********** December 2006 PART 2 **************

[castlesintheair]

Will this do?

BP, I would call a charity like NSPCC and ask for advice. They may say call social services or they may be able to ask you some questions which will help you work out if the children are genuinely at risk or not. It's a very tricky situation. let us know what you do...

ok, my question :

Easter is coming and i want to take DD1 (3) to church for a mass. DD2 (3.5 mths) is b/feeding approx every 2 hours and is a snacker. I can try and feed her before we go but as my church has long services there is a risk she'll need another feed while we are there.

Should i
a) feed her there?
b) go outside to feed her? (it might be cold?)
c) leave early and get home to feed her?

what would you do?

i was going to open a thread about it but cant bear any controversy so thought i'd ask you guys.

I breastfed in church last week. I was sat at the back anyway but all the latecomers walked in and saw, but that was not a problem at all. It's such a natural thing to do that anyone who is a Christian (or any decent being as well) should not object. If any one does then point out that this is how God created you, to be able to suckle. I believe there are plenty of references to a suckling child in the bible (and even men suckling babes going on that web site from last week!)
Go for it!

Absolutely, feed in church. Its not disrespectful. If you're worried, sit at the back.

I've fed in a number of churches, synagogues, a Sikh temple, you name it, and have not yet been smote

Sorry for sounding so blunt and unhelpful bp - I was just putting dds to bed.

Have you ever spoken to your neighbour sober?

As for b/f Glassslipper, feed her there, I think.

GS - Are you there sort of person who would be able to stick out any glares? Or answer back in a polite and "Christian" way? (Would you be brave enough to stick your tongue out?

I would think abiut how I would handle each type of situation so you are prepared to handle whatever comes your way.

lol. i have fed dd anywhere so far and never had any concerns. the old glare but i dont really care about those. it's just a church thing. catholic guilt and all that

same here. I took both girls on xmas day.

need to arrange christening

BP, been thinking about this and had a chat with dh. If your dd's bf's dad teaches at neighbours kids' school, then HE can do something. There will be a teacher in charge of Child Protection issues at the school who will know what to do. I'd speak to him and tell him everything you know and ask him to start CP procedures via school. Alarm bells ought to be ringing there anyway, especially if the dcs are missing a lot of school. Is it a different school to your dd? Not that it matters but it will be less obvious it's you who's involved if it is.

Oli, thanks for that . her kids do go to a different school to my DD. I hadn't realised that there would be a Child Protection person there. I'll speak to DD's BF's dad tomorrow.

(Did you know that if you phone the NSPCC and their lines are engaged, they actually say 'your call is important to us'?! I've just been on hold for ages and then DD1 appeared so I had to hang up. I will phone them once she's asleep)

My neighbour used to be a bright, interesting, charming lady but in the last few years has become more dependent on alcohol. She has even taken wine from our store in the (locked) shed outside. I'm a bit of a wimp, and I worry about how she'll react if I challenge her. I did tell her today that I can't help her if she's drunk and I don't really want her in my house or with my children when she is.

Am feeling very guilty about not doing something about this earlier. And for dragging all of you into it

Don't feel guilty, ultimately it's her DH who should be taking steps to help her. I think you have waited as long as you can

I hope that there is a good outcome for all especially the LO

Hey BP - sorry to hear you're in such a tricky situation - no answers I'm afraid just same suggestions as everyone else! ((hugs))

BP, I feel really sorry for your neighbour. And for you. Tricky situation to be in. She is obviously suffering. Alcoholism is a disease as you know. Maybe she has untreated PND that has caused her to hit the bottle? Who knows? Can you not talk to her when she's sober? Or speak to her DH? That's if you want to get involved at all. Though it sound's like you don't have much option if she wanders in and helps herself to your wine! Why is she bruised?

GS (a) definitely

Olihan, I've emailed you. Thanks xxx

Well, I'm hoping that tonight I may get my total number of hours sleep for the past 3 days into double figures! Ds2 has another chesty thing - a cold but without the runny nose! - and is really unsettled over night, not being able to resettle himself without a nipple. Dummy and daddy just won't do. Then he decides he wants to play for a while and fidgets and kicks until I give in. I made dh take him at 1am last night and they sat and watched the cricket world cup together - aww [soppy ]!

Is anyone else's LO very clingy at the moment? Ds2 is only happy when I'm holding him, he'll last about 5 mins if dh or someone else has him then starts wailing but as soon as I take him back he stops. It's upsetting dh a bit I think and I'm not sure if it's because ds2 is ill, if it's just a phase or if he's just a clingy boy. Ds1 and dd were never ever clingly so it's a bit of a shock.

Realised I never said 'hi' to littlemisslate and 'welcome back' to LaBoheme. LB, glad you're feeling better and enjoying your dd. I saw your other thread but didn't want you to feel like you were being inundated with people from here. So pleased you came through it.

Has anyone seen/heard from Spina recently? She seems to have disappeared. Was also thinking about Mardybum and little Hester the other night, I hope they had some good news.

I've been thinkning about Mardybum and Hester recently as well. I hope things are okay!

DS is'nt too clingy ATM, but always wants to see one of us, be it DD, DH or me, just so he knows we're there.

And I dont know if it's the way DH holds him or because DH has boney shoulders but DS loves to chew and suck on daddy's shoulder whenever he holds him!

Castles, emailed you back.

Northernmama's another one I've been thinking of. Hope everything's OK with her LOs.

I spoke to NSPCC. I'm going to try to speak to neighbour's DP tomorrow.

Another good night aided by calpol and a big white tooth shaped lump and ven more of a point. Crying resumed already after morning smiles.

Off to lakes todat for the week so this is me signing out. How will I survive without MN?

Have a good holiday Indith, I love the lakes. opefully when we move we can get there a bit more often, it's a bit of a trek from Bristol.

Well, I'm feeling like a new woman this morning. Ds2 went to bed after a feed at 7pm, woke at 11.30 for a bottle of EBM, slept in his cot until 3.30. Came into bed with me for a feed, went back to sleep at 4.30 until 7.30. I'd forgotton what it felt like to get sleep!

I've started expressing before I go to bed so dh can do the first feed of the night and I'm getting about 6oz at a time. Ds2 only has 5oz from a bottle so it's stocking up quite nicely in the freezer. Can't believe I can get so much, however, I think I'm at major risk of RSI if I keep it up - I've got 2 avent handpumps so I do both sides at a time but it's hard on the old wrists/hands! I'm trying to persuade dh to let me get a double electric and the good old avent squeaking is doing wonders for my case . Poor dh hates it!

Can I just ask those of you whose older ones have had chicken pox, what are the symptoms before the spots appear. Ds1 has been in a strange mood all week, veering betwenn very tired, quiet and listless to raging hyperactivity with screaming tantrums if anything goes wrong. It's driving me nuts and I don't know whether he's sickening for something or if it's just another lovely phase!

Oh BP, just seen your message from last night. What did the NSPCC say? Are you okay about talking to her dp?

Oli, the NSPCC said that there was more than enough to do a Social Work referral, and the lady I spoke to seemed quite anxious to do it there and then. However, I amd going to speak to her DP. He's a lovely bloke, and he must be completely bewildered. But he has to take some action as well, so I'm going to be very un-British about things and be completely upfront with him about what happens around here when he's working.

It's true though, that its an illness, and that it can strike anyone, in any town, in any street.

Wish me luck

DD2 slept in her cot between (get this) 10pm and 6am last night, without a feed or a fuss! I'm one happy, well rested mummy today!

BP, I thought I was doing well last night but I'm so of your night . Here's to another good night tonight!

I wondered if the NSPCC might want to refer but I'm glad you feel you want to talk to the dp first. This might sound awful, but just have a think about how deeply you want to become involved with it all before you go over. You've got your own family to think of and supporting another family through something like alcoholism is a huge committment. I hope I'm not speaking out of turn but I've become over involved in helping other people and it's very hard to extricate yourself. I'd also get your dd's friend's dad to flag it up at school, regardless of what happens with the dp/NSPCC. At least then someone other than just you is keeping an eye on the kids.

Oh God, sorry, that sounds SO bossy, I'm contending with feeding ds2 and refereeing ds1 and dd so I'm not coming over very well. Good luck later, whatever you decide.

Olihan, you are jealous of BPs night, but I'm jealous of how much you can express in the evening! DS only took 1 side this morning, I expresses the other and even in the morning I could only get 1 1/2 oz. I think I would be lucky to express 2 1/2 oz if I did it in the evening. And, when I feed him at 6.30, he often still seems hungry when he goes to bed, not crying hungry but just rooting a bit for a bit more milk, although he then settles well and sleeps for 3 hours. I expressed 1 oz to add to a prior 1 1/2 oz I had and gave to dh to do feed and bed whilst I did dinner last night - he came down saying 'he's still hungry, what do I do?!' - but cuddles and put to bed still worked. (he had had one side at 5.30 so it wasn't like ds was only getting 2 1/2 oz as he had already had half the feed).
Re-reading above it is a bit rambly.
So I seem to have a problem with expressing which is tieing me to be there for every feed! Am attempting at mo to express twice a day even if it is only 1/2 oz to maybe build up a stock (should have done more in the early days when I could get 5 oz in a pumping session)