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September 2014 - 6 months already?!

999 replies

holls2000 · 09/03/2015 14:32

new thread!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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ApplesTheHare · 04/05/2015 20:04

Ella gosh I hadn't clocked the 4 months thing... eeek!Shock

holls2000 · 04/05/2015 21:50

4 months!! Scary.
I can now say I'm back at work next month. Equally scary.

Today my son discovered chocolate ice cream. He also had a gulp of daddy's beer....mummy fail award here!

I have tried giving him bigger suppers over the weekend, and with pasta and he has slept much better. Today he napped in morning and then on drive home but was too excited to sleep this pm. He went to bed at 7 having had a good hours playing with DH which was lovely to watch. He us waking up at 6 really, but hoping to push this to 7 eventually! We are going to my parents for 19 days on fri so I figure that's a good time to try and work on him self settling at 2am rather than me putting dummy back in!

September 2014 - 6 months already?!
OP posts:
lilone1234 · 04/05/2015 22:24

We have had lots of head bumping on laminate floor too. I don't really worry about it doing any damage, but it's not nice to hit your head and it does hurt! We've got the foam playmat stuff too but can't leave her sitting up unsupervised! It makes me feel awful more than anything when she falls because she does have a big cry!

I think the princess name is lovely too!

We are up north for the funeral tomorrow in the hotel now. DD in travel cot so hoping she'll sleep alright. Tears before sleep when she was put down. It's the sleep sobbing that breaks my heart!

Nazly · 04/05/2015 23:12

I would not worry if he was falling from sitting down, but since he has discovered how to get hold of sofas and stand up and is trying constantly to climb the sofas, I am now concerned about laminate flooring
To be honest he is changing so fast it was a bit unexpected. It is a week or so now that I can not leave him in his cot because he immediately starts to climb the bars and stand up using the bars, but then he doesn't know how to sit down so he sometimes falls down badly, a couple of times facing the bars which is painful really. He is still not crawling forward; not very fast anyhow- so A few days ago I put him in the middle of the rug to go make a call, thinking Before he gets anywhere I'll be back; my conversation took maybe a minute or less, when I got back he was sitting next to my lovely plant (furthest corner of the room); holding a part of the plant in one hand (taken out from roots) and going for more and for soils on the floor before I jumped and picked him up. I am giving away all my plants next week... Sad

Another problem I have is as soon as I put him down in his cot, he starts moving, however tired he is. He starts rolling, crawling, rotating climbing, basically doing everything he has recently learnt apart from lying down. It is so difficult; he fights and does not want to sleep... A couple of times I then gave up and took him back to living room, but then he ended up playing more and being overtired at bed time and not wanting to sleep by his own and wanting milk and cuddles... ConfusedConfusedConfused

Mums with more experience in mobility, fate, jay, Ella and of course Red, is this what is supposed to happen??? Previously I would just put him down in his cot and he would self settle... Sometimes he just needed some patting and shushing... Nothing like that now, just moving and moving and moving and laughing, screaming, chatting, everything apart from sleeping l.. We are going backwards in with sleeping fast...

TeamEponine · 05/05/2015 07:24

Lil, hope things go ok today. X

Nazly, my DD isn't that mobile yet, but I was talking to my mum yesterday and she was telling me to enjoy this time before she is mobile. One of the things she mentioned as being difficult was exactly what you describe, so I'm guessing it is relatively common.

We also have hard floors, but I got a big fluffy rug recently to soften any blows! I also put a couple of cushions behind her whenever she is sitting on the floor playing. We've only had a couple of proper head bumps off of the floor so far, but I'm expecting more!

Need to start baby proofing the house soon! Shock

RedToothBrush · 05/05/2015 10:06

Nazly, that's exactly why I found it so stressful and difficult to adjust to and really could have done with the support when DS became mobile. Team, your Mum is definitely right. I feel like I missed out on that time really.

Like you Nazly it happened pretty fast, and the speed with which DS perfected crawling and pulling up was quick really. We have laminate floors like some of you, and they are a bit of a nightmare to be honest, but do have the advantage of being less likely to give carpet burns to little knees! We've improved with mats, blankets, cushions and bean bags placed tactically, plus I sit on the floor all the time now, rather than on the sofas.

He is a complete ninja and KNOWS the second you turn your back and knows what he is allowed, and what he is not allowed to have. The trouble is when you react to him getting something he shouldn't, you are giving him attention, so it rapidly becomes a game. He also wants things that Mummy has more than anything. Like mobile phones and keys and cables. To a certain extent it is better to watch him with some of those, rather than fight with him as he loses interest in them quicker. Equally you can use this to persuade him to play with his actual toys Wink. Cardboard boxes have been a lifesaver too as they are hours of fun and a massive distraction. (Pampers sized boxes are ideal. Or medium sized Amazon boxes. However, be warned they can be pushed around and climbed on allowing access to places you think are out of reach!) We also have a travel cot set up in the front room as an emergency play pen. I don't use it much, but its good if I need to just plonk him somewhere and can't keep an eye on him.

To a certain extent there is only so much you can do to save his fall on the laminate. Bare feet is a big help to stop slips. So we have moved into trousers and footless baby grows. Despite being careful DS has ended up with loads of bruises, which was really upsetting at first, but I'm getting more used to it. The first time he got a bad one - a black eye - I found particularly difficult. I was terrified someone would say something! The thing is there is ONLY so much you can protect them and they do bounce quite well. Its just hard to adjust to it.

I think the first couple of weeks were hardest, as both DS and I got used to it. And obviously as his balance has improved he has learnt not to fall quite as much. He's only learned that through trial and error though.

RE: Bedtime. I've been reading everyone posting about sleep training quite amused as there isn't a cat in hells chance it would work with the way DS is. We never have had the same window of opportunity to try those tactics. DS has a magic self righting system where the second you put him down he rolls over, crawls or stands up. It would be a completely fruitless exercise trying to put him in his cot and shh him. He just wants to PLAYYYYYYYYY. I am not prepared to let him scream it out for any length of time (in part because I wouldn't be surprised if he escaped his cot). We have had to co-sleep which isn't ideal in the slightest. However we do have a routine in the sense that we have quiet time in the bedroom and wind down slowly. He isn't allowed to go crawling around. (Which can result in much baby wrestling). I have found that sometimes giving him 30mins to burn off a bit of energy before he gets over tired can be helpful too if he's really having none of it. Good daytime naps do seem to stop that being so much of an issue. He's generally easier to settle during the day anyway. He's not good settling around DH though. He only has to see DH and he gets hyper, so DH is getting banished a lot lately.

Beyond that I don't really have any great gems of wisdom for sleep as DS doesn't really have an off switch and we are struggling with it. I think we have just about got past the worst part of it where he would wake hourly and crawl and stand up with his eyes still closed, whilst he screamed. Hopes desperately. Milk and cuddles work, so I'm going with it. I wouldn't get any sleep otherwise.

DS has learnt to unscrew things and open my handbag (it has a zip with a long tag) in the last couple of days, so don't assume that they can't get into things just yet too, if you are thinking about baby proofing.

DH hasn't quite cottoned on to how much DS can do sometimes too as he isn't here as much. He often gets caught by surprise so its worth keeping half an eye on your partner and giving them a gentle reminder every now and then.

Oh and high chairs whilst out. DS has climbed out of them and onto the table before (the straps are generally useless). So watch that one too.

Hope that helps in some way. DS gets more awesome everyday as he learns to do stuff, but I've found this bit much harder than the newborn stage as he was an easy newborn and he's turning into a Tasmanian Devil. I had anticipated him being a little bit of a terror when a toddler and expected him to be difficult as a newborn so it really caught me by surprise and was a shock to the system at this point. If I'm honest I really didn't enjoy it at first.

LillyBugg · 05/05/2015 13:19

Red this all sounds scary! Brilliant advice though. I think I'm only a few weeks from needing it. DS is doing a lot of rolling, and holding up his hands to be sat up. Attempting to crawl but failing miserably resulting in many tears.

He's not been himself the past few days, clingy and all over the place with sleeping. Some nights we have had lots of wake ups and some only a couple. He had a daddy day on Sunday and he had a three hour nap. Wtf?! He never does that for me. Today hes whinged in his cot for forty minutes and I think he's just dropped off now. He just doesn't seem himself and I'm not sure why. I'm thinking perhaps teeth, as we have absolutely none yet and no signs either. Everyone tells me it's a nightmare so maybe this is the start of it.

LillyBugg · 05/05/2015 13:22

Oh and on a positive note, DS has learnt to find his own dummy and put it in himself. After he falls asleep at night I go in and put four dummies in his cot around him. Since I've done this he has actually self settled a couple of times. Last night was the best night we've had, asleep at seven, he woke me at midnight but I tried to ignore him and go back to sleep and next thing I know it's 4am! He must have found the dummy and gone back off. I fed him at four and then he woke for the day at seven. I wish every night could be like that one. But I am grateful for it nevertheless.

lilone1234 · 05/05/2015 18:09

Holls - just managed to see the pic of your DS eating ice cream when not on phone - such a cutie!

ApplesTheHare · 05/05/2015 19:27

Red I'm in awe of anybody who found the early baby days easy. You must have the patience of a saint. I struggled so much mentally with being cooped up and stuck in one place feeding, whereas I find this mobile stage exhilarating and enjoyable as I'm always on the move chasing dd towards the next hazhard she's set her sights on [

EllaBella220 · 05/05/2015 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FATEdestiny · 05/05/2015 21:16

Holls - Your DS has so much hair! My DD has a tiny wisp of really fine light hair, you can hardly see it.

Nazly - If you've not sorted sleeping in the cot by the time baby is standing, it becomes infinitely more difficult. You have sleeping sorted though, so shouldn't be a problem to get through this. It's just a stage.

In those early days, it's normal to just go with the flow with what baby wants. But as you've found, when they get older you start to become your child's teacher and you start teaching them boundaries and what is acceptable and what isn't. In a gradual, age appropriate way of course.

Standing and climbing in the cot is just another of these stages where you have to teach boundaries to your child. It's not different to the stages you've already been through and taught. Some I have been through include:

  • Glad to see you have figured out what your hands are for, but pulling your dummy out and inspecting it when trying to sleep will not make Mummy smile. (phase lasted about 3 weeks)
  • Fantastic you can blow raspberries and they make Mummy laugh. But blowing raspberries with a mouthful of food will get a stern face and a firm "no". (phase lasted less than a week)
  • You can climb and chase the dog. But you will not ever be allowed to do this with the cat because she will claw your face. So Mummy will always move you away with a firm "no, leave the cat alone". (working progress)

So climbing in the cot is just about setting and teaching boundaries, which is what parenting a toddler is all about! We are going through climbing in the cot at the moment too. Once awake she's up on all fours and climbing over the cot bars. It is just repetition - No, we lie down to sleep. Hand on chest. Repeat, repeat, repeat

Nazly - you have the benefit that your DS is and was a good self settler. So this is just a phase that runs alongside his new skill. Because you have sleep otherwise sorted, it will just be a phase rather than a permanent change.

TeamEponine · 05/05/2015 21:24

Holls, just noticed the picture! Wow, he looks so grown up and such a gorgeous boy Smile

Nazly · 05/05/2015 23:57

Fate, Red, thank you so much. Both posts were really useful. More than you could imagine.
fate sleep is far from sorted out. For whatever reason he does not self settle during the night and needs a feed... This is not ideal but I am just not mentally prepared to go through any sleep training programme just yet.
Currently as soon as his sleep is disturbed, he is suddenly on his all four and crawling backwards until he gets to the bars and then he sits down; all these with eyes almost closed...

I just noticed he is ready to learn boundaries too; but it is such a difficult job, as soon as he knows sth is not allowed,he is just after opportunity to do it...

RedToothBrush · 06/05/2015 07:39

Apples in fairness he was an easy newborn. He settled into routine by himself very quickly and slept very well. It was just the feeding that was an issue - and that's an issue we are continuing to have really. He was very smiley and we'd only really have an hour of grumbles about 7pm. Plus I like iplayer.

We've had a better night here. DS didn't want to sleep on top of me at all and there was actually a gap between us for most of the night. He woke a couple of times but settled pretty easily just from me touching him. I have to say that I think part of his sleep issues is separation anxiety related. He wakes up and immediately starts searching for me with eyes closed. I think he needs the reassurance that I'm close by. My suspicion is when he's better with that and food, things will improve a lot.

holls2000 · 06/05/2015 09:10

nazly I have this morning had to sooth b to sleep with a hand rubbing his tummy cos he was all about the trying to crawl round cot in a sleeping bag even though he isn't crawling yet.....

I have started giving him pasta based suppers as I find that this can lead to fewer night time awakenings. now I have said that he will have some dreadful nights.

we go away on friday. am now getting stressed about the flight and emotional about leaving dh here. B seems to have enough outfits for 4 a day and I'm not sure I actually have anything to wear.

OP posts:
LillyBugg · 06/05/2015 09:33

DS slept through for the first time EVER. 8.30pm - 6.30am. I think some kind of miracle occurred and it will never be repeated. I'm not that lucky am I?!

Sorry to those who have had bad nights :( but I just HAD to share!!!

FATEdestiny · 06/05/2015 10:40

Yeah LillyBugg! Grin

Nazly, my mistake I thought you'd said he was self settling well. The hand on tummy (like holls said) has become a regular soothing thing when my DD wakes at the moment, because of the crawling, sitting up, climbing etc just as you mention. It doesn't cause her to cry (dummy solves that!) just teaches her that she needs to be still in order to sleep.

We are only a few days into needing this at night, it's a new thing. In not-too-long she'll either stop waking up or will stop trying to climb when waking because she'll learn that this is something she is discouraged from doing in the cot.

There are regular threads on the Sleep board about 18-24 month olds who are out of the cot and into a proper bed at night. And parents are asking how do I make my child stay in bed? When I point out they are out of a cot way too soon, children still cannot self settle effectively at that age, they say that they were climbing out of the cot (so dangerous) so decided to move into a big-boy-bed instead.

I try to explain that teaching your baby not to climb the cot sides is not only possible, but is responsible parenting. To me, it seems like lazy parenting to not bother teaching safety like not climbing out of the cot, instead defer the problem by removing the cots sides. It doesn't tackle anything and means the parents face the more difficult problem of keeping a child who lacks bedtime boundaries, in bed.

So teaching your baby now that climbing the cot sides is not acceptable behaviour and that he needs to lie down on his own to sleep, may well save a lot of problem as they become a toddling older baby.

Oh course, by-passing the cot completely and co-sleeping through to school age when child is ready to sleep alone is another perfectly acceptable option too. I know lots of parents who do this. Stopping co-sleeping only needs to be distressing if it is done too soon, so if everyone is happy to co-sleep until child is ready to move then it is as good an option as anything.

FATEdestiny · 06/05/2015 10:47

Today I gave away all of DDs up-to-6-months baby clothes to a friend who is due in July.

Feels very cathartic. With all other of my children I have not given stuff away, just stored them in the loft ready for the next child. This time, stuff is going as soon as it is grown out of.

It feels good, like I am ready to close the book. End of the last baby chapter and onwards and upwards into the last toddler chapter. Previously I not felt this certain that I was done.

LillyBugg · 06/05/2015 10:50

Thanks for the dance fate :) there was much dancing here to lol!

With the cot climbing, how would that work if baby is already in the nursery though? DS moved to his own room at four months and I know we will eventually face the climbing problem. I'm not there all night to prevent him from doing it so I'm not sure how I would teach him. I can see why people take the sides off just out of pure worry from a safety perspective.

FATEdestiny · 06/05/2015 11:06

I suppose it would mean sitting on the floor next to the cot with an arm through the bars onto his tummy/chest. If in own room and climbing, the base of the cot will need to be lowered so leaning into the cot is harder.

I think Holls DS is in his own room (?), so maybe she can say how she does it.

I do it all from lying on my bed, so it's much easier. Mine have all been around 9 months when they've gone into their own room, once all this kind of stuff is sorted.

ApplesTheHare · 06/05/2015 12:34

Red you might have already tried this but does he have a comforter? It really seems to help DD having something soft to hold onto at night. She has other toys in her cot but drags her comforter round with her as she spins/climbs/rolls in her sleep and smushes it into her face throughout the night to help her settle. She'd got really attached to sleeping holding onto my pyjamas before we gave it to her....! Blush

ApplesTheHare · 06/05/2015 12:34

Holls I've just seen that gorgeous hair as I'm not on the app - he looks so grown up!!!x

Nazly · 06/05/2015 12:48

First visit to minor injury unit - crawled and got to laminate too fast and slipped and his face hit the floor, mouth down; gums cut the lips and next thing I know there is blood every where... A lot of it!
Got It checked and It was nothing really, just a cut in the lips; if I wasn't a ftm I probably would have stayed home... But he has massive swollen lips and they said it is always better to get it checked with lots of blood, etc.
I hope We don't have to make many visits. We will be baby proofing fast.

Fate it is confusing for me too, he knew how to self settle during the day but not at night!!!! Since crawling he doesn't do either of those.

About teaching as responsible parent:.What you say makes sense but I just don't know how to do it. It is just a couple of weeks since I started to use the word "No" here; and he perfectly gets that; but Based on my observation he just becomes more keen to do exactly what he is not supposed to do when I am not looking; I experienced it too many times, one of them with the plant incident. He is too young to understand I am saying it for his own sake... So while I kept telling him no to crawling and standing in the cot, it seems it just encourages him to do it more. Same with standing in the bath and climbing the bath handels, etc...

FATEdestiny · 06/05/2015 13:02

Glad he's OK Nazly, perfectly understandable that you'd want to get his lip checked out.

While I would like to be able to say I never say "no" (as modern parenting suggests), it does indeed pass my lips often. But not overly so. If you use facial expressions, babies understand it more. Likewise actions, most usually physically moving baby at this age. You can't converse or explain to a baby at this age but you can still start to teach boundaries.

For example: Doing X makes Mummy smile so I will do it again for Mummy. Doing Y makes Mummys face look stern and so baby will lose interest sooner. Four children and I have perfected "The Stare" and "The Disappointed Mum" face, without saying a word.

When DD was blowing raspberries with food in her mouth, I would remove the food and spoon from her tray and turn away from her for a moment. She went from doing it constantly (egged on by her siblings who found it hilarious) to not at all within a week.

There is of course a case of picking your battle and with regards to a plant I would just move it out of reach. But for example our nasty cat (unfriendly, but still part of the family), I cannot just remove her so baby needs to learn to leave the cat alone.