September 2014 - Rocking and Rolling

[FATEdestiny]

Our babies are rocking and rolling, crawling and climbing into the second half of their first year.

Let the fun continue...

FATE I'm amazed you manage to hoover twice per day

The hovering is done twice a day, I don't do both though. But I do hoover every morning. Big family, plus pets, I need to. Only takes 10 minutes - just what is visible. The kids then do the evening hovering as part of their tidy up chores before bedtime. I do a 'deep clean' (as in moving furniture to hoover) once or twice a week.

Red Could you do your shopping at a time when DS is left at home with DH for a while? It wouldn't be a long term thing, just until he's a bit older and more distractible.

Or do smaller shops with DS in the pushchair and use a basket rather than a trolley?

Our local Tesco have trolleys attached to Cosy Cope push-along cars. Very popular, parents have been known to fight over them! . But maybe DS is still a bit little for those? Would he sit in a push along car?

At some point dh and i need to have a chat about contraception, I don't think withdrawal mixed with rhythm method is very foolproof.... Dh and i seem to be putting off that conversation. Yet I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be happy if I fell pg again.

I got married in 2003 and in the 12 years since then DH and I have used the rhythm method, knowing my cycle inside out, as both a means of contraception and when TTC. It has been very effective. But then through all that time it never really mattered if I got pregnant at the "wrong" time.

Last week marks the start of me using proper contraception in more than a decade. I had the copper coil fitted.

As it happens (TMI alert!) DH and I got jiggy this morning, first time since it was fitted. DH tells me he can feel the wires and it's not pleasant. Not sure what we'll do about that long term

KitKat Tooth ache is pants. You have my sympathies

Or just do what I do and avoid shopping entirely by doing it online and getting it delivered!!!

That is quite true Team, I'd not thought of that. My friend with an incompetent parent of a husband does all of her grocery shopping online because it's either that or taking the children with her every grocery shopping trip, which gets tiresome weeks after week. God forbid her DH could actually cope looking after his own children for an hour while she does the shopping without them.

We've found click and collect works brilliantly for us since I was pregnant. I "do the shop" on a Thursday evening and DH picks up about 8-9am on a Saturday morning. If something's forgotten he can always nip in. And when he comes back we put away together (can't leave him to do it, he still doesn't know the "correct" place for things!)
We are not intending to change this for the foreseeable.

It is quite a drive to the nearest big supermarket, so I've been getting it delivered since we moved here. I love it and would hate to go back to doing the shopping! For £6 a month I would far rather have a couple of extra hours a week of quality time with DD, especially now I'm going back to work.

I find online shopping horrendous to be honest. DH does the majority of the cooking so ordering for him is a nightmare and he really does not have the time nor the patience to do it himself. Getting him to meal plan as it is, is an ongoing battle. Its really not an option.

I've just come back and re-read my post and notice it reads in totally not the way I meant . Online shopping is a great way to shop without needing to trudge children around the supermarket. It does not automatically mean your DH is rubbish!

We have a similar issue Red in that DH does the grocery shopping, I do the mid-week cooking and DH does the weekend cooking. It has taken some time for us to get in sync. While I don't meal plan, I do have a set of staple meals so shopping doesn't overly vary from week to week.

We also write a full shopping list. We find it helps a lot both with budgeting and remembering what to buy. The list is ongoing and is added to constantly. Sometimes me and baby go mid-week to do the small catch-up and fresh shopping, but that's done in a basket. DH does the "big shop".

I think is the main grocery shopping was my job, I'd do it online. If we both worked it would definitely be online.

It really will not work to do online shopping in this house. Its not something that is even up for consideration. Shopping lists are not something DH can cope with, despite my best efforts. He has stated categorically on numerous occasions that he does not want to do a meal planner. He's got better but its taken long enough to get to the point we have done.

He does the cooking so its his mandate. One of the things he has done is order a fortnightly veg box, which we don't know the contents of until it arrives, precisely to keep things interesting so he has to use his imagination cooking and not get stuck in a rut making the same things week in and week out. This has been a step forward as we had been eating far too many ready meals since DS had been born and it gave him a renewed motivation to cook healthier meals.

We've had enough arguments over cooking and shopping in the past not about to get into another one about it. I'm tired enough at the moment as it is without creating yet another battle ground needlessly.

When you finish something you don't buy every week - say mint source or toothpaste or whatever. Do you just hope you remember it then? I genuinely don't understand what would be difficult to cope with regarding writing down that we need to buy toothpaste 'cos we're on the last in the tube. Or blades for the razor. Or soya source. Or whatever.

Our shopping list isn't to do with dinners and meal plans. It is about stuff that I am likely to forget unless I write it down as soon as I think about it.

Maybe I'm just getting old and my memory isn't what it used to be!

fate when we run out of things we live without it for a while until one of us remembers it when we are out shopping!

Dh wants me to do online shopping but I get really irritated flicking through the pages, although I do like that they bring it to your door (lazy)

Clearly what works for one family may not work for another after all if we were all the same the world wild be a very boring place!

would not wild!

We do online food shop. I order it, as I don't drive so couldn't do big shop on my own, and DP hates trudging around the supermarket so he would always rush me and it would always end in an argument. It is easier but I do find us eating the same things week in and week out. DP does the cooking but wants minimum preparation and gives me no input on what he wants to eat, so he basically puts in the oven whatever I buy. Obviously then there's always the items that aren't available and the numerous things they give you about to go out of date which does make me think it would be easier to do in person!

Red - Would it be possible for your DH to do the food shop on his own, especially as he does the majority of the cooking?

Fate - I do like a good list. It has gone so far now though that I forget what I was going to write down between thinking of it and going to the next room to write it down or put it in my phone!

I just wouldn't remember things unless I write them down straight away.

Same as the family planner calendar. I wouldn't remember anything if it wasn't written on the calendar there in the kitchen. I often tell DH (when he forgets to tell me about a weekend he's working or a night out he has planned) that if it isn't written on the calendar, then it isn't happening!

I suppose it is a bit different for me though with a big family and lots going on. What with remember to provide cakes for the cake sale on Tuesday, None uniform at Guides this week, car insurance due at the end of the month, governors meeting, DH working a late shift, cub camp to pay for and parents meeting. My brain just wouldn't retain all of this information unless it was written down.

Ella, Jay - you must have some element of needing to be organised with your family life too. Please tell me I am not the only anal one who functions this way! :-|

Fate, we too have the rule 'if it's not on the calender...' first on the calender gets first dibs too....

This weekend dh forgot to his football match on and I'd already booked an appointment with the beauty salon...I did rearrange mine though I'm not a complete bitch ?

The only info I care about this week is that my sister and her dh is flying in tomorrow with her two boys, she hasn't met E yet and the best part she is staying for a month - squeeeeeee!

Yes we both just remember stuff.

My last two jobs I remembered accounts inside out and would know the detail of something 5 years previously off the top of my head. The only reason I generally would write notes was for someone else. DH is very similar. Its simply the way we are. It would be better if DH wrote down his diary for me, but on whole notes are a big fat waste of time for both of us. We both just learn and retain information after reading/hearing/seeing once. Not doing a shopping list is the grown up equivalent of being the irritating kid who doesn't need to revise for exams.

The thing is when you are like that why create more work for yourself if you can go to the supermarket and back quicker than if you made a list?

TBH, after saying, you didn't want to sound like my DH was shit for having his own way of doing things, I find your subsequent questioning of doing things differently to you particularly grating. It is starting to really feel that if you don't do things your way you are quick to pass a judgemental comment that x bad thing will happen. Its really undermining to the confidence to those people who are trying an alternative method because a certain method just doesn't bloody work for them.

We clearly are very different people, but I am increasingly feeling like I can't contribute here because of the obvious clash of personalities. Which is a shame because I really valued it and really enjoyed it and think a lot of some of you. Its made some things a lot easier over the past few months. But perhaps its no longer doing that for me.

Cookie: Bet your sister can't wait to meet E!

Thank you for your tooth ache sympathies. The left side of my face is now even more swollen so looking forward to seeing dentist tomorrow (well sort of, I'm not a great fan of dentists)!

I fell in love with online shopping when Jessica was little. Jessica wanted to be on my boob all the time so going to the shop for an hour just wasn't happening (and God knows what DH would buy if he went alone). But I've fallen out of love with it recently because they keep missing items or sending silly replacements. Once I ordered a loaf of bread and they sent nothing as there was 'no suitable substitution available'. I was like 'really, there was no other loafs of bread in the whole shop'? Although the biggest problem is that I put off doing the shop for agggges, and then by the time I get around to doing it we have no milk, bread, etc; and can't wait a day or two for a delivery, and I just figure if I have to pop to Tesco's for a couple of bits then I may as well do a whole shop. Plus now I'm not breastfeeding I can just leave Jessica with DH whilst I go out. I actually quite like the baby break and shopping in peace for an hour now!

Sorry x-post Red. Please keep posting here. I enjoy reading your posts. xx

Red, I love reading your posts!! Please don't go...........I'd miss you

We don't write anything down either......... I tried a calendar at the suggestion of a friend who finds it very useful(she also thought it'd be lovely to look back at the calendar at the end of year and be pleased about all that her family have been up to...... SERIOUSLY?? ).......lasted about two weeks.......then I tried a little diary in my handbag/changing bag......this lasted almost a month......

No notice board or anything here........yup, this house definitely runs more towards chaos than order.

DH is also crap at remembering when I've told him that I've something planned (maybe it's the same vice-versa). Well you can imagine what happens!!!

Online (be it collect or delivery) is also rubbish when you want a specific thing (formula milk for DD or jars/pouches of baby food) and uh-oh! It's not currently available.......yet if you actually pop into the actual branch, it's right there on the shelf!!!

I have a calendar with me dh b us and events on it so we know exactly what's going on. I also have a diary and a little book which I write shopping lists in. I am a list addict. dh will yell through that we need oj or bran flakes and if I don't write it down I forget it.
back to the uk tomorrow. am v as hate goodbyes at the best of times and suspect won't see my granny again and don't know when seeing my mum, dad or siblings again.

Don't stop posting Red. We would miss you.

My posts are absolutely not personal to you, or anyone else. Just me mussing. Other people are not as anal as me! I already know that from all of my friends who think my hyper-organisation "funny" (to put politely).

Nothing I write is aimed at you specifically or meant to be judgmental. I was just generally responding to the flow of conversation. Todays posts were more about me (getting old and forgetting things when I don't write them down).

I make no judgment of your DH and absolutely wouldn't. I actually think he sounds like a nice, very supportive chap from what you've said about him.

Having said all of that, I cannot pretend not to notice that you take my posts personally and to heart. I have thought about this after you responded defensively to my posts before. In response I do try my best to keep things conversational and light with you specifically. I am sorry if I have not managed to do that very well today. I am sorry you felt my posts judgmental, they were not written in any way that was meant to be. But if you have read them that way, I am sorry. None of it was meant nor was it in any way malicious.

I wish you would be able to take my posts less personally I just say what pops into my head at that moment and sometimes it comes out wrong. Despite what you might think that I think Red, I think you are a fantastic parent and an amazing person. I think your DH sounds spirited, adventurous and most importantly very supportive of you and a great father.

red please dont go. I enjoy your posts.

I fell in love with online shopping when Jessica was little.

I have actually never done online grocery shopping. But I did fall in love with online Christmas shopping several years ago and I have not done a Christmas city centre shopping trip for several years now.

I am not like many of the females I know in that I do not enjoy shopping at all. At Christmas especially. In the years before online Christmas shopping I used to organise the trip with military precision - know exactly what I was getting, from where, the route to walk. Get it all one in one trip.

I once did my entire Christmas shop (including extended family gifts) in Argos one Christmas eve. That's teaching for you, no time to shop. If it wasn't in stock in Argos that year, then I bought something else that was in stock.

It's a bit difficult now that DD (10) is getting to the shopping age, because evidently she is very different from me. Luckily my Mum is loving taking her shopping and doing all the girls girly things she didn't get to do with me.

Please stay Red x