July 2007 - yet starting in June!

[Jamantha]

Well, I can't see a post natal July 2007 thread, so will start this, even though Charlotte, my DD was born 4.5 weeks early in June. I'm sure the other July ladies will be along soon enough.

Have had 2 nights at home now. Yesterday afternoon was fairly distressing as Charlotte wouldn't latch on, and if she did she wouldn't suck. But have got loan of electric pump from hospital, and support from midwives and now managing with comination of breast, expressed and formula milk, sometimes all three in the same feed. Finding it quite emotional, with all the issues associated with feeding one's baby, but trying to stay calm as found out yesterday that getting self into a state doesn't help anyone.

Dh has just gone out to get some things we're still missing, and I'm putting my feet up for a bit. Phil & Ted has just arrived so we might try a stroll down to the ante natal class tonight!

Any how, hope there are lots of lovely birth stories to come from July ladies, and that we can swap advice, give each other moral support etc over the coming weeks and months.

Madmumnika and DorisofDevon. Just letting you know I'm thinking about you both. I really am rubbish at conveying how I feel so will leave it at that. JAM has put it so well.

here here xxxxxx

Oh here's me moaning about thrush and lack of sleep. I have no idea what to say to CF sufferers so to stop myself saying something stupid I tend not to say anything at all. I am thinking of you both and as someone previoulsy said I'm sure they'll grow up and achieve lots!

Thanks for the support didn't mean to belittle anyone's difficulties... on the positve side I do seem to be getting reasonable amounts of sleep at the mo (well enough to stay upright for most of the day ), feeling much better today, have been told we can go out of the hospital between doses so feeling a lot more positive, and as it's next wednesday have enough time to prepare DD1.

I hope those of you with thrush and mastitis (ouch!!) are feeling better sooner things are easier when you're well in yourself!

MMN - I too get v scared and have to be in the 'right mood' to go on the cf trust website to learn more, i'm also getting more selective about what i'm reading, but want to know "what I should be doing to keep her healthy". I just try to stay positive and deal with hurdles as they arise, like you I'm just grateful for my 2 beautiful daughters

If you ever need to chat too just give me a shout I'm on a little more regularly now the morning sickness has gone !!

OMG woke up this morning with a melon on my chest and in my armpit. Got 8 hours straight sleep!

Not holding my breathe to it lasting, but it has coincided with our washing machine breaking and both dd and ds having to wear disposables. Not sure dh will put ds back in them at night again!

James slept all night. HURRAH!

Gave him a bottle at 10pm and he was asleep straight after. Didn't wake then till 6am. (Couple of moans as he couldn't find his dummy but he went straight back to sleep once he had been given it)

Why do I still feel tired this morning then

JAM it's #ok, it was only one side that was like a rock so fed ds on that side. Squirted him in the face, showered the bedding etc but other side was ok. Think I accidentally fed twice on trot off other side at night but hey ho. Need to dig out milking parlour soon I think!

Typhoonsmum - I found I was more tired when Bryher started sleeping through. Very odd isn't it. Last night was the first in a fortnight that she's not slept through, I think she's having her 12 week growth spurt. She woke at 4am then wouldn't settled so ended up in bed with me. She slept till 8am. Today I feel full of beans even with the broken night. In fact I've just reorganised the kitchen cupboards. DP has got into bread making (by hand no machines, it's lovely) so our baking cupboard has had to double in size.

JAM - Yep, I know how you feel. I've got to grips with the practical side of motherhood pretty easily. It helps that Bryher is a star and very placid, but the emotional side of motherhood can be overwhelming at times. There's been times, particularly after her 11pm feed when I wind her and cuddle her before putting her back to bed when I find myself crying, she'll be asleep looking so peaceful and angelic and I want to protect her from the world but I know I can't. She has to grow up and go out into the world. The world is a scary place now, I hate to think about what it will be like when she's a teenager.
(After one particular episode she stirred and headbutted me which sort of ruined the moment. )
I finally understand why my Mum still likes me to phone her if I go anywhere to let her know I'm safe.

hello all, just back from hols and it's nice to catch up and see how everyone is getting on. Best wishes to Doris and MM - best wishes for your LO's health.

Have moved ds into the back bedroom. Ekkk! But have lost hubby to the rugby - oh well.

JAM that is such a lovely and terrifying thought, don't know how you manage it I'm usually bogged down with the mundane must make another list (to add to my other lists)

like bibliblio said what will the world be like when they're teenagers can only hope it improves in the next few years.... i'm usually a glass half full kind of girl (especially if it's a wine glass )

QUICK POLL QUESTION:

I made the mistake of reading The baby whisperer on holiday, which mainly just made me feel bad although ds is great and sleeps like an angel.

Self settling: do your los put themselves to sleep?

ds nurses to sleep in the evenings, and in the day does need rocking in his chair or his amby hammock.

What are everyone else's lo doing? Ds is about 14 weeks I guess.

Theprecious,

I am a big Baby Whisperer fan, so have been putting DS down awake since day 1. It works great in the day- I can put him down awake (usually swaddled with dummy) and leave him to fall asleep. If we are out and about, I usually have to rock him in his car seat or push his pushchair backwards and forwards. But at bedtime, we have some crying, but it seems this is because he will only settle when he is totally full of milk, and totally empty of wind/poo!

If you want him to learn to self-settle, if I were you, I'd wait until DS is 4 months old, when you can also use the pick up-put down method. But the BW methods do work at any age, so don't worry about "missing the boat".

Theprecious

DD will self settle most of the time at night. She sticks her thumb in and that's the last we hear from her.
She's quite good at it in the mornings too, in fact I can hear her sucking her thumb in the other room right now. She isn't so great in the afternoon, but I think it's because she is too tired so we'll often have 5-10 minutes of her crying while I try to calm her down and eventually she'll cry herself to sleep.

JAM- thank you for sharing your thoughts, I think you've hit the nail on the head... & like you said it is both wonderful & terrifying that parents could have such an influence... I have to say I am having a wobbly day today wondering if I'm a good enough mother...but I'm rationalising it by thinking I'm trying as hard as I can (with little energy!!)

Doris- How is DD2? Thinking of you all lots (((( )))). Would love to email a bit more about CF- if you have time! My email is annika dot mitchell at googlemail dot com.

Well the past 2 nights Mairi has slept through!! From around 10pm until 5:45 or today 7am!! Am in shock as she hadn't shown any sign of going more than 5 hrs between feeds... And my boobs are killing me making me wake lots !! (that and the usual paranoia of the "Is she still breathing?" variety)

Also my two are now going to a friend for 3 hrs 3 times a week (childminding) so I can keep up at writing my PhD thesis (in theory...finding it hard to put brain into gear and can only think about my DCs!)... House feels eerily quiet without them but Mairi is settling very well and DS is happy as his little friend in there and they have tonnes of great toys including a trampoline!
It's very tempting to spend the child-free time cleaning etc. but trying to reign in those urges!

By the way...a bit off topic but my DS suffers v badly with eczema and isn't sleeping well at all... Any one have any tips? We seem to be back and forth to the GP's all the time and all they can do is give him more ABs, steroid creams etc none of which seem to help much, he is just so itchy even with piriton....bless him I wish there was a magic cure.

Hope the sun is shining where you all are xxx

My DD doesn't settle herself. If we put her down awake she just screams. We have tried leaving her but I didn't like and it took well over an hour of crying before she finally drifted off.

Can someone tell me about this Baby Whisperer book? If it helps to get LO settling on her own I'd love to try it.

HAving a hard time with her and sleeping at the moment. First part of the night is fine, she goes between 4 and 6 hours but after that she is waking up every hour. Its getting really hard to deal with it as I get cross with her and frustrated and end up letting her sleep on my lap on the sofa. I am exhausted and taking it out on poor husband. I am exclusively BF and have tried giving her the bottle but no luck. I know that having a baby wasn't going to be easy but I didn't expect to feel that way after 3 months. I never seem to be able to get anything done at home, I have no motivation, I am so unhappy about not losing my baby weight and feel generally rubbish about myself. I just feel that there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Sorry for the moan, sometimes it just helps getting things out. I know there are people who will be having far bigger problems then these.

xx

PS. ThePrecious- my DD is starting to settle herself... but only this past week or so (she's 16 weeks old today) and partly because I know I made the mistake with DS of always nursing him to sleep and he didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly a year old so determined DD will be better!! I put her into her moses basket awake but knowing of course that she is well fed...and if she fell asleep while feeding I find winding usually wakes her... She will often suck her hands while falling asleep and sometimes will cry a tiny bit (but not the 'hard' sort of crying) and is usually asleep within 15 mins. I think you still have plenty of time to start this- in my experience it's only when they're 5-6 months old that habits have really formed and it'll be harder work to teach them to settle themselves to sleep.

Princess- huge hugs sweetheart (((( )))). I think I felt a lot like you with DS, and really can empathise. A few random thoughts- have you tried positioning her on her side rather than back when you put her to sleep (with a rolled up blanket behind her back?)- sometimes they settle much better that way? Or try more background noise (like radio on quite loud)? Some babies seem to hate quiet! Or try putting her to sleep on a sheepskin or lambskin rug? With DS I also found putting his baby gym over his cot/moses basket helped as he liked having that to look at to make a change from his mobile and would sometimes fall asleep looking at that. If all else fails for the time being you could try using a good sling so she can be carried on you while you prepare food, eat, tidy up etc. Do keep trying with the bottles as the older they get the harder it can be to introduce them (I never got DS to take one but I didn't try until he was 5 months old)... Maybe try the Tommee Tippee "closer to nature" ones as they can combine well with BFing... and make sure someone else offers it to your DD when she is properly hungry but not screaming.... It can be hard work to say the least but if you get her even taking a tiny bit it will help- but I find you have to use the bottle once a day or else they 'forget' how to drink from it & might refuse again... I'm sure there are some threads on MN about introducing a bottle that might help you. Finally my only other tip is to make sure you get outside at least once a day for at least an hour- I think being stuck inside with an unsettled baby is enough to drive anyone crazy and sometimes just being in different surroundings can settle them better.

Evelyn usually nurses to sleep - day and night. If she wakes herself up though she usually settles herself. If she is sleepy when she's put down, she usually settles herself too. I do keep thinking that I should try putting her down awake more, but every day that I've planned on doing it, she has caught me out by falling asleep at the breast without suckling iykwim

madmum & doris - thinking of you both loads.

Madmum I am sure you are a great mum and it sounds like you dc are very happy. Good luck with your thesis - I don't know how you manage. I'm struggling enough with 1 dc and nothing else to occupy my mind

Jam I make lists too - doesn't mean anything actually gets done, but at least I know what needs doing

dear all - thanks for the replies, I think i'll start the self settling and see how we get on, and will do it from birth next time...

My mum says it all just depends, some babies are good sleepers and some not.

Big hugs Princess too - madmumnika has covered it all I think.

Listmakers: backpack a web list maker! Dh and I use it and it saves so many arguments. You both need to "buy-in" to it really but it's fab. We use one login and can update stuff we've got to do, or done. ours has Christmas lists, a calender, diy list, dinner list, shopping list, loads of stuff.

Ok so it's really anal but have a look.

Hi all, re self settling: Grace tends to self settle in the day. In the evening she tends to cry more and I may need to go up and feed her a bit more. This I think is generally because she is so tired and keeps falling asleep and despite my best efforts to keep her awake she just gets so settled for about 10 mins then all hell lets loose!! She sleeps well in the day, except she wakes after 45mins at her 'lunchtime' nap and takes ages to settle again, unless we are out, when she'll sleep for England!!

Am staying at my parents at the moment with Grace and her big sister (2 years old) as we are having our kitchen transformed. DH is staying at his parents as he needs to work and my parents live away from us. It's tough going - parents smoke and have had to ensure they do it outside but smoke still wafts in as they only do it just at the back door. Also it feels like we are living out of bags - partly because there isn't enough space for us to fully unpack and also because I'm worried about everything smelling smoky!! Can't wait to get back to my own house - ggggrr!

JAM- I'm going to my sister's for a halloween party on the Saturday. It's for adults and children. She's arranged party games in teams, like dress the mummy, egg and spoon race with eyeballs, musical monsters (dance like a monster, rest like musical statues) and apple bobbing. All sounds fun! Have got a pumpkin outfit for Grace and dd, who has refused to dress up in a witches outfit, has at last tried on and agreed to wearing a pumpkin type dress from m&s. Now need to finalise mine and dh's outfits! And start expressing milk so that I can have a few glasses of witches brew- ie wine!!

Hi everyone first time here (be gentle with me!). Anyways, Im looking for some desperately needed advice. My daughter was sleeping through the night untill the last 2/3 weeks,now she wakes for a night time feed,after about 6 hours sleep. She's bottle fed,and I've tried increasing her by 1oz,to no avail. Should I start giving her one spoon of baby rice/first food prior to bedtime bottle? I know the advice says to wait 6mnths,but other advice is to go with the flow,as long as the baby is 4mths+.
Please help,Im starting to feel like a bad Mum!