***************December 2006 ****************

[lucy5]

I can't access the thread with my rubbish Spanish internet connection. Could someone start a new thread and link it on the old one too. Thankyou. Hope alls well!

Thanks Castles, x-posted! I think that's possibly the disadvantage of MN - too much negativity about ff. If I look at ds1 and dd I know they have come to no harm at all from being ff and that I've still been the best mum I can be to them but that stupid guilt still niggles.

Elibean - I too have started to get shooting pains in my boobs, esp the left one. I am now convinced baby isn't latched on correctly.
The problem about being in Spain is that there are NO HVs, BF experts or councillors etc so I have no one that can check if I'm doing it right or not , it's really starting to worry me...Looking it up n the internet just isn't the same
Olihan - I understand exactly where you're coming from, my LO has no patterns to his feeding either and I'm convinced he isn't getting enough as he cries so much and is still sleeping far too little (imo)I tried him with a ff bottle the other day and it broke my heart, I couldn't stop crying after as I want the BF to work so much... Never thought it would be so hard

Oh and my LO became horribly spotty at 3 wks too, all over cheeks, chin, back of neck, ears and head. However, they do seem to be clearing up now at 6 wks. Hopefully they won't come back as they look frighful. Apparently its the hormones from our milk..

Bebespain, I found these videos strangely helpful when I was struggling - sorry if you've already seen them. www.thebirthden.com/Newman.html

And wouuld someone please tell DD2 that mummy's nipples are not the centre of the universe and she could settle quite happily on her ownif she just gave it a go???? She's been practically glued to me for 48 hours now

Bebespain, the bf cousellor I saw last week adusted ds2's position so his bottom lip was resting on the skin away from the brown bit around my nipple and my actual nipple was right at the top of his mouth, so you can see lots of brown above his top lip. You can also feel his tongue massaging your breast instead of the nipple itself. It's tricky getting him to open his mouth wide enough but if I can get his bottom lip in the right place then the difference in feeling is obvious. As I said, ds2 isn't keen on staying in the right position but I'm hoping it will become second nature before too long.

Lol, babypowder, dd last night took one look at the bottle (expressed milk) and batted it away, hard, then rooted frantically....bottles are only accepted from dh, unless she's ravenous.

((Oli)) I had the same feelings with dd1, who always preferred bottle to breast and I never had enough milk...spent ages feeling guilty as the formula slowly took over, though tbh the following years made me feel a lot better. Like you say, there's a lot more to being a Mum than bf'ing, and you sound like a lovely one (want to be mine? could use one! ).

Thanks all for feedback on shooting pains, suspect Castles is right - expressing to blame, have the pump on full to hasten the process . And speaking of which, I need to go and express a bit now before lugging dds out to meet dd1's friend who has a stinking cold am doing best to avoid bringing them back to the house, but can't avoid everyone with a cold till dd2 is older, it would mean isolating dd1 totally! Aaargh...wonder if they make teeny masks for vulnerable babies....(kidding).

ps about guilt and sleep deprivation: Oli, IME they go hand in hand. Amazing how I feel like an inadequate, incompetent mother on the worst knackered days (weekend just gone) and pretty ok on days when I've slept (um, sometime last week??!). HOpe we both get longer stretches soon

I wish they would hand out free uninterrupted sleep sessions in the bounty packs!

Took dd to have her BCG but she has a cough so I rebooked for next week.

MIL looked after dd1 and when we returned, she cradled dd2 whilst I made 3 cuppas, put on 2 loads of washing, 1 load of drying and made lunch.

she didn'teven offer to help even though I told her that I felt completely wiped out

now i'm left with a screamimg infant who won't be put down in her moses basket and i really need a kip

Oh Margo, my mum's like that. Thinks she's 'helping' by holding the baby while I run round like the proverbial fly catching up. MIL on the other hand dispatches me to the sofa while she cooks, cleans, tidies and sorts out ds1 and dd. AND she brings me food and drink. Guess which one I'd rather have to visit?!

Cheers for your details, will post the list a bit later when I've got 2 hands free.

can i join the weak right side club! trying so hard to increase my milk supply!

Im expressing loads at the mo,for Amberli to feed from bottles. with a snuffly nose it definately helps....its been a real journey this time round re.feeding!

Olihan, I read your bf-woes post nodding my head all the way through. It's almost spooky how much it mirrors how I feel. Spent whole wknd in tears thinking i was crap mother and charlie wouldn't want to know me if I couldn't feed him. But today, after more sleep due to expressed night feed from DP, the world is a better place. And Charlie is much more content today, which I wonder perhaps is due to my better mood? www.breastfeeding.com has some videos too which seem to have helped with my latching issues. But how do you move baby's head when he doesn't know what he's supposed to do!?

On a lighter note, spent 1/2 hour today cleaning projectile poo off my carpet. Who's bright idea was it to let DS lie on floor on changing matt with no nappy??? I literally had to cut the bodysuit off him to avoid poo in hair scenarios....

Yuk, I had forgotten what it was like to change a newborn.

I used 4 nappies to change dd2 - the poo just kept on coming!

Had to change dd1 sheets as poo had leaked from her nappy during afternoon nap

dd1 weed on the floor, so had to clear that up from the carpet and dd2 was sick in my hair!

And the dog wiped her bum on the living room floor

My mum came up to "help" just after DD2 was born. I told her she'd have to bring lunch as I wouldn't have time to cook her anything. So she brings lunch for herself and not for me She's like yours Olihan & Margo by the sound of it - spends the whole time holding DD2 so I can run round like a headless chicken - I even caught her having a sleep on the sofa. Err, isn't that meant to be me doing that?!?
MY MIL on the other hand is a dream ... trouble is she's hardly ever in the country & then my SIL likes to hog her !

Something is bound to go dreadfully wrong tonight - 7.15pm and all 3 DCs asleep in bed

Castles, that reminds me of another classic from my mum. She came down 2 days after ds2 was born, with my stepdad who's a miserable sod at the bst of times. Come lunctime she makes lunch for the kids but nothing for me, who's been glued to the sofa feeding almost all morning. Then my stepdad starts dropping hints about how hungry he is so she makes him a sandwich, using up the last of the bread and ham. Then she has the cheek to say to my sister 'well, they don't have food in at the best of times, so there was really no hope for any at this time'. WTF? We'd been at the PILs until the 27th and had only been home 7 hours when I went into labour. I'd only been home from hospital less than 24 hours when she came. Sorry I didn't have time to do a full tesco shop, Mum, will try harder next time! OTOH, the PILs brought stuff for lunch and dinner, cooked it all, washed up, etc, etc. Can't believe my own mother is so thoughtless. Drives me mad!

Well done Castles on getting them all to bed. Dh's work is starting to involve nights away again so that'll be a fun hour juggling bedtime AND ds2 wanting to feed the whole time. Needless to say I am dreading it!

Gloria, it's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with the bf. I was in tears earlier when I put dd down for her nap 2 hours late because ds2 wouldn't stop feeding. I had to put him in the pram and leave him to scream while I sorted her. I'm finding juggling all 3 sets of needs so hard at the moment, I can't seem to do the right thing by any of them.

Can't believe I'm even considering doing this again, I must be certifiable!

Oh, meant to post earlier and say thank you Eli, for your lovely post, made me very weepy but happy too. Amazing how a couple of sentences on a chat forum can make you feel so differently.

Aaah, as Mums are being discussed...mine is staying tonight, en route to Paris to look after hers. dd had the worst ever evening of wind and pain (tail end of her cold, I suspect, doing bad things to her guts - at least, hope its just that) and dh was at work till late.

Every five seconds during bathing dd1, expressing milk, just about anything other than holding dd2, I would hear 'quick! she needs something!' because dd2 was squeaking and writhing....and if holding dd2, 'what should I do with this? how do I do that?' how on earth this woman managed to bring up three children I'll never know..talk about helpless. And anxious. Willing, admittedly, but I now remember why I don't usually ask my Mum for help

See, Oli, I meant it - could use a new and wonderful one

My back is utterly shot from walking around with my 5+kg girl on my shoulder. Poor little thing, am going to re-try Infacol on top of the other meds tomorrow - god I'm knackered.

ps note time on last post: yup, expressing again, dd too snuffly/windy to feed.

pps Castles - wow, hope it lasted!

Forgot to say 'welcome' Margo - sorry, thought it but brain and fingers disconnected

Hello Ladies,

Just a quick one to say I have not been here as BT disconnected half our town last Wednesday up to last night!

DS has a horrid cold and actually stopped breathing on Sunday while we were at a local park, so in the middle of busy coffee bar I had to blow down his nose to clear the blockage - I have never been so scared in my life. Thank God for instinct. He's been fine since, but the house stinks of Olbas Oil and Vicks and every little squeak he makes, like Eli is attended on the double!

Have'nt read all the post so will catch up later. But eli glad to see M is home again
XX

Hi everyone, Is it ok to join you, My little boy was born on Christmas day, and I have 2dds, 5 and 3. Struggling a little bit making it to the school on time now i have an extra one to sort out!!

Hi Lollipoz, Welcome! How lovely to have a Christmas Day baby. I have 2 DCs aged 5 & 3 too & a 9 week old DD. Yes it is a struggle in the mornings isn't it? But I find it's better once you are out. At least you have achieved getting out the door if nothing else! At the moment we are off school etc with bugs and it is much harder because I never seem to get anywhere with my day .

Sorry to hear about your LO MilkShake. How scary for you but TG for mother's instinct. Roll on Spring and the end of all these colds & bugs!

Hope you get some sleep Eli.

Olihan, I find the reality easier than the thought IYKWIM. My DH is away the whole time, he can never help with school runs, feeding, bathing etc. In fact he only sees the DCs at the w/e I spend Sundays dreading the week but it's never that bad in the end.

Oooh the stories I could tell you about my mother Maybe another time ...

Big thanks Babypowder and Gloria for the video links - will take a look at those and another big thanks to Olihan for the tips re latching on, much appreciated.
LO has now reached the 10lb mark (yipee) so although his weight gain is on the slow side, thank God he is actually putting weight on as I have been really worried about this.
Love the projectile poos - LO did a whopper of a one yesterday actually reaching the sofa!!

wow. DD2 actually slept well last night and didnt cluster feed all evening. Maybe the growth spurt is coming to an end or it was a one off but it really helped. She slept 8pm-10pm then 11pm-3am then 4am to 6am. My best night so far. She's also been a dream today while we've been out.

DD1 also just been to the loo by herself for the first time and asked for 'carrots & peas' for lunch so I'm feeling like a very good mummy

Before anyone asks this isnt really a bragging post (not too much) but one to say that even when you really low you can have a good day that seems to make everything look a bit better

Everyone is doing so well. Keep at it