***************December 2006 ****************

[lucy5]

I can't access the thread with my rubbish Spanish internet connection. Could someone start a new thread and link it on the old one too. Thankyou. Hope alls well!

Devongirl. You mustnt beat yourself up over this. I had mild PND with DD1 but didnt admit it until about 4months. Go and see your health visitor or GP, explain how you feel and it will help you to talk about it. I didnt take medication but had to really make the effort to go out lots. For some reason the fresh air and sunshine really helped, as did going to baby rhyme time session. She was too young to get it but it meant you could meet other mums without 'having' to be sociable if that makes sense. You gradually make conversation, as opposed to going to a mother & baby group where you have to mix.

castles is right about supplements too. make sure you eat - often. we spend so much time looking after them and not ourselves that we get even more tried and run down.

hth

Devon, as others (far more experienced than me others) have said go talk to someone.
As for feeding, don't beat yourself up. If you want to get back on the breast get advice but there is no reason to feel guilty about going onto formula, it is hard enough to deal with a new baby without added guilt!
Get out and about, have a walk morning and afternoon, fresh air is great and it means an almost guaranteed nap for your lo. mum and baby groups make you feel normal too and are great for advice.
Ds sucked his thumb last night for the first time. Does your ds suck his hands lots? Could be worth encouraging as thumbs are not lost and dropped like dummies!
Lastly, take some time out to sleep. either express for a night or use formula and let your dh do the night,make this weekend yours to get those batteries charged up.

Take care

Devon, as others (far more experienced than me others) have said go talk to someone.
As for feeding, don't beat yourself up. If you want to get back on the breast get advice but there is no reason to feel guilty about going onto formula, it is hard enough to deal with a new baby without added guilt!
Get out and about, have a walk morning and afternoon, fresh air is great and it means an almost guaranteed nap for your lo. mum and baby groups make you feel normal too and are great for advice.
Ds sucked his thumb last night for the first time. Does your ds suck his hands lots? Could be worth encouraging as thumbs are not lost and dropped like dummies!
Lastly, take some time out to sleep. either express for a night or use formula and let your dh do the night,make this weekend yours to get those batteries charged up.

Take care

oops

indith, my dd found her thumb last week and we have had sleep in 7 hour stretches at night ever since! I knooooow you cant take a thumb away later as you can with a dummy but i am hoping like DD1 that DD2 will drop it at about 6 months.

I'd say it is btter than a dummy even though you can't remove it. Apparantly my sister had a dummy and parents could hear whn she dropped it and knew th crying would start 2 seconds later. My dad spent the first weeks of my life teaching me to suck my thumb and I was a fantastic sleeper (so I'm told). Hope it converts this one I was up 5 times and projectile vomited on twice by 1.15am! Mind you did then get 4 hours with out feeding with a short wake for a few farts half way so could be viewed as an improvement

Devon - with my dd (now 3) I cried many times a day for the first 6 months, then daily for the next 6 months. Looking back I think the main causes were exhaustion from the physical and mental challenges of being a parent (felt like I had been signed up for the marines!) and hunger/weight loss. So get whatever sleep you can, whenever you can (I started spending most of the afternoon asleep in bed with dd) and put food out that is easy to eat with one hand over nursing or held baby (eg - fruit, bread and honey etc) I had tough emergency cs to recover from - do you? I think that makes things hard too.

If you want to keep on bf, I would recommend getting in touch with LLL (la Leche League) - a bf counsellor might be able to come out to you and give advice and moral support. A counsellor will be able to help with the breast rejection and expressing issues. The national number is 0845 1202918 - your call will be routed to the local counsellor.

Finally (she drones on), as a 2nd time parent I now know that some babies are more challenging than others - ds is a complete doddle compared to dd. The good news is that none of these stages last very long and it does get easier every day. Big hug and hth .

I'm off back to lurking now folks - that's all I can manage with one hand! but it's nice checking in now and then!

hi all, well the hv came and weighed DD. She is 10lb 5oz.

She has put on 29oz in the last 7 weeks which equates to about 4oz per week. I was a bit worried as she weighs the same as dd1 at this stage but was over a lb heavier at birth. She has also gone from nearly the 25th centile to just on the 9th.

but the hv didnt seem worried at all all that bf must be doing something

{{{Devongirl}}}

Satin- My dd2 is 10lbs and will be 4 months old on the 24th!!! She is only just on the 0.4th centile! Please dont worry!!!

I wish my DD would find her thumb! Mind you, I cant complain...she sleeps very well!

Devongirl....you sound like me moaning about the cleaning of tthe breastpump! It drives me crazy too!!! I need to get pumping now actually...please remember, you're not alone! My HV said more moms have depression than they actually know! keep your chin up...the first few months are tough, but when it picks up,it's just amazing!

Hi Devongirl - I was wondering the same thing myself actually! My DD is 11 weeks tomorrow and I've been feeling really blue all week. I think maybe the hormones that help us cope with less sleep etc have started to die down and everything seems a bit more relentless for want of a better word.

Now - when you say DS has rejected the breast - what's happening? Is he screaming and pulling away and doing a woodpecker impression by any chance???? If so - you're in luck - all the babies round here have done the same thing and we never quite got to the bottom of why they were doing it but we found that using a dummy to calm them down and holding them tightly 'to sleep' and then offering again.... it was very stressful but it did come good and over the 24 hours, they all got enough to eat and put on the right amount of weight etc. Also sometimes offering the other side instead helped sometimes too. I'll stop wittering incase this isn't the problem you've been having .

p.s. I ended up forcing myself to go to a baby yoga class today for the first time and everyone was so lovely and DD kicked and gurgled and smiled and I came out feeling so much better.

Thanks to everyone who wrote me kind and very helpful messages. I had a much better day than I thought I would, and DS was gorgeous and the perfect little baby all day. I feel stupid for moaning now, although I know that it is a chemical imbalance in my brain and nothing to do with how blessed I actually feel. I will go and get some multivitamins and lots of fruit and veg tomorrow, and I will talk to the HV on Monday. DH has been gorgeous today, and it's been great to talk it through with him and admit I need a bit more help with things.

I love mumsnet - I am sure it's saved a lot of women from going nuts (and I'm officially on the list now)

Yes, softymum, I did have an emergency CS to recover from (which as you know is like having a bad car crash then being handed a small helpless baby to look after).

I have started a regime of taking out the dummy whenever DS is asleep and I'm going to work on that for now, and also encourage him to find his hand and his thumb. I will beat it!

Thanks again

x

p.p.s Satin - really don't worry - babies grow long and then wide and then both together etc etc, so they can easily hop around the centiles - which incidently means of 100 babies....yours is the same as the 9 lightest. 100 is not a large sample number in scientific terms, so would be deemed fairly hopeless in comparative terms! Also - I can't remember if you are BF of FF? That will make a difference too. You must trust your instincts in terms of alertness & feeling healthy etc. I believe that's the best measure personally.

Hi Runninglate - yes that was the problem, but it went on even after I'd calmed him down with the dummy - he really really didn't want to know. I tried it for several days and in the end I hated it, he hated it, and we (DH and me) talked it through and decided that 6 weeks of only breastmilk was a brilliant start, and any more than that would just be a bonus, so that's when we introduced the formula/expressing rotation. Now he definitely seems happier and more satisfied after the formula bottles, so it seems pointless dragging out the expressing when it's making me so depressed. I don't feel guilty this evening at all about it, he is totally thriving. But I keep having recurring guilty feelings whenever I see other people breastfeeding, as I wanted to do it for 6 months, but hey, I also wanted a water birth and said I'd never give my baby a dummy and both those ideas went out the window too!

Anyway, thanks for the advice tho, all gratefully received

x

Oh and sorry you're feeling blue as well, it's really crap isn't it, but we have to remind ourselves that it will pass - with a bit of sleep!

xxxxxxxx

Brilliant - you have to do what you want to do - where there's a will there's a way and all that and sod everyone else. It's your family and you really do know what's best!!!

I always say 'don't ever regret any decision that you've made because you made it for a reason after a great deal of thought'.

Gosh that sounds pompous doesn't it

For what it's worth, the woodpecker stage seemed to go on for a total of about 3-4 weeks and then stoped as suddenly as it started.

Most peculiar.

p.s. I'm not trying to persuade you to get the boobs out again!

Yes Devongirl, I was only just saying to my HV the other day that I didn't believe in using dummies with my firstborn initially and was horrified when my MIL bought some for me. At the time she way as well have stuck a straw in a bottle of diamond white and said "suck on that" to my baby.

When the colic arrived, I would've tried anything and my eldest had a dummy from 2 to 12 months.

I never told anyone execpt my parents and MIL, the shame was too much!

HV also laughed when I told her I truly believed that I would never shout at my children - Yes I fully believed that for a year and haven't stopped shouting yet!!

My current threat is "if you don't sit on the potty/behave/pick your toys up, you won't watch Simpsons tonight" I hate The Simpsons, DD1 and DH loves it!

DD2 doesn't really like the dummy and has only just got used to finding her thumb in the last week.

Devongirl, glad you had a better day, I truly wished I had posted on mumsnet when ds1 was 9 weeks as my situation was so much like yours.

Having a baby first-time round is so relentless, you're doing it all 24/7 without any time to rest or recover from what is a major operation (I had emergency cs too). I gave up bf at 9 weeks also after introducing a bottle of formula t 6 and the only thing that stopped me doing it earlier was guilt. Doesn't matter how you feed your baby if you and he are both happy and I hope you will be. Ditto for a dummy, ds1 still has one for bedtime (he's 3) and it's been an absolute lifesaver at times. Having children is hard enough, take as many shortcuts as you can to get through it!

The first 3 months is so tough, but you will turn around one day and it suddenly all starts slotting into place.

Gosh what a lovely supportive lot you are !

DG - So glad to hear you are having a better time of it. Nothing really prepares you for motherhood and tbh it can be really hard work sometimes (trust me I'm on number 3 ! )but you do just evolve and grow into it. Just do whatever suits you and your family.

Jaberwocky - you said your LO was born 4 weeks early too, has anyone said he might not meet his milestones at the 'defined' time ? The only reason I ask is that my LO is now 10 weeks and has only just begun to smile properly (my other 2 smiled at 6 & 7 weeks)and is still sleeping loads ? I'm not particularly worried but just interested.

Such a lovely day today, must try and get out soon.

so after my wonderful day came a grizzly night, then a grizzly day yesterday and another grizzly night. Seem to be back to waking every 1.5 hours having seemed to be managing 2.5-3 finally. By yesterday evening ds had worn me out with crying and had sought comfort from the breast so much I didn't feel like I had any milk left. He has been grizzling since he woke up this morning too, all he seems to want is to suck, hands, breasts, anything though breast`seems to quieten him more (he doesn't get the milk flowing though and yells at me if I get a letdown). He has now dropped off on me but wakes up and cries if I dare move him anyway but upright. Oh the joy of little people

Sounds like a growth spurt maybe, Indith? I've felt like I'm 'empty' both times ds2's gone through them, and completely exhausted! Sympathies, it is awful but will only last a couple of days, he's just trying to get even bigger for you! Just try and take it easy in the meantime, and get dp to handle some of the grumps whilst you get a lie down in !

BTW, I'm using fluffles now, thanks for showing me yours, they're v.nice (although I'm also v.keen on my wambamboos). I just hung them out to dry I expect if I go back they'll be ready! I went to a massage group on tuesday and out of 15 babies mine was the only one in a cloth nappy, I felt quite proud really. I was particularly pleased with his leopard print wrap as well!