February 2019 babies - thread 2

[Celebelly]

New thread, ladies!

16w jabs done😥 hoping for a not too bad rea this time!

*reaction!

@detachablehoof. Hope your little one is ok! We have our next jabs booked for the 18th. Can’t wait until they are over since the next ones aren’t until 12 months!

Can someone help with a childcare question please.....my maternity leave ends mid Jan 2020 although I am due some holidays so probably won’t go back to work until end Jan or early Feb. When do I need to start looking at nurseries? How much notice do you need to give in order to secure a place for early next year? I am hoping to enrol for 3 days a week as both sets of grandparents have hinted that they would babysit a day each (still need to discuss this further with them though!)

@bubblybrit I think it depends on where you live. With our first DS we went looking when he was about 5 months old and paid a deposit for him to start at 10 months. They need a few weeks induction period as well before they start full time. That seems normal for where we live but I've had friends (especially in London) who have paid deposits before the babies even born to secure a place. I think if I were you I would start looking around sooner rather than later as you may find only the less appealing nurseries are left for you!

The ladies in my antenatal group all have nursery spots reserved already!

Thanks @maxiflump1. My DH is on annual leave shortly so we will probably have a look then. I’m not even sure where the nurseries are in our area! Guess it’s better to be early rather than late. Will just need to see what the grandparents are wanting to do so we know if we are looking at full time or part time care!

Now that is organised @Celebelly!

I haven't even thought about it but I'm self-employed and not sure what I'm going to do about going back to work

I’m really not sure what to do. We also thought a childminder may be an option but unsure if they are more or less expensive than a nursery! I’m not really that keen on leaving DD but not returning to work really isn’t an option....especially as id love a second child at some point! X

@bubblybrit childminders tend to be a bit cheaper than nursery but we chose a nursery for the following reasons:

A) if childminder is sick you have to take day off

B) most of our local childminders have school age children and so take their holidays in the school holidays. That meant that we also had to take leave to cover their leave and therefore have to pay school holiday prices. Nursery is open 51 weeks a year and we have been able to use our holiday to go in breaks in June/September etc.

C) The two childminders we saw did Primary school drop off and pick ups everyday and had to take baby in buggy across main roads. I was more comfortable leaving him in nursery and knowing he was there all day iyseim.

It is a personal choice however and I know people prefer childminders and it's more one to one than a nursery. I would recommend viewing some nurseries and childminders as you will get a feel for them. We knew right away our nursery was right and didn't get that feeling anywhere else.

@bubblybrit you could try www.childcare.co.uk. They have a search tool so you put in your postcode and they bring up the nurseries and childminders close to you and they are reviewed as well

Thank you @maxiflump1. There are a few things that you have mentioned that I hadn’t even considered. I went to a childminder when I was young but my mum was a primary school teacher so point B wouldn’t have impacted her. I didn’t even think how holidays would impact those who work term time! Yikes....think I have some researching to do! Thanks for the link also. I’ll have a look tomorrow.

I had my eldest booked in and deposit paid before she was born! But we wanted to be certain she'd get a full time place at the nursery attached to my husband's school.

My Feb baby is also booked in already. The existing nursery gave notice that they are closing down, so we had to look at alternatives. I actually had to have the baby on a waiting list (to start end November), but I've now been offered the 4 days a week that I wanted.

It all depends on how popular the nursery you prefer is. Staff ratios for under 2s is high so there tends to be less places available.

Does anyone have a checklist of the type of things to look at for a nursery? Ive started looking last few weeks but feeling so out my depth tbh.

Im wondering if a nursery is right for us. I have to travel alot for work. So considering a whole career change. So wondering if a childminder could be bit more flexible. Im debating getting an aupair to fill in the gaps for wrap around care. But unsure.

@Notquiteagandt Quite a lot of it comes down to practically and also gut feeling when you visit. Here are some things I made sure to check when visiting nurseries:

•Are nappies provided? (Or are they happy to use cloth?)
•Are meals included in cost? Ask to see a sample menu.
•What's the policy on giving Calpol (eg for teething temperature)? (Mine sends them home! Not helpful if they're struggling for a few days!
•Will will they keep you updated?
•What is the policy on adding additional days (or swapping days)? Costs?
•Talk through any additional needs, and watch their reaction! My eldest had to have super smooth purées and a close eye at meal times due to the high chance of food getting stuck. They weren't phased at all! I've heard of other settings that just didn't give accommodating vibes.

Childminders can be more flexible, but at the end of the day they have space for (say) 4 children. They will want 4 children in and paying as much as possible! Also, they will be tied to things like school runs. Nannies and au pairs means you'll be an employer, so you'll need to do all the research on wages, pensions, annual leave etc, though I believe there are companies that will manage that for you (at a cost!).

It is a minefield, and so important to get right! I've had to do it all again as our current nursery closes next month. I'm still stressing about my choice! Doesn't help that I'm comparing it to the current place though.

It's important to go and have a look at nurseries, ideally when the nursery children are there to see how the staff and children interact. We saw a few with dd and ruled one out because they passed the children around so much (a boy wanted to see his older sister so the staff member showing us around took him but then passed him to someone else before we got to his sister's room). I didn't like the idea that it would be Chinese whispers to find him if someone asked. We ruled one out because I could never get through on the phone and went with one we liked and had won awards. The one we chose had a massive change of staff and went downhill very rapidly. We then switched to the one who didn't answer the phone and it's lovely! It turns out I couldn't get through because the older children were out on a trip and the others were playing in the garden. Ds will go to the same nursery. I suppose what I'm saying is see where you think is best but keep reevaluating. It took us a while to decide to move dd and I regret not doing it sooner. She's much happier in the new one and her development came on loads quite quickly after moving. I think she'd been held back at the old one.

Balance cost, location, hours and feel. We have had family help and 2 days of nursery. We looked at several locally but were happy with our choice and signed DD1 up at 3 months owing to waiting list.

It’s gut feeling more than anything tbh. And how they manage routine / naps etc for little Teenies. Au pairs can’t have sole charge before child is 2. I’m uncomfortable with one person having sole charge with no oversight from others when my child is very small but that’s just me. For us a nanny is just too expensive in London (have done the maths) even compared with full time nursery.

I’m dreading working out the balance - esp as it’s only for 8 months before DD1 starts school and I have to come up with a whole new plan!

How long did your little ones take to recover from the 16w jabs? My little girl seems to be really off colour again today 😭

also what puts me off child minder / nanny is the whole being tied to holidays thing.

Oh and super important point re calpol - ask them honestly. Ours will administer (with permission) and accept them if they’ve had it at home and will only call for you to collect if temp isn’t going down. Antibiotics fine as long as it’s not within the first 24h of them having them for the first time. If you’re working it’s a bloody nightmare if the nursery has stupid rules about stuff like this. Unfortunately there are going to be times when as working parents you’ll have to drop them at nursery when they’re less than 100% which is tough, but why I’m glad we had family help as my eldest was super unwell a lot. But if you have good and caring vibes from the staff then they can give cuddles etc...

@Notquiteagandt

Although nanny wise a few have said about annual leave. You can put in contract they take annual leave when you do. Or alternatively to keep it fair you can split 50/50 annual leave so she chooses 14 days and you chose 14 days.

The reason I'd chose nanny over nursery is 1:1 care. They're in their own home. They can have a routine kept. Big bonus is you get home from work to a Fed, bathed and pj-ed baby with all of the nursery duties complete. Depending on your hours nannies can be cheaper especially if you opt for them to be self employed so you don't pay pensions/tax/NI etc yourself.

Last set of jabs have been awful here. Very upset baby and he reacted to the plasters too so all swollen and red!

Hi all,

Believe we have begun sleep regression here. Feeling very despondent. Only a few nights but already struggling when I had been feeling a lot better. It has taken 90 mins to get her to go back to sleep this morning, to the point where I’d usually be getting her up! We are so confused re them ‘self soothing’ and bad habits. Some sites say 4mo can’t self soothe and others say they can, and they all seem to differ on what that means anyway!

Haven’t had the all clear from the cardiologist, her murmur has gone but her ecg was abnormal. The cardiologist said we should wean her early as she’s so big, so am getting a Tripp Trapp off eBay. Absolutely no idea where to start and I don’t think she’s quite ready, although she’s become interested in me eating. She’s strong in her body and head but she doesn’t really like being in a chair! I need one of those jumperoo things I think.

Does anyone know what this is? Wasn’t there last night but is now on her arms, chest and sides? Baby A is completely fine apart from this so wasn’t sure if it was just a heat rash?

@bubblybrit - does it blanch when you press it / run a glass over it?