The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #2

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 2 for all our newborns ❤🤗👣

@Wineandchoccy that's good to know. If I remember right it was around 4-5 months before DS took proper daytime naps!

@Jenlou1992 I use an app and apparently we average 8-9 feeds a day (about 2 hourly during the day then a 3-5 hours at night) and feeds are 13 minutes long on average. To begin with he was feeding more regularly but only 5-10 mins at a time and one midwife told me that wasn't long enough as they should feed for more than 20 mins to get the hindmilk.

I know a midwife though and she told me that foremilk and hindmilk isn't something they talk about now. Some people have a faster flow and the fattier milk comes faster than others. If baby is following their line then the length of feeds shouldn't matter.

Another rant, as this isn't something I feel like I could talk about with anyone non-anonymously.

We still can't DTD, as a granuloma (like a painful skintag) formed on my episiotomy scar. It hurts, occasionally bleeds, looks disgusting and I think it's causing me an infection as well. None of the checks (midwife or GP around 6weeks PP) picked it up, as none of them ever looked properly. Only my husband spotted it when we wanted to DTD and he was a bit horrified.
I finally got a referral paperwork from my GP and the earliest available appointment for gynaecologist is in September. That might be for the consultation and god knows how long I'll then have to wait for removal.
I can't have sex with this, so I now have to wait more than 3 months before I can even contemplate it. And this stupid thing grows and gets more and more annoying every day.
I wouldn't have this problem in my home country, as back home I'd have my own gyno, like I'd have my own dentist. There are just some doctors that shouldn't be referral only - paediatrician, dentist, gynaecologist.
I'm just so mad and I don't even have any options or anything.

@Sheeni you poor thing that sounds painful and very frustrating. That is a long time to wait, is there any chance you could go somewhere privately? It would mean paying but might be worth the money if it means you are pain free and it gets dealt with much more quickly.

@cardboard33 I'm jealous of your 9am wake up! In spite of me doing a dream feed the latest little one has woken up ever is around 7am and that was a one off! Then again, he does go down fairly well usually between 6 and 7, will then take a 10/10:30 feed and stays asleep until at least 5 so we can't have it all I guess 😂🤪

In terms of routine, I'm just being led really by what J seems to want. I know that he tends to cry for a feed around 6.30pm and then another feed a couple of hours later, and the second feed is when he falls solidly asleep. He wakes up for keeps anywhere from 4.30am to 6.30am. I prefer it when he wakes later! But if we are both up very early then after his feed I try to do something quiet and productive, eg put away laundry (DH is still sleeping in the guest room). In the daytime his naps are unpredictable. I've had days where he's been awake almost continuously and days where he's slept half the day (and I've got loads done - hurrah!) Usually he goes down in his basket easily after his 3/4am feed but I'm typing this in the dark while singing to him as he seems determined to stay awake tonight! Rather challenging typing and singing at the same time I must say.

@cardboard33 a belated thank you for recommending the haakaa for catching milk while feeding. I had been using breast shells but they only hold about 75ml and I had so much milk that I was having to change them over halfway through a feed, and I kept spilling loads. I bit the bullet and ordered a haakaa and used it for the first time tonight - utterly brilliant. I got 90ml from one side and 30ml from the other. No spillages. How do you clean it please? I've rinsed it out for now and filled it with water so no residue dries on overnight. Do you use a bottle brush? I don't actually have a bottle brush - with the breast shells I just give them a good clean in hot soapy water with the pads of my fingers but I can't get inside the haakaa to do that!

@jenlou1992 J usually has both breasts, about 30 mins total for a feed. Sometimes I take him.off because he is just sleeping with the occasional suckle, and when he's in that state if I let him he'd stay on all day!

@Sheeni that sounds so frustrating. Would it be worth going back to your GP to talk about how upset you are about it and see if anything can be hurried up? I also second @ballanj in seeing if you can go private - paying for an initial consultation might then get you referred on for NHS removal faster perhaps?

I find I am feeling a little guilty/ worried that I am not spending enough time interacting with J. The day just whooshes by in a flurry of feeding, cooking, laundry. It's easier on the days that my eldest is in nursery to take time out to sit with J on my lap and read stories, but that is only two days a week! I guess I just have to be better at prioritising J and letting other things go. My favourite thing to do with him is to have a conversation - he tells me lots of things very seriously and he loves it when I respond - loads of smiles and the odd 'ha! ha!' I sing songs to him with actions - incey wincey, round and round the garden. Sometimes I sit him for a few minutes and show him R's musical instruments and get him to hold the shakers. But he does get put in his bouncer or sling a lot while I crack on! What do you guys do with your babies and how often / how much time do you spend doing it?

@BadBadBeans I just basically do the same as you regarding playing with little one. Songs, talking, telling stories and showing her her little doll and rattles. Other than that she's just usually sat in her chair or laid under her play gym whilst I "try" and get other things done.

My little one had her 12 week jabs this afternoon (3pm) does anyone know if I need to give calpol for these ones too?

She's having them this afternoon, not had. Typo!

@ballanj @Badbadbeans I looked into the private option, but at the moment it's too expensive. I'll have to talk to the GP and see whether it can be pushed a bit.

@badbadbeans My LO gets overtired and overwhelmed quite easily, so we basically go the feed-burp-change-sleep routine and I squeeze as much play as possible into that. So we chat and sing and dance around while burping, chat to a toy when changing. Then we have maybe 10 minutes max for serious play, so we play with rattles until he makes it clear he's had enough.
I don't get to do a lot of house work, as he's too clingy and doesn't like to sit anywhere and I'm not very good at one-handed work.
And then it's the nap time, which is a fight on its own, but if I don't force it, he's not doing well throughout the day. I think you're doing enough. They also have only so much capacity and need to process things, so he's probably doing that while he's chilling out.

We managed some of the night in the next 2 me tonight! I'd say maybe 3x45 minutes, as he's not good at transitioning between sleep cycles and was waking up crying. Also, he kept startling a lot, so I had to hold him a bit. I wish he didn't hate swaddling so much. I gave up around 01:45, as I wanted him to have a bit more sleep than he was getting. No good sleep for me, but it's a progress!

@kee80 I'm pretty sure there's no risk of fever with these jabs so no Calpol needed but we haven't had ours yet so I wouldn't say 100% certain

@Sheeni sorry to hear what you're going through, it sounds horrible for you. I would've definitely said see about private if possible otherwise just keep pushing GP because you can't keep waiting that long.

Glad to hear you got some time with LO in their crib last night, it's a step in the right direction. Does he sleep in a sleeping bag?

@Sheeni that sounds awful, you're going through so much and i really feel for you! Hope the GP can push it forward, if not could you try another one at the same surgery for a second opinion? That's great that you've had a breakthrough with the next to me crib!

@BadBadBeans we do the same as you! In the morning i lie him on the bed while i sit up and groggily chat to him, its actually one of my favourite times of the day, especially at the weekend when DP can join in as he's fed, changed, alert and just wants to interact. Then he gets put in his bouncer upstairs while i get dressed, brush teeth etc. Then popped onto his play mat downstairs while i make a brew, fill his powder pot things and have some cereal. The rest of the day we just have chats and play after his bottle. He's so nosy so if i put him on my knee i won't get much eye contact out of him i prop him sat up in the corner of the corner sofa and he's all eye contact and smiles so i sing, chat and show him his toys. His favourite thing to do by bar is hold his muslin cloth and eat it...! Over all the toys, he would take that! He goes in his chair some more throughout the day so i can get bits done then just repeat each feed time. DP reads him a bedtime story when he's had his last bottle and is drifting off on him in his sleeping bag. So he does spend a fair bit of time on his mat or in his chair. He's very intently practising rolling onto his side now so i just leave him to it and have brews 🤣

@kee80 we've just had our 12 week jabs and i did give calpol. It was only when i got in that i realised that it was the menB one that could cause a fever but the nurse was there helping me hold him to give him the calpol just before it so would have thought she'd have said if he didn't need it. Now I'm not sure whether to give more at 2pm...hmm

*by far not by bar

Does everyone else have the tv on during the day? I try not to have it on all day and when he's awake i turn it off as he will actually strain his neck around trying to watch it rather than look at me! When he's asleep I watch stuff as I can't put him down in the day without him crying and I wouldn't know what to do with myself just stuck on the sofa otherwise.
But if it is on during when he's awake does it matter if he tries to watch it? Suppose I'm overthinking it as I'm prone to do!!

@kee80 no calpol needed for the 12 week vaccinations x

@BadBadBeans I did far more with dd1 because I’m busy sorting out her poor dd2 gets left in her bouncer or on a play mat but when it’s just us 2 I try and have a few 5/10 minute play times with rattles. I have started putting the radio on instead of the tv and having a sing along which she seems to like - someone has to like my singing
When I am cleaning up I move her around the house in the bouncer and give a running commentary of what I am doing more often than not she falls asleep which is always good.

@Wineandchoccy oops, don't know why the nurse didn't say about no calpol for the 12wks ones. Was gonna give some more at 2 but not going to now!

Thanks guys, glad we are all doing similar on the entertainment front. @melissa112 that's hilarious - J just loves to chew his muslin too! And you get the biggest smiles out of him by brushing his lips with it! @Wineandchoccy I also do running commentaries 😂

Well guys I am peeved as I just went to the GP for our 12 week jabs and the appointment is tomorrow! While I am woolly at the moment I am 98% sure I did not make that mistake myself as I specifically remember thinking when it was booked that it was an annoying day as DS1 isn't at nursery so I would have to either bring him or sort child care! Oh well. I'm out now so will run a few errands...

@badbadbeans yay!! husband does the cleaning, think he uses a bottle brush or just a sponge and then we put it in the steriliser each day. I think it must depend on your breast size etc as I get on really well with it and don't have any leaks but other friends haven't had as much success. Think I recall an earlier chat where we said we had similar body sizes... Size 8, small breasts and on the taller side?!

@sheeni sounds like progress!! our next to me journey started like that too... For the first 8 weeks or so he wouldn't go in it and then gradually he started sleeping in it more and more, although even now it's still rare if he does the entire night in there. We always put him in at the start of the night and then take it from there. When he's been cold-y it's been a total no go to have him in his back though!

Along with the rest of SW London, we've had no water at all since 8.30am and no estimate about when it will be back on other than it's now beyond the "few hours tops" they told me at 9am.

@BadBadBeans haha yes he absolutely loves his lips being brushed with it. And now we get giggles if we very lightly touch the corner of it from one ear, over his head and down the other side and back to his mouth, it must tickle! Another one here doing commentaries. He finds me washing up fascinating. The conversations we have too are amazing, he proper takes it in turns too which makes me laugh!

That's annoying about the jabs, do you get a letter through for them or is it a phone appt so you cant really prove it one way or another?

@cardboard33 how frustrating having no water! Those few hours seem rather stretched! Hope it's back on for you soon!

We've just been to a Jo Jingles class. George had no clue what on earth was going on bless him. Not sure whether he enjoyed it but he was definitely taking it all in. Think I'll give it another go next week and decide from there.

Thanks all for the advice on calpol. She had her injection at 3.15 and she's been asleep since. Was anyone else's little ones sleepy after their 12 week ones?

@melissa112 How did you find the class? How old is your LO?
We just started a couple as well, one on Tue, another Wed. Yesterday he actually slept through all the fun (he was overtired as we had a chiro appt before the class). It was quite funny, as my DH went with us, so it was both of us looking at a sleeping baby while everyone else was singing etc
But today we had lots of fun, he wanted to chat with other babies, did tummy time like a champ and seemed to mostly enjoy it (apart from arm/hand massage, but it seemed like all babies hated that part). Fell asleep right after, bless him.
I'm glad he enjoyed himself a bit, as the previous trial classes were big flops.

@melissa112 aww!! It's probs a sensory shock for him! it took about 3-4 weeks for my baby to visibly enjoy it when we were there as before that he looked at everything suspiciously! Or cried.

@kee80 I don't really remember mine being sleepy at all after the 12 week jabs but maybe I'm imagining it? I think he was much more whimpering/needy when he was awake though.

I also think at this age they are learning/developing so much each week that there is such a big difference between say, 8 weeks and 11 weeks or 11 weeks and 14 weeks etc.

Also still no water beyond a trickle out the tap. They've set up water stations but assuming the pressure goes up as it gets more stable we should be ok as I managed to get about 15 L of bottled water earlier ahead of the masses as by 11ish all of the shops were out.

@cardboard33 maybe I'll get a brush. Although I think if I swill it immediately and then leave it filled with water until I come to wash it properly and sterilise it, theoretically no milk residue is going to dry on it... thinking about it I never scrubbed my electric breast pump components, just washed them immediately. Yes I'm also size 8 but I'm on the shorter side! Boobs are fairly.... shall we say present at the moment, but they've never been what anyone would call big, no! So yes maybe not having a huge amount of boob helps! I am really impressed with the pump. The number of times I've forgotten I've had the breast shell in and bent over and poured milk on myself / the baby / the carpet... The haakaa feels slightly more foolproof!

@melissa112 I love the turn taking thing! It's such an important part of development and I find it so fascinating how quickly babies start to do it! Language acquisition is just mad. No I booked the appointment over the phone. We are very rural and when I went to the surgery today all the clinics had actually finished so I couldn't have been squeezed in anyway - there was nobody to do it! Never mind - it just gives me a reason to leave the house again tomorrow!

@kee80 I remember my eldest sleeping a phenomenal amount after either the 12 or 16 week jabs but unhelpfully I can't remember which!

Had a lovely chat with two ladies in the village car park today (I was blocking their car doors while I strapped J into his car seat and they were waiting patiently). They did the standard admire-the-baby thing and then one of them said, 'isn't he lucky to have you for his mum?' I just thought it was the nicest thing to say! I hadn't done anything special to make her say that so I kind of hope she says it to every younger mum she meets. I also had a lady full of admiration for me changing him in an awkward position on a tiny toilet floor in a cafe when I took him out for the first time - I forget how old he was, maybe 3 or 4 weeks? - and she was so encouraging and it made me feel so good. I really must remember to pay this back in the future!

Thanks again for the advice. She's awake now but she'd not had a nap at all today so maybe that's the reason she had a good few hours sleep