Just Mumming 8 - the one with the fire crawlers, wind machines and the Health Visitor revolt

[WilHarlot]

Add your stats Viroids (or don't bother). I feel like there's something I'm supposed to write here but don't know what it is...

Ooh yes wind is another thing - they pull away from boob and scream. B does that a lot.

Zyla hugs. That's rotten and unfair of him. You're obviously upset over cat and yes of course it's his responsibility too to make sure he has what she needs and looks after her. Se problem here - dh would never think to check if he's got blanket or to check his temperature and dress accordingly. I've come to conclusion that men just don't have this common sense when it comes to babies. Take deep breath and have a cup of tea while they're away.

Hopefully he'll realise how unreasonable he's being and apologise

He came back to apologise because H had gone to sleep. So I told him shed wake up if he stopped walking and to fuck off back out with her because she needs a proper sleep. Haha

Snap I've no idea but your wee one sounds like he needs someone who knows what they're talking about. I presume it would take a whe on nhs so don't know if private is an option?

He was checked for a tongue tie. I'm not convinced about my latch at all.
Yes I think he has wind a lot. We get high pitched cries as soon as I latch him on. I'm not sure how to stop this though other than give him infacol.
I will ask them to look at my latch tomorrow. He was latching fine in hospital but I could have got something wrong.

Thanks for all the support, it's appreciated.

Zyla, hope you get MrZ sorted. Men are idiots at times

snap do you have a children's a & e department near you? It might be worth going as you will be seen by a paediatrician (this was the advice my GP gave me for S's jaundice).

Sorry you are having a rubbish time zyla if it's any consolation my DH has no idea at all. I even have to tell him which babygro to put on him out of 6 identical ones.

We have come to my MIL's for the weekend and I have to pack everything. He sighs and huffs at packing his own clothes. He can only think for himself and will sort himself out before thinking about anyone else. It's so frustrating.

Have you got antibiotics popz?

Purple are you winding him? I have to wind B regularly as he's v windy. If yours is screaming lots then he'll be taking in tonnes of wind when screaming. If he is screaming at breast and arching away or bobbing on and off with high pitch squeal it is very likely wind.

Yeah I am winding him. He's just screamed at both sides, wouldn't latch either. I put a dummy in his mouth and he's gone back to sleep.
I can't figure him out
My boobs are firmer, think milk coming in maybe. I'm going to try expressing now

Did he wind? I found b needed to learn to do it so at first it didn't work v well. Also the fact that you've just said he went to sleep afterwards makes me think it's overtired fussiness not wind or hunger.

I posted about the same thing on Facebook a few weeks ago. B when he's tired will look hungry but when you try to feed him he will scream, pull away and fuss. If you put them down they are actually tired not hungry. It's very hard to tell difference until you've got used to your baby's cues and cries. I can tell now which is which.
You're doing great, no one would expect you to have worked him out already! You're still very new to each other and getting to know each other xxx

It sounds to me like overtired fussiness or wind

Just to say it bit clearer (and because it took me weeks to work this out so I hope it helps!) there are three reasons my baby pulls off and on, or fusses at the breast:

1 - he needs winding - he will arch back, might let out high pitch wimper and might latch then unlatch.

2 - fast letdown/flow - likely not what's happening to you as milk not in yet. Pulls off and on boob and fusses and chokes/splutters

3 - overtired. Shows hunger cues eg chomping on hand but also yawns, rubs war/pulls face or kicks legs which are tired cues. If I try to put him to feed he'll get angry, scream and kick. He's overtired. If I then rock him a bit and put him down he will likely fall asleep.

War = ear! Rubs ear

Thanks la we've got a mix of 1 and 3

Just sterilising breast pump. Will see if I can get anything out.
I've got a list of things to ask the midwife about tomorrow

This is the hardest thing ever and I don't want to fuck it up

All good advice purple. Also - is his nose blocked? MiniP was a fussy latcher because his nose was full of birth goop for ages. It's very early days, please try not to worry. You're both learning You'll get there.

Yes, got antibiotics after 2 hours in the walk in centre. Feel like death. Got a wedding tomorrow and Mr P is being an ass. He insisted on dragging us up to his mum's caravan last night even though I said there wasn't really any point for one day, esp with all the baby stuff. Specifically told him about fifty times we had to leave no later than 5 to be home no later than 7 (mini's bedtime) - so I could get a good nights sleep for tomorrow. We left at 7. Mini is asleep in the car and will wake up when we get home so bedtime is fucked. I'll be up hours settling him now. And he's sleeping like a newborn at the mo - waking every 90mins. But of course MrP doesn't have to deal with any of that so why should he care!? Twunt.

Totally get you zy - MrP is exactly the same. I'm fucking sick of it tbh. The other day he gave him some raspberries for his breakfast - WITH NO BIB ON - when I'd just dressed him ready to leave the house. Wanker.

You won't Fuck it up purple. Honestly. Grad grad's mantra: IT GETS EASIER, HONEST!

Purple honestly you get there! It's hardest thing ever at the start but (and I never believed this when folk told me!) it does get easier!!

Don't put oressure on yourself, there's enough pressure on new mums and you're doing great

Popz - jiffy needed? Why are they all so ridiculously immature!?!

See, the raspberry thing sounds like the sort of thing mrZ would do, thinks he's helping but it's stupid and no common sense! Think I'm going to have a chat and say im not coming on the holiday (going tomorrow morning and I haven't packed a thing yet..he's getting worried!) unless he actually THINKS about what H needs and what is sensible. I'm not bloody organising them both all holiday, I need a break too.

Otherwise he can take her and I'll have 2 weeks not having to organise anyone but me!

Thanks

Electric pump got a few drops of colostrum so milk definitely not happening yet. Stimulation should help supply though.

Don't know about his nose, he sneezes a bit so maybe.

Definite jiffy. I really just want to punch him in his stupid fat ugly face. I feel so tired and poorly I could cry. I've had no rest at all today. Mini is wide awake after his car nap which means he'll be up until at least 11 now. The exact scenario I wanted to avoid!! Wanted to do my nails etc tonight and now that's not going to happen. Eurgh.

Left doggypopz at the caravan with the in laws too so they can look after him while we're at the wedding. I'm so paranoid they're going to lose him!!

Aww I'm sure he'll be fine popz!! Hope the antibiotics start working soon!

purple you're doing so well keeping going with it all, hope it settles soon, he could just be learning what to do still

Zyla I so get your point about needing a break from the responsibility. I find the pressure of the decision making, planning, noticing and worrying completely exhausting. I count myself lucky that DP is very supportive and hands on but he works long hours and just isn't here enough to see the true extent of it. Saying that, he's taken over feeding duties for now as I'm finding it unbearably stressful - one advantage of ff is you can have a change of personnel.

Thanks for advice re paediatrician, Fleur, we'll see how we go tonight but may take up your suggestion if things don't settle down. Crazy that you have to go to those lengths to see a baby doctor.

Rpopz can you ask DP to do everything bar the feeding (changing, passing the baby to you, putting him down) so at least you can stay in bed through the night and get as much rest as possible?

Purple best thing to get supply going is skin to skin. I used to cuddle B with him wearing just a nappy until my milk arrived and he would suckle every hour ish.

Popz you sound so fed up - make sure you get some rest, your nails can be last min job tomorrow if needed.

Zyla - you need a holiday so if necessary just grin and bear him just now, and have the chat when you're a bit calmer

B is cluster feeding. I feel mean but I've just swaddled him and out dummy in, just so that I can get a rest and have my tea. Is that bad? I know he needs the milk which is why he's doing it, but I'm just shattered! I'll unzip him in a bit

We used that love to dream swaddle for a bit La - they look so funny in it!

That's what he's in now - although I've just caved and taken him out to let him keep feeding. I'm just going to have to go to bed as soon as he's finished I think. Knackered.

I'm sure they won't lose the doggy don't worry!

Yes to the responsibility thing. I research everything we do. Dh them thinks it's ok to ignore me and do his own hung with B which annoys the fuck out of me because he just does it on whim without actually knowing anything about babies. My new battle is that he keeps holding b to sleep. I'd just started having success getting him to self settle

Oh yes. Mr P's thing is to talk authoritatively to people about parenting, usually telling them something I told him 5 minutes earlier!! He has no bloody clue!