February 2019 babies - thread 1

[Celebelly]

Let's go ladies! Share your tales of cluster feeding, cracked nipples, poo explosions and sleep deprivation!

It’s not a feather duvet thank god..! I don’t think I’d have attempted that, bin or dry cleaners I think!

My other half has stormed off to the driving range because of it though, so at least I get to clean it in peace!

What is violets?

I use napisan for stains. It's not perfect but a scrub in that and then wash as normal (possibly using vanish too if it's really bad). Then dry in the sunlight (not so easy in the U.K. in March).

Its a natural mineral bleach. I use it on the babies clothes so its gentle. But just so happens to be great on poo stains. All cloth bum wearers seem to swear by it too.

I need to stock up on something like napisan or violets!!

For this time though, my mix of cheap stain remover and fairy liquid detergent has worked 🙌🏼

Quilt is currently ‘drying’ (ie dripping all over the patio despite squeezing as much as I could out) in the garden.. fingers crossed for no rain!

@NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking highly recommend new duvet! Our dog was sick the day after we brought baby home on our duvet and I must admit after initial annoyance of having to go get new duvet it's lovely and cosy compared to the old one!!

Sunshine works magic on poo stains! Wash as normal then hang out in the sun. Doesn't take long! A sunny windowsill (or one that would be sunny if it was a nice day) also works.

Is there supposed to be a growth spurt or something at 7 weeks? Emma seems to have been hungry all day today?.
She's ff and seemed to be quite satisfied however she's eating much more often now? X

Urgh little one seems to have caught a cold from his brother. He's all snuffly and grumpy and so far I've had no joy in putting him down. Could be a long night ........

@maxiflump1 - I know, we've all had this blooming cold!! X

@yakadee the Wonder Weeks app shows that there is a leap that starts around 7.5weeks... could be that?

@LittleD0t - maybe that's it? It's so hard isn't it, like a guessing game. X

Has anyone got experience of switching from bf to ff? After 6 weeks of trying so hard and reaching out for help I think I'm finally accepting that bf is no longer fair on me or DD. Several tongue tie referrals to o avail, using nipple shields, inefficient feeding leading to feeds lasting at least an hour, an exhausted baby and a tearful mum.

So, I've decided we need to move on to ff. I want to enjoy my baby, not fear when she gets hungry as I know we may be going for 2 hours. We aren't even going out at the moment as it just isn't practical to feed for that long when out and about.

I'm wondering how I go about slowly switching from bf to ff... any tips?

Feel like I need to justify myself by saying we really have tried. I feel deeply disappointed and a little heartbroken that bf just isn't happening for us.

@LittleD0t - you really don't need to feel guilty but I get it. You really have tried your best and if it's not working out it's not worth getting yourself upset / unwell.

I tried to feed with my first and only lasted a few days and just switched straight to formula, not sure if you'd do the same? I didn't even try bf this time because of my first experience and it's been much better for me.

Honestly though, you're doing the right thing. I hope you're OK xx

LittleD0t I switched with DS1 when he was a month old and I'm heading that way now with DS2. The problems have been very similar ie poor weight gain (DS2 is still not back to birth weight and only gained one ounce in a week despite feeding all day long), what seems like ineffective feeding as DS2 literally wants to be on my boob all day and I'm barely having time to shower, eat a meal etc as he'll feed then cry for a feed 10 minutes later.

I'm seeing a BF clinic today as really I would like to just know what the problem is. I'm never getting much when expressing, so I don't know if it's supply or what.

When it comes to stopping, it's recommended to replace one breast feed with a formula feed slowly. Only express to relieve any discomfort/blocked ducts, not to replace that feed. With DS1 we introduced one bottle a day at 2 weeks, a second at 3 weeks, and then an extra every couple of days. This is the best way to do it to prevent mastitis. If you get any blocked ducts just express through them, you could freeze the milk then if you want.

You can stop cold turkey and express to relieve discomfort, as I know people who have done this.

I'm sad too that it hasn't worked for us, but I remember what a relief it was when I stopped with DS1 and it made us both so much happier. I'm going to keep going until Sunday for sure as DS2 turns one month old then (I want to do the same as I did for DS1) and then see how I go. I would love to be able to stick with combi feeding but I don't know if it'll work as DS2 just never seems satisfied, even for more than 10 minutes.

@LittleD0t you don't need to justify it to anyone, although I understand the feeling. Dd was ff after bf failed but I don't have any advice on how to transition slowly. It was very early on when we switched with her and she fed so little that I didn't have much of a supply anyway. I expressed for a while and gave her a mixture of ebm and formula for the first six weeks. I stopped when the pump didn't get anything.

@Lookingforadvice123 I hope clinic goes well today. Most of the ladies there are lovely and I found Alison to be very patient and good at explaining things.

Thank you lanalawr. I'm a bit nervous as I know sometimes these sorts of workers can be judgemental of any formula and I'm worried as soon as I say we've introduced one bottle a day, they'll just blame that for the reason that it's not going well...

Has anyone managed to get hold of their notes about their labour / birth? I told the midwife I wanted a copy and was given an email address to contact, but I've never had a reply.

I find myself thinking about the birth quite a lot (I had a long labour with no pain relief until I was at 5cm, pushed for three hours and then had episiotomy and forceps) and would like to see the notes just so I get straight in my head what happened at what time and why certain decisions were made. I'd also like to find out the name of a Dr who made the decision I should have forceps delivery. She did an absolutely brutal examination despite me (literally) screaming for her to stop.

I didn't feel it was a negative experience at the time, but I do think about it a lot now, and I think seeing the record of what happened might help me to get closure about it all!

I gave birth at Leeds LGI, I think a couple of other ladies on here did too.

@Lookingforadvice123 I really hope not. I've found them less judgemental this time and they gave ds formula for his first top up. They seem impressed each time they find out that not all of our top ups are formula. I'm really hoping attitudes have changed since dd was born 2.5 years ago when I felt totally unsupported in my 'choice' to ff. Alison and Judy have been very good (and even told me it was ridiculous to expect mums to express after every feed). I've also found Gail very good but she mainly does Fridays. The attitude now seems to be more along the lines of what you do needs to work for you and your family. Fingers crossed!

@detachablehoof that sounds awful! I'm sorry that was your experience. I'd be interested to know if you do get a copy. I asked to see them when I was still in hospital and was told I couldn't but that the midwife could look in the notes to answer my questions. The community midwife has since suggested doing a birth afterthoughts/reflections session with a consultant midwife - is that available in your area?

@LittleD0t please don't feel guilty. You need to do what's right for you and your baby

.We are nearly 7 weeks in and pretty much wholly on formula. I have the opposite problem to a lot of you though in that I have a monster baby and my poor boobs just can't keep up! He was 10lb 6oz born and he's just been weighed and is now a massive 15lb 4oz He is however back on the scale albeit on the 99.6th centile. He's so long as well his feet are at the bottom of his 3-6 month babygrows and he's not even 7 weeks old. Health visitor was a bit scaremongering about his weight but GP at his check today just shrugged and said someone's got to be at the top and to carry on as we are.

For those switching to formula or in fact for those using it - check out the dispatches documentary. Fascinating! It’s not demonising formula FYI it’s more about the marketing monopoly and the fact that all variations are basically the same but ‘big brands’ cost £££££!!

We use vanish for poo - only thing that works!

I had to breastfeed DD in the middle of trying to try on ‘transition’ jeans in h and m and then again in the middle of tk maxx. I’ve given up and come home now as she’s just fussy and grumpy!!!

@maxiflump1 - I hate when people do that. There was always a question mark around my sons weight but he's perfect. It's not like you're feeding him too much sugar, it's milk!

My daughter is 7 weeks old today and now 13lb 5. She was 7lb13 when born so I bet there will be an 'issue' with her weight soon 🤦‍♀️

What are you supposed to do, if baby is hungry you feed them. Babies aren't greedy x

@lanalawr I'm surprised you weren't allowed to see them. I would have thought with GDPR etc we would be entitled to see what information they hold 🤔
I have a friend who had a debrief session with the head midwife after a traumatic experience. TBH I don't really want to talk to anyone about it just yet, but I'd like to see the records so I can process what happened! The health visitor is coming next week and I have my 6 wk GP check, so hopefully one of them will be able to tell me how I can get hold of them 🤞🏻

@detachablehoof

I used to work in medical records, dealing with access requests was my main role. You can request a copy of your medical records. Just write to the Records Manager at hospital Trust. You don't need to know the name of the right person, as it will get passed on. Specify if you want all your notes or just from a certain date/period.

If you just want to see your records, start by contacting the relevant department. In your case I'd start with the Head of Midwives or your consultant if you had one.

If you withdraw consent for a procedure (ie by asking them to stop an exam) then they have to stop. Contact PALS if you want to complain, or to raise a concern. They're really good. www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Patient-advice-and-liaison-services-(PALS)/LocationSearch/363