September 2014 - Rocking and Rolling

[FATEdestiny]

Our babies are rocking and rolling, crawling and climbing into the second half of their first year.

Let the fun continue...

red don't go. I think it's really interesting how we are all SO different. Sometimes I read things and think 'that's mad' or 'i would never do that'. But mostly its 'thank god it's not just me' or 'that's actually really helpful/interesting/reassuring'.

I do online grocery shopping, and have done since I was about four months pregnant. I love it, rarely have problems with it so maybe I'm lucky. I cannot bear the thought of supermarket shopping with DS. I do however meal plan every week, and DH just gets to eat whatever I buy. Any moaning and the swift response is 'do it yourself then'. I only started meal planning after we had the baby, my head can only cope with so much thinking and I find that picking a meal off a list is easier than having to scrabble around the kitchen. I actually think I've become massively more organised since having a baby which is the complete opposite to what I thought would happen.

Red - Just musing what you meant by "TBH, after saying, you didn't want to sound like my DH was shit for having his own way of doing things", because I never said such a thing.

I can now see that we are talking at entirely crossed purposes there. Please don't take my posts so personally.

13:12. Team mentioned she did online grocery shopping

13:26. I responded saying good idea. Then went on to give a ditty about my friend who has to online shop cos her useless husband won't look after the children while she goes shopping.

Then logged off and thought about what I wrote and immediately thought it sounded like I was suggesting Team's DH was useless because she was online shopping. Which wasn't what I meant.

15:54. When I next logged on I immediately corrected myself to ensure Team know I was not referring to her DH being useless.

Then continued the flow of the conversation, which involved agreeing that when different people shop and cook it is difficult to coordinate and mentioning (nothing personal in it, just conversational) that DH & I deal with this by writing lists.

I believe that you thought the comment about rubbish DH was aimed at you. It wasn't. It was aimed at Team by way of correcting any potential misunderstanding. Nothing to do with you whatsoever Red.

At no point was this conversation about your husband Red.

I am acutely aware that you read too much into my posts sometimes and genuinely try my hardest just to be light and conversational. Again, I am sorry if I have not managed it on this occasion. I know you get anxious and defensive and I feel terrible if I have made that any worse for you. I will try harder should you post in future.

Ladies please stop arguing/talking about shopping and help me with the sleep troubles... Just joking of course.... but it is seriously getting difficult here... Most nights now we spend between 2 to 3 hours to send him to sleep... I simply don't have that sort of time and am suffering :( :( help!!!

Sorry for ranting... And being selfish !!!

I have done online shopping on and off since ages ago, years ago, since Tesco added a "favourite list" to their online system. I am another one who never write a list; I remember things most of the time, although my memory is really poor... If I forget something that doesn't really matter as supermarket is close and dh doesn't mind popping in for one item or two... If I absolutely don't want to forget something, then I just open my shopping app and put that thing in my basket. So yep, I also find writing list a waste of time...

I don't do meal planner; I just buy some usual stuff, say three type of meat, 5 types of veggies, etc. And then we just mix them as we go... I can't meal plan, it feels like adding another work to my already heavy schedule. It also sounds super organised and somewhat boring... I like mixing thing randomly and make a meal out of it... Recently with ds though, most of the time I make sure ingredients of something he loves is in the basket.
Red your veggie basket sounds like such a fantastic idea ; it actually makes me feel like cooking ! Do you mind telling us how or from where you arranged it delivered? Is it like a local organic shop or is it a national thing?

In the past year though, our very effective shopping system is being frequently disrupted. Because shopping in Aldi or Lidl saves us between 25 to 30 percent -at least- on each shop. And as I am really not bothered about any brands whatsoever, whenever we get a chance we do the shopping in either of those shops.

Calendars - paper calendars? I often wondered who uses them... We just do things digitally. If I am having a plan which may affect dh, I'll add that to his calendar and vice versa; I don't even like having two calendars (work and personal) let alone three (a paper family one) - I like everything digitally on my phone, in the same place,set up to alarm me in advance if necessary.

But thinking about it Fate, I think I understand why a big paper calendar on the kitchen wall of a family of 6 may be so helpful for the mum...

Not sure why my posts always get so long... Sorry ladies

Anybody has sleep problems like mine?

We do, Nazly! I know we should go through the pain now to get him a bit more settled, but it can take hours and hours, just like you said. So we are co sleeping, and relatively happy with it after our bedtime. But we are at a bit of a loss about what to do between his bedtime and ours. Our relatively painless nap time solutions don't seem to work then at all. The result is that he's up really late sometimes, which isn't going to work once we're all back at work.

We are dedicated online shoppers but poor list makers. But we do have a firm rule that the last roll of loo paper is an emergency and whoever puts it on the little holder thing must declare it publicly and repeatedly so that we get some more.

I hope everyone keeps posting, as I enjoy all of your contributions. It is really difficult to convey tone in written form - a hazard of communicating online!

Yup, Nazly, paper calendar. I love it!!! digitally wouldnt work for us!

Sleep here is grim....he goes to bed fine but thinks 4.30/5 is an acceptable time to wake up.

I am a meal planner and a paper calendar girl!

Red I use a sling for shopping - would that work? I do sometimes put him in the trolley but unless it's got a proper strap on it he just dives to the sides and grabs things as I go past. I've never done online shopping, I like my weekly trip to the supermarket

Poor DS isnt well, temperature of 40 last night and it's still spiking whenever the calpol and ibuprofen wear off. Phoned 111 in a panic as he wouldn't feed and was listless in the night, luckily he picked up within 20 mins and had a feed. Going to gp today I think. On the positive he slept well apart from that, which kind of confirms that it's his reflux or something else painful that keeps him up all night.

Nazly I can only offer support on the sleep front, mine is still shocking (tho as above, he only woke twice for a feed last night). I'm still taking the easy option of cosleeping and feeding to sleep, physically putting him down in a cot would just not work. My cot is still side-carred onto my bed so I do want to try and get him to sleep there. I bought a new mattress and topper yesterday, so fingers crossed.

Has anyone on here used the gro travel black out blind? I've bought one, but it has me flummoxed and is giving me serious rage Cups won't stick and Velcro seems to stick of its own accord where it shouldn't!

I'm really hoping that "online shopping gate" calms down quickly. I think we have a great group of mums here. We do take different perspectives and approaches, but I do really feel that we are all supportive and non-judgemental.

No one is perfect though, and I know I've sometimes written a post in a state of sleep deprivation/anxiety/desperation, looked back at it and hoped it wasn't taken in the wrong way by anyone! I try to always be aware of that in other people's posts too, not that there is ever much need for it.

FATE, I didn't take any offence at your post.

Red, I hope you won't leave this group.

I have a grizzler this morning

Red: nothing at all was aimed at you. I've no idea how you have even got that impression. We are all chatting about how we do things, everyone is different, again that's life. You have read something into something that simply isn't there. One of the reasons I find this thread so useful is because we all do things differently, it gives me new ideas to try.

so thanks everyone ?

Hope your okay kit kat, did you get antibiotics? I had to have a filling yesterday I think I lost half a stone in stress sweat, lovely eh! I'm terrified but my dentist is very good with me. Xx

Naz is he Hungry and can't settle or is that he wants to be on you? Sorry if I've missed something. Ds needed a bottle last night boohoo. How do you have a digital calender that syns we need that!!!

Oh I also got my period phew!

Team, "online shopping gate" bloody love it ??

Acorn hope ds is okay they are such a worry xx

Thank you for asking Whiteblossom but I don't get to see the dentist until later. Ironically it looks less puffy today - I think the abscess might have burst. Guess I should still get it looked at though. Sigh.

Also after foolishly writing yesterday that we had a better couple of nights Jessica inevitably decided today to prove me wrong, and woke up at 2.30am and never really settled afterwards (she would have brief dozes but that was it). Feel shattered today consequently. Can't decide if it was teething / tummy ache o me cutting down her night milk (she's now on 1/3 milk to 2/3rds water). She was blatantly unimpressed by this and drunk 2 x 6oz bottles back to back (which meant she drunk 8oz of water in an hour, which subsequently meant she had an absolutely FLOODED nappy this morning too).

Nazly how long do you leave your DS after you put him down? Sometimes I find it can take Jessica 10 minutes+ to settle when we put her down. If she is tired and stuffed with milk first then she usually does though. xx

Kitkat, I came to the conclusion that ds has growth spurts and as such needs an extra bottle or three every so oftan, then if I mention we had a good night, bam back to sleepless nights.....

I'm glad your cheek is less inflamed, best to get it checked so fingers cross it goes well for you.

Ds is massive he looks about 2.

Oh and Team we had the same issues with the Gro-blind. x

Cookie - Enjoy seeing your sister today, that's really special. Does she live overseas?

KitKat - Hope the dentist goes well. I must book a dentist appointment, keep forgetting. What with it being free until baby is 12 months, I usually try and get two or three dentist appointments in even if I don't need them, because they are free.

Team - those groblind things were mentioned on a sleep thread recently. I have thought about getting a couple for holidays so do give a product review once you've figured it out and used it for a while.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only calendar and lists girl here! Everyone is different, as someone upthread said (cookie I think) life would be dull if we were all the same. I quite like to listen to how other people go about their lives and find it interesting to muse over.

I couldn't do a digital diary, but that is possibly because I don't buy into the 'always connected' digital life. I am not on any social media, don't understand facebook or twitter, rarely use my phone (except to play HayDay!). It took me a long time to understand what an app was. I open the laptop and log into MN here in the same way I might read the paper - an interesting distraction for short bursts.

Our calendar is on the wall above the kettle so that every time I make a cup of tea I can glance up and see what's happening this week/month.

I am sorry again if I said anything tactless yesterday. It's not unheard of for me to speak/type without engaging brain and sorry for any offence caused. It was not meant.

Had a generally tetchy day yesterday caused mainly by over-tired children and anxiety induced by money worries (which is a whole other story). That doesn't give me reason to be stroppy with you lot though, 'cos you are all great

Thank guys but I think I'm going to disappear for at least a while and just pop back occasionally. Its been getting to me for a while.

Nazly lots of sleep issues here. DS has 2 day time naps and then generally won't sleep between 5 and 9 at the very earliest and it takes ages to get him to self. It usually more like 10.30. We know the problem is pretty much DH being around so DS wants to play. I pretty much have to hold DS still to get him to sleep these days. My Mum told me that my brother was the same. She used to have to hold his feet still to get him to sleep as he was still trying to constantly go.

I find the problem is worse when DS is over tired, so we are trying to get an early evening nap in too. He won't sleep from 7 or 8 right through, so we let him have 40mins ear;ier and then go back to bed when we do. I find it does make him better at sleeping if he's more rested. Its breaking the cycle of over-tired that's the issue for us. It only takes a couple of bad nights for him to go back to him taking hours to get to sleep.

I suspect that you being at work means he automatically gets over excited when you are home, in the same way that DS does with DH. I don't know what the remedy is, but maybe trying to get him nap earlier rather than later, then having a play and then going to bed, so that when he does have time with you he's not getting over tired and therefore not battling you in quite the same way.

I would also think the way you react to him when you collect him and get home from work might also drive things too as it will set a general tone for the evening. I've had to remind DH that he needs to calm things down at certain times - not just bedtime - because DS feeds off it. DH naturally gets excited himself when he gets home from work as he hasn't seen him all day so does find it hard, but he now does realise what is happening and how the two of them inadvertently wind each other up. DS looses all interest in me until he's hungry from the second DH walks in the door and starts squealing. Its sweet to watch and lovely that they have that relationship because its definitely problematic too if its also not measured.

I hope you find a way to work things out.

Nazly, your sleep issues.

Earlier you said "he goes from sleepy land to awake land in one second and the next second he is on the go... standing up in his cot trying to climb out!" - we have had exactly this same issue since DD has been standing and cruising about.

It came about very quickly too. Going to sleep was fine one night and then she learned she was able to stand (and climb) in the cot and suddenly wouldn't stay still in the cot. Always trying to crawl around or stand, even when dog-tired.

So what has solved it for us is the shock return of the swaddle sheet. I did it in desperation at first. At 3am one night when DD had spent over 90 minutes shuffling around in her cot and not staying still, I dug out the swaddle sheet (which hasn't been used for about 4 months) and as soon as she was swaddled she settled. Literally within 15 seconds. Immediately asleep.

I thin we've been swaddling for just over a week now - naps and night time. It has soooooo worked.

But. Did you use the swaddle when younger? I read on the Lullaby Trust website (worried about swaddling risks in the older baby) that while there is no upper limit on when you should stop swaddling. It did say that a swaddle shouldn't be introduced after 3 months of age unless it was established in the first 3 months. That the risks of later swaddling is only when it is a new thing.

You know before we were talking about baby's personal preferences being different to what you expected to be doing? Well DH & I are wondering if DD will be the first of our 4 children who will not use a sleeping bag. Maybe her personal preference is showing us that she prefers the tightly tucked in blanket that keeps her still and secure.

When I remember back to my childhood, I never liked duvets and always preferred blankets and sheets on my bed. Precisely because I liked to be tucked in and you can't tuck a duvet in. I think DD is showing us that she doesn't like the looseness of the sleeping bag and prefers to feel tight and secure in order to sleep.

Sorry for the long post. Hope it helps thought.

I will also do a little plug for persisting with a dummy. They are fantastic for independent self settling to sleep. It's a little late to be establishing it, but might still be doable.

Oh hello Red

We bought a gro blind on Saturday, DH puts it up every evening and we find it easy. In fairness though it fits our window almost perfectly and we have a stupidly wide plastic surround on our window.

DD has started waving in the last couple of days. Arm out stretched and arm doesn't move, but fingers do. She sort of opens and spreads her fingers wide, then closing to a fist, and repeating.

It's lovely to see the start of communication that is replicated in a turn-taking conversational way. You wave at me, I'll wave back at you. She also turn-takes in her babbling now. I go "Ah Rar Rar Rar" and she goes "Ohh Dar, Dar Dar" or whatever. But it is done in a I speak, she speaks, I speak, she speaks kind of way.

Ahh that's cute Fate! I keep waving at Jessica and clapping, but she hasn't 'got it' yet! x

Baby waving is so cute!

I'm sorry I don't have any advice in terms of your sleep issues Nazly, but it must be very difficult, especially as you are working.

Poor baby has tonsillitis . I'm annoyed I couldn't get him seen yesterday, he's had an extra 24hr of pain . I spoke to doctor on phone and nurse on 111 and neither recommended getting him seen . Good job I ignored them and demanded to be seen as an emergency. I've never had it, hoping not to catch it now!