May 2017 #16 Sleep deprivation, mumnesia and first smiles

[crazyzooo]

New thread to celebrate the small things (like first smiles and eating steak with one hand), commiserate over the less fabulous stuff (poonamies, vomit eruptions and wind spring to mind) and someone to talk to at 4am

@dreamofhungarianlanterns phrased what I was going to say to but in more mature way. Is there any chance @jennymac31 you can leave baby nate with DH for a day so he can experience how it is to care for a newborn and do the housework at the same time?

Whilst I am at home I try to do some chores (feeding cats, washing the dishes, cooking dinner, watering tomatoes in the garden, doing piles of laundry and small shopping) on a good days. DH knows that there is no guarantee all of the housework will be done before he comes back from work if baby has got a bad day and/or I'm exhausted. He is stepping up and doing whatever meeds to be done or finished once he comes back from work. He is also much better with bathing the baby and setting him up to sleep than me.

As @dreamofhungarianlanterns said maternity leave is to take care of the little one and he takes priority before the housework. Different arrangements work for different couples but the key is to make it work for BOTH of you, not only for your DH. You need to have calm but firm conversation what are your expectations and how you can manage together as a family.

We're here if you need us

WTF is with this bold font? Sorry about it

@teainbed - I just think he doesn't like dirty dishes around on the worktops if they can be put in the dishwasher etc. Also finds it annoying if I wash clothes and put them on the bed with the intention of hanging them in the wardrobe but don't manage to get round to it because baby starts crying etc.

I'm just a bit annoyed because I had hoped to get stuff done in the house (in a bit of a joint effort) whilst dh was on holiday but last week he managed to damage his knee so was immobile most of the time and the week before his glands had flared up so he was resting to try to recuperate. As a result I did the all nursery runs and took care of baby so he could stay in bed and rest (and had asked me to take baby out so he could be home alone) so didn't get as much done as I had hoped. Yet it seems as though he has forgotten about this.

So much for me stopping my ranting!

newbie it looks ok on my app version?

@newbio - I have left baby nate with dh a couple of times for a few hours when I've had to go out for an appointment and have come back to find nate chilled out & kitchen worktops cleared as well as dishwasher or washing machine on. Tbh I'm not sure if dh would admit if nate was being troublesome.

Anyway am gonna speak to him tonight.

Thanks again ladies xx

Hi all, had tongue tie appointment with dr at hospital who told us baby vanilla doesn't have tongue tie! so maybe he's just a lazy sucker. In the meantime he has developed a white mouth (thrush) so we went to GP this morning who has given us some Nystatin drops.
We have also suffered a few rough nights with colic, with either me or DH having to nurse him to sleep(on us) Have gone out and bought some infacol and gripe water today so will see if they help.
I'm using a close caboo today but still think i will have to limit the time I wear it as my lower back is still sore since the c section and think will have to wait till I build up some core strength again.
Counting down till when I can drive again, although I know I should be making the most of this time to rest!
Hoping everyone has a good weekend

@jennymac31 what everyone else said! Feel free to rant that's what we're here for! Good luck for this evening's conversation 🌺

@newbieho that's odd, are tongue ties not notoriously difficult to diagnose? Is it worth a second opinion? (Disclaimer I have no idea what I'm talking about 🤔)

We had a tough evening yesterday, first one for a while. Baby Rise was awake from 18.00 til 22.45 and refused to admit to being tired. Nothing worked so we ended up playing pass the baby 😖 However she then slept for 5 hours... every cloud!!

Tried to go to baby group today, complete disaster. Walked down with the pram because I wasn't sure I was going to go, and a walk is always good. Got there and only one accessible entrance, room was set up for a wedding reception 🙁 no-one about to ask about anything. Didn't see any other babies either so I don't know what was going on. I was really proud of myself for trying to go, then felt irrationally upset because I couldn't see how to go, no tears but I felt like if someone had been nice to me I would have.... stupid hormones!!

Baby Rise is 6 weeks tomorrow so I want to try driving over the weekend while DH can supervise take over after 5 mins 🤔

Sorry baby brain.... meant @vanilla8 re tongue tie obvs 😖

@1004rise I know what you mean, it's like the world isn't acknowledging the major effort to get yourself there!

@newbieho no private insurance, but I think this is a good reason to dip into my rainy day savings

@jennymac31 today I have managed to put a duvet cover on a duvet and unload (but not reload) the dishwasher, and that was only because my lovely MIL was here holding baby for three hours!

We keep missing all our usual playgroups because the toddler is going to bed late and getting up really late.

Esme DS started preschool the very week DD was born. Obviously I was worried about the timing but he's loving it!

Thank you to whoever suggested the muslin in the moses... (@tea?) I didn't need it before as LO seemed to sleep well but after a few nights of refusing to fall asleep in there I remembered the muslin trick. Not even the slightest grumble! Hooray! Middle of the night feeds are so much more manageable when they aren't followed by a hokey kokey in the moses for half an hour.

In different news we have a front to back roller cheeky monkey clearly not a fan of tummy time!

Excellent news @Rockyroad17 !

@FoxMulder I find it quite hard too to get the timings right in the cycle to go to things. If things happen at the right time like feeding/sleep then great but if it's not (and it's not an essential thing like a doctors appointment) I don't go. Probably sounds a bit defeatist but then this stage isn't forever.

@1004Rise that was a real shame about the baby group.

Does anyone use grobags or similar? We were using blankets until a few weeks ago but he started kicking them off so we changed to sleeping bags. Ours were handmedowns so not new. They seem to bunch up a lot round the neck area? And BabyTea is trying to get his hands in his mouth and gets pissed off with this but also doesn't seem that safe. If you've got decent ones that fit nicely let me know what brand they are! Ours are Mothercare own brand.

@teainbed we were using a grobag but like you had bunching around the neck and it panicked me so went back to a blanket. I've seen an advert on Facebook for some jojo ones which don't look as tight and are the right weight for summer. Tempted to order one and see how he gets on with it as Jacob likes to wrestle his blanket.

@teainbed we've used them, and the favourite here is babasac. It comes with a removable liner so can convert from 2.5 to 1 tog, which goes somewhat to justifying the rather high price...

@tea we have grobag ones. Yet to use them as they are 2.5 tog but they have an additional popper under each arm so that they dont bunch up - they are suitable from birth. TK Maxx sell them, we got two for £25.

Thanks, I'm looking at the Babasac and proper Grobags now, perhaps the secondhand Mothercare ones are a bit rubbish and the filling has resettled a bit? I also wondered about buying a swaddle with Velcro that could be used under his arms.

@BouncingBlueberry the Jojo ones look good, especially the very light muslin ones for summer.

@teainbed a friend brought me the 'swaddle me' Velcro swaddles which were brilliant as baby mighty has fought his way out of everything else, and also likes to have an arm or two free (and I'm not very good at traditional swaddling!)

I haven't been to any baby groups yet, apart from tagging along to my son's classes. I'm going to start baby sensory when she's bigger and baby massage if I can find one.

Taking baby for cranial osteopathy on Monday. I took my son and it seemed like they did nothing but it really helped him sleep better. I'll try anything tbh!

Not using grobags yet as she sleeps tucked right in next to me but I did used to find that they all bunched up, though mine were supermarket ones so maybe need to try proper ones as well.

I've found white noise really helpful for when they're unsettled. I just used an app on my phone last time but bought a myHunny this time, was going to get Ewan the sheep but this seemed better. Totally overpriced tho!

We have the 0.5tog grosnug light and he has that over just a nappy (our flat is hot). It doesn't bunch and seems comfy and safe. I bought two second hand on ebay because they seemed really dear new!

The Merino newborn bag here is fantastic. www.merinokids.co.uk/sleep-bags/newborn/

Afternoon ladies

I'm in agreement with acorncat regarding the white noise app, as baby nate always manages to fall asleep with this in the background.

Argh online shopping is terrible when you're sat around breastfeeding all day! DH should hide my card so I can't sit around buying baby stuff all day. Have ordered a few new sleeping bags to try (they will get handed on or donated if we don't like them long term) and some different swaddle wraps to try.

Tonight BabyTea is swaddled under the arms in a cellular blanket with the fold underneath so hopefully he can't kick them off just yet until he starts rolling around He's also gone to bed between 8 and 9 every night this week which I am really enjoying as I get an hour or so to just chill and have even had a glass of wine tonight!

Hope everyone else has had a good day with their babies and OH's.

@teainbed yes, so much online shopping! Very jealous of your evenings, BabyW is usually up until midnight or later! Although tonight we went out with friends and she slept 7-9ish which she never does - think the background noise of the pub may have helped!

@teainbed @MrsJW15 my online supermarket bills are horrendous!! And that's only because I've bought everything a newborn could need from John Lewis already. Although now we've started talking about mobiles for the changing table/bouncer/etc/etc 😱

Has everyone else's food bills gone up? I struggle to cook economically (and DP isn't so good at meal planning), so we are eating a lot of convenient/quick food. Not necessarily ready meals although we do have them for emergencies, but more fish and veg which are quick to cook. Then there are all the biscuits...
My dad is coming tomorrow morning to help me chop veg for a monster ragu, as we've emptied our freezer already of stockpiles

Had a good week except Friday which was an unmitigated disaster! More on that later. It meanwhile we are getting into some kind of pattern here it seems- bedtime at 9ish to 10 followed by a 3-4 hour sleep, then handover between me and DP followed by a feed and another chunk of up to 2 hours. Then we tend to be up for a while -this one likes early mornings
Grateful for the longer chunk though- hoping this will slowly extend...

Hope everyone has a restful-ish night!