October 2017: Babies are here!

[Nessalina]

There's been a flurry of new arrivals on the October thread, so here's somewhere for us to share the excitement and terror of our newborns!!

@boxesoffrogs - I was exactly the same at that point (and still more emotional than I'd like 4 weeks post partum!!) - I found getting out the house and copious amounts of chocolate did the trick! It will pass. Or at least get a bit more cope-able.

@TippetyTapWriter - I don't have a magical cure unfortunately. Just know you're not alone. This morning I had given up and got the formula bottle out to five to DD after I was convinced she'd taken nothing from me. She spat it back out. Which increased stress levels even more. I ended up phoning the breastfeeding support worker in tears and she came out. She couldn't see a problem with my latch and reckons the pain must be down to thrush and to get treatment. If its no better by Monday and her weight isn't improved then I'm making the switch.
Sometimes I think it's important for our own sanity to know when enough is enough. Breastfeeding isn't the be all and end all and I take my hat off to you for persevering so long with another little one around. There has been times I've not even been able to speak to my DH, never mind look after another little human. They say the first couple of weeks are the most important and you've done that so that's amazing in itself.
Whatever you decide to do, your mental health and happiness has got to be as much of a priority as baby. And the right people will support your decision 100%.

Thanks dolly! Hopefully if it is thrush causing your pain it can be treated and you'll see an improvement soon? Not sure if it's relevant but this is similar to what the lactation consultant suggested I do when dd's weight was dropping: www.asklenore.info/breastfeeding/not_enough_milk.shtml

Unfortunately we're on the supplanting step as nothing else seems to give her a full tummy. I still think it's mostly a latch issue (and the poor latch has caused my low supply). Every night about 3am I end up in tears convinced I'm going to quit then the morning comes and I feel a tiny bit better. I just don't see how my milk supply is ever going to keep up. But maybe I can carry on mixed feeding then at least she's getting some breast milk and I also have the option of using the breast as a comforter which is something I really missed with ds! Would mixed feeding work for you too?

You're right though that there's no harm in quitting and I definitely will if things don't get easier soon.

I also mix feed @TippetyTapWriter - we give her formula at 10pm and I just express. Allows me to go to bed for a good 4hours as DH does that feed and I don't need to get up until the back of 1.... makes all the difference getting a little bit extra sleep! When DD was about 2 weeks old, She didn't put on any weight so we were advised to top her up with expressed milk. Which I did religiously. But it made me proper miserable because I was feeding every couple of hours for up to an hour and then expressing for half an hour. Then having to repeat the process. I couldn't do ANYTHING. I decided to stop and DD put on her most weight ironically. If I had to do top ups, I'd defo rather formula than express again.
On the positive side, I think expressing after feeds helped with my supply. I know you won't have time to do that with your other LO but could you try even after a couple of feeds a day? I was advised by the breast feeding support worker to get DD to switch feed - so feed off both breasts at every feed to build supply?

Thank you for the link - will go have a read right now.

I defo think bf is potentially one of the most stressful parts of newborn life. And it seems just about everyone struggles, yet it's hardly talked about. Can really make you feel alienated and lonely because you feel like you're the only one.

I'm meant to be expressing after every feed, never manage it though. Takes 40+ mins to bf (both sides twice as advised), then I bottle feed her to top up as she's screaming with hunger, then I change her and have to settle her to sleep before I can think about expressing. But I also need to sterilise the pump, bottle and nipple shields. And when I'm expressing ds gets fascinated by the pump and keeps pressing all the buttons and turning it off half way through or else doing something naughty and/or dangerous across the room so I have to leap up and get him, by which point dd is normally waking up again and I've not even managed a cup of tea ... Think I might possibly be very close to the end of the road with it all! And it all bloody hurts too, both feeding and expressing and even when I'm doing neither! So much for bfing being more convenient than bottles...

@tippety i'm in a similar situation. DD isnt putting on weight as quickly as they want her to, she'a 17 days and 6oz off her birth weight so the midwife told me to express and top her up after every feed or to give her formula. I know giving formula will reduce my supply and make everything worse but I have no time to express. She feeds every 3 hours plus comfort feeds in between. I don't want to pump and have nothing left if she wants a feed 15 minutes later.

Other than that we're actually having a good day. DH is back at work but DD and I have both had a nap and been for a walk. She even was happy to be put down while I ate lunch. Shame I have to ruin it all by going to the dentist!

It's so worrying the weight thing. Dd was still losing at 10 days when they're meant to be gaining or back at birth weight. She's only just now back at birth weight over a week later. She's still having a lot of formula top ups but occasionally recently has seemed content at least for 30 minutes or so after bfing. And this morning she threw up a huge amount after a bf so at least I know there's something going in! The lactation consultant told me I should pump every 2hrs for the whole weekend. Im sorry but as much as I'm keen to bf that's just not possible! It's 10.30 and I've only just got dd to sleep after her first morning feed at 7am and I've visitors coming in a couple of hours etc etc.

Good work on the nap yesterday! I think managing that is one of the finest parenting achievements! I'm still mostly doing lunch with dd in the sling so she spends the day covered in crumbs.

Another one here still struggling to balance breastfeeding and formula. She now latches on ok and feeds happily with little pain for me. But often seems very hungry again straight after.

Also how is everyone doing with getting their babies to sleep? My little girl is brilliant as long as she can sleep on my chest!! The minute I put her in the Moses basket she is wide awake again. This means I'm trying (and some times failing) to stay awake most of the night whilst she sleeps on me. Any tips/ ideas would be greatly appreciated.

@iemma321q DS doesn’t mind his Moses basket most of the time although he does sometimes wake up when I put him in. Previously DD was just like your little girl though, it was really draining. I used a sling for naps in the day, and ended up co-sleeping at night, it was the only way I could get enough sleep to function! I’m just trying DS in a sleepyhead, it is only his second night so not sure if it is an improvement yet.

How often do your babies poo? DS seems to be almost constantly pooing and trumping! We are going through nappies so fast!

How are you working out how much formula to give iemma? I'm never sure if I'm giving too much and making dd not hungry enough to bfeed often/long enough to up my supply but I'm also paranoid about her being hungry and losing weight again. She often goes 4 hours between feeds which seems too long for a newborn.

At the moment dd isn't too bad at sleeping in Moses basket though she has to be properly asleep before we try and put her in (normally let her sleep for 30mins on my chest before putting her in). We've also had to put it on a slant as she gets bad reflux the minute she's put flat on her back.

Those who had a c section, are you still wearing your surgical stockings? The midwife told me to wear them for 6 weeks but they're so laddered etc I'm not sure how effective they are. I'm also sick of them!

TippetyTap
Six weeks?! I was told to keep mine on for a week then to take them off in the day on the condition I was up and about. Then only at night for another week.

Six weeks is crazy, that’s way too long.

Tell you what though this CS has been a tougher heal than last time; I still feel very bruised and sore 30 days on. Last time I was a-ok by the third week.

Hi girls, does anyone know anything about proper combination feeding? Not just giving a bottle as a top up. I'm at the end of my tether with breast feeding atm, DD's latch seems to be getting worse and I can't imagine she's getting enough from me and she's struggling to put on weight as it is. At night I'm so close to throwing in the towel and giving her a bottle. The only thing that's stopping me is we tried giving her ebm in a bottle and she threw up everywhere. Never seen so much come from something so small, it sorta scared me and I don't want to repeat that.

Oh @Bobbiepin not sure I have the answer but empathy five to you from the house of mammabubs. Have you got anti-colic bottles and maybe try deliberately spacing the feed or a bit so she can't just wolf it down too quickly?

I haven't posted for a while as I think I've sunk somewhat into the pit of recovery doom. Had DS 3 weeks ago, and since then I just feel physically broken. I had an episiotomy, the stitches ruptured at about 4 days post birth so I've been having physio treatment 4 times a week at hospital to encourage it to heal quicker, DS's latch was getting better until a week ago and now breastfeeding just hurts no matter how "good" consultants tell me the latch looks on the outside. My nipples are cracked and last Friday I woke up shivering, sweating and in agony, turns out I have mastitis so I've been on antibiotics for the last few days. Downside of mastitis is that it's causing more damage to my nipple and excruciating pain to try and breastfeed but I can't express more than 10-30ml with the pump at a time from it (was more like 70ml before mastitis hit). Tried nipple shields but every time my son just pulls them off so they're not working for us. Tried to give DS formula as a last ditch attempt to get food into him and he then projectile vomited after every feed for the next 24 hours. Had to give him formula again in the early hours of this morning and he threw up badly again, but doesn't throw up expressed milk so it's definitely the formula that's doing it :/ Woke up this morning with a stinking cold and just wanted to sigh and say I resign for all of this. Don't know what all of this even is... but I've had enough!

(Sorry for the massive pity party whinge and my somewhat lurgied hugs go out to all the other mums struggling with feeding, it's so hard).

Oh @mummabubs you poor thing. Big hugs. Are you getting enough support IRL? I know some babies dont get on with some formula brands, it might be worth trying another brand or some of the special gentle feeds.

Bf is so so hard, especially in the middle of the night when all you want to do is cry and sleep.

If you need a giggle, we visited DH's extended family for the first time with DD. As we got there, DH's auntie opened the door, looked at me & asked "ooh have you lost weight?" Really tickled me!

Sorry to hear so many people struggling, motherhood is definitely not easy. DD is starting to be more alert now so harder to get her to sleep. Had had enough by 2am the other night and hadn't even gone to bed yet! Considering using a dummy but then don't want her becoming reliant on it to sleep. I used one with DD1 and there was a bad stage where she kept waking all night as she'd lose the dummy and I had to keep getting up to put it back in her mouth. It was a good sleep time cue though, just don't know what to do for the best.

@mummabubs definitely might be worth trying a different formula like a comfort or anti-colic one?

Sympathies to you all especially on the mastitis and stitches mummabubs. What a double whammy, no wonder you feel rough. They say it takes 9 months to make them and 9 months to recover and that was definitely true for me last time. Don't feel down for not feeling better if that makes sense, it does take time but it will happen.

bobbie could it be the sudden volume from a bottle? Try paced feeding (lots of guides if you google it). And winding often, every ounce or so. Dd still possets a lot after both bottles and breast though.

legend ok that sounds better than 6 weeks! though I'm way off my normal activity levels so I might keep them on a little longer.

Thanks tippety I've had a read and it makes a lot of sense. The midwife came today and weighed DD and she's almost back at her birth weight, she put on 5oz in 4 days so something I'm doing is working. I'm still planning on putting a few bottles in the mix, hopefully DD will sleep a little longer with a formula bottle at night wishful thinking, I know

Thats great news about her weight bobbie, good work. Hope she carries on gaining well. My dd is getting weighed tomorrow. Going to ask the hv for advice on trying to wean off top ups though it seems impossible at the moment given the amount she's having!

Oh dear @mummabubs , poor you, that sounds rotten with everything hitting you at once! Really unfair. Hope you feel a little better tomorrow.

Well done on the weight gain @Bobbiepin , 5oz in 4 days is really impressive! Hope your weigh in goes well tomorrow @TippetyTapWriter . I haven’t actually had DS weighed since the health visitor came two weeks ago, but he’s moved up a babygrow size so I’m not worried (I’m much more chilled complacent about things second time around!)

I’m struggling with my own clothes though. My maternity trousers won’t stay up but I can’t fit into my normal ones yet. It’s like that annoying phase of pregnancy when your bump isn’t quite big enough for maternity wear yet, only now I can’t wear dresses as I need BF access. I know there are bigger things to worry about but it is annoying!

Thanks girls, its such a relief. So reassuring that she's growing.

@pingu I'm the same! I dont want to have to buy nursing clothes, especially since my maternity pay is crap but I'm really limited on options. Very thankful I bought some size up jeans earlier in the year, I just about fit into them. Its tops that are the problem.. I think I'm gonna get some little cami vest tops from Primark and attach them to my nursing bras under a regular top.

Congrats @bobbiepin - it's such a relief when you see their weight go up, isn't it??

DD had only put on 2oz the week before last, which got me super worried again, however, She was weighed again yesterday and has gained 5oz this week, which has taken the pressure and worry off again for a little while. I've asked the HV not to come next week to weight because I'm getting obsessed, and she's agreed to come back in a fortnight instead.

Is anyone's little one having a growth spurt right about now?? DD is 5 weeks old and feeding constant and up loads through the night, whereas she used to only be up once or twice max before. As she was premature, she should only be 3 days old if she'd come on time so it's hard to know if she'll follow growth spurts by her actual age or her corrected age!?

@PingusMistress @Bobbiepin - have a look on H&M online - I got quite a bit of nursing clothing from there for a very reasonable price and there's actually a few dresses as well!

Good luck with the weigh day @TippetyTapWriter - let us know how she gets on. I managed to wean DD off top ups to the point where she's just getting formula at her night time settling, once shed started to gain a decent amount of weight. Hopefully if she's put in a few ounces, you can start to drop a couple a day and take it from there?

Hi just seen this thread.

Checking in.

Baby Riley born 29th Oct at 1.33am, finally getting back to normal after the birth and quite a difficult pregnancy! Suffered from SPD and GD, as well as Thyroid.

Unfortunately baby Riley is not home with us yet, he was struggling with his breathing at birth and needed to go on a ventilator so was admitted to Special Care ICU, it was an awful time, and leaving the hospital without him was like torture but I knew he was in the best place, he is off all oxygen support now and is doing great, we are establishing his feeds and he is feeding well from both bottle and myself, I have been expressing like mad these past few weeks so give him an ongoing milk supply! Hoping for him to be home maybe some time next week if not before but waiting for further tests as he has suffered quite a bit of jaundice so they have been doing a few tests to further investigate this.

Hope everyone is doing great!

Love Ruth x

Congratulations Ruth. I hope your little one is home soon.

My dd and I slept in the lounge last night to master her sleeping in the Moses basket. It meant we could be a little bit more noisy without worrying about disturbing my ds. It has definitely paid off as she didn't sleep on my chest at all and I feel a bit more rested.
As for the bf. we have made the decision to slowly phase it out. This has really taken the pressure off and I am much more positive and upbeat. Dd also seems completely happy with a bottle so perhaps can finally really enjoy my newborn instead of stressing over bf all the time. I just need to forget all the bf hype and remember that fed and happy is best.

How's everyone else?

Welcome @ruthieruthuk , hope baby Riley can come home soon, glad he is on the mend.

Well done on the Moses basket progress @iemma321q. I’ve banished DH to the spare room for similar reasons (he doesn’t mind as he gets more sleep too).

It is DHs birthday today and we are going to attempt to go out for a restaurant lunch with 3 year old DD and 3 week old DS. Wish us luck!

One word. Mastitis. Ouch 😫 miserable. Anyone got any tips to ease the pain/fever? Doc gave me antibiotics but I can't cope with short term having to deal with an 11 day old and feeling so rubbish. Dp is helping but the constant feeding and expressing is completely knackering.

Sorry, self pitying post.

Oh boxes poor you! I have zero tips sorry, just lots of sympathy. Hope the antibiotics kick in soon. I had what I think was a milk blister yesterday and blocked duct and it was excruciating! Luckily feeding dd got rid of it. Breastfeeding is ridiculously weird, hard and complicated!

I was going to give up yesterday but the hv came and showed me an old school way to latch dd which is basically just shove her face on the boob the minute she opens her mouth. It's suprisingly effective! Not quite pain free yet but a lot better. Supply is still pants though and dd seems voracious. She'll have both boobs, 90ml formula, boob again, 30ml top up, more boob, another 30ml, then maybe just maybe will fall asleep with another breastfeed. Then it starts again an hour or so later. But she has put on 10oz in less than a week!! I'm feeling pretty knackered though. I still want to bf but it's pretty gruelling especially when she's never satisfied from me and is having so many bottles anyway. Not sure how long I'll keep it up unless my supply suddenly takes off.

Welcome ruthie. So sorry you're little one is in scbu. My first dc was in scbu for a week with breathing problems and suspected sepsis. I got discharged after a couple of nights. Coming home without him was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I actually howled instead of cried it was so primal that feeling of grief. I hope he's well and home with you really soon xx