March 2016: the one where Indomitable gives birth...

[vroc81]

I hope I haven't duplicated a new March thread in my sleep deprived state.. Went to reply and found thread was full!..

I agree with suz there's not much point trying to put a routine in place at 5 weeks. I started trying with DD1 around 3 months but was completely unsuccessful and ended up stressing myself out. By about 5/6 months DD1 had a decentish routine in place I guess, though I was never strict with it. This time round with E I'm not even going to bother trying to get her into a daytime nap routine till she's a bit older.

Sorry to hear you've had a mini sleep regression me unfortunately you can expect sleep to probably get better then worse again! Dd1 was a decentish sleeper till 9 weeks old then it all went completely to pot so I wouldn't ever bank on anything!

suz we too we're up every 1-1.5 hours last night until 4am when he pood and cried for several hours! There was a 4 hour stretch 7.30-11.30, but a bit too early for me to fully take advantage and get 4 hours myself. I'm assuming the hourly feeding is growth spurt related.

I agree with the above re routine. We tended to follow the same pattern ie feed on waking, top and tail, off out etc, but with no set timings for anything.

nix sounds like you've had a really tough time

missi I'm pretty sure that'll be me crying when left alone with our 2 year old and the baby! I still don't know how I'm going to manage them both. I think strapping then in the buggy and going for long walks will be the way forward.

Hello, hope everyone is ok today.

I've been lurking but not posting as much as when I was bored out of my mind overdue. (Weird that!)

Huge sympathies for nixxxy, what an awful start to parenthood for you. You deserve a medal already. Hope the next 18-25 years is plain sailing!

DS2 has given me two nights in a row of waking 3 hourly. Which I'm very happy with! In fact, on a normal work night when I'd often get 6 hours sleep, with one brief feed (and straight back to sleep, Good Boy!) I'm tempted to call it "sleeping through" (so I can be that person who said "mine was sleeping through by 9 days old!"). However, I'm well aware this will all change in the next couple of weeks (if not tonight!).

Regarding routines, we've never had what you'd call a Routine with DS1. Of course, a loose one evolved, as Suz says, when mealtimes come in and bedtimes. He never napped properly so they were hit & miss but there came a time when we had to keep him awake after 3, and then after midday or he wouldn't sleep at night.

This time we'll have the school run and feeding DS1 so I imagine a routine will appear sooner with this one. (Although using the Glow app to log everything has been really handy to see when to expect a fussy time or some good sleeping times).

Huge respect to those of you with very little older siblings. I couldn't even entertain the idea of #2 before DS1 was 4.

I can't remember when we got a routine for ds either. I said 'got' because we didn't really make him have it I think it just happened. I would agree though with everyone that starting now is too early.

E has her own routine-Idom I'm the same, I've been making notes of feeding times and she does have the same pattern when I look at it but it never feels the same during the day. She feeds every 3 hours at night which I know is good but I just wish we could stretch for 4. By the time she has woken, fed,been burped and changed we have been awake about 45mins to 1hr and then it's two hours of sleep. I know to those of you cluster breast feeding I must sound like a total whinge

What an awful night last night,
Baby unsettled until 3:30.
I slept from 8pm-2:30am and then I woke and saw oh struggling, so I fed her and at 3:30 she finally drifted to sleep. Bad parent here though she would only sleep in her chair which rocks back and forth and I left her in their until 6:30 when she woke again.
Oh looks like a zombie today as we had planned to see my family. Feel so guilty I slept through the early part of the night, have told him to when we get in to get a few hours unbroken between 6-midnight so at least he gets some guaranteed sleep.
Dreading tonight ! She's been so good the last week. Please may I have my baby back tonight, please !
Hope everyone else is ok today

Sounds hard, Time :( hopefully it was a one off xx

It was hard but cant complain. Have tried to keep her awake today a bit after feeds today so she may be more sleepy tonight.
She's been very good other then one or two nights so cant complain

Hello, just wondering when your babies had their first growth spurt?
My ds is 18days old and has been sleeping overnight with a feed after 4 hours and again after 3 hours, but for the last two nights he has wanted to feed more and then been more windy than normal inbetween. He's also needing to feed from both beasts to be full and settle. If this is a growth spurt how long will it last??!

Also when babies feed from both breasts is it normal not to feed from the second one as long as the first one? At the next feed do you put baby back onto the last breast they fed from (the one they fed on for the lesser time) so that they can get the more calorific hind milk?

Hi new. Not sure about the growth spurt timings, I'm always slightly skeptical that all babies will grow a bit faster for a few days at the same age but books like 'wonder weeks' and other observational books do document it - I think someone said there are some good apps that tell you what's likely to happen which week. With changes in sleep, feeds etc I've always used the mantra 'it's just a phase' as good or bad, it always seems to pass - enjoy the good ones, don't sweat the bad ones!
And yes, if they've had R then L breast they would normally feed shorter on the L, and the next feed would be L then R. Here, DS2 tends to feed about 15-20mins from side 1 and if he wants will do 5-10 on side 2.

Sorry to hear what a dreadful time you've had nixxy, hope things calm down for you now.

time hope you have a better night.

I have been keeping up with the thread mostly during night feeds but am too sleepy to type anything the ! We had a (comparatively) great night with feeds every 2-3hours but sleep in the crib between each one! Whoop! FX for the same tonight...

Baby still only sleeping in chair tonight grr
She slept in carry cot during day so annoying
Worried about her spine but me and oh desperately need sleep

Morning all! I'd like to say I'd not been typing at night because I had been asleep but actually I'd just run out of energy!!

Nixxy hope you're feeling better, sounds like you have been having a pretty rough time of it.

Time hope she eventually went down and you had a better night.

We had a terrible day Friday, R didn't sleep Thursday night for more than about 30 minutes at a time and then all day Friday, every time I put her down I just about had time to wee, pump, throw a glass of water down me and she was awake again.. By Friday night I cried on DH, told him to take us to tesco to buy dinner because I couldn't bare the idea of him been any later home going on the way from work.. Thank god it was Friday and DH did most of that night so I could get a bit of sleep. The rest of the weekend hasn't been too dissimilar!

On a more positive note both a MW friend and a HV suggested that as she was already so used to bottles to try nipple shields as we had nothing to loose and they arrived from Amazon yesterday and she's already had a couple of feeds with them on.. So some success there if it continues. With them on does remind me of the fembots in Austin Powers though!!

Vroc- I hope your sleep improves soon.
Calais went down in her carry cot at midnight after a feed at 11. She then woke at 2am and went down at just after 3 back up at 5 for a feed. She took 1oz and soaked all her clothes in vomit then took a further 3oz. But after this would only go down in her swinging electric chair. She did go down from 6:15-9:00 though which was lovely for me as today I feel like a human being!

Time if it's a choice between no sleep at all and DD sleeping in the chair, I'd go with sleeping in the chair!

The lack of sleep is starting to get to me a bit. DS is good compared to many I know - last night he fed at 10.30pm, 2.15am and 5.40am. Feeding and settling him back down takes over an hour a time though and it means I don't ever really get a stretch of sleep longer than 90 minutes. This morning he went back to sleep about 7 and normally I'd then use that time to get showered and dressed and wash up his bottles etc. But this morning I was so shattered I went back to sleep as well and woke up when DS did again at 9am. I then felt guilty because he screamed every time I put him down so I could get ready - should have just done it when he was asleep! It took ages to get dressed and dry my hair and do my make up what with having to pick him up to stop him screaming every few minutes so we are only just ready to start the day now!

Me- don't feel bad about going back to sleep. It's completely understandable.
The chair is shaped like a car seat though so I worry about her spine and oxygen levels in it.
Trying to nap now but the little madam keeps making all these grunting noises then crying for 20 seconds in her sleep. Ffs! I need sleep to :(. Normally I sleep in spare room as oh can sleep through the noises and I can't but his not here today and I can't just leave her in a room on her own can I :(

Me. Can your husband do the earliest night feed meaning you get one decent stretch ?

I may of just shouted "shut up" to her to and feel so bad but for ffs she slept silently yesterday why today when oh is not here. She always sleeps silently in the day when his here

Also she can lie flat on me and sleep so it can't be reflux otherwise that would bother her to.
I can't keep doing this
Every time oh goes to work she plays up. It's getting terrible.
Perhaps 4 hours between 6:30-5:30 that she just cries for no reason.
She's been fed, changed, burped, cuddled.
I just want a nap please baby.

Thanks for the sympathies all, things at home are refreshingly 'normal' so it's nice to be here and not in the hospital. Even when the midwives come they give me a 1000 mile stare. I feel like I've been to war and back! Took the last of my antibiotics today - just waiting on referral letter for the boob.

DD is in a 3/4 hour feed cycle at the moment which is pretty good for a baby who's had a lot of change up in the last week or two. As I mentioned I've had to give up on BF which although upsetting I know is the right thing for me and her. She's taken to formula well and is well over her birth weight now so it's all smiles on that front.

Thinking I may invest in a sling - we have a local sling meet group around here that I might try and get to next week or whenever they're on again. Only problem is I'm not that keen on going with MIL (she's been great but she's ever so slightly grabby with DD and refused to give her back to DH the other day which is putting me right on edge...just what I need after everything else!) and I don't drive so I may have to public transport my way down there. Or see if my own parents can be around...

Time sorry to hear you're having a bad time. Rememberi t won't be forever!!

Thanks wooden,
She keeps waking up, crying and falling back to sleep. No chance I can ever nap during the day and I never see my oh because most weekends/evenings are spent taking turns sleeping.
"Sleep when the baby sleeps" yeah right.
Every day he goes to work I end up shouting, stressed, crying it's all getting to much to he honest.
What makes me more mad is people at work and oh family think I should do every single night waking/settling because oh has to work and it's unfair. Wtf do I do every day then!?
So unfair.
Someone at work put a photo of him having fallen asleep at lunch at work and everyone commented on it.
I got upset and commented " I guess my job js 24/7 then and his is 8-5"
Such a joke.
She keeps waking taking 30ml and falling asleep because she's so tired but won't sleep than in bouncer! She can't be in that all the time though because of her spine

Time if it makes you feel any better I never sleep in the day either. Ever! And DH is always saying he's shattered/falling asleep on the chair even though Nancy is fully breastfed

Time same here.. OH does have her in the evening but hands her over like a baton relay at 1am and toddles off to the spare room with a 'well I'm at work and your at home' so if she does what she has been doing I don't sleep at night and I don't get to sleep during the day because just as I put my head down she wakes up.. No helpful advice but wanted to let you know you weren't the only one..

Beaut- hats off to you girl and you've got four. Your doing amazing and have so much strength, my oh is great, really great, but works comments anger me about how I should look after baby every night all night on my own Sunday night to Thursday night.
I guess they don't understand how having a baby is a job as well.

We forumula feed and oh done the 2am feed last night and I done the rest so to breast feed to your doing so well.
Does your dh ever take over when he can/Nancy doesn't need a feed so you can get a break?
I don't know how people do this newborn stage more than once. C is eight weeks tomorrow but still very much like a newborn being born five weeks early.
Bless her, the problem when she's unsettled is she takes 30mls falls asleep on me as she's exhausted so I transfer her she wakes up then and realises she's still hungry so this goes on and on until She's actually full and goes back down.
She's been in the carry cot for 30 minutes now asleep but very noisy so I can't sleep.

Oh has Thursday of this week yay for her jabs and he only works until 1pm Friday.

Just feel like I'm wasting all this time I should be enjoying my little girl being miserable. It's so hard. I want to enjoy her not dread it every day and count down the hours till oh comes home

Thanks vroc nice to know I'm not alone.
Oh is great but it's other people saying I should do everything that annoys me.

It's so unfair. Two people decided to have the baby not one so why should the person staying at home do everything.

Haha aww thank you Time. Trust me when I had my first baby I used to clock watch. It was relentless and boring and I was clueless. At least with four I'm kept busy and now I have three people to talk to (although they're 3, 4 and 7 so conversation can be limited!).

DH has actually surprised me this time and spends as much time as he can cuddling/playing with Nancy. It's paid off though as she clearly recognises and loves spending time with him.

Honestly Time you have 18+ years to enjoy her! Don't panic. Some ages will be bloody hard work and some will be a pleasure. Personally I love newborns and 12-30 months but dislike 3-5 years lol

Back to school tomorrow yay!