October 2017: Babies are here!

[Nessalina]

There's been a flurry of new arrivals on the October thread, so here's somewhere for us to share the excitement and terror of our newborns!!

My DD wasn't a fan of a bath the first time (we left it 2 weeks as advised by NCT). She hates to be cold and I think that's what the problem was. Tried putting a warm flannel over her body and she stopped crying and likes baths now! We have a flannel covered bath seat bought in mothercare so that's quite warm to lie against too. Never bothered with baby bath and DD1 had a plastic bath seat but we always put a flannel on top of that so it wasn't so cold. Then we have a towel waiting on the radiator for when she gets out.

Regarding the poo situation post birth, don't forget you most likely emptied your bowels thoroughly during birth (something my DP likes to remind me, finds it highly amusing!) so you might not have anything for a couple of days anyway.

How's everyone getting on with sleep? I had about 4.5 hours last night ☹️

@boxes I went the complete other way, didn't have any softeners or the like and it was a gold 4 days before I pood (unheard of for me). I'd done a good chunk of healing by that point so it wasn't as bad. Everyone who tells you its like giving birth again is lying. Just be careful with the straining and try to bring your knees up so you're in more of a squat position.

The oramorph can give gas pains too so if you get that try peppermint tea. The midwives also had something called peppermint water which helped.

Not given dd a bath yet as she still had her cord stump until yesterday, and now it's infected :( so she's having antibiotic cream and might need it cauterised. But with ds I found having a big fluffy towel to wrap him in the second we took him out helped a lot. He liked the bath but hated the cold afterward.

Dex is pretty good in the bath actually, I expected tears but he generally just looks startled ha. Although I think it helps that our bathroom is very small so it keeps quite warm in there. We also keep the towel on the radiator and he’s only ever in the bath for 3-4 minutes. I give him a little massage with some oil afterwards too which I think he quite likes. He’s not too much of a crier, only when he’s having his nappy changed which he hates!

Congrats @leannejade!!

Is that how much sleep you get most nights @SophieGiroux? I’m up about 4 times to feed Dex and the feed, burp and change all takes 45 mins - 1 hour. But I think I manage about 8 hours of broken sleep. He’s so noisy and sounds really congested though so when he’s in his cot he’s quite unsettled. How much do peoples DPs help at night? Mine can’t help with feeding but he used to do a change a night although that seems to have stopped now..

@GimbleInTheWabe no fortunately I usually get more than 4 hours but last night wasn't a good night. I usually stay up til 12 cluster feeding then she usually goes 4 hrs (6 on a good night although getting rarer) then maybe 3 hrs. As long as I get 6 hrs I can function!
Was hoping to get a sleep in today but typically she doesn't seem to want to sleep today! She's definitely spending a lot more time awake now. Not long until school run so chances of getting a daytime nap in are diminishing!
I should go to bed earlier really but I hate going to sleep and getting disturbed an hour or so later, would rather stay up late!

Thanks guys for the poo advice! I still haven't braved it yet, but been eating lots of dried apricots and waiting for the midwives to bring me yet another measure of the lactulose (or whatever it is), so far the first one got taken by accident by the lady cleaning up lunch things, I managed to knock the second over, so this is third time lucky! I reckon they think I am just knocking them back in the hopes of making it easier- I am not, I promise! Going to try and go before we get released into the outside world...

Just waiting for the doctor to come and sign us off to leave, with my pain relief prescription and hopefully even more of the bowel moving stuff, or we will stop off on the way home to get the stuff recommended by one of you lovely lot.

Dp has gone to take most of the bags to the car and get the car seat, so I am just having a quiet moment with the little one. I am excited, overwhelmed and quite frankly terrified at the thought of taking her home already, was getting used to our little cocoon of our room on the ward, we were so lucky to snaffle that! So the adventure really begins here... I may have been having a small emotional moment, except dd has just gone and ruined it by doing the most enormous fart and I can smell that a nappy change is very much needed!

Ahh I'm so excited for you. Don't worry so much about the poo, have some cuddles after and you'll forget all about it. It might actually be easier to go at home where you feel more comfortable.

@sophie how old is your LO? The midwife and HV want me feeding baby every 3 hours during the day but said we could go longer at night. Just wondering how long it might take before she'll sleep for longer. I'm scared to leave her for now as she needs to get her weight up but I could so do with more than 3 hours sleep!

Yes my mw and Hv said the same to me about feeding that often @Bobbiepin. Although tbh I dont set an alarm at night to feed I just wake up when Dex starts to grumble which is usually every 2.5-3 hrs. Do you just naturally wake up too? I’d love a 6 hour stretch, that’d be bloody amazing!

I was told the same about feeding every 2-3 hours during the day and leaving it up to 4 hours at night. Thorin sometimes needs waking during the day for a feed (rarely mind, he's a boob fiend!) and at night it's pretty much every 3 hours that he wakes up to the minute!

Boxes - it took a few days for me to do a poo but i was pleasantly surprised at how easy and pain free it was! Despite the millons of haemmorhoids i had post delivery 🙈🙈

pingu - DD still cries for most of her bath although is getting A LOT better - I also have a warm towel and make sure the bathroom is cosy to make the experience slightly better for her!

Im exactly the same with the feeding - every 3 hrs. I wasn't even afforded the luxury of slightly extended night feeds - my HV said 3hrly at night too. Whether it was cos DD is a preemie or not?! Either way, I've been bad recently and left it til she stirs - which is usually between 3 & 4hours anyway! It's bloody shattering though....

It appears I've spoken too soon in my previous post.... I'm thinking my bf journey will be coming to an end VERY soon. Had a really rubbishy weekend with her feeding and today she's been sick every time I've fed. Mostly projectile. I was concerned so spoke to the HV today who was coming round to weigh DD anyway. She's advised I keep an eye on her overnight and that she's only gained 2oz in a week which isn't enough. I'm at my wits end and nipples feeling really sore despite HV saying my latch was good. I'm going to contact the breastfeeding support clinic tomorrow as a last ditch attempt otherwise i think making the switch to ff is the way forward for me. I have nothing against ff and before DD was Born, I was of the opinion I would try bf but if it didn't work then I'd go with whatever is best for DD. But why do I feel so shit and guilty at the thought?!

dollydaydream I stupidly had a look at the bum end of business, oh my giddy aunt, the piles!!! Seriously looks like a cluster of new planets is sprouting from my bum. I actually felt them pop out during labour, didn't feel the internal and external cuts they made (do just cheerfully filled me in on the actual things they did to me whilst I was off my face with the epidural), didn't really feel the baby come out, certainly didn't feel the contractions other than the tightening at the top of my belly, but no, through all of that going on, I felt the bloody piles. Not brave enough to try tonight after what I have just seen.

Sorry, I know I am being gross and totally oversharing, but it's all still very new since Saturday. She is lucky that she is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen in my life (again, totally overwhelmed and emotional first time mother here), but I doubt she will be getting a sibling ever any time soon.

Just spent a good ten mins arranging myself carefully in bed with all painkillers and laxatives within easy reach only to remember I've left my handbag downstairs with phone charger etc in it. And dp can't hear me to bring it up. Sigh. Ah well, my first proper alone night feed shall commence around 1am. How do you lot do it, and make it look so easy? Guess I have a lot to learn...

It’s interesting that different babies have different reactions to the bath. DS screams if I even wipe his face with a warm flannel, so I think it is water rather than cold that he hates. Maybe he wants to start the stinky teenaged boy phase a bit early!

We also feed about every 3 hours at night. Although I’m in bed for ten hours I seem to only manage about 6 hours of broken sleep. If he is windy it can take 2 hours and 2 feeds before he goes back to sleep. I can’t lie in or nap due to DD getting up, which is inevitably just after I’ve got DS to sleep.

Those piles sound nasty @boxesoffrogs , poor you, I bet you can’t put cream on them yet either due to stitches. I looked at my stitches for the first time today, they weren’t as bad as I thought but everything looks really weird and stretched down there, it freaked me out a bit!

@Bobbiepin my DD is 3 weeks old. I did question whether it was ok with my midwife for her to sleep that long but she said as I was cluster feeding beforehand that was tanking her up so was fine. I've not had her weighed since last week but after losing 9% a couple of days after birth she was almost back to birth weight. I think as long as they are happy and gaining weight it's ok.
It's all a distant memory now anyway as she's a lot more alert and awake for longer periods, couldn't get her to sleep until 1.30am last night 😕

Thanks @Sophie. Everything went south with feeding yesterday. HV told us to switch boob mid feed as she wasn't gaining weight quick enough but she was cluster feeding from 3pm to midnight, could barely get off for 20 mins at a time and was screaming constantly. Her nappies are this bright green which baby centre says is because she's only getting foremilk not the hind milk which will actually help her gain weight.

She's settled now but I'm left with this overwhelming feeling that everything I do with her is wrong. I dont want to supplement as I know that'll mess with my supply but I feel like a complete failure.

I feel for you @bobbiepin

I had this with DD and it totally shat all over my enjoyment of the first six weeks of her life.

Whatever you do please don’t feel like a failure. Trying to do the very best for your baby isn’t the actions of a failure x

I'm right there with you bobbie - yesterday was a crappy day and my DD isn't gaining enough weight either.
Today seems to be better but I'm so anxious about her weight and her feeding that it's stealing a lot of the enjoyment out of the early stages and just want to do the best for her!

Sorry bobbie and everyone else. Hopefully it'll get better soon. Everyone says the first 6-8 weeks bfing are the worst though that seems like a long time now I guess it'll go quickly enough.

We're still struggling. Dd had tongue tie snipped yesterday. Apparently it was an 80% tie so no wonder we were struggling! My supply is still way off what it needs to be, so though I'm 'breastfeeding' on demand dd needs topping up with 90ml formula every feed meaning she's practically fully ff. I give her both sides every feed, pump as often as I can and I'm taking domperidone but my supply doesn't seem to be getting much better. Hoping the tt division helps as dd can then empty the breast better and stimulate things herself but she's still not really drinking when she's at the breast, maybe 1 swallow for every 20 sucks! I was feeling optimistic yesterday but starting to feel like I'm just never going to catch up.

I must admit I've been very tempted to reach for the formula when I've been sat there in the dead of night for hours with DD sucking at what must be empty breasts and feeling really sore. Will persevere for now though as I guess the constant suckling will increase the supply and give her what she needs. Did try a dummy last night for the first time but she didn't really take to it and kept spitting it out.

Thanks everyone. I know I'm trying my best but until she puts on some weight i'm going to feel bad. DH thinks I'm being overly pessimistic, says she's happy and doing well so I shouldn't beat myself up over it but it is putting a downer on the first few weeks.

Hi all
Hope u are all well. Welcome to the new thread @boxesoffrogs! Mega congratulations too. Eek Austin will be 5 weeks old tomorrow & I only just ventured out in the car to town today.(had c section but doc said ok to drive)
I never really have a thought to my own pooh situation. Think it took me nearly a week after but I think I may have piles at the moment - I'm not sure this is possible since I had a section as I never got to the pushing stage. 😬 I'll ask my HV tomorrow it's my last visit from her. I think I've been in a state of shock until the last week or so 😂
How's everyone coping now? I've been feeling lots more relaxed this week, am getting used to little sleep etc & noticed the changes in him this week which is just lovely. xx

I think I have piles too! What is this late onset piles party that we have got ourselves a ticket for?!

Had a bit of a manic day today. Did a baby massage course this morn and got a call from my agent half way through saying I’d booked a job for 3:30 that afternoon. So I rushed home after the session and expressed 5oz of milk and got dexter to take some milk from the bottle (his first ever bottle experience!) which he finally did after some perseverance. Then I headed in to town holding back the guilt tears and did my voice over job (I lost my voice this weekend so sounded a bit croaky ). DP said he couldnt get Dex to take the bottle so I felt awful and rushed home to find Dexter fast asleep as he finally took it after DP trying again. Then he fed on me for 20 mins so I think he missed me ha. Gosh the mum guilt is crushing though, it felt so wrong to leave him but so good to cuddle him when I got back and i was only gone for 4 hours!

I’m so fecking tired.

That is all

Still in poo limbo here... and we had a blinking power cut here last night, all street affected, just what you need with a three day old! Luckily it came back on about two am.

Bit peeved with community midwife. We were supposed to have a visit on Tuesday but for some reason we were missed. Just spoke to the lady doing visits today, she sounded very stressed as she is the only one out today, and she asked if everything was OK, said we would have been due another appointment tomorrow anyway, and if she could just do the both in one tomorrow. I know it's not her fault, but feel a bit forgotten about, and a bit fobbed off, especially as she is so small...

In other news, have been an emotional wreck today, sobbing at Christmas adverts on tv, accidentally scratched baby's head with my nail and felt awful, then felt bad for the dog as thought she felt left out etc etc etc. Need to get a grip!

Might attempt to leave the house and go for a little wander round the park next to our house, but feels like it would require a mammoth effort. But going a bit stir crazy as not been out since we got home...

I find getting out really helps, just a little walk in the fresh air makes you feel so much better. There's only so much daytime tv I can take!

Getting out and about definitely helps. It's easier than you think (says the person who had palpitations the first time she took ds out in the pram), and it gets easier and easier the more you do it. I chucked dd in the pram just now to go to the supermarket even though she was crying but I'd just fed and changed her so it was now or never, to my amazement she went straight to sleep as soon as the pram started moving and slept the whole time we were out. It's bloody cold though today!

In less good news, pretty close to giving up bfing unless someone has a magical solution at the support group tomorrow. I have very little milk, can't get a pain free latch despite dd's tongue tie being cut, dd won't feed properly just 'nibbles', I have no time to pump, ds is being neglected, I hate taking the medication I was prescribed, dd is drinking so much formula that any breast milk is negligible anyway and it just doesn't seem worth the pain and effort!