December 2012: the one where they're all potty trained. Sort of....

[Barbeasty]

The old thread was getting dangerously close to 1000 messages, so thought I'd better start this one.

They can be. I am hoping to visit some in other local towns when my Mum comes for a visit (and once the smalls are all settled into their respective daycare placed). The one in Hannover (my big local town) is squashed in to a pedestrian area and around a big church. It's ok ... But I have definitely been spoilt by the Christmas market in Nuremberg (oh, my word it is a lovely place).

I suppose the town itself isn't that ugly but the people here are. I actually saw a band playing Christmas music being told off for being too loud they were made to move. OTOH I understand but, the people asking them to move were not polite.
The people here are not polite.

People tut at you when you try and get in the train with a buggy. I have even been gutted at and told off for taking up so much pavement space with my buggy. It isn't a kid friendly place.
I could go on but you all don't want to read my whinging and moaning

If anybody wants to visit somewhere, go to Nuremberg! The people are more friendly (than in the north.... ) and the scenery is stunning!

Oh nutella I'm afraid that would make me develop a big line in cock off. If you said it with a big smile would they understand? That would provide my small brain with some amusement! Have you got nice buddies there? How come you moved?

DH is from the area. He moved away to do his training and moved to the south. Then he moved to Nuremberg when he got a job in his company. It's where their head office is. He always wanted to move back up here. When a job came up he was really excited and we moved. Except since moving back he has realised he doesn't fit in here anymore.

He has realised that the friends he went to school with who stayed here and never lived elsewhere aren't the friends he thought they were. He has changed and grown apart from them.

At first it was ok. But the lack of something simple like a cosy coffee shop bothered us. We looked around for a new flat, for places to hang out. And found a couple but... Well, it is still a sad miserable town. We have some friends but the good ones all have long term plans to not stay here.

Having kids has made it worse for me. I look around and think, it's a nice enough place to raise kids. But I do not want them to grow up and stay here.

Apparently the town does have a reputation. Other non local Germans I have met have told me that Hannover fits the things that people say about it.

Sorry, my moaning is really long!

I don't see DH moving the DC away from PIL

Would he move to another nearby town, or even a village around Hannover if there was a bit more life? There are some lovely places in Germany, it's a shame you're stuck somewhere neither of you like!

Surely if you were on a direct train line to get the DC over to PIL occasionally- but just remember that if you moved too far away they might come and stay for the odd long weekend....

I'm on the first train home today. Can't remember whether I put the parking ticket I bought on the dashboard or left it in the machine!! But I should be able to arrange to get my car back today (and then can put my season ticket back in it) so all is not lost!

Beasty we possibly could.... But right now we are busy settling the kids into daycare. Uprooting them doesn't seem fair (or like a particularly good idea ). I'm hoping that when I have more time and can possibly work it will make me feel better.

We only see the PIL once a month ish - they can't manage the two of them physically even when we are there with them so there is no childcare we would be missing out on if we were further afield.

I know that being away for a few weeks is what has made me unhappy. Coming back from our holiday it hit me all over again, how much I don't like it here. The approaching winter doesn't help either.

Nutella it must be awful living somewhere you're not happy or settled

nutella if it's really making you unhappy you must do something about it. You deserve to be happy too. Maybe give it 6 months and if you still hate it in the spring then move. The kids will be fine, if you are. Bless you.

Rather annoyingly dd2s school gave me the wrong time for my parent teacher apt - they wrote 6.50 when they meant 5.50. I was not impressed when they were all going home.

In a display of bad parenting I took my frustration out on dh and the dds by stomping and ranting about the house being a mess all the time. I stopped being an arsehole though when T was crying and saying sorry mummy but clearly didn't understand. I felt bad but all was well after some cuddles and stories.

Oh dear WL I would have been annoyed too! I'm glad I'm not the only one who takes my frustration out on the family

Sorry about abit of an absence.

WL i hope your settling in it will take a while but you will grow to love it, i bet.

Beasty, i hope your feeling ok with your arm.

Spotty i love the idea of a tree collage, and will be pinching it, it will keep H quiet for 10 minutes.

Frazzled i hope your next date is better and doesn't smell as bad.

Nutella, i also think you should give yourself a date and if your still unhappy where you live, then look at whether yoh could move. Life is too short to be unhappy. (Also my sister was born in Hannover, i have no recollection of the place though).

WL, don't beat yourself up for shouting, everyone takes their moods out on those they are closest too. You did the important thing when you apologised though.

Nanny i hope your getting on ok and the babies Colic is going.

Colic has all gone, the snip was magic! dh's turn next although not in quite the same place

Oh Nutella move! It's not going to improve and the longer you leave it the harder it will be!

So A stuck something in his throat and threw up at nursery yesterday, then went round licking other children. When challenged he said they were his germs and he was sharing. So there. He seems to have spent half the week in time out.

DD cut her hair last night. Spent the last 8 months growing out her fringe and now has a rather short and wonky one.

Pair of cretins.

Oh no beasty! Lots of for you

Haha beasty!
T continues to suffocate me and scream every time dh even looks at her - she's such a strop bag, we get regular complaints that other children have looked at her in shops etc. but the big 2 are being great together and really reminded me of db (nice one) and I as kids, mucking about and now dd2 is having a sleepover in dd1s room.

The dc are already in bed because they were being awful.

Your DC tickle me Beasty

WL, H can be a bit of a strop bag it winds me up.

So today i was getting H's dance clothes out the wardrobe and noticed that her teddy bear onesie which is for her Christmas performance and H refuses to wear is missing. I asked her where its gone and she told me quite certainly that Cinderella has stolen it!

Ha Beasty needed?

J has been horrific since 4:30. I think bonfire weekend at his dad's has been a bit much

Haha hales I wonder what she (cinders that is) has done with it!

I love the cheeky kid stories!
hales very naughty of Cinders I want to hear where / if you find it!!

DD has got more teeth!! She is getting more confident on her feet but no walking yet. A bit more standing and a bit more hands free standing... And today she started at nursery. Which she loved! The settling in process here is very slow - im hoping they will speed it up if she is happy.

And today is going well, I have changed our bed, cleaned the bathroom and am about to prep some soup for dinner fingers crossed I don't loose too much time on MN

And I talked to DH about moving. Even pre DC were weren't really happy here. I think we will move to another area, but we don't know where or when yet.
Also, as I suspected, DH doesn't want to move away from family I do understand. But, I don't see how it would change much.

That's good that you're talking about it nutella. I know it sounds mean but if being near pil is not that important to you, or perhaps dh except from a sense of duty, it would make sense to move to be happier. Whilst I know it's an awful decision, you're happiness as a family is so important. Keep talking and hopefully you'll find a path that suits you all.

Thanks WL. Sadly it is absolutely a sense of duty to live nearby with the only grandchildren. No other reason to stay near them. DH is better off and happier when his parents are at a distance. I don't know if I've gone into detail about some of their ridiculous manipulative ways on here; they definitely qualify as being toxic parents.

Things are ok at the moment. But I imagine if DH suggested moving away as a real possibility there would be some serious guilt brought down on DH.

Shame nutella. Could there be a happy medium where you live somewhere nicer but within a short enough distance for all to visit often?