The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #1

[Angelmiracle]

Congratulations to all the mamas with their new babies 🌸

Now the fun really starts 😄

@toastfiend - baby boy - 28/01/2019
@TheWanderlust - Baby girl - Althea - 7lb6oz - 16/02/2019
@PurpleFlower1983 - Baby girl - Matilda - 17/02/2019
@Wineandchoccy - Baby girl - Lois - 6lb12oz - 19/02/2019
@Harley8888 - Baby boy- Logan - 7lb4oz - 01/03/2019

Hi everyone had my baby girl Tuesday just thought I'd join this thread now.

All is going well baby is a night owl for the past 2 nights all she's wanted to do from about 7pm-4am is feed or suck and not want to be put down.
Please tell me this doesn't last forever nipples are getting really sore now

Hi ladies, baby Matthew rushed into the world on Friday 22nd, his due date at 5:39 weighing 8lb 6oz.

Will update about birth etc at some point but currently looking for those with tongue tie experience. His first breast feed after birth was bliss, no pain at all so after DS1s issues, I was thrilled. But then he was just sleepy and didn't feed much at all for the rest of the day and night. When he does feed, it's like he doesn't open his mouth wide enough to get a good latch but I wondered if this was due to being sleepy.

Tonight he's started properly rooting and has fed regularly for 20-30 mins each time. Each latch hurts and boobs are now sore so the full feed seems to hurt. He just jumped while "feeding" when he was nearly asleep and took my nipple with him so bugger me did I cry out.

Anyway midwife looked today and said maybe tongue tie, he's being referred. She mentioned expressing to help if he's not feeding well & to get supply up. I agreed but then wondered after she'd gone whether that would be a problem with nipple confusion or something.

As I said, he feeds for a good while and falls asleep towards the end mostly so I would guess he's getting what he wants as he's not fussy after. Had a few wees & poos since birth so definitely eaten something.

It could be a week or two for TT referral so I'm just wondering what to do for the best in the meantime? Keep bf through the pain, expressing as well / instead of?

Hi @Jenfur no tongue tie advice but did want to wish you congratulations!

@Jenfur my first daughter had tongue tie which wasn’t cut until she was 6 weeks. Nobody would listen to me when I said she had one so that’s why it was not cut until 6 weeks.
I pushed through it I used nipple shields to help with the pain it’s hard work and very uncomfortable though

@kee80 Welcome! My baby is almost 3 weeks old & we've had quite a few shocking all night cluster feeds too - so I really sympathise. It's exhausting & often ends with me in tears telling my DH I can't do it any more.
It's my first child so can't tell you when it'll stop, but people on here have assured me that it does... 🤞

Welcome @kee80! I also have an almost 3wk old cluster feeder! Co sleeping is really helping us (although I know that isn’t for everyone). It really doesn’t last forever though! I think around wk10 they start knowing day from night - which I realise sounds an eternity away when you’re shattered!

DD is a sleepy baby, but happily putting on weight. She have meant to just express and not give the milk, just using the pump to help build up your supply.
If you did want to offer then cup feed rather than bottle to avoid the confusion - it uses the same muscles as bf.

@kee80 congratulations! All babies are different, but mine had a couple of night owl nights and then last night (9 days old) he managed to let me sleep in two 3-hour chunks. Be vigilant about latch and use lanolin before and after feeds. Also try massaging a little breast milk into the nipple after a feed and letting it air dry before applying the lanolin. (A midwife told me the breast milk thing yesterday when I rang up in desperation! I'm very very very sore too.)

@Jenfur Congratulations! But ugh, tongue tie sucks. DS1 had it and it wasn't spotted until 6 weeks because I had so much milk that he was gaining weight really quickly, so the HCPs weren't worried about the feeding. Use nipple shields to give you relief. You're not supposed to use them over damage that's already there but the midwife I spoke to yesterday said sometimes it just helps people keep going. Also try expressing off a bit before each feed so that your boob isn't so hard - it's tricky for them to latch when the boobs are super full. That said I can never be arsed to express off, especially in the middle of the night which is when my boobs tend to be fullest. In all honesty with DS1 by 6 weeks it had got so bad that I had to express round the clock for two or three days in a row and totally bottle feed him because my boobs were in agony. I wouldn't necessarily recommend doing that - I nearly lost my sanity over the pumping, sterilising, feeding, sterilising, pumping routine. I did that a few times over the course of our breastfeeding journey - his initial frenulotomy didn't totally work and it wasn't diagnosed again until he was 5.5 MONTHS old! Keep asking for help. Good luck xx

@kee80 I've got a 3 week old who was the same, particularly in week 0 and 1. He would just go for 10 min feeds or so continuously. The last few days/week we've moved onto a more continuous feed pattern where he will go for 30-40 mins and act like if he doesn't get it all NOW that it won't be there later. Sometimes he will stop around 20 mins but I know it's just for a breather and then he will be on the move again, and he does this every 2-3 hours which is better in the sense it's more predicable, particularly at nights. He still doesn't want to sleep in his crib at night though so we do the crib during the day and the rocker chair at night...!

(Apparently this is normal, the wisdom of non first timers on here have assured me...)

@jenfur no experience, sorry, but have had friends who had tounge tie on their baby and it sounds a nightmare!

@badbadbeans did reply a few days ago but again it doesn't seem to have posted. Your kids are so lucky that they've got 4 generations in the same household, although v glad you've also got/getting your own space with kitchens etc. I couldn't share with so many people, it'd be like being a student again!!

@kee80 @Jenfur congratulations!

Just catching up whilst feeding LO. Sounds like people are settling into things fairly well. We're on day 10 and breastfeeding is going well (nipples almost healed) but sleeping is hit and miss. Co-slept last night which was ok but really keen to get her back in her cot at night.

Thanks all for your comments and advice.

Had a better night last night, managed to settle her about 12
She slept till 3am (on my chest) woke again at 5 for a little feed then went back at the side of me in her crib till about 8.30.

It's amazing what a couple of hours extra sleep can do for you!

Hey all! Just checking out this thread while breastfeeding my little boy. He's got a lazy latch and doesn't get it right or changes latch half of the time, which I could cope with if I could bf from both breasts, but thanks to inverted nipple I have to express the other one. So my breastfeeding nipple is already getting sore.
It's day two and we didn't manage to get him to sleep in his cot yet at all. I am so worried about coping with this for much longer. My back is killing me from holding him for hours and the sitting can't be good for my stitches.
Sorry, just needed to off load a bit, but would appreciate any advice, of course.

@Sheeni can you try to latch baby after the pump has been on? Or does your nipple not pull out? It's so difficult getting the latch in the early days and having to push through the pain sucks. We didn't get baby to sleep in her cot until night 4 and only for short bursts since. It will come but we're still struggling with it on day 10.

@Sheeni have you tried a nipple shield? I have seen you can get a little pump thing made by lansinoh that is for inverted nipples no idea if it works but might be worth a try.

Hello @Jenfur we have a posterior tongue tie & are going through the referral process atm. 2nd assessment on Tuesday. Baby 3weeks old tomorrow. After a rocky start we are EBF and my nipples are okay, though having to be really strict with the latch as he's prone to slipping off as soon as I shift my weight back / try to get comfy, or they get sore pretty quickly.
He was gaining weight at 14 days so I hope this continues & we can avoid the surgery as I believe with posterior it's less likely to be effective & it's quite invasive for baby.
What's your situation?

Can I ask what everyone is using to keep baby warm at night in cot/Moses basket?
She sleeps in vest and baby grow and I also took a cellular blanket around her. (The little time she sleeps in cot) is this ok?

@kee80 I'm doing exactly the same as you. Vest, sleepsuits and cellular blanket. Have a slightly heavier blanket if the room feels a bit too cool but little man seems to kick this off a lot which I reckon is his way of saying it's too heavy or he's too hot. The cellular blankets are lighter I think.

@kee80 hat, vest, babygro and then a doubled over knitted blanket on top. We live in an old, cold house!

Losing my shit a bit tonight. Had an amazing day of feeding - excellent latches, no pain. Get past 7pm and it all goes to pot. I feel like some sadist has been applying items from their tool chest to my left boob 😭 I was militant about latch and took him off about 8 times but to little avail. After we had finished I had to lie him down and go and sit on the other side of the room to get a grip of myself. I find that I get so angry with myself - the frustration that I feel at the feeding not going right comes out as self-loathing. I get so frustrated that my body won't do what I want it to do. This was especially hard with DS1 because I felt I had failed at giving birth, ending up as I did with an EMCS, and I didn't want to feel like I had failed at breastfeeding too. This time I have a lot more perspective and have tried to be kinder to myself, so it's taken me aback a bit this evening when I started thinking horrible things about myself again. DH came in while I was crying over the feeding and said a couple of supportive things but he's not really one for emotional support - he's a practical person and the support he offers is usually practical. So he took himself off to bed so that he can give me a break again later if needed.

@Sheeni I'm sorry you are having a tough time. Hopefully you can find a little comfort seeing that lots of us are going through something similar?

@cardboard33 we do have a cooking and cleaning rota to ensure things don't descend into student house share type scenarios! I am looking forward to having my own kitchen though and being able to find where I've put things because three people won't have used and moved them in between 😂

Well it's been a struggle to get baby J to sleep tonight. Normally he falls asleep feeding but tonight he was wide awake! Snoozing now though. Fingers crossed for a good three hours for me!

@Sheeni Sorru you're having such a rough time. I can't offer much advice on the nipple pain but I also started getting dreadful backache and have found a few things help: I got a BF cushion which is great as a you don't have to carry baby to get them to the right height. I went got one of the kidney bean shape ones which is working well , though there are other shapes you can try. My local BF clinic had a selection you can test.
I also stopped feeding in bed during the night, partly as was so afraid of falling asleep but also because the headboard was not supportive & my back was starting to hurt so much. We went to Ikea & bought a VEDBO chair (high back version) which is so much more comfy. I use it with a small firm cushion in the small of my back & a small cushion under my feet so that I can lean back while keeping my feet flat on the ground.
During the day I use loads of cushions on a hard backed sofa. The thing I haven't sussed is how to feed comfortably whilst out of the house. I took my pillow to Ikea but this isn't always practical ! Yesterday I managed a quick feed on a park bench in Koala & then cradle pose but my back was sore quickly & my latch wasn't vest which made me sore. How are others coping with this?

@kee80 baby sleeps in long sleeved vest, babygro & a 'grobag' with his arms out. We heat the room to 21. We did a few nights in just vest + babygro but I think he got cold. During the day vest + babygro usually enough, sometimes with cellular blanket.

@sheeni I've found the opposite to the others & it's way more comfortable feeding in a "relaxed" position with cushions. I started out sitting up straight with pillows etc as that's how they told me to do it in the hospital but have realised it's easier/comfier if I put him across me and lie semi down rather than trying to hold him in place. We are 3 weeks down the line and haven't really had issues with latching (touch wood) but just thought I'd say as then you can have multiple positions to try.

Also for those who have nipple pain, I've found Savoy cabbage to be a good pain relief (in many ways more effective than the lansinoh cream) and it's way cheaper. It was mentioned at NCT so thought I'd give it a try and so far so good. As I said I haven't had anywhere near the pain that you ladies are probably experiencing but worth a punt for less than £1 as I'm still on my first cabbage!

Clothing: we are doing a sleeveless vest with a long sleeved baby grow plus swaddle in a cellular blanket or gro swaddle. Occasionally been using a gro bag instead. Our house is around 18 degrees and this is what the gro bag website said to put them in with that temperature, although I'm concerned he's too cold given I've got to wear more clothes than that...!

Thanks ladies.
@BadBadBeans I feel you about the nipple pain at night, mines also the left one. It gets me down too, I was seriously think about switching to formula due to pain and the constant wanting to feed after 7pm till about 2am. Than I had a break down over it!

@KarBB think I will get some long sleeved vest and and grow bag.
Do you keep the room at 21 all through the night? I put my thermostat at 18-19 and leave the heating on all night. She feels a little cold in the night then red hot in the morning!

Sorry that many are struggling with nipple pain. I still have a little wince when he first latches but it seems to ease after a few seconds. However as we've been combi feeding I can see him sometimes unlatch and then grab back on as though it's a bottle teat, its so painful! Especially if his little hands are uncovered and he gets a handful of boob between his nails!

For overnight we have baby in short sleeved vest, babygrow and one or two celluar blankets depending on the temp. We try to keep the gro egg around 18/19 so would then use two light celluar blankets but sometimes it creeps just over 20 even with a window cracked so then we'll just use one. Think that is what the gro egg instructions say but I'm still paranoid hes too hot or cold..

DP has left for his first day back at work today. I had a mini break down of tears when he left. I've enjoyed having this time off as a little family so much that I feel quite down and will miss him a lot. And more practically I'm wondering how I'm going to be able to put baby down long enough to get dressed before the health visitor comes at 9:30, do his washing, sort out other house bits or even feed myself without him screaming as he's been cluster feeding since 5am. How have others coped when DP have gone back to work?

@melissa112 baby finger nails are horrifically painful!

I've got no advice about coping when DH goes back to work, sorry! Mine works from home so while he's in his workroom most of the day, I know I can shout him if I really need to.

My challenge at the moment is keeping DD1 happy which has meant managing a few temper tantrums over the last week. I'm sure things will settle down soon enough, but the guilt isn't much fun at the moment.

@MistakenHoliday Oh that's lovely that your DH works from home, I'd love that. I find it hard with just the baby so I really take my hat off for those with other DC too.

I'm not sure if this is a stupid question but I've been reading the SIDS information where it says that baby has to go to sleep on their back etc. However sometimes he just wont settle in his moses basket so he just sleeps cuddled on me or DP but is this safe if hes not on his back? I never gave it a second thought before but should I be persevering more with getting him down in his moses basket. Even if he falls asleep on me he seems to wake the minute we put him down and starts crying so we pick him back up. Don't want to do anything unsafe but its all new to me!