November 2014 - The one where they outrun us!

[MrsAukerman]

New thread ladies.

Evening all . Another one here with a poorly DC (but I'm crossing my fingers that we may just be coming out the other side of it). Started last Tuesday and since then she's regularly had a temp of 38+, hitting 39.6 a few times. Have been giving her Calpol etc as she's also been really miserable and sometimes totally lethargic (she feel asleep standing up against the sand box at nursery ). Also been off food and nights have been "interesting" with regular doses of calpol / neurofen.... Have also had to collect her early from nursery everyday she's been there since last Tuesday.

Took her to the docs today: virus.... Got home and she vomited all over me (I was trying to catch it in one hand before it hit the carpet....). She did eat something for dinner tonight, so really hope she's over the worst of it as temp hasn't been above 37.5 today.

Anyway, on a brighter note, can't remember who else said their DC was "eating" stones, but SNAP! Last weekend I was digging over the veg bed and DD was standing watching me and then I twigged that something was up, so said "What have you got in your mouth baby haven't?" Got a cheeky look back in response and when I went over to her she opened her mouth to proudly produce a pebble!!! She knows EXACTLY what's she's doing!

Re holidays, we've got a week off beginning of June to see in-laws and a week in September in self-catering place in Cornwall. Nothing else booked yet.

Oh poor babyhaven't!

We have a week in Cromer at the end of June and we're planning a minibreak in August, somewhere we can go on the eurostar to save the hassle of airports (and dd loves trains). Would we be mad to go to Brussels now?

I'm up for a more exotic trip but DP is generally anxious about the unknown so way out of his comfort zone. I have some savings of my own that I might use to go to asia with her and one of my friends next year. But we might need the savings for mat leave for number 2. Last time we saved a lot of money to cover me not working for 9 months but it will be harder to do this time. What did you all do? And what will you do for next time?

ladydolly re finances: last time also saved up hard to cover my 12 months, but was also really fortunate to have a generous mat leave policy at work which meant I was on full pay for about 4 months, half pay for 4 months, then nothing ( I think...).

There won't be a "next time" (and I'm not 100% sure how I feel about that tbh).

We arent saving up, really. We live in a cheap house in a cheap seaside location so we dont have the financial stresses of someone who lives in say, London. We never ever take out loans and cut up the credit card years ago. We get free doctors visits too so no medical expenses.

We also live very cheaply, we shop only in Aldi, dont have hobbies that cost anything and dont really go on holiday. Maybe we're just old farts, lol. We're one step away from buying a camper van!

We're using savings for a years worth of nursery starting in July but it'll clean us out and we wont be able to keep him in for any longer than 1 year. But since we have no family and have another coming, its an expense we know we need. But that'll probably be the end of childcare, hey ho. It'll have served its purpose and gotten me through newborn madness.

I've also realised I have zero to buy for the next one, so its going to be cheap as chips. We're not even bothering with a double buggy as they're exorbitant, we'll be trying the Sling & Single Buggy combo as we have both already. I havent bought so much as a sleepsuit for the next one! All DSs stuff has barely touched the attic floor!

So all we need is money for food, bills and petrol. We'll manage.

We assumed we'd tail off the holidays when DD came along but we've had a lot. Partly because both sets of parents want a family holiday with us, so that's two weeks right there. We have a week in Devon in July with DH's family, and then a week on the Isle of Wight in August (with my extended family so loads of babysitters and other little cousins for DD to play with / stare at).
We're off to Vancouver on Sunday actually which is going to be brilliant once the flight is done!! I have the biggest box of distracting toys and books to take. She's recently discovered stickers and last time I gave her a sheet I got an hour of complete peace and quiet!! Yes stickers all over the bedroom floor and our bed but it was totally worth it!

We do really need to cut down our expenditure when we get back though. We're managing, but barely saving anything; and our income includes money from our lodger who in theory could up sticks any time (though I don't think she will). But anyway we really should be saving her rent in full every month and living within our own salaries. In theory we do - they more than cover all our bills etc - but it just seems that with DD the 'extra' costs seem to come every month, not a few times a year. I'm just glad they aren't growing quite as fast now and we get 6-9m out of most of her clothes now.
Shoes though!!! I got her fitted a few weeks ago with a particular brand for some new trainer type shoes, but didn't buy because they were £40; found them on ebay for £20 brand new this week, but they've arrived and she's much closer to the ends than she was in the shop! So they won't last us very long after all. Oh well.

I think our problem is we live in an expensive area so have an expensive mortgage and I earn more than DP so me not working makes a big impact. I'm a saver but DP is a spender so I pretty much bossed him into the saving for mat leave (and house deposit at the same time). It's proving harder to boss him into it this time because although we live fairly inexpensively (also dedicated to Aldi!), don't have any credit cards or loans and buy all of DD's stuff 2nd hand the childcare costs are over £900 a month, which doesn't leave as much for saving. This is why we'll wait until next year to try, otherwise I'd be paying for 2 in childcare when I got back to work, until DD gets the 15 free hours. It would still be worth going back but logistically and financially really difficult.

So I guess the answer here is that I need to get bossy on DP (and maybe move to the seaside with anna).

Since moving house the nursery fees have made a shocking difference to our finances, so Anna smart of you to be saving ahead for that. When the girls were at a CM they went for a shorter day and we didn't pay for any holiday days or the CM's sick days - it was a pretty flexible arrangement on both sides - so it was really much less expensive. But despite the expense, nursery is great. I'm sure your DS will love it there. I love seeing how happy DD2 is when she goes in now, and goes over to join the reading session with a big grin on her face. It took her a while to settle down there (she had a few little health issues which were holding her back a bit) but she's loving it now. (DD1 loved it right from Day 1 but she is Ms Independent to a certain extent.)

We're hoping we'll see a bit of difference in our funds from September when DD1 starts school, we'll bloody well need a bit of respite by then though because her 15 free hours don't apply over the summer (not sure how it is in the UK), so it will be even more expensive for a few months. We have a new minister for children's affairs here who seems willing to do something about the exorbitant childcare costs for parents, but you know how it is, any measures introduced always take ages to come into effect and trickle down.

The new house will hoover up all of our spare cash for the foreseeable. We were hoping to take the girls to the UK or Europe this summer but it's just not going to happen unless we can squeeze something in closer to the end of the year. I'm OK with that really because the girls have such fun at their grandparents' houses, especially when the other cousins and relatives are around. We were there for a gorgeous sunny couple of days last weekend, and honestly, when the sun shines, it's nothing short of a paradise for kids here - close to beaches, nature etc - and you wonder why you'd bother going anywhere on holiday. Sadly the sun doesn't shine an awful lot

Sounds lovely Half!
I've just remembered that we've used up all the lump of childcare vouchers saved from when I was on mat leave, so we now only have each month's vouchers to contribute. Oh well it was nice while it lasted! That's always my top tip to pregnant ladies - register for getting childcare vouchers as soon as the baby's here! (Cos they have to keep paying it to you for free when you are on SMP)

Meant to say to haven't, how's your DD today? Sounds like a nasty virus, poor thing. For the last few days DD2 has had an intermittent low grade fever that seems to be not affecting her in the slightest. Weird! She's really cheerful, eating and sleeping well, and in good form, just a bit hot. Now that I've said that, today will be the day she is miserable with it

I do think the fact that DH is a Super Saver type has really made a difference. He's always thinking 10 yrs ahead financially. We have loads of investments and accounts that give dividends etc. After we get this next year of childcare out of the way, the goal is to start pension plans and a university fund. I'm not even joking! So we really are old farts.

But actually that helps too - we are in our 40s and had 20 years of adventuring and clubbing and being degenerates behind us by the time we became parents. So we are quite happy now to settle in to a nice comfy quiet rut. It's also a lot cheaper that's for sure!

I sometimes feel really guilty about how little DS interacts with other children i.e. never. No cousins around. Yesterday we were in the playground and a boisterous family came in and the delight and joy on his face just to see other kids! But of course they ignored him as they were playing with each other. He didn't realise thankfully, just ran around after them roaring with laughter even though they were paying him no heed. I felt kinda shitty actually as he's clearly craving that contact. So am relieved about nursery just for that reason. Poor boy needs friends!

anna I am just like your DH! We have pensions and I run a pretty tight budget spreadsheet (with yearly forecast). Dp had never not been in debt let alone had savings until he met me! We both have our own ‘pocket money’ accounts, I manage to save every month and he always runs out. That just about sums us up! I am also an old fart. Right down to wanting the camper van. DP has a little more life in him so my hobby is my allotment and his is football and the occasional boozy weekend away – both of which far more expensive than my allotment – which pays for itself at harvest time. I haven’t started a uni fund for DD, and it worries me. I’m kind of hoping that her grandparents (and great grandparents) might chip in/leave her some money.

Good point about the summer fees halfstar. I already worry about summer childcare when DD gets to school age, I’d love it if her CM had her but image they will be full.

We are just usimng up last of childcare vouchers saved over mat leave our childcare is about £1000/mth before having both we saved for mat leave and while pregnant with ds2 I worked 4 datys a week and also did a night a week for a lot of pregnancy and some babysitting which meant I could take 11mths off (I did get more than stat mat pay as well) we have zilch saving now due to ds2 being poor sleeper and my plans to get back to babysitting at 2/3mths and nights 6mths have never happened.

He is 18mths tomorrow and is actually sleeping a lot better so I may start putting the feelers out for some babysitting and poss nights to get a saving pot back together.

Thanks for asking HalfStar - she's LOADS better today - it's amazing how quickly they bounce back! I was on tender hooks all day half expecting a call from nursery, but none came. When I picked her up they said she's been like a different child: had 2 very good naps; eaten all her food; and quite chipper and chirpy all day - yippeee!

PS, don't think there's anything wrong in being a "boring old fart" when it comes to finances....

haven't really pleased your dd is better. Must be massive relief.
As predicted dd2 is now miserable with this virus. Raging temp for 24hrs now.

OK this is hilarious to me.

DS has started doing this "Strong Man" stuff.

He's obsessed with lifting things up and giving them to us, but it's the noises he makes as he lifts them!

"NUUURRRRRGGHHH!"

"GUUUUUUUHHHHH!"

"UUUUUURRRRRRFFFFF!"

Even if he's lifting up something tiny like a wee metal car!

It absolutely cracks us up - he goes all red faced and slooooowly raises it from the ground as if he's The Incredible Hulk lifting up a burning car!

Sorry to hear about poorly babies If DD keeps up with the pattern we are due for a couple of days of high fever and virus soon...

I am lucky to have a family friendly employer - first 6 months on full salary. Didn't save for the maternity leave, but more for all the things for DD. I still have worth of 2 months salary squirreled away for a rainy day from maternity leave. My main expense before DD arrived seem to be traveling. Not that we don't do it so much, seems that I have money left even after nursery and DD expenses. Odd, right?

We have booked bank holiday weekend in Norfolk and me and DD are going to visit my family in July. Also got plans to have a week or two in southern Europe in September time.

DH has been talking about setting up some sort of fund for DD. I have been paying towards private pension in two other countries all this time. Not a massive amount, it wouldn't change my retirement too much, but I thought I would pay them off and then give the lump sum to DD for university or deposit for starting off whatever she wants to.

Congratulations Anna! I do single buggy and sling most of the time, I picked up a double buggy for £45 from the nct sale but it's like a bloody bus, I only use it when dh comes out too as he's on buggy duty.

Sorry to hear about all the poorly babies, hope they're perking up.

DD hasn't got any friends either, I packed in baby groups when I was pregnant with DS and never bothered when we moved house. Tried taking them both to a toddler group once but it was hellish trying to stop DD going through people's bags while carrying DS. We've got our first play date next week and I'm really nervous- I don't really know the mum that well and although her boy is older than DD he isn't walking and she hasn't had to babyproof much as he isn't fussed about grabbing things. We've had to move all decorations, clear windowsills, switch tv units and dd still manages to wreck the living room daily. Should be interesting.

Just started weaning DS. DD likes to pass him her leftovers and try and spoon feed him.

Oh anna that's hilarious! You have a little actor/comedian on your hands there!!

I'm just wondering how many times in a day you can hear 'no, mine!' in one day. At one point we were in the living room and she was surrounded by all her toys with no one anyone near her - 'yes babydolly, every one of these pieces of wood and plastic are yours and no one is even attempting to taken them from you so chill out!' she was actually shouting it from her buggy in town, what she thought was hers I have no idea.

Hi all! Back from our lovely holiday in Dorset. Got off to a bit of a bumpy start when dh came down with the bug that ds and I had, so I drove (longest I've ever driven, very proud of myself) with ds and he followed. Had some lovely days out, and a couple of dates with parents babysitting. It's so nice to have 3 extra people playing with ds, and he loved it, properly back to his usual cheery self. Not sure dh wants to do it again as my parents are a bit flappy and anxious over everything, which is tense, but I loved the break.
Re saving; we have a bit stashed away in savings accounts, but all are low interest and the money isn't really working for us. We're in the process of setting up pensions and put a wee bit of money aside for ds each month that'll he'll have access to when he's 18. I was thinking about seeing a financial advisor to get a better sense of how to manage money.

Came back from holiday thinking I'd like to keep chickens... Is that a barmy idea??

All 4 canine teeth cutting at once not fun!

Seconded east

Dd still miserable after this virus, temp gone but form shocking. How long did it take your dd to come around havent?

Lovely pics annatha

Great to get a break posmorck!

Well, Half, the virus took about 10 days from beginning to end, but immediately after the virus did one, she came down with a cold and is now full of snot (once again) and has this horrid cough (that meant I was up at 10pm, 11.50pm, 1am, 3.20am....last night...).

Don't know if it's complete coincidence, or as a result of the virus and cold, but she's suddenly seemed have become this right little monkey overnight : as of yesterday, as soon as she doesn't get her way at any meal time (usually me not giving her food that's so hot it will burn her mouth) all hell is let loose and she really turns on the waterworks. Then, as soon as she's decided she's had enough / doesn't like something, the whole plate is thrown on the floor. Today, when I bent down to pick it up, she grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled it really hard! What's this all about?! She's suddenly into pinching and grabbing DH and I as well . What have we done for her to think this is OK? Has anyone else come across this and if so, what do you do?

Oh haven't we have been doing that last couple weeks death screaming style strops and yep hair pulling when I bend down to clean up the food nothing sure to piss menoff more than hair pulling after being ragged at for food, ragged at for not letting him have it as will burn Hus face off then ragged at coz actually he has had enough or didn't want it.

eastmids what do you do about it? How do you go about teaching them it's not acceptable whilst being secretly pleased it's not just my DC doing this

Oh the hair pulling. Dd also likes to scratch me and dig her nails in. Today she was really grumpy and tries to bite me too. I've been using the sign for hurt (which I know she understands) then asking for 'kind hands' and stroking.... before quickly distracting her. Dinner is another matter and we get through it as quickly as possible before the meal is launched when she tires of it. It doesn't seem to matter if its something she likes or she's hungry. It gets launched anyway. I ready recently about the 'gravity schema' and its a learning stage. If it is that apparently playing games that test that before dinner can help (knocking down towers of bricks, dropping balls etc) but we only have time to get dinner together asap before she loses her rag trying to get in the fridge.