jorja I have to say sometimes I don't even hear her crying.

Jorja has definately cracked it now though, another great night 11-9.30am.

I think there's also the fact that your other children/ family members make demands on your time and you just can't spend hours and hours soothing your baby. I think as long as you give them lots of cuddles when they're awake then a bit of crying doesn't do them any harm or give them trust or attachment issues.

TBH, I didn't find it as hard as I thought. Apart from the fact that holding her was making her worse, not better on Sunday night, the fact that DH was away made it easier. He can't bear the crying so it makes me feel like a "bad mother" when he's visibly distressed. Was good that he was away.

I agree about leaving to cry. I did it with C and now I'm doing it with R and she is settling much better. Her main problem is that she has an incredibly small time window from 'a bit tired could do with a nap' to 'extremely over-tired and can't get to sleep'. If you miss that window it's hell on earth getting her to sleep. She won't just fuss, she screams and screams and just won't stop. I'm getting much better at reading her now and usually get it right but dh is still a bit baffled by her and often leaves her downstairs for too long then regrets it.
Thanks for all you advice re potty training Mrs JB. We're getting on a lot better now. C has not had a single wee accident today so far and is beginning to know when he wants to go. Poo is another matter altogether though, he hasn't done one in the potty or toilet yet, he just does them in his pants. I find it so frustrating as usually he's just got off the potty when he does it. I don't know if he's scared of it or what but it's driving me crazy and I'm finding it very hard not to get cross with him. If it was just the wees I'd be happy to go out anywhere as he's pretty good now but I feel i can't take him anywhere for fear he'll do it and ther'll be no where to go and clean him up.

I too am trying the crying thing during the day for naps - he is an absolute dream at going to bed at night time. During the day he goes from being really smiley and happy to an utter misery in the space of 5 mins! Sometimes it works and he bobs off after 10 mins but other times he can scream and scream and then sleep for 20 mins and start again. Have tried shush pat and going in etc but to no avail. So I think I just have to get better at putting him down at the first yawn and eventually he will get it and sleep for longer than 45 mins which so far has been his max sleep time.

I'm so glad everyone has this day nap drama. Makes me feel like less of a crap mum. x

PJ you are not a crap mum but i do know how you feel. Think we all have moments where our LO's wont do as we want and therefore it makes us feel we are doing it wrong.

I think we also assume that if our babies cry, then we're doing something wrong. It's not necessarily the case. Granted, if you catch your baby right on the cusp of tiredness then they may well drift off to sleep without a fuss. The reality is that is bloody difficult to do - even if you know your baby really well, so they may well cry a bit when they're put to bed.

Even trying "soothing to sleep" can make them cry, I found to my misery the other night! So don't worry PJ. Sleep is a hugely important part of a baby's development, so if you have to have a drama to make it happen; so be it.

Tonight went as follows... A woke at around 5.30pm from nap. Fed, in the bath by 6 and in bed by 6.30. Fussed and cried from 6.40 until about 7. Went in and calmed her. Fussed again a few mins after leaving her until 7.15 and nodded off. Woke again at 8 (their sleep cycles are 45 mins, so knowing this I just left her and she nodded off again after two or three mins.) Next time she wakes, I'll know she'll be hungry (more than three hours since last feed) so I'll go in that time.

DH just phoned and asked for the address of Jimmy Choo in NYC. Woohoo! It's the weak dollar, he must be feeling flush. Hehehe.

TYG- if it was my dh he would ask for the address thinking it was a Chinese restaurant