The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #1

[Angelmiracle]

Congratulations to all the mamas with their new babies 🌸

Now the fun really starts 😄

@toastfiend - baby boy - 28/01/2019
@TheWanderlust - Baby girl - Althea - 7lb6oz - 16/02/2019
@PurpleFlower1983 - Baby girl - Matilda - 17/02/2019
@Wineandchoccy - Baby girl - Lois - 6lb12oz - 19/02/2019
@Harley8888 - Baby boy- Logan - 7lb4oz - 01/03/2019

Not sure if anyone here is eligible but has anyone applied for UC since giving birth? Currently trying to do the application and I swear it's making my brain hurt. I've rang the help line and the person I spoke to basically kept repeating what it says on the website which clearly didn't explain it well enough as if it did I wouldn't be ringing would I!

It seems to be really simple to fill in if you don't work but incredibly confusing if you work full time and are trying to apply on maternity pay!

@SquirtlesMumAgain I can believe the HV used broken scales & stressed you out like that. I'd be so cross!

@melissa112 I've heard that you can massage out the lumps to prevent blocked ducts, which I believe can lead to mastitis. I get these weird tingling pains in my boobs sometimes, particularly when out in the cold, and then they start to leak!!. And they are super sensitive to any fabric, except an old silk kimono I have l, touching them, so I like to leave them out to 'air' as much as I can when I'm home alone.

Hello all, I keep meaning to recommend a book called 'The positive breast feeding book' to anyone facing BF challenges. It's full of useful info & reassurance and says things like that even if you've only managed to BF for a week that's really wonderful so not to feel bad on yourself... it's a little bit evangelical on the benefits of BF so maybe not one to read if your on the 100% formula route but for anyone else I think it's a worthwhile resource that I wish I'd read sooner (before birth!) as I'm only half way through!

@melissa112 you sound like a woman with a plan!! Well done for pushing with the first doctor as that must have been hard for you. Wrt perfect prep, we've got one and there's lots of free videos & instructions on the Tommee Tippee website for cleaning. Sounds like you have done everything right so it might just be a coincidence but you could watch the videos etc to double check you've cleaned it properly before you use it again?

@badbadbeans & others, sorry you're going through a hard time. It must be so hard having to adapt your family dynamic now the new baby is here, particularly if you've then also got feeding issues.

@whatalearningcurve no advice but that sounds like a pain!! I hate it when people just read from info you've already read online like you're stupid.... Although from someone who has the pleasure of working with supposedly highly intelligent uni students on a daily basis, most of them don't read the website/instructions/use Google for stupid questions so sometimes you end up stating the obvious that is already online to the extent that I have no idea how else to phrase it and they still don't understand what to do!!

We've also started doing formula for one feed a day. My darling child wants so much food that I can't express enough as he's constantly on me so it was getting stressful. It was quite exciting setting up the perfect prep machine yesterday (clearly a first timer!!), our kitchen is now full of baby gagets like an electric steriliser ... What a difference a month makes!!!

@MistakenHoliday thank you for the solidarity. I know full well it's a totally natural response on DS's part and that he will come back to me in time, but I feel like my heart is breaking every time he turns away from me! I also feel guilty that I am neglecting him, but DH pointed out this morning that actually DS1 is having a perfectly marvellous time with Daddy / Grandpa / Nanny and isn't actually suffering. Hope you get some sleep this afternoon!

@Jenfur thanks for your support too. Sounds like we have a similar thing going on with our littlies! Breastfeeding group is an excellent suggestion. I have looked it up and there is one on Mondays in our area, so I am going to make an effort to attend next week. Your comment about the mum guilt made me smile. There's just no winning is there?! I will definitely make time for some 1-1 with my big boy tomorrow (he is at nursery today). I've been promising him I'll paint with him for the last three days, but the timings with feedings have always gone wrong... So tomorrow I WILL do it!

@KarBB I'm glad you think things are improving a bit. It is definitely night that is hardest. The last two feeds I've done today have been lovely - barely painful at all, and in the sunshine with the birds singing outside. I need to hold onto that when I am getting frustrated at night I think.

@SquirtlesMumAgain thank goodness! I'm glad she rang you to let you know.

@melissa112 well done for sticking to your guns and getting a second opinion. I really hope the scan comes through fast for you! Yes, J turns his head away from the boob a lot - and that is always when he opens his mouth the widest! ARGH! With the breast lump, try massaging it in the shower and also (if you can) as you feed. Also feel it before and after a feed - I get almost a chain of lumps underneath my boob when it's really full, but then after a feed they have gone away or at least significantly reduced. Also, as long as you've still got a milk supply then you should be able to build it up again by feeding / pumping so try not to worry.

@KarBB that tingling feeling is let down! It's such a weird sensation. And it's amazing what makes it happen too - I got it just from cuddling my toddler the other day. And when DS1 was about 3 months old I went to a gig and at the end of the show when everyone stood up and applauded I got the most ridiculously large let down of milk - went right through my T-shirt! Thank you for the book recommendation too.

@cardboard33 god the amount of baby gadgets/crap you accumulate is insane isn't it? A friend of mine who has lent me a load of stuff this time round texted me the other day saying she can't wait to have a second child, partly just because she wants to be able to permanently get rid of the baby parephernalia once she's done!

DH and I sat down this morning and made a list of things for me to do today so that I feel more positive by night time. I've specifically spent a couple of hours cuddling a sleeping J while reading a book so that I am actively enjoying him, rather than solely trying to plough through laundry etc. So that has made me feel a lot brighter!

@badbeans and @mistakenholiday I totally sympathise! My DS who is 5 tomorrow is struggling to adjust to the new arrival too. He’s absolutely lovely with the baby but very emotional and lots of attention seeking behaviour. So, solidarity! Keep telling myself it’ll pass. My DD (7) was the same when he was born and now they play beautifully together. I don’t know if it’s helpful, but I try to think of it as you’ve given them a friend for life - someone who’ll always love and look out for them so even though it’s hard now it’ll be worth it!

That's a really lovely way of looking at it @Hermagsjesty I keep telling myself that DD1 is getting more time with me now than she would be if I was working (full time, teacher) so even though she's struggling at the moment, she is getting more of 'me'. Plus, I'll be there for her first few months of school when she starts in September which I wouldn't have been had DD2 not turned up!

Definitely get massaging the lumps. You can get them before they properly become blocked ducts but they arent nice!
I had mastitis last time and it was horrific - definitely avoid it if at all possible!!!

DH goes back to work tomorrow. We have swimming for DS first thing and the HV coming to reweigh at 3pm. Glad she is coming as DD has had lovely green Nappies and been throwing up a lot of feeds today.....argh! Hopefully she will still have put on weight

Hello lovely people. 4 days in with baby boy. Breastfeeding not going well at all, he does not latch on although very interested in it. Have had lots of support but devastated (literally, milk was starting to come in) as he had lost 11.1% of his birth weight on day 3 😭 he is being topped up with formula altho atm he is having more formula than EBM. I still offer the breast first and do lots of skin to skin. Feel so disheartened and really hope he may latch on soon, the BF specialist who came round today said that he will eventually. Trying nipple shields tomorrow - bizarrely no shields in the right size nearby. He is due to be weighed tomorrow so fingers crossed he has put on. Has anyone else had these issues?

I’m so sorry also as I haven’t caught up with the thread - I can’t often put Frank down.

@Sictransitgloria I’m using nipple shields for some of the feeds due to her struggling to latch. She is 5 weeks now and we are probably using them for 50% of the feeds sometimes I start the feed with one then remove it part of the way through and she latches ok.
I have found the Medela shields the best.

I also have mum guilt I feel like I say in a minute, I’m just feeding Lois a lot to dd1 and she is so good but I feel bad
We have kept the childcare routine the same as if I was at work but in 4 weeks she is not going to nursery on a Friday so we can spend the day together. I have found a music & movement group that is for under 5’s and charges per family so we are going to go to that until she starts school in September.

@sictransitgloria DD is the same (though only lost 8.5%) - she will only latch with nipple shields, which is frustrating but she got feeding instantly once she had them.

@wineandchoccy I know what you mean about always saying I'm feeding. DS had been pretty good about it and we have tried adding in reading while I'm feeding which he likes

@SquirtlesMumAgain not sure if you have any but dd1 likes fuzzy felts and I can help her do those one handed while I feed although she did think it was funny to stick the pieces on Lois’s cardigan the other day

Hi! Hoping to join this thread for a little advice. Then I will try my best to keep up with posts!

My baby is now 2 weeks old, and I have been breastfeeding. At her 3 day weight check, she had lost a little too much weight, so midwife suggested topping up with formula. I was happy to do this because I was struggling so much with breastfeeding.

Baby’s weight has gone back up to birth weight. I’ve been trying to avoid bottles, but baby will feed for hours on me. Both midwife and health visiter day 30 min on me, then bottle.

Does everyone else find that baby is feeding for hours, or am I not making enough milk for her?!

Thanks in advance! I don’t mind giving formula too, but don’t want to lose the breastfeeding altogether x

Feeding for ages is normal @beherenowx32 - often they are trying to build up your supply! Do you have any bf specialist groups around? I would really recommend seeing them as, in the nicest way possible, the general midwife/hv advice is very general and misses stuff.
If not then you could look at asking on a group like Can I breastfeed in it? Breastfeeding support on Facebook where trained peer supporters provide advice (there are lots of groups out there to help)

@SquirtlesMumAgain thank you. There is a group on a Thursday. Hopefully I can make it next week then.
Baby was latching in well after the midwife showed me how. But now she won’t let me help her. I have to let her lie accords me and latch herself! Hope she is latching properly. I have an electric pump to try. So worried about making the right decision for her.

Thanks again xx

We’ve also given her a dummy- so probably doing it all wrong! X

Sorry to all those struggling with breast feeding. Would also echo going to drop in sessions or getting support via Facebook, I went to an NCT drop in to ask for advice about when/how to switch to formula etc and they were really helpful. I was really impressed at how much support there was available. There also seems to be something called La Leche League in London but that seems v hardcore on the 'breast is best' mantra (friend added me to the FB group) so def not for everyone, including myself although some may find it useful.

@beherenowx32 I def don't think there's such thing as a right is wrong way to do things (unless you're like killing them or something which you're clearly not) -- just to say that I've been using a pump for about 2 weeks now and some days can't get that much (maybe 10-20ml max) and then others can easily get 150ml. Initially it was v hard going as I had to get used to the pump whereas now I've got that sorted but the amount I produce is related to how much he's been feeding. Like you, he feeds for long periods (56 mins is our record) and it's now at the stage where I know that if it hadn't been over 30 mins that he will need more... And then we can start the whole thing again in 90 mins time giving me about 30 mins to produce more milk which isn't anything, then he gets frustrated and the whole thing starts again. When he waits for 2-3 hours between feeds it's then more comfortable and I can also express. Not sure how he's not learnt that yet! (My baby is almost 4 weeks, it is my first though so I'm no authoritarian!)

@BeHereNowx32 we've had some epically long feeds here. I read that anything between 5 & 45 mins is normal. Some of our night sessions involve 2 goes on each boob over the course of an hour or so ... and baby's weight gain is good & midwife & BF clinic happy. Baby has a posterior tongue tie which may be a reason for longer feeds, but there's no way to tell without doing the surgery which no one things we need right now.

Hi all, I haven't been keeping up that well with the thread. It's been rough couple of days, but not as rough as some of you are having, so I shouldn't complain really. Cluster feeding is no fun in this house. Between 6pm and 6am we had 13 feeds. I'm assuming this is normal - he's gaining weight after all.
We'll try to get him in his cot/moses basket today. Still had zero luck so far and it's my biggest worry. I'm giving up on nighttime cot sleeping, as he feeds so often it's practically pointless to even put him down, so we do quite a bit of lying position with me dozing off next to him. I'm super aware it's not the recommended approach, but if I didn't do this, I think I would be insane by now. I still think it's safer than me trying to stay awake and upright through the night, as at least he can't fall anywhere.
My bf boob is now double the size of non-bf boob. Looks funny, but I'm glad that the one I can't feed from is actually drying out and not engorging.
@melissa112 hope your little one is getting much better now. It must be really scary to see him so poorly.

Hello everyone ‘on the other side’!

Our second day at home today. Midwives came yesterday and said I should put some pads in the freezer. Hete’s a stupid question. Should I put some water on them first? Or any aloe, etc? I am getting very sore downstairs now my anaesthetic is wearing off. Also getting sore nipples. Any advice would be welcome, it’s been a long week! Baby is beautiful though and worth it. I will catch up on all of you as soon as I get a minute, Mama’s. Oh and we have a name. Adela Mary Sharp.

@Gronk27 wow I love her name it’s beautiful

www.gentlenursery.com/organic-pregnancy/easy-diy-padsicles/

@Gronk27 I made these I can’t say whether they worked as I didn’t need them this time round