November 2014 - The one where they outrun us!

[MrsAukerman]

New thread ladies.

We get charged £55 for extended day and the monthly charge is based on 51 weeks, so get a bill of around £1100 every month bcs she is full time there. The monthly charge would be lower if we would nursery only few days a week or shorter days (school day or half day). We both get childcare vouchers from employers, that's a plus. If I ever decide to go for Nr2 DD will go there even during maternity leave but probably on shorter days to give me some breathing space after sleepless nights etc.
Nursery prices are quite scandalous, when you think that a person on minimum wage wouldn't be able return to work without family assistance.

Basically they told me its because of staff quotas. I'm not sure what the ratio is but basically they dont allow part time cos they have a fixed number of kids they want to have every day that suits their staffing levels.

So if they have 2 workers in the toddler room at all time, then they want to have X kids in there every day (or at least paid for every day) that justifies the payroll cost.

I suspect all creches would be similar tbh. My SILs have to pay all year round whether you're there or not as well.

A friend of mine has hers in a creche in a really rural area and still pays €160 a week!

Argh, that's just so rigid and unwilling to plan the shifts to adapt. Obviously if they would have let parents to choose half/part time, they would know when they need more people and when less. Instead of having x people being there full time they could have employed more people on flexible work patterns giving certain groups of people opportunity of employment.

We pay £46 a day for a 10hr day ours offer a 7,8,9,10,11hr day or morning/afternoon you have to have a set time and agreed days it inc nappies and full organic menu even get Ds his special foods for dairy intolerance.

Ds1 old nursery was £45 a day set 7.30-6 and childminder was £33 day for 7.30-5 or 8-6 both inc food but not nappies.

Unfortunately childminder was full for ds2 as would have done miux as with ds1 and all other childminders were not to my liking one was OK but £40 a day and needed to be great to be almost as much as nursery and factor inconvenience of covering holidays and sickness etc.

Ds1 being in scholywhen ds2 arrived was great although ds2 never had real routine as sleep was on school runs and we couldn't do afternoon baby groups but was nice to have some time on own with him.

Could you try a childminder? Or is that not what you want? We pay ours £245 a week for 7.30 til 5, 5 days a week. Not too bad but still close to £1000 a month. I was telling my beauty therapist this week and she was totally shocked, she said it wasn't worth going back to work, which I guess on a therapist salary it isn't. it's hard isn't it? Now we're thinking of waiting til next year for trying for dc2 I'm planning on keeping dd in there full time until she turns 3 then putting her into nursery for the free 15 hours and she'll be home with me and a new baby (hopefully!) the rest of the time. My parents will have retired by then so they can help me with her some days. Then when she starts school I'll be back at work and DC2 can go to a childminder. Best laid plans but should mean we only ever have one with childcare costs!

Well childminder was the initial plan until we found out rates from friends, did the sums, and realised it was much the same!

And all things being equal, the creche would be nearer than any childminder and he'd enjoy all the games in the creche.

Tough one Anna and I sympathise on the extortionate crèche prices. We are being bled dry here with two, even with dd1's 15 free hours , because of the same kind of inflexibility.

I'm definitely a big fan of childminders when they are little, I like the sense of family routine and the quieter pace. Nursery can seem quite manic in comparison.

HOWEVER. I would imagine that you and your DH have looked at all the options and sometimes it really is a case of going with the option that will be most helpful to your sanity and/or most straightforward, even if that's the spendy option. You are in a position where you don't really have family support, you're pregnant and your work isn't full-time fixed hours (do I have that right?) so if the crèche is 5minutes from your house that's a big plus. There may be times ahead where you or dh might need to work more hours or when you're getting very big and exhausted and having that kind of flexibility (ie sending in ds whenever you want for however long you want) can be a great help.

So, long story short, go with whatever you feel will suit you best right now and remember that no childcare arrangement has to be forever. It's just what works for a particular time in your life. You don't have to justify the price or the decision to anyone.

I am hoping that we'll really notice the extra money once both of ours are at school but somehow I doubt it!

X-post!

Agree with Halfstar. But naughty thought, but once your DS is settled in and happy there and you will realise the freedom it gives to, you might end up sending him in for most of the days anyway. My employer last few years have been running half day Fridays policy in summer months bcs there isn't much going on with so many people off. Before I was saying DD would be in nursery for 4 days in summer, but now I think I would still send her in for shorter day and have that time for myself/ running errands. bad mummy

Half hopefully you will notice the money - our next door neighbours had their 2 kids start at school September 2013 and 2014 and since then there has been a new bigger car, first foreign holiday since the kids arrived, a loft conversion, redecorating the whole house and a garden renovation :-D

Yeah halfstar I went back to Agency when DS was born.

Truth be told I'm really glad now the decision is made. Feels like a weight off. Could be because DS has really discovered his willfullness at the moment! I'm knackered with him!

Next door spend about €16000 a year for their two! She said to me "we just never ever talk about it - it upsets us too much".

Sorry, belatedly joining the nursery fee discussion....we pay £51.60 per day and she could be there from 8-6 for that price (in fact she's there from 8-5). That includes all meals, nappies etc It's a 1:3 ratio and there are a maximum of 15 children in the Baby room. So far, we're really pleased with our choice - she seems to have settled in really well and lately has taken to stretching out her arms / leaning to go to the nursery worker when I drop her off in the morning and is no longer bombing it across the room when she sees me in the evening...

£36 per day (9hrs) here including food and cow milk but excluding nappies but we use cloth in the day anyway. She cooks from scratch and accommodates DS being a veggie, another boy being CMPI and a vegan girl too so she has her work cut out. It's a childminder but she employs her husband as an assistant so can have more kids at certain times if need be. £50+ per day seems steep but I live in quite a cheap area.

Mrsa childminders here are £32-42 a day and nursery £40-50 a day.

Our after school childminder is £13 a day for 3-5.30 and includes hot dinner. Our school holiday club is £12.50/day for one and £20/day for the other both 8-5 and you send food etc.

We have 2 molars broken through and the 2 bottom ones about to break through no fun

Ds1 had a swimming party 5-7 so dh took him n I had ds2 in bed for 6pm!!

Had an hr of peace :)

In all honesty since returning back to work my favourite time of the day are train rides. It's the time I can sit down and read a book in peace.

We must be the most geriatric couple in the world. Last night we were both falling asleep during in the night Garden. Only DS was alert!

He's always had a 7 pm bedtime but lately we bring him up but he giggles in the dark for 30 mins, whilst we sit there. (If we left the room he'd go wide awake and alarmed)

So we're starting to think we should move his bedtime half an hour later? Or introduce a story upstairs?

Those of you who do stories, how does it go? Do you do it downstairs? Or if you do it upstairs, do you read them the story in the cot or in a chair?

We were going to wait till he's in his big boy bed as a) he won't rip the book to bits and b) we can lie in beside him reading it. We also suspect that a story would just really stimulate him at this point cos he'd think it was playtime. But I am curious as to how it could be done.

Also interested in the bedtime story technicalities. So far whenever I've tried to pin her down next to me with a book. She first tries to yank the book out of my hands and if that doesn't work, she just crawls all across the bed so that I have to rush over to her to avoid another trip to a&e.
But I have to admit that DD isn't "the peaceful bum", unless she is unwell she is always on move. I was thinking to leave the stories until we can make a deal that there will be a story but she needs to sit down. Atm she has cardboard books all over the house and she like going through them.

Anna on Sunday evening I actually went to bed before DD and left DH deal with her. , but no such luck as 7pm bedtime here, it's more around 8-8.30pm.

anna I am most definitely in the falling asleep after dinner camp. If often fall asleep while feeding dd. I put it down to the bf hormones!

We used to try and read a book but dd just goes mad. Like yours strawberry she is always on the go. She doesn't stop moving. We give her a bottle and put her in the cot and she wriggles and chats to herself until she falls asleep.

Could you try that sleepy book? www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B014STUEKO/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Now, I think I've asked this before but I'm sure it can't be right. DD is still having so much milk. Yesterday she had a bf in the morning for at least 10 mins. The 6oz soya milk during the day. Long breastfeed at about 5pm. 3oz at bedtime at 7pm followed by another 10 min breastfeed. Another 5oz at midnight. Another 5oz at 5am (which she necked in about a minute) followed by more breastmilk. That's 20oz even without the breasfeeds! Although arguably the 5am feed was her breakfast, that's still 15oz plus breastmilk though?

ladydolly same here, lots of milk consumed and she is not somebody you can trick with cuddles or shushing when she asks for milk. She has been going through 25oz of milk most of nights, while on some she even went for add 5oz. In the nursery they say she clears most of the food put in front of her and I don't have any reason not to believe bcs what comes out of other end is solid although yellowish. Last 4 days she had been with fever so refused food and cut down on milk as well. It's so chaotic it's difficult to work out how much milk to prepare. We got some ready made milks upstairs for those sudden hungry days, says panic run to the kitchen to prepare new one while DD screams the house down.

Dd2 has been interested in books for quite a while. Of course she still tries to grab and tear (why pop-up books are aimed at babies and toddlers I'll never understand-- they are red rag to the bull!) but now likes the routine of the familiar story.
We do stories on the couch with both dc. I used to breastfeed dd2 then read her a book. Now she has a bottle I read it to her while she has that. Keeps her quiet. Then if she's still awake enough she gets another v quick story (always the same one) in her room as part of her routine.
I'd recommend Peepo, One Ted Fell out of Bed, or anything that ends in going to bed!

I get so drowsy too around the kids' bedtime. Used to think it was the boob feed but I still get it while giving dd her bottle! I think it's just very relaxing listening to a baby contentedly drinking milk.

Erratic nights continue here. She's doing crap naps which mean she's overtired and waking up for long periods at night, then sleeping in the next morning, then another crap nap, then conking for up to 13 hours straight that night (that part is great!) then back to waking the next night. I don't know what to do when she wakes, nothing works. Last night she was so cross and kept gesturing towards the chair where I used to bf her and where I've occAsionally administered a bottle - she was clearly saying 'malk!'
Didn't give her any as we're trying so hard to night wean but maybe we just should as it sometimes gets her back to sleep. I dunno.dont want to undo all of our good work by getting her to expect a night feed. But a night feed beats crying for 2.5 hours, right?

Gah.

In contrast our lad has taken nothing in daytime since 12 months. We switched to beakers for daytime and he promptly lost interest. Too much effort. He's a water monster though and will drink that out of the beaker non stop.

We stopped night feeds the instant he started sleeping through and never restarted, even with sleep regressions since. We just sit there holding his hand for two hours on bad nights. Maybe it would've been easier with bottles but we'll never know. And tbh I selfishly didn't want to have to be making bottles in the.middle of the night anymore!

He's slept through for last week though so we're going through a good streak.( Despite him waking at 5.45 this morning but you can't have everything! )

Book logistics here is one short story like Goodnight Moon on the bed in his room with lamp on then lamp off, into cot, long story by the light of Ewan. Sometimes the magic rabbit book, sometimes an Enid Blyton story or Paddington. DH seems to get a good success rate whereas I get more crying and sometimes have to lie on the bed with him to get him to sleep. Quick bf before first story then sippy cup with a valve full of cow milk.

MrsA how do you see to read in the light of Evan? I was trying to read with Evan and night light on and was like a blind chicken looking for grain

Anna we've always read DD a story since we started a bedtime routine with the sleeping technique when she was about 5 months. Here's what we do: dinner; play; bath; get dressed in sleep suit and sleeping bag; story time (upstairs in her room) - one of us sits in the rocking chair with dd (and her cuddly rabbit) on our lap whilst the other one sits on the foot stool and reads the book so she can see the pages / pictures. We've got a lamp that has 3 different levels of brightness so we use the middle one to read. Then once we've read (for about 5 mins), we put her into her cot bed and turn out the lamp. From going into the bath at 6.20, to being put into bed takes about 40 mins - we're usually back downstairs at 7pm.

She absolutely LOVES books, especially "Meg & Mog" (have used a lot of sellotape on the pages...) and any book that has touch and feel surfaces (1st Gruffalo book / any of the "That's not my XXX" books) - we also do a weekly visit to our local library