The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #1

[Angelmiracle]

Congratulations to all the mamas with their new babies 🌸

Now the fun really starts 😄

@toastfiend - baby boy - 28/01/2019
@TheWanderlust - Baby girl - Althea - 7lb6oz - 16/02/2019
@PurpleFlower1983 - Baby girl - Matilda - 17/02/2019
@Wineandchoccy - Baby girl - Lois - 6lb12oz - 19/02/2019
@Harley8888 - Baby boy- Logan - 7lb4oz - 01/03/2019

@melissa112 @KarBB I'm so glad I'm not the only one with a grump for a DH! I was this close to packing his bags and sending him to the MIL's so he remembers how good he has it here 😀

@cardboard33 it's ridiculous isn't it?! At first I was angry and then I thought, well duh, no one likes doing grown up stuff, do they? I'm not dancing a jig every week when I clean the bathroom so 🤷🏼‍♀️ Foolish boy 😂

@Melissa112 We used sleeping bags from this site with DS1 and used their tog guide for temperature and what to wear -
www.slumbersac.co.uk/tog

DS1 was always quite a hot baby but he slept through from 9 weeks old so was clearly content enough using their temperature guide. The bags are quite expensive (to me at least but not compared to gro bags, I think) but they often have sales on as long as you're not too fussy on design.

I think baby needs to be 9lbs to wear them so haven't started with DS2 yet but he's being weighed tomorrow so I'm hoping we'll be using them after that.

@BadBadBeans that's good news about your consultant and the tongue tie especially, hopefully you can start to feel a lot better now. I use either rugby hold or have him lying on a pillow so I'm not sure about how to feed in public. I also think our latch could be improved but haven't got round to going to a breastfeeding group yet. I have bigger boobs and find cradle hold feels uncomfortable and smothers baby, has anyone with bigger boobs managed this comfortably?

So my midwife has been . Baby for weighed and she has gained really well for a BF baby . She was initially 7lb 1.75oz then dropped to 7lb 0.3oz on day 5 and now she is 7lb 5oz. So she said I don't need to wake her up for feeds every 3 hours like I have been doing that she's happy for me to leave her at night until she wants feeding as long as it's not ridiculous which It won't be as she usually wakes herself anyhow . Told her about my mood and they are going to come and see me weekly . To keep an eye on Me

@Jenlou1992 great news on the weight gain! And glad to hear they're going to keep an eye on your mood... sounds like a productive day you've had!
I'm wondering where my day has gone - I've done 2 loads of washing and other than that sat in the sofa all day, boobing with the baby!

@Jenlou1992 so pleased for you about babies weight! Hopefully you'll get a good 4 hour stretch of sleep tonight in between her feeds and start to feel more rested! Do you feel Abit more at ease now?

@Jenlou1992 good news about weight gain, hopefully you can get some uninterrupted sleep and feel better soon. Glad they're going to check how you're doing, well done for asking for help.

I'm struggling big time with an overtired baby. We've only managed one nap today, been awake but obviously tired outside of that nap. I can't seem to be able to get him to sleep. We swaddle, we rock, we shh, we pat the bum, white noise is on, blinders are closed. Still no sleep and a fussy baby. The only way I got him to nap even that once was to let him sleep next to me on big bed, which is a step back from the two days we've managed in the Moses basket.
It's making me very unhappy. He's 2w+3d and I feel like we should have this figured out by now. Why does he not fall asleep if he's tired? I'm even putting him down when he starts showing the first signs of tiredness etc., but he just lies there, stares and eventually starts fussing and crying, no matter what I do.
I feel like a bad mum when I can't even settle my baby

@Sheeni we're 5w tomorrow and daytime naps just happen when DS falls asleep on the boob & then I hold him on me. He also sleeps in the pram, sling or car seat but only if we take him out somewhere. I think that's pretty normal tbh. He occasionally sleeps in his pram bassinet in the floor during the day but only for short periods. I think at this early stage it's pretty normal to be all over the place with naps & sleeps!

@Jenlou1992 well done on the weight gain! And it's great news hat they're going to keep an eye on you - definitely the right thing to do to tell them 

@Sheeni you're not a bad mum at all! I'm on my second and I still haven't figured it out. We're a bit like @KarBB and just let DD boob to sleep. She'll sometimes go in her basket or the bouncy chair drowsy and drop off that way but more often than not well let her go to sleep in our arms and transfer her. I'm not sure they have the capacity to self soothe at this age - they're still so new and attached to us.

Then from about 6pm she's in the tiger in the tree pose to stop the evening grumbles. I'm just about to feed her now and put her in the side-sleeper - she tends to be going off around 9-ish, though that's always subject to change!

Have you tried a sling? A walk in the pram? Fresh air does wonders for getting even a fussy baby to sleep and getting out might make you feel better too. It does get easier.

Hi all,

So I had a really good day and did a buggy walk with a local mum and baby group this morning. Was probably around 3.5 miles long. Felt so good getting out in the fresh air though and get moving again (I'm a runner and missing it badly). But now worried I've over done it as I noticed some fresh blood on my maternity pad and seem to be bleeding from the site of where my stitches would have been. It's not excessive but had a look with a mirror between my legs and definitely bleeding out of that area. Feels mildly uncomfortable and no other symptoms. Now wondering do I just keep an eye or should I get it checked out with the health visitor or the GP. Has anyone else had anything similar?

@Jenfur have you tried pressing a finger onto your breast near baby's nose while feeding? Tends to give them a bit of space to breathe if they are getting squashed by boob! Annoying though as it means you haven't got a free hand.

@Jenlou1992 great news about the weight gain and that you will have some extra visits. Well done.

@KarBB I only managed one laundry load!

@Sheeni oh you never figure them out - or sometimes you think you have but then they change tack just to keep you on your toes! People talk about the fourth trimester as well and I do think there is truth in that - the babies just want to be held and touched and feel warmth and a heartbeat in these early months. Bloody annoying when you need a nap yourself but certainly does not mean you are a bad parent!

@ballanj oooh I'm itching for a good walk but haven't managed to time it with feeds and child care for DS1 yet. See if you are still bleeding tomorrow and if so it wouldn't hurt to check with a midwife. Are you Sure it was the stitches that were bleeding and that it wasn't all lochia?

I have had 3 hrs sleep so far tonight and have eaten a lot of chocolate to get me through. After all our latch success with the consultant this morning I can't bloody get him to latch on the right side at all! I have a massive let down and the little bugger latches to start it and then lets go and just sits on the end of my nipple, unlatched, letting it all flow into his mouth. So frustrating! It feels horrible and tingly/prickly all over now because he hasn't emptied it. I don't want to end up with blockages so I'm sitting up now waiting for him to get hungry enough to try again!

@sheeni it’s such early days still! I second the suggestion of fresh air - DS is 5wks and almost all his daytime sleep is in either the pram or carrier. Do you have outside space at home? I sometimes walk him round the yard in the pram to get him off to sleep then wheel him in so I can doze on the sofa myself while he sleeps. I’d really reccomend a Close Caboo carrier for when you’re trying to get stuff done around the house - DS usually dozes off in his. Personally, I’m a big believer in the 4th trimester - good sleep habits can come later. It is really, really hard but it sounds like you’re doing brilliantly!

Adela loved her first time in the Baby K’Tan. She fell asleep in her own vomit she also loves the car seat. Looking forward to getting her out in the pram as my sciatica has finally eased off a bit.

Anyone else got a Darth Vaby?! So noisy last night snuffling, snoring, DH is at the end of his tether and moving into the spare room tonight. :(

@badbadbeans I know you’ve had expert advice all I can say is despite our issues when we’re both calm is when we’re most successful. I try to drop my shoulders, take a deep breath, etc. Skin to skin always get her interested in the boob although ragey because her tongue tie makes life difficult. Could you express your boob to make it more comfy or are you wanting baby to get on? Hope you crack it x

Death Vaby @Gronk27 😂 I have one too! Said to DH this morning it's like sleeping with a warthog! I wake up and think she wants feeding but, nope, she's happily asleep.

Thanks @BadBadBeans I don't think it was lochia as completely different colour bright red. Also had a look down there with mirror and seemed to be bleeding from the actual tear or cut itself. It's stopped and feels better today. I'll keep an eye on it and take it easier over the next few days.

Can I just say to everyone breastfeeding you're all heroes! I'm grumbling at my lack of sleep but at least with a bottle I know exactly where I'm at so to speak. Have much admiration for you ladies xx

Hi all,

Haven't caught up since my DS was born two weeks ago today by emergency section. It's been a difficult journey so far. We were in hospital for 6 days due to an infection that couldn't be found, treated with strong IV antibiotics for both of us.

Being home was great until I had a literal fit at home when changing his nappy, after days of ambulances/A&E visits/GP visits I was finally readmitted yesterday. Have infection of scar and leak in spine due to epidural.

Honestly feeling deflated, holding baby causes pain, feeding baby causes pain and I can't change nappies due to bending/lifting ban. I love him so much and his dads being a superhero but I feel like I've missed out on so much already.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing okay. This mum thing is hard work but definitely worth it! Sending you all positive vibes xx

@caseofellen I am so sorry you’re having a tough time. Positive vibes right back at you, you Superwoman you! I had an infection too but nothing like what you’ve been through! Be kind to yourself. You can love your baby and that’s the most inportant thing x

@CaseofEllen you poor thing that’s a rough start to motherhood I hope you are on the road to recovery soon x

Thank you @KarBB @MistakenHoliday @Hermagsjesty @BadBadBeans. I felt like it should be different by now. You read everywhere that you should try and sleep when the baby is sleeping, which obviously isn't an option with the sling or pram. He had a decent nap today after his cranial chiro treatment and I got a bit hopeful, but he refused to be put down after his next feed again.
He's now on a walk with DH and I should have a nap, but I'm honestly more stressed than if he would be crying at home. Does anyone else have this? I just can't relax when he's not nearby, I feel almost sick with stress. Happens every time.
Had a look at the Close Caboo and I feel like it's too sling-like for me. I would be scared that I haven't done something properly. Can someone recommend a good baby carrier? Also, does anyone know if some shops let you try the carriers before you buy and maybe help with teaching how to use it correctly? It's quite an investment, so I don't want something that won't work for us.

@CaseofEllen Wow that sounds really tough. Hope things improve fast soon...
@Sheeni Where I live there is a sling hire service where you can test different ones out before you buy (it's in south london). Not sure what's availabin other area. I've heard that the ergo & baby Bjorn are the best ones. I'm going to hire an ergo next week & see how I like it!

@sheeni - if you look up “sling libraries” there will hopefully be one close to you, they have loads of different kinds for you to test out. For a more structured carrier, I’d recommend a Connecta - my now 5yo lived in his when he was little. I know exactly what you mean about getting anxious when baby is not by - I am exactly the same. I think it’s natural when they’re so small and dependent.

@caseofellen you poor thing! That sounds horrible. Hopefully you’re being well looked after. Try not to worry too much about missing out - you and your little one have a life time of cuddles to come.

@WhatALearningCurve that's good that he's not fussy with the milk temp, it can take ages to warm up those premade ones! George has made it clear in no uncertain terms will he have it at room temp, his face is so funny if we try! Hope the walk worked yesterday!

@BadBadBeans glad the session with the consultant went well but sorry that you've struggled overnight. Hope you had some success with the right side when he woke up again?

@Jenfur thanks for the link to the sleeping bags, the temperature chart is really useful!

@Jenlou1992 thats great news about the weight gain, are you feeling any better today?

@Sheeni i feel like i could have written your post and baby is 4 weeks yesterday and i still can't figure out how to settle him at times. You definitely are not a bad mum, it's so tricky to get them to sleep when they are overtired, i really feel your pain. We also have the white noise going etc. Do you find that once you do get baby to sleep that they sleep really lightly after going a while without it? I've still not been out without George and felt uneasy just going to bed and leaving him with DP for 20mins before he brought him up so I'd definitely feel the same if DP took him out without me being there.

@ballanj your walk sounds lovely, hope the bleeding has continued to ease off

@Gronk27 Darth Vaby 🤣🤣 love it! But yes, George snores too. I didn't realise what it was at first. DP does too so I'm surrounded when in bed!

@CaseofEllen you poor thing, that sounds awful. Hope things recover quickly for you

We had our consultant appt today after the scan on George's lump last week. They said its definitely a tear on his muscle but because he's willing to turn his head towards it they don't think it's bothering him and so no need for physio as it should go on its own

However they did weigh him and he was 3.786kgs. I didn't even think to take my red book as wasn't expecting him to be weighed so they couldn't plot it. Ive plotted it myself when i got in and he's previously been on the 50th percentile and going by that at 4 weeks he should have been around 4.3kg and hes 4 weeks and 1 day and if he was 4 weeks he'd be under the 25th percentile. Not sure where we're going wrong as i actually thought he would be closer to 9lbs which judging by his like he should be. I've left a message with the health visitor to see if we need to worry

@Sheeni see if there are any sling libraries near you the nct often have groups that you can go to. The close caboo is really easy to use once you have done it a couple of times. I also have a Tula but even with the newborn insert dd is still a bit small.

@CaseofEllen that sounds horrific for you both, but especially you. It sounds like DH is looking after you but here's some and  to help you through x

@Sheeni we have a sling library at our local SureStart centre too - apparently there a queue out the door each week of people wanting to borrow one! We have a ring sling, a jersey one and an Ergo. The Ergo is good if you want structure but they need the newborn insert for a little while.

@BadBadBeans I'm so sorry the feeding is still a struggle. Fingers crossed things are improving for you.

My ma was here today for her weekly day with DD1. I managed to paint the girls room, go to Ikea and put DD2's cot up in their room. I think I'll be sore in the morning. DD2's new bed is being delivered on Friday so there'll be more to do in there at the end of the week, including sneaking out as much of her tat as I can and taking it to the tip!

Tomorrow we're off to register DD2's birth and then I think we'll take it easy