May 2017 #16 Sleep deprivation, mumnesia and first smiles

[crazyzooo]

New thread to celebrate the small things (like first smiles and eating steak with one hand), commiserate over the less fabulous stuff (poonamies, vomit eruptions and wind spring to mind) and someone to talk to at 4am

Wow! From 6-10pm last night, this little man was so unsettled. Crying, angry shouting, frantic feeding etc. I was sure we were in for a long old night. However..... he dropped off at 10.45, at 11.30 I wrapped him put him down, he woke at 4 for a change and feed then went back down 5-8. I'm amazed and relieved! A few more nights like that and the bags under my eyes may even begin to go away. I'm sure it can't last but I'll take whatever he offers gratefully. Baby and I are out for lunch today with a potential new employer so the sleep came at a very good time!
Hope a few of you also managed good nights and have nice Sunday plans.

That's brilliant @Paige84 I bet you feel amazing after that! Shame about the screaming that preceded it.

@mightymouse76 spend the same in Waitrose online every week but am topping up loads more at local shops. We've probably eaten a bit more convenience food though mainly on days when DH is away and it's harder to cook from scratch.

We've had a similar pattern for the last week of so, with a long stretch at the start of the night until 1ish but the second feed, at about 4ish he's still really sleepy and doesn't take much. I wouldn't ignore him when he starts chirping but am wondering if he's really hungry then or not.

@mightymouse76 @teainbed we are also more reliant on convenience food as I'm struggling with finding the time for chopping/stirring/cooking from scratch.

My parents flown over yesterday and will stay for a week. Fingers crossed we are not going to kill each other

@Paige84 are you feeling like a new woman?

Conversely we've just moved while the renovations go on and are now about 1min walk from a large supermarket so I'm getting used to nipping in for all sorts!

On a less cheerful note I think i have mastitis :( going to rest as much as possible today and if no improvement tomorrow to the docs.
Typically my timetable for the first three days next week is busy 😥

Me too savage. It's rubbish. Second day of antibiotics here so feeling a bit better. I have no idea how women coped with it before modern medicine.

I haven't cooked one evening meal since the baby was born four weeks ago! I've done a fair bit of batch cooking of toddler sized meals for the freezer though.

Great to hear some of you are getting some good stretches of sleep and moving towards routines.

I'm really struggling with not being able to put my little one down. After the initial few days where he slept in his sleepyhead, I haven't been able to put him down to sleep at all, he just wakes up after 5 minutes.

We've tried warming up the bed and putting my clothes in it but he just wants to be on me. Anyone else had this and have any tips on how to train them to sleep elsewhere? Apart from the things above, everyone just says he'll grow out of it - any ideas when?!

He's 3 and a half weeks so I'm making the most of all the cuddles but it would be great to not be attached 24/7

Uptown baby savage sleeps much longer in the sling. She's just over 4 weeks. Last few days she'll sleep a bit in her bouncy chair and on her change mat. Before then naps were 5 mins if put down.

@uptown8617 We are having the exact same issue! LO feeds 9-10ish and then won't let us put him down until about 3am and wakes again at about 4am. Then he's up! He will usually let me put him down for a nap during the day (anywhere between 1-5hrs) but he usually coincides this nap with me going out somewhere with him so I can't nap too.

I've tried white noise, swaddling, muslin smelling of me as a sheet, hot water bottle to pre warm his bed...I really don't want to co-sleep so don't know what else to try (although I have ordered a dummy as part of my food shop tomorrow to try that, despite promising myself I wouldn't use a dummy).

Sorry to hear about those of you with mastitis. I had a blocked duct and that was bad enough!

Pleased to hear some of you are starting to get into routines / get some half decent sleep (bit jealous!!).

I've given up bf, which I feel so sad about. I persevered after a traumatic section & difficult recovery, and she fed so well! Last week though she started getting really stressed on the breast - full on screaming, pulling off, clearly hungry. Tried some formula & she downed it! I started mix feeding, but it was clear she preferred bottle feeding. Felt a bit rejected, as I really enjoyed the closeness of bf, and it helped us bond during my anxiety / PND, but I know I have to do what is best for her, and that feels like formula now. Just to reassure those of you who are bf with difficult sleep - formula has NOT given us any better sleep stretches!

Barnes why don't you want to consider cosleeping?

To those struggling to put the LO down we noticed that baby Rocky would sleep with blankets rolled up like a sausage under the sheet in a kind of U shape (not at the head end). Midwife suggested it to us. We can't do it anymore as the moses isn't big enough!

Savage mainly due to SIDS risk (and I know people who do cosleeping feel it doesn't increase the risk) but if something was to happen and I rolled on him or something I'd never be able to live with myself.

Rocky I might try the sausage thing...

@Barnes79 The only way I've managed so far is co-sleeping and I thought I'd never do it. I can get a good few hours at night with him next to me, the second wake up often ends up with him actually on me though. I also bought a dummy (for emergencies only) but he doesn't take it (which I'm secretly pleased about).

I hired a sling from the local sling library this week and he'll sleep in that so I can now get some things done during the day but I'd still like him to go down. It would be handy for taking him out in the pram which he currently hates!

@Barnes79 @uptown8617 that sounds really rough and probably not sustainable if you're not cosleeping. When you say you've tried various things what did you do and for how long? I swaddle and do shush pat until he's asleep then put him down. It can take a while. There's a YouTube video of the Happiest Baby on the Block that is another helpful technique.

@Sipperskipper any breastfeeding is brilliant, and you'll be just grand with formula. But I can understand the sadness.

Also sorry to hear about the mastitis @savagehk and @EsmesBees hope you feel better soon.

@Sipperskipper I can second you on the formula doesn't equal better night time sleep. Jacob generally has a feed every 2.5-3 hours during the night and after the last one around 5am is usually his favourite time to practice his gymnastic routines in the Next2me.
Preparing myself for an awful night. He's slept so much today. Although he's currently enjoying being bounced on his dad's legs to the different acts at Glastonbury so hopefully he'll tire himself out enough to go to sleep tonight.

@teainbed mine doesn't seem to like swaddling and just wriggles out. I've tried warming the bed, putting my clothes in the bed, white noise etc. He either feeds to sleep or I can rock and shush him to sleep but as soon I put him in his bed he wakes up and I have to start all over again. It's been easier to let him sleep on/with me but I think I'll have to try again this week as I can't do it forever. Probably need to really keep at it but it's so tiring!

I have another that can't be put down. She pretty much lives in the sling during the day and we cosleep out of necessity at night. Frustratingly she's actually happier sometimes to be be down when she's awake, she'll just fuss if held. But her reflux and hiccups start within a few mins of being anything but upright. I did manage to get half an hours nap not on me by putting her down at an angle on her stomach but I would not do that at night or if I wasn't checking on her every few minutes.

For those of you not co-sleeping and struggling to settle babies, I felt like this with my first. We stuck with the swaddling, and reswaddled when she woke up. Night time was 9:30-6, and eventually with just one wake up in-between. I stopped night feeding around 6 months I think, which then led to being up for a while resettling again without milk.
However - my point was - we always struggled to sleep her on her back. She hated it and it always involved a lot of wake ups. So daytimes it was on the side, and occasionally on the front. Nighttimes were spent resettling every time she woke up or us falling asleep upright when feeding. It felt like I'd never sleep again.
Once she learnt to roll we stopped swaddling, moved to gro-bags and she started to sleep better, and still prefers to sleep on her front now.
So practice tummy time and rolling over and hopefully this can work for you too!

Wrote a long co sleeping reply and app didn't post! Ffs.

Anyway this book is worth a read.
Look at this on eBay www.ebay.co.uk/itm/302210263151

If you want to discuss the studies in happy to give my opinion on the ones i read last time. Imo they're a bit flawed.

The thing with the age of babies in the group is that the Moro or startle reflex is very strong still so they're sort of supposed to do that when they're put down. I agree about persisting with swaddling even if it's just under the arms. If they're fast asleep on your chest you can also use a blanket folded up across the back of their body as a sort of mattress and then when you transfer them to the cot they don't notice the difference in texture of bedding or temperature. You can also hold them a bit in the cot to make sure their body and arms are completely relaxed. I think this is where Sleepyheads and things come into their own although as you say they don't work for everyone. This is all assuming they've not got bad wind or reflux or anything like that. Again it does get better and they do eventually get it but it's so tiring when you're in the middle of it.

The app posted my co sleeping reply on a different thread

I also used a lambskin for a bit in the cot which also worked well. The Lullaby Trust says they're safe until a baby can roll over which is a few months off for most of us.