September 2014 - 6 months already?!

[holls2000]

new thread!

Ha, I have never really been fashionable anyway, but I also am living in leggings/jeans and tops. But that's what I wore before I was pregnant too! I make the effort if we are going out but even then it usually involves leggings!

We want another baby, and think we will probably start trying again next January. Seems like this is a popular time for all of us who know we want another haha.

Over 30s fashion - Banana Republic. Though I buy strictly in the sales as its too expensive otherwise.

Otherwise I'm still an indie kid time warped from the 90s unless I have reason to smarten up. Jeans, trainers, tshirt, jumper. H&M is great for plain basics. God its been so long since I went shopping I can't remember were I do. I'm very petite whilst amply chested which causes me additional problems so that rules out even more places. I confess I often buy clothes on holiday, because I prefer non-British preferences for less faddy clothes which are out of fashion next year. I have a lot of items that are pretty old but you can't tell from the design because I try and buy classically cut stuff.

I haven't bought anything new since DS was born as I refused to in part because I felt if I did I'd never have an incentive to get back into my old things. Hence I've been continuing to wear my maternity jeans. However I've just got to the point where they are falling down but I can't get into my jeans due to having too much of a belly. So I have bought a couple pairs of leggings from Tesco to tide me over. Tesco is not to be knocked to be honest.

I was pleasantly surprised though as I feared I'd never get back into my gorgeous skinny jeans again as I thought my hips have expanded never to return, but they did go over my hips, its just my belly that's the issue. That's rectifiable though, so I'm happy. I've been eating a LOT of chocolate so I think its more or less a case of being strict with myself and cutting it out. I didn't want to cut back too much whilst breast feeding but I really should start now. I've a stone to loose.

Speaking on which, when I saw MIL last at family event the very first words that passed her lips were "Hows the weight loss going?" No hello or how are you. Just that. Followed by "Is he in on solids yet?" which she has been repeating since before Christmas (she started weaning BIL at 10weeks!). Suffice to say she's pissed me off and we haven't made plans to visit.

To those saying one is enough. In some cases it is but don't be surprised if, when your now LO is about 4 and the memory of sleepless nights and bf'ing issues have faded, you find yourself thinking 'aww maybe another one now' as this is what happened to us.

I'm 37 in a couple of months. This is not a luxury that I have. I was very wary about leaving it this late as it was. There are risks I'm not really prepared to take.

I'm 27 and have been buying most of my clothes from Next since I was early 20s. I used to go to Dorothy Perkins and topshop in my teens but nothing appeals to me there now. Plus my bottom will no way fit into anything on sale in topshop now . I've just recently discovered Joules though and I quite like it! They have nice baby clothes too.

Still broody here. I think about baby no.2 every day! Though the words that I uttered immediately after J was born: "I am never doing that again. And also I want a medal please" keep popping into my mind

Red - how rude of your MIL. You did well not to punch her in the face!

I have finally kicked myself in to gear for weight loss now that we have a pretty good routine (sure to be disrupted now i've said that!). As I said i'm only now really able to start exercising again, but have also been guilty of eating far too much chocolate! So i'm trying to sort out my eating habits too. My weight has been up and down ever since I started dieting at around 15 but have steadily gained weight (between 3 and 4 stone!) for the last 3 years due to DP being a total feeder. Even now, I can stick to eating healthily during the week while he is at work and I plan our evening meals too. I've told him not to buy me treats but as soon as it's the weekend he's all about the junk food and take aways and it's so hard to fight! I've got about 3 stone to lose to get down to a weight i'm happy with, ideally before my wedding next June!

Oh and I can't wait for summer for flip flops and linen trousers - so easy, so comfy, yet not scruffy!

I've for about a stone to lose, or 1.5 if I really want to hit my target that I've been trying and failing to reach for years . I actually lost a lot of my baby weight quickly but piled it on again and which is even worse! I don't actually know why, cos I can't eat dairy I've had very little chocolate, cake, pizza etc that's usually my downfall. And I'm still ebf'ing! I'm trying to walk 4 miles most days, it isn't enough but better than nothing. I buy most of my clothes from tk maxx, usually jumpers and jeans. I'm still wearing some maternity jeans - I can get normal ones on, just, but there's an awful overhang that I can't hide under my too-small tops

Booked a last minute caravan in Dumfries for Easter weekend. Bet it'll rain, it'll be nice to get away anyway.

Still broody here. I think about baby no.2 every day!

Maybe you'll be the first to conceive again top . 14 month age gap between my first two. The short age gap is great now that they are older damn hard work for the first four years though

Well I thought about what I posted this morning - and then went and joined Weight Watchers. I don't want to hit 30 in the summer and feel 'meh' about my weight. Plus then I can ask for clothes as birthday presents! 18 pounds to go!

Just to say about all the ladies feeling 'old' (which you're not) there was a lady in my RL post-natal group who had been trying to conceive for 25 YEARS and finally got lucky last year even though she's not far off 50. She had long since given up hope of having a baby and then it just happened. So you might be surprised how long you can carry on TTC for (although obviously it's riskier as you get older).

A family friend of ours had her first daughter aged 42 and her second aged 45. It's not always too late.

25 years?! Wow. That's incredible.

All this talk of weight loss...I must fess up and say that I actually have the opposite problem. I weigh less now than before i was pregnant and if I'm being honest I've been struggling to keep my weight up. I've always been fairly slim anyway and then I think breastfeeding has just been sucking the life out of me! I really need to go and buy some new jeans because they keep falling down all the time .

I read somewhere that your thyroid can be affected by pregnancy, has anyone ever heard of this? I guess I'd have to be losing weight to really have a problem but I do wonder because I eat so much and just stay around the same weight.

I appreciate this is not the norm, and I actually find it really hard to join in these conversations at baby groups. There's usually someone going on about how they 'hate those people who just lose all the baby weight straight away'. I always feel massively awkward and then busy myself with DS at this point.

Over 40 = too many health risks for both mother and baby as far as I am concerned.

Whether you are able to conceive is totally is a different question.

Why risk the family I have?

Well. I am a total chunk. Weigh less than I did before b came but more than I did before I got pg. The 5:2 worked for me. I am contemplating starting it again but going dinner-dinner so no breakfast and a 500cal lunch and then a normal supper. We walk into town every day so,getting exercise just not as hardcore as pre pg. feel v down about it. Well meaning mil regularly tells me how fat I am (in nicer words)

Honey, I generally had that problem before I got pregnant as diet talk seems to be an office staple. I've not had weight to loose before and appreciate its freaking awkward as you either join in and that annoys others or you end up isolating yourself to be polite. If I'm honest, I think that diet talk can be quiet rude if you don't consider who is present from both sides of the coin.

If I'm honest, I have weight to loose but I have absolutely no intention of 'dieting' as such. Its about cutting out the snacks and the ten tonnes of chocolate I've been getting through for me. (DH said I'd got through £20 in a week a few weeks back which was a bit of a wake up call as I hadn't realised. ). Given my weight has been stable, I suspect I'll loose the rest fairly quickly when I knock it on the head. It has gone massively out of control though I suspect until lately, it has been partly needed as I was constantly ravenous and that seems to be passing.

I'm lucky, but I generally am pretty strict on eating portions appropriate for my size rather than eating the same amount as everyone else and not going crazy on the snacking. It all went to pot with morning sickness so I need to get back into good habits rather than anything.

Its just as well as I'm a lazy fucker when it comes to exercise.

Haha Fate I can imagine how hard it would be with a small age gap. Im going to wait until I've done 1 academic year at work again them see how I feel. So Jessica will be 2 by then. Hubby is quite keen on no 2 soon but he is fine with waiting as long as I want to though.

I need to lose a stone. I can't seem to stop eating cake and chocolate though!

Misog, are you still around?

Weight- I have a stone to lose and I am hating it cause it is all concentrated in my tummy area- honestly, how some of you have lost the bump completely? I know you have cause my pre/post natal yoga classmate and my nct group have!

Honey- I too would have said the "hate" word; honestly, how do you manage it? I would have loved to be like you, very jealous.

Clothes- I just don't know what to do; I refuse buying any new clothes for "the big me" cause I keep telling myself this is not me, I am going to lose the weight and get into my old clothes; but having started to work I am really struggling with work clothes

Schools- Fate, that's even more confusing for me. So you may be allowed to delay primary by one year; presumably my child will then continue education year by year like any other child; at what point is he going to lose a year then? After primary , is the secondary school going to say despite just finishing primary, as your age is xxxx you have to start in our second year??!? That's just completely ridiculous to be honest and extremely dysfunctional.

Second baby-
Oh my world... I always thought either no baby or two babies; I left it for too long for the first for many reasons... I will be 38 in a few days, so if when ds is 4 years I'd like another one, then I would be 41. The age does not scare me though. I am completely healthy for my age and so far as the risk to baby is concerned there are now genetic tests available that can be done easily with quite high accuracy. I admit I haven't done enough research around the subject but just from what I read/heard during pregnancy I am not concerned about the risk... Maybe I should?

What concerns me more, is if I can do everything again. At this moment I seriously doubt that. While nothing makes me more happy than ds, it has been really really hard work; and it has been extremely hard in the first two months

Apart from being very sensitive to unknown, ds right now is a total and absolute joy ; a very happy smily giggly baby, a bit chubby and in love with food, very little bother, can self settle during the day (night is still another story) and generally the best thing I could ever want.

But having said all that, this having a baby and starting a family thing was a lot harder and more involved than I thought. I always knew being responsible for somebody else is going to be extremely difficult, and that was my main concern when deciding if we wanted s child; but now that it happened, I feel it is even harder than what I imagined.

I created another person who is totally dependant on me for his emotional and physical wellbeing.... And my smallest decisions may make a big impact on him....

Can I ever do the same again? I doubt that.

My mum always say I overthink it; I disagree with her...

It's honeslty not anything I've done, I must just be incredibly lucky. When I was pregnant I didn't really gain size anywhere except boobs and bump and everyone said I would lose it all quickly and I just didn't believe them but sure enough it happened. The midwife told me off for wearing jeans two weeks post partum because of my stitches. They were my pre pregnancy jeans!

It has its down sides, I was very ill just after having ds as I was so weak and trying to breastfeed. I really struggled with anaemia to so that on top of rapid weight loss added up to me being a bit of a wreck. The midwives were instructing a high calorie diet and eating round the clock. I was taking food to bed with me to eat through the night and drinking whole milk like it was going out of fashion!

I do feel for everyone that struggles. My DH is a yoyo dieter and has struggled with his weight for a long time. Having me as a wife certainly has not helped!

honey I was like you after I had my twins. I put on 3 stone, all bump and boobs, then by the time they were 4 weeks old I was back to normal. After
J was a bit different, but I knew it would be as I really gorged all pregnancy and put on 4 stone. It took 5 months to lose it - but it's all gone now and perhaps a little more, and I don't really look like I had a baby 6 months ago.

My issue, is when people say "oh you're so lucky, your weight's all gone". Because this time round, luck has had nothing to do with it...I've changed my diet completely so I don't eat anything processed (except on Saturdays ), I walk every day and I do a HIIT workout at home 5 times a week ! It's not been easy and required real motivation. I did come off the diet over Xmas, which must have kickstarted my metabolism, because when I got strict again, the last bit of weight literally dropped off and my body found it's old shape again.

I think I'm lucky in that I have real control issues with food, so getting in the zone with diet and exercise is pretty easy. But sometimes I just want a teensy bit of credit for the effort I've put in, rather than the dismissive "lucky you".

That's just completely ridiculous to be honest and extremely dysfunctional.

It really, really is Naz. And very confusing too.

The norm for England is to start school in Foundation Stage 2 (F2) in the September before a child turns 5. So this will be when your August born son has only just turned 4 years old, in Sept 2018. Full time education is split thus:

Early Years:

• Foundation Stage 2 (which is the first year of full time school)

Key Stage 1 (used to be called infants):

• Year 1
• Year 2

Key Stage 2 (used to be called juniors)

• Year 3
• Year 4
• Year 5
• Year 6

Key Stage 3 (this is the move into secondary school)

• Year 7
• Year 8
• Year 9

Key Stage 4 (this is GCSE or equivalent courses)

• Year 10
• Year 11

The norm and expectation would be that all children start F2 in September but in actual fact you are not legally obliged to make your child start school until they are 5, so you could delay starting until Sept 2019. However everyone who would have been in the same school year as your son will have completed F2 by then and have moved into Year 1.

The legal right to wait until aged 5 to start school, you would expect means a child starts at the beginning, in F2, when they start late. But they don't, they move straight into Year 1 and miss F2 completely.

A recent change in policy now means that children can delay start (as they've always been able to) and also start in F2, not Year 1. But Local Authorities don't like this and you may have a battle to make it happen. But it is theoretically a right.

Then even after all of this battle, whilst you have a right to wait for your child to start full time schooling until aged 5, you do not have the same right at the other end of primary school. Year 7 is a set age and parents are legally required to ensure their child starts secondary education at that age regardless of what age or year group s/he started school.

Complicated? God yes, it's an awful policy. I'm not entirely sure how home education fits in with all of this either, which is a whole other added complication.

Well from me jaykay, well done . To have that much determination with a baby I really admire you, so I genuinely mean it. When people say 'lucky you', tell them! I would.

I've totally forgotten what exercise is

Thanks honey...honestly wasn't fishing for praise on here...just having a minor rant !

I should shut up really, I'm where I wanted to be body-wise, and feeling really healthy too. I guess people are just trying to be nice, it's just a bit frustrating sometimes !!

Jay you're my hero! I loved exercise prior to having dd, and was still running until 2 weeks before she was born, but have done nothing beyond walking the dog since. Do you feel good for doing it? When do you fit it in? I'm finding time the main barrier.

honey I think we may be actual twins as well as style twins, because I've also lost loads of weight and been wondering about some sort of thyroid condition triggered by pregnancy/breastfeeding. I guess the other explanation is just that I used to have a desk job and am now up and down and on my feet all day. My DH is also a MASSIVE yoyo dieter and dreadful with portion control and I've been eating what he has since having dd but just keep losing weight. TBH (and I'm not complaining, I know I'm lucky!) I'd like to put on some muscle/fat as I'm starting to look and feel a bit frail. Also when I asked the doctor for contraception they asked if I had any 'problems with food'!

Thank you all for tips/ideas about where to shop in your thirties. I made the mistake of 'reading' the ASOS magazine this week and it was HORRENDOUS - all fluffy pink 90s-style jackets and cuddly toy rucksacks - there's just no way I can start dressing like I did as a 14-year-old!

Nazly I am with you on everything being even harder than I imagined with dd, and I'd mentally prepared myself for having a baby being 'the hardest thing' I'd ever do. My mum and sister keep saying I'll change my mind in future and want another, but although I love dd to bits, being realistic I just can't imagine being able to do it all over again with a toddler in tow.

apples I used to be a runner too ! Although when I got with my DP, it fell by the wayside and I started cycling with him instead. I gave up cycling when I found out I was pregnant because I'm a bit dangerous on a bike . I did no exercise when pregnant at all !
Time-wise I am in a little routine...DP gets up at 5 am for work and inevitably wakes J up. So I give J a bottle, and then put him down to sleep again - then get up and do a workout before the older kids wake-up. Some mornings it's a drag, but I feel so much better after.
Every day, I take J for a walk. I love walking with a pushchair...and J loves nosing around whilst we are out. I walk everywhere...shopping centre, town, to see my family etc. Everything I need to get to is at least a mile away and requires hill walking.
Recently I have really been thinking about running again. My diet is actually healthier than it was when I was last into running (i used to be a meal skipper/crisp binger), so I am interested to see how I would be picking it up again.
I have turned into a bit of a health bore (can't you tell )...but am definitely feeling energetic for someone who gets about 5 hours broken sleep per night.

apples I did think that lifestyle has something to do with it as well. I too used to sit at a desk on a full time basis and now I don't stop! I'm almost looking forward to sitting in one place for at least an hour when I get back to work lol. Sounds like we have lots in common.

I love walking to but I live in a village which is quite small and I can do a loop of it in about half hour, so I often end up doing it twice! I can't really get anywhere by walking so tend to drive. I did love walking with my pushchair until I discovered baby carriers and now I tend to use that where possible. It makes life easier not having the buggy, and if I'm being very honest I just like the snuggles it creates! DS is getting pretty big now though so I'll have to switch to back carrys soon which Im not so keen on. the straps make me look like a frumpy hiker

Argh! I was so looking forward to the clocks changing. A 6am start sounds so much better than a 5am start. Somehow DD has managed to shift her body clock with the changing clocks

Another one still in the leggings and baggy top uniform. I think I just need a complete new wardrobe though as my shape has changed so much. I was pear shaped with a flat tummy, so all if my pre-pregnancy tops are tight. They don't look so great with my newly acquired baggy tummy On a positive note, I now seem a little more evenly distributed between my top and bottom halves. But between those two changes to my figure I think I might need to look into differently cut clothes than I used to wear. I've still got about 10 lb to shift, so I don't want to spend too much on new clothes, but I'm constantly feeling like a baggy frump and it is starting to get to me.

DD is doing much better with eating. She still isn't too keen on veg, but if I mix some fruit in she does have it. I'm going to slowly shift the balance to more veg and less fruit. She is having three meals a day and has dropped one daytime bottle. Just wish she'd drop a night time bottle!

Think I need to take her to a doctors today as she was coughing loads through the night and her chest sounds a bit rattley. No temperature and she seems quite happy in herself though. I'm just not quite happy with it, especially with the long weekend coming up.

Anyone have any exciting Easter plans?