July 2016

[primarynoodle]

Hopefully this works...

So we can keep in touch and pass on words of wisdom!

Perhaps someone clever could link to the stats?

Hi,

Have been reading through everyone's updates but not had much to add, it's so good to read that there's similar issues/worries/questions out there. Some great tips, thank you, on lying back to help bfing when boobs are huge and winding.
Huey is doing well on the feeding and we've cracked the inverted nipple - although after 30+ years never facing out, suddenly having the little man chomping on it is not the most comfortable of experiences!

For those with unsettled/active babies, we've swaddled Huey from day one, for the first couple of weeks in a massive muslin, and I think it's really helped settle him at night. Last week he kept escaping and all the wriggling/face scratching meant a backward step, so I bought one of these:
m.johnlewis.com/grobag-gro-snug-newborn-lightweight-swaddling-blanket/p/2056494

Can't recommend enough, comes with a great guide for what to wear underneath (less paranoia about overheating etc) and no need for blankets that can get kicked off. I generally wait until he's all 'milk drunk' and sleepy and then quietly pop him in it for all sleeps from evening and overnight.
Picture attached of sleeping bubba (DH says he looks like a slug in it) and an up to date awake picture. Loving the other cute photos.

Congratulations Anna, may have just shed a little tear of happiness for you and your mum, what a lovely thought that she was there with you x

Now I just need to manage to get myself dressed before 11am...

Anna massive congratulations! That's lovely news.

becks I'm mega jealous! Enjoy your day of feeling well rested.

I'm a bit better sleep wise this morning, however from 1-4 was party time in our house with a wee boy who would not sleep! I rocked him from 2 for 45 minutes then followed through on chucking him in the car and driving around town. Turns out there's not much happens in our town at night! He slept in the car but guess what happened when we got home? Yep, wide awake! He mostly lay in his Moses basket with his eyes wide open but he was quiet so I turned over and went to sleep.
Thankfully, he dropped off again half 6 so I went and slept with him then too so got a good couple of hours at least!
Hope everyone has a nice day with loads of squishy cuddles!

I'm jealous of your night feed timetables! Over the weekend Annie was feeding 11.30/2.30/5.30 but has regressed to 9.30/12.30+hourly from that point and up at 5am

Dats can't believe your little one is still nameless! How old now?

anna delighted for you, hope everything went smoothly and you and little GIRLY are recovering well did you not know what you were having?

As for the beautiful baby photos - keep em coming! They are toooooo cute

These two are my world!! Love them so much.

sooo cute!

Hallie is gorgeous!

This is one of my favourites of Adam. In most of my photos he's either asleep or pulling a face.

In other news........ We had our first smile today!! I'll admit to tears!

Indians Hallies beautiful. She looks like a little Fairy or Sprite.

Sock Adams a cutie. We had our first smiles in the last few days too. Mainly at DH!! I think he must have a funny face!!

I think I had a smile last night but is 4 weeks too early?

Sock I love that elephant blanket!!! (Obvs not as cute as the baby within )

Cheery not doing much in the day?! Is he kidding?!?!?!!!!

Anna huge congratulations on your baby girl. So glad you felt your mum with you.

dats sssshhhh, I don't want to hear that toddlers are hard work... I'd like to believe I'm doing the hardest (albeit also the cutest) bit right now!

socks how typical that he woke up once the car ride stopped! Still, at least you know not to bother in future!!

Anyone else regularly leaking through their breast pads? It's driving me nuts. I'm changing them every couple of hours and still I'm getting enormous wet patches on my t shirt - usually when I start feeding and the babyless boob pisses more milk than the breast pad can deal with. My nan told me she used to stick an entire terry cloth nappy in her bra, and I can see why...

Speaking of which, my nan is visiting for a couple of days and she is amazing. She had five kids and is a freaking pro at babies. Several times today she hypnotised Ruben into not crying with her armoury of silly songs, ninja baby moves, and general awesomeness. I have much to learn.

Blue your nan sounds great!! Can I borrow her? Call it a holiday to the south west!! Have you tried breast shells? It can collect the milk from the non feeding breast and you could save and use as a bottle of expressed milk??

Dats I only feel DD is hard work now that I've got Ben. I think every age and stage has its easy and hard/ good and bad bits. I'm just trying to enjoy every bit. They're only little for such a short time.

Hell to the yes blubell and I second becks's idea - if I use breast shells JUST during the evening cluster feed I collect around 75-100ml of milk which is all being frozen and saved for the magical 6 week milestone where dp will be shown the freezer, the bottle and the joy of night feeds :) (and me and my leaky boobs will have a GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP!!)

Photos and smiles are all gorgeous!! I think smiles arrive just at the point of 6 weeks of sleep deprivation catching up, it's natures way of saying "I'm so cute even though I'm a sleep thief" :D

primary - 4 weeks not too early at all for a smile. DD1 was 3 weeks for a proper smile, DD2, 5 weeks :) That is an AMAZING amount of leaky boob! Go breastshells! 100ml takes a good half hour for me with a pump!

bluebell - I rarely leak at all without a breastpad but I had a few weeks when milk was regulating where I just wrapped spare boob in a muslin, it was easier!

becks yes, that's what I meant, the realisation of how hard work the toddler can be as opposed to the newborn.

But Bluebell fear not, DD is tiring but generally ace - particularly the fact she sleeps 8-8 and still has a 1.5hr nap. And can feed herself. And newbs don't turn into toddlers overnight (although sometimes it seems like it!) so you don't notice it getting harder work

primary he's 19 days! Trust me, we're trying!

Dh wants me to go and get checked for PND because I'm either always crying or angry.

He's working from home today and still refused to take a turn with the baby last night because he was too tired. He's doing 3 days a week in a town about 2.5 hrs commute away and he's taking public transport so means a 5.30ish get up time and he's not back till 7.30.
So of course he's the priority here, his sleep matters more than anyone else's. He's king of the fucking world. But when I even dare to suggest this to him it's me that's in the wrong and I'm just depressed.

Can't help but wonder if he may (however misdirected or badly put) have a point. I do feel very low a lot of the time, I get annoyed with the baby when he wont settle. I can't say I'm enjoying him as much as I should and all I seem to do is complain.
I think all I need is to be well rested but with dickhead upstairs there's no chance of that happening.

Sock what a shit. Aside from whether you may or may not have pnd - his attitude to your new family makes it impossible to tell if you have or not. If I was in your position I would be crying and angry a lot of the time too with tiredness, frustration and - yep anger at what a bellend my 'partner' was! Until that is sorted it will be much harder to identify any additional struggles you might have. Would he listen to you telling him you need more help or is it all thrown back at you as you 'struggling with pnd'?

My dh has tried this line a couple of times and I've hit the roof - patronising wanker!

And I think it's totally normal to not enjoy this all of the time - I don't! I love Annie and I wouldn't change a thing but sometimes I get annoyed with her that I can't eat my dinner/have a shower/get dressed/make the bed etc etc. I feel guilty for feeling it but I still do.

There's too much pressure on new mums to enjoy every second whilst simultaneously having a spotless house, losing baby weight, having a quiet baby, following the advice of every nosey fucker that had a kid 20+ years ago

sock am so sorry that you're feeling that way. It's completely understandable that you're frustrated and annoyed, don't forget how much of a massive change you're having to get used to - difficult at the best of times, but sleep deprivation makes everything so much worse. Agree that your DH isn't being fair, but if you even slightly suspect PND yourself, talk to someone who can help you work out whether it is or not, you need support from somewhere, especially if you're not getting it from him. If you talk to your health visitor, they might be able to suggest a local group of mum's that you could meet up with? x

sock Sorry you're having a crap time of it. Like others have said, if you suspect PND, it doesn't hurt to see someone about it, even if it's just to reassure you that you're doing well and your feelings are valid.

We're second guessing DD's name here. Thought we'd sorted this issue, but apparently not.

Sock that's awful, what a dick!! DH hasn't done any night feeds but I'm sure if I asked him he would. I don't ask because he must be alert at work as he has a safety critical role. If he had a 2.5 hr commute on public transport I'd say he should be sharing some of the feeds. 05:30-19:30 sounds like a dream compared to the 24/7 work of parenthood!!

Don't feel guilty about not enjoying every minute of it. It's such hard work and a massive life change and you can't take any time off. With DD after 2 weeks me and DH both wanted someone to take her away! We were struggling so much! It does get easier I promise.

If you think you may have PND then please get help now.

If your DH really thinks it's PND then he should be even more supportive and doing his bit to help and make sure you get some rest. Maybe you could get the health visitor to visit and talk it through with both of you? I'm sure she would be telling him to get off his backside and help more X

sock completely sympathise my lovely. I was exactly the same the first time round. It's a huge life change, a huge shock and I had regular moments of 'what on earth was I thinking?' and 'I've ruined my life'. You feel like everything is out of control, that every other new mother is coping so why aren't you. You feel guilt for not being in the fuzzy bubble that others are experiencing (and hate them for it!!) and like nothing will ever feel normal again. I felt all of that and I HAD a very supportive partner. So what you're going through without any support must be horrific.

It could be PND, but in a way that's immaterial in terms of the solution because either way, your other half needs to man the fuck up. If you do go and talk to someone, which is never a bad idea, they will definitely discuss the importance of your support network - which is clearly currently lacking.

I don't know if I had PND. But this time round I promised myself if I felt that low again, I'd get help.

Things will get better in time, but meanwhile your partner needs a massive kick up the arse. If he thinks you being diagnosed with PND is going to let him off the hook in some way, he's going to be disappointed.

Do keep talking on here, you're not alone.
dats xxx