March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

Good grief! did you get an apology?

We've had one accident so far but then he's only done one wee since we got up at 6. Turns out he has a bladder like a camel. And is currently putting dinosaur stickers all over the potty in a lame attempt to get him interested in it.

How's the potty progressing, Plonk?

Fartypants slept for an hour at nursery! . And we couldn't go to see my dad afterwards because he'd taken my mum to a genetic counselling appointment. She has a new diagnosis, to be confirmed with blood tests, and if they're right I can be tested too.

That's big news stormy. How do you feel about the idea of getting tested?

Plonky DHs flawed logic was the guests would help with the toddle which would give us both a break!

Surely the best way for the guests to help would have been cooking their own lunch? Or maybe most of them could have cooked while one took you to see a doctor.

Testing sounds good to me. I'm already operating on the principle that I've probably got it, so it'll either confirm that, or it'll be a massive relief. And what about Fartypants? It affects her family planning too. Much to think about.

It's a sore point Stormy. They were all sh*ts in my opinion. Not one person offered to help. In fact DH went all whiney when I wanted to cancel. Apparently I'm always ill, and I always cancel everything. I'm not and I don't. He thinks I'm making it up, and also doesn't give me time to recover. Next week he is spending either in London or at the hotel. That leaves my mum (who is 70) and me doing everything, and probably getting no sleep. I'm seeing flashes of the 'old' DH in all of this. My tolerance for that person is extremely low.

I hope your mum's appointment gives some answers. Really glad you have a plan regarding your own position.

I presume you'll be speaking to him about this soon. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that this reversion is just a temporary blip. And if it isn't, this place should have taught you some marvellous insults to throw at him.

Gah, oven finished, must dash!

worse I must admit to being a bit horrified by you DH behaviour and also in awe at your strength. Cooking lunch for 8 with toddler and baby would bbe beyond me even at 100 per cent good health. Sounds like you guys need to have a good chat about priorities so you can get your health back in order.

plonky how did day one of potty training goo? Camel bladder sounds great - much easier process once they can hold on for longer.m

stormy I can't imagine having toddle free time in the day time with nothing to do - that much to bliss. I guess the nursery time opens up. The possibility of work for you now which must be very exciting!

Stormy the screening sounds really good. Daunting obviously, but in a worst case scenario at least you can prepare FP. Shit that you have to be dealing with it in the first place though.

Worse I read your post with this face. I hope you can work this out, that he realises there is something requiring work in the first place. Any chance of him splitting next week between work and home? Tbh he sounds a bit like my dad, when my mum had tonsillitis the Christmas after my grandad died, dsis and I were away and he made her cook Christmas dinner - and invited his brother over. Not on the same scaLe at all, and he got an earfull from dsis and I.
so yes please do as Stormy says and flick his forehead.

Rainbow I don't have the heart for cold turkey pants wearing. You must have so much patience! I had several pantry moments today, felt like an awful parent with my woefully inadequate approach to everything and decided to slow things right down. So its nappies out of the house and as much nappy off time indoors as we can stand. Phew.

Dsis had an early scan today and all looks good! And DH has had a promotion. I could do with a bloody enormous rollie and a pint of real ale but instead I'll bake do with water

Well, it opens up the possibility to work eight limited hours, so realistically not that much use. But makes the whole idea seek more feasible (and also gives time to actually jobhunt). I did find Stuff To Do yesterday though. I degunked the overflow on the kitchen sink. And then I pulled half a headful of hair out of the plug in the bath. It was grim.

Oo, crosspost. Well done Mr Plonk, and fantastic news on the scan!

I figure there are four options here:

1. Don't test, negative = spend the next thirty years fretting and symptom-spotting
2. Don't test, positive = spend an unspecified number of years fretting and symptom-spotting before being diagnosed and being basically fucked in thirty years
3. Test, positive = as 2. but with a bit less fretting and a bit more getting on with it. Added bonus: FP is able to make informed decisions re: family planning in future
4. Test, negative = finally stop fretting and get on with life.

If anyone has any thoughts, please do throw them out there.

Stormy it is a really hard decision but also a very personal one. If it were me I'd want to know. I don't deal well with uncertainty, I like to feel some level of control so that I can plan. My friend is the opposite. Her mum and sister have both had breast cancer and carry the gene. She has declined testing.

I haven't had words with DH. Two reasons. 1 he is doing literally everything he can, including all night feeds. It seems petty to pull him up (and I get the impression he's feeling pretty bad about it). 2 I haven't the strength for a big debate. Now isn't the time.

In all things marriage I have a policy. I judge him on his actions not his words. He was a shit - he appears to have 'got' this now and is trying very hard to make amends. Plus he's just told me he has put in a request at the nursery for a sitter for the toddle on the days he will be away next week. He's doing his best.

My bast*rd radar is a finely tuned instrument though. If old DH comes back he ships out.

Plonky fantastic news on both fronts. Pour yourself a big old glass of, I don't know... grape juice to celebrate

Camel bladder made me laugh. I had one of those. Apparently there was a peeing at the side of the road incident on a long journey where my mum ended up trying to keep her feet away from what was described as a small lake I was strangely proud of this achievement

Only one fever/shakes today. I'm almost well. It is nice not to be 'dying'! There was a point where I nearly wrote the dcs a 'mummy loves you' letter. Seriously. It's been a proper scary experience.

Hello. Sure been playing up for days so couldn't get on and look what I miss . Worse glad you're on the mend but at dh. Pleased he's getting his shit together now because he needs to on the back of that little escapade.

We have no pants and no intention of trying pants for a while. We sit on the potty for about a nanosecond and cuddle it. The latter has yet to be discouraged as it's never been used for its supposed purpose.

I have done my own gel nails manicure tonight in honour of spring - go me on my self care. I even imacced my legs this week. Radical. Oh, and it seems I bought all the dresses. dh and I are even going out tomorrow night to a gig. It's almost like I have a life!

So happy for your sister plonk.

And go shattered! Made it to mat leave! Enjoy this bit .

Hi Betty and Eco and rainbow and yummy (good news on the job front by the sounds of things).

And Stormy, tricky one. Think I might rather know but equally it's only a guide. Even if you have the gene presumably it might not develop? Still, see whether this new diagnosis comes through and how you feel then.

On phone and brain fried do can't remember more. Sorry if I've missed anyone.

Mwah! Happy overfamiliar Friday you sexy bastards!

Sure = site.

I absolutely hate this phone. I just did a massive post and accidentally pressed one corner of the screen and it went poof.

Worse it does sound mine DH is really trying. The babysitter is a lovely gesture so you get rest and 1:1 time with Babax. I'm amazed you've remained so balanced throughout this ordeal!

Wotta sometimes you've just got to buy all the dresses. I should know. I also have all the dresses.

Stormy I think finding out definitely has its benefits versus thirty years wondering what if. But presumably you don't actually have to decide right now, the offer of the screening won't disappear if you can't decide immediately.

Ds now definitely associates his potty with the right things. This morning while in a nappy he said wee, was clearly weeing and tried pulling the nappy off. He then sat on the potty (fully clothed...) and did a poo. So we'be relaxed our approach but it seems the groundwork may already be laid. We shall see! I now actually wish I'd waited a bit longer, but I really don't fancy chasing him round with the potty in the summer heat when I have a big bump.

Morning all. What's happening in all your worlds today?

Here I am dancing a small jig. Only one fever yesterday, none last night and Babax slept from 11 until 6am I will gloss over the fact the toddle woke at 1am. In comparison to recent times this feels like the best day ever.

Challenge for next month- getting my gp to refer me for diastasis surgery. Both the midwife and the physio have told me it is the only solution. She however begs to differ. I should change gp shouldn't I? I seem to have a spectacularly crap one.

Fingers crossed for a nice day. When DH turns his back I'm escaping outside for half an hour. He's still convinced fresh air will kill me

No! Fresh air good! Cooped up bad! You go outside of that's what you want to do. Also can i be a bit cheeky and ask how he expects you to cope for the week in your own if you can't go outside?
Your Dr sounds absolutely shocking Worse, definitely get a second opinion. Out of interest, what did she suggest as a remedy for torn abdominal muscles?
congrats on Babax's excellent sleep. If there's one benefit to formula it's sleep. Hope things continue to be on the up.

Today we are being very exciting and going to a garden centre. Having dug up the entire garden and planted half with grass seed it's now time to get some veggies in.
I have the itchiest boobs ever. Am slathering on Nivea like my life depends on it. Must have been really scratching in my sleep, as I've woken up with big red claw marks all over my chest. Anyone else get this? I didn't have it last time and it's driving me demented. Not to mention how it must look in public.

worse I will join you in dancing that jig because I am happy you are getting better. Go Babax for that amazing sleep. Put changing gp on the top of your to do list. Sometimes gp's should admit they are not specialist in a particular area and trust their other health colleagues.

plonky I'm hoping for sun down your way just so you can wash the mountain of washing you may have with the potty training.

Am I the only one in feeling so cold? Where has the sun gone? I have a mystery for you my TSH levels have gone from 5.14 to 2.5. Have no idea what that is all about. Gp said my thyroid levels are normal and case closed.

Not sure what the plan is for today.

plonky I never had this and have never heard anyone else have it too. Saying that hormones can make our body do anything so it could be normal. Not sure.

Just popping in quickly from holiday to wave and say hi!

Worse I think you may find that it's not available on the NHS and that's where your GPs opinion is coming from but you could do with her just being honest about that. I know it wouldn't be funded in our area as although it can cause long term back pain and the associated morbidity from that it is still considered to be a cosmetic procedure. It may not be fair but it's a postcode lottery for some of these things.

Ah well, looks like I have two choices... 1. go private, or 2. hit the NHS for my inevitable hernia/diastasis operation in the near future, as there is nothing cosmetic about a hernia.

Bit of a milk related success this evening. The toddle drank her milk from a beaker without so much as raising an eyebrow about it. Given she used to raise the roof over the mere suggestion this is major news. I have ceremoniously binned her rather manky old bottle, only 18 months behind the 'official' cut off .

On the milk front I have a couple of questions for the bf-ing experts among you. Given I'm feeling much better I'd like to start trying to get my milk supply back. The drugs have cut it to about 50%. Ball park how often and for how long would I need to pump to achieve this? I've another weeks worth of poison to take so obviously won't be able to ramp up like a normal person, but I'd like to start! Also, any idea how long after I've stopped taking the drugs will my milk be safe? Couple of days?

Can't help in detail worse, though starting to pump in line with usual feeding times if you have them would be a start. Just thought I'd mention my success with fenugreek as a boost for supply if you wanted to give things a helping hand. You need to take a lot, I was on 9-12 pills a day, but it did really help. Given you have established good supply in the past if you could just get productive and let babax take the strain of keeping you there it would prob work. No idea when you'd be safe though, maybe Betty might?

Wotta thanks, that's helpful. I had no idea fenugreek had any use other than culinary.

Plonky itchy boobs you say? Nope, not me. I had an itchy bump, but that was because the skin had to stretch to about a billion times its original size. Maybe your boobs are going the same way.... .

Severe itching in pregnancy can be obstetric cholestasis, but that's Betty's domain.

Yummy very odd results. No idea what that's about unless the lab really messed up. No idea what to recommend. It's so annoying when there isn't an answer

worse I suggest lots and lots of skin to skin time with babax - carry him in just nappy in sling next to your skin if you need hands free or better still share baths with him and feed in bath once you can again. Aside from thhat regular pumping as often as you can to start with (I wouldn't stick to just feeding times at the beginning, eating oatmeal and fenugreek. I would highly recommend the Kellymom website for advice on boosting supply and relactation - loads of great info there plus links to other useful resources.

worse I should add that you shouldn't necessarily get too focused on judging your supply by what you can pump - for many women babies get a lot more out by suckling han they can pump especially as there is no substitute for the oxytocin release you get when feeding over pumping.

How long of a break have you had Worse? It might be relatively straightforward (she guesses). I bet the Internet is brimming with stories of mums who've had brief breaks from BFing due to illness and successfully bfed again. Hope you get to feed your boy in the way you want again.

I didn't have an itchy bump lady time until right near the end, but i was obsessed with moisturising it. I guess I'll have to take the same approach with the girls. They are seriously massive now (I think I'm a FF!! ) but have slowed down so it may be time to treat myself. Nowhere else itches and it's not constant so presume just blood flow and hormones.

I'll stop posting about my boobs now. Promise.

Rainbow I think I'm going to need your advice on tap come November!

yummy excuse ignorance, I've no idea what those numbers mean - does it mean you're within normal range now? Do you think the diet could have had an effect? You mentioned you felt better, just wondered if they're connected.

Potty training with the aim of being day dry asap has ceased. He's just not ready. We're going softly softly catchy monkey instead. He's telling me when he's doing various nappy shenanigans but won't go on the potty, and is quite happy in nappies. I'm glad we tried because now I know where we stand. He's aware pants exist now too. Thank goodness we didn't press on as the weather here has been miserable!