March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

Aside from cold intolerance and constipation I tick all of those. Hmmm.

Nursery days should work well. The man's just got a job working Thursday Friday Saturday, and two of those are nursery days, so it should take some of the pressure off me, because those three working days he won't see FP at all. And on solo days if they go well it's grand, but if they don't I have been known to turn into snappy and sarcastic mummy, which is no fun for anyone.

Thank you so much worse. If you were next to me I would give you a hug and a peck on the cheek. I will definitely be more persistent with doctors. I just don't want to get fobbed off. I thought with my healthy eating I would feel better in myself but I feel the same. I experience a lot of the symptoms above and sometimes I feel so tired and weak I want to cry.

wotta I want to give you a big hug too. You have done the right thing by going to your gp. Perhaps you may need time off from work a bit, it may help your mood.

stormy nursery days when I am not at work are the best days. You will feel a bit sad and guilty at the beginning but you will get used to it. She and you will grow to love nursery days.

Well done for taking that step Wotta. It's a scary one but even just taking to a nice doctor I the first place can really help validate your feelings and make you feel a bit more normal. In my experience anyway. Do you have any annual leave you could take, maybe just have some time for yourself? Me and Eco are pretty good at feeling down and not talking about it enough, so if you want to chat you know where we are.

Worse that list of symptoms looks utterly miserable :( Yummy I hope you get the right diagnosis and meds. You're only a spring chicken, you shouldn't feel like that. In my experience dietary changes take a couple of weeks to have an impact on how you feel other than weight loss, but you're definitely doing the right thing.

Stormy sometimes I finish my work early in the week and just swan about while DS is at nursery. This is balanced by sometimes having to work eight hours over the weekend as well as my weekdays, but the light weeks are amazing. Today I tidied the whole house and rearranged DS' room because I finished at lunch time. Trust me, if she settles well at nursery (and she will) then you won't look back. DS will still be going to nursery for a few afternoons a week once Bungle arrives!

Dh was supposed to be back by now but his bloody plane has been cancelled. So he's drinking beer and eating chocolate for a third night. I've got a belly full of gnocchi and wondering if it's too early to curl up with a book... After all he'll be here tomorrow and farting and talking at me and probably doing things on his playstation thingamy.

Bungle plonk ! love it. Make the most of your last night to yourself- do what you want. Are you crying over master chef yet??!

yummy that is def high. 4 is the upper limit of normal where I am. Would be useful to know your other results too. Also even a 'normal' iron can be very low so do go back to your GP and have another talk. Good luck.

worse how are you? One thing that stuck out from one of your posts was you having to get up at 5 on nursery days that would he exhausting by itself. Can the nanny get the toddle up? Or could she do the odd afternoon or sthg ? Hope you start to get more rest. Out of interest how much talking did you do about babax to the worselet before he arrived? We talk about 'mummy's baby' and he knows that he/she is in my tummy but really I think it's going to be a big shock..,sure plonk and I would appreciate any tips

wotta how are you? Do you know what is going on? I have to say my life feels absolutely non stop recently and I only work 3 days a week. Could you get more 'me' time either by cutting down work or getting eg a cleaner etc? Hope you start to feel better soon. Look up 'mindfulness' as well, see if you think it would be useful for you.
Hope everyone else well . I'm going to give out some as I've just discovered there's a new emoticon!! So to everyone who needs one.

Oh I knew I'd forget something. rainbow I spoke to a very helpful lactation consultant when DS went on a nursing strike. Unfortunately that was the end of BF for us but she did give us lots of tips to try so I appreciated that

Shattered I didn't do a lot of talking about Babax to be honest, as the toddle was a bit young to really understand. What she did understand was my stomach was funny looking, so I let her pull my top up and rub it as much as she wanted (well, within reason and the bounds of decency anyway ), and told her there was a baby in there. Something obviously sunk in as she started saying 'baby' when she rubbed it. Now she pulls down my top, peers at my boobs and says 'baby', or more amusingly Babax's name on the occasions they start leaking milk everywhere. So big bellies and boobs are all baby related to her, and milk belongs to her little brother. Don't you just love toddlers!

Wotta you poor thing . I hope the gp is able to help. Life can be pretty overwhelming when you are juggling toddler care, work and moving house. There just aren't enough hours in the day to have time for yourself, and you probably need a bit of that. Any way you could get some me time?

Shattered yes, nursery days are tough, but the nanny being technically a maternity nurse does baby not toddler duties. She's actually fairly flexible as maternity nurses go, and will take both for short periods to allow me to grab some food or a shower, but doesn't stretch to getting the toddle up in the morning or putting her to bed. I wish she would. It would be so much more relaxed if she did bed time while I fed Babax, rather than me rushing about trying to do both, but her preferred approach is for me to express and her to feed. I like feeding him though. It's my bonding time, and I'll not give it up without a fight!

Status update on the hives - every day they get a little better. Yay!!! Today I was itchy by 2pm, but itchy in the way you are with a handful of mosquito bites, not itchy to the point of wanting to chop my hand off.

Wotta my phone has five per cent battery so forgive my brevity. I wanted to come on and dole out hugs to you. You never moan about it but appear to have an extraordinarily hectic life with lots on your plate. That feeling of being overwhelmed and tearful sounds familiar......but not post baby. A few years pre baby I felt as you describe and I headed to doc. I don't know what I was expecting them to do really but it helped to crystallise my thinking so much. I had an excellent gp though. I know it sounds spoiled brattish to say this but even without a child to care for working five days a week in a responsible, busy job was just not the right balance for me. I stepped away from work a little and went down to a four day week (local government loved that....it fitted right in with austerity). I had Fridays to do 'all the stuff'....plan food, shop, pay bills, clean up, do the washing and then I had the weekend to enjoy. That made the world of difference to me. I can only imagine how a stressful full time job would feel on top of being a mother. Hats off to you lady. But listen to your body now and take stock. Figure out which thing in life needs to alter. We're all here to support!

Thanks guys. What a lovely bunch you are. I've had a truly crap couple of weeks. I really can't go into it on here as it would out nerves more than i normally do, but safe to say that in many ways how I feel is a reasonable response to life at the minute. Having said that, I have never had a day when I couldn't stop crying at work and that scared me and has left my eyes wrecked this morning

I am exhausted. It's the end of the tax year and we have 2 additional projects on which are taking a lot of extra time. I am working until 8pm and gone 3-4 days a week at the mo and some weekends. There is heavy duty emotional shit happening in my personal life and I feel like I'm not supporting anyone very well.

Some time off would be great but would also mean I would 'fail' to meet a key deadline - it would have to be picked up by colleagues who are also very stretched by current situation. But as I cried at my boss yesterday I have some help heading my way anyway.

I'm a coper! Hate running out of cope.

Out me not nerves...

Oh Wotta. I'm not exactly the professional guru of the bunch but I do know this : it's just work, and life goes on. I know it's not considered good form to have meltdowns at work but in my experience they only happen when it feels like there's absolutely no way of holding everything in. I hope your boss listened to you and delivers the help you deserve. You're obviously hardworking and conscientious so please don't feel like you've failed at work. If sounds like you need a bloody break love.

wotta I felt like you a couple of months before Christmas. I was a mess and the lovely Marchers helped me see that work is work. You and your family are much more important. No one will bat an eyelid if you was to be on sick leave they just get other people to do the work and life goes on for work. Some work places are better than others with supporting their employees. Hope you get the support you need.

Hugs Wotta. If you want to rant about how crap everything is right now, our FB page is marvellously anonymous. And I'm going to join you on the "isn't this shit?" bench, because it's a nicer bench when you're not the only person on it, and because I'm feeling full of gloom and despair a bit crap too.

On the plus side, I looked at the sun yet I still have retinas. Huzzah!

Wotta you poor thing. My absolute best advice is that you need some time off. The same happened to me a few years ago, a long time pre-madam, and for no apparent reason for me not you life just suddenly because overwhelming. I had a complete snotty breakdown at work one day and got a good talking to from one of the consultants. I too am a coper and hate the idea of letting anyone down but I've never forgotten what he told me. He said you are fantastic but nowhere near as vital here as you may think, you're just one cog in a very big wheel. You going off might mean the other cogs need to pull a bit closer or turn a bit faster but it's temporary and the department will cope without you. He's very right because it's a hell of a lot easier for those around you to just take over everything in the short term than worry you're not working to capacity long term and you damaging your health along the way.

Oh and Stormy, I did indeed wave and would love to have come and said hi but was on a strict timetable of my annual appraisal, dropping some stuff on labour ward and dashing home for an appointment. I do so hate the M62.

Shall we kick off the weekend with a "who's got the most teeth?" competition? Inspired by idle curiosity and also Fartypants now having nineteen.

I'm sorry so many of you are having rubbish weeks or fortnights or feelings. As I'm on my phone, nursing a flu-ey headache, I can't scroll back and see what's what so good vibes and hugs to all of you, and I hope these moments pass quickly.

DS has been blessing me with good sleep this week. He's been waking up before he's ready with coughing or full nappies, and whenever I go in to get him out of bed, he keeps his eyes closed and says "no no no, mummy"

And stormy after being stuck on 16 since he was 8 months old, we had the last 4 break through this week.

Now, I must away back into my flued up ball of pjs and toddler snuggles! Happy weekend all.

Those last four molars seem to necessitate the wearing of extra crotchety pants. Impressive work ToddleSome on maintaining sixteen teeth for so long!

I have a terrible confession.... I haven't bothered to count the toddle's teeth since she exceeded four. At a guess she has all but the very back molars, and based on her recent uncharacteristic bad mood those are on their way. Past three days she hasn't napped, has woken in the night and despite an obvious sleep deficit has got up at 6am, all of which say 'teeth'. As does the fact calpol cheers her up no end. I mean, she likes calpol and everything, but I'm thinking there is more to it than that.

Something oh of course, Toddlesome was the one with a full set of knashers when the rest of the crew were cutting their first incisors. I remember now!

Tonight is going to be interesting as one of the lads opposite is having a 16th birthday party. His mum came round to warn me earlier, which was really very sweet of her given she had to a) get past the dogs, who are over enthusiastic in their welcome, and b) inform an already sleep deprived mother of two tinies that she'd be getting no sleep tonight. I didn't bite her. Nor did the dogs. I was tempted . So far the music is bearable, but the screeching is not. Do all teenage girls screech? I'm sure I didn't. Is it a 'thing' that oldies don't get ?

Wotta hugs. Ugh, year end. Double ugh, tax year end. I remember the 18 hour days and insane pressure to triple your work load over night for no extra pay. Sucked. That on top of everything else would be enough to tip the hardiest person over. Hugs. I hope your boss is providing proper support.

Question, how would the rest of you approach the situation where the toddle wakes at the same time the tiny requires a feed, when you have been up half the night so probably aren't firing on all cylinders? I ask, because that was the situation this morning. Today it was fine because the nanny washed and changed the tiny to give me time to wash and dress the toddle, so that both neither had to wait too long for breakfast. In future it will be harder as in a few weeks I'll be flying solo, as DH will still be working away each week. Scared? You betcha.

That's an interesting conundrum Worse. personally I'm of the view that small people don't require as much washing as we'd like to enforce, so I'd relax on that front (poonamis notwithstanding obvs). and I'd was the toddle at tea time. If the tiny one requires a dunk while she's up I would drag her into the bathroom with ipad/toys/books and leave her for the whole ten mins it takes to dunk tiny and benappy him. Any chance of mastering feeds in a sling? It looks so practical but a bit pipedreamy.
Speaking of, how are the hives? I'd they're still atthe acne stage you could sneak over to the party and stealthily unplug the stereo. Noone would suspect a thing.

DS has sixteen teeth. Stormy I'm completely blaming you for the bite marks on my pointy finger.

Something are you all flustricken or is it just you? Either way hope you get well soon. You've not got time to be ill, you've got a wedding to plan!

Wotta hope you're ok x

I feel like a bag o shite today. We went out for lunch and I didn't even brush my hair, and I bought a tent shaped dress so I can let it all hang out. Have felt great all week, except masterchef tears, then today it's been like walking through treacle. I blame DH because I was coping beautifully and then he came back, the swine. He did bring pralines though.

Worse, I'm with Plonk. DS has only ever been bathed at night except for the most explosive occasions which needed a hose shower anyway. And we're big on a nappy change but staying in pjs for breakfast on non nursery days (that way it doesn't matter so much where the porridge goes). That means proper dressed toddle after breakfast or first nap - so maybe during Babax's first nap? And re dressing Babax - at this age DS lived in babygros all the time. One way or another they got changed plenty so I didn't add to the laundry further by declaring an arbitrary morning change except for weddings!
Turns out I'm a slattern. I still only wash his hair once a week unless there's a soup incident!

Sorry, forgot to deal with the feed question. Toddles can wait longer than tinies. I'd have a beaker of milk in the fridge which can be handed over, poss with a banana or similar while you feed tiny, then top up as required.

I too am a slattern. I do not wash my child first thing. Nor do I bother dressing her first thing. There's quite frankly zero point before weetabix. With two... I'd change pooey nappies first, then throw very simple breakfast at the toddle while milking the babax. Clean up, clean bums, and clothes for the toddle after. Leave the babax in his sleepsuit, you're allowed at this age so make the most of it! And plan ahead so you can work in a pantry break or two to recharge sanity.

We had screaming and needing cuddles and calpol at 2.20am. It's the bottom back molars, the top ones we didn't notice much.

I'm not that clean really.... my idea of 'wash' is a top and tail. Anything else is a bath, and Babax has only had two of those in his entire life . After the toddle's eczema experience as a baby I favour cream over water.

Same again this morning - 6am, both awake and crying. I fed Babax, with the toddle in the bed beside me, until the point at which she decided that was boring (10 minutes) when the nanny took her off my hands. I think you're all right. Downstairs in Pjs, Toddle in high chair with milk, Babax on boob TV on is the way forward.

Slightly envying DH his frequent trips away now as I'm exhausted. When he reappears and starts his usual lengthy whinge about how tired he is and how he couldn't sleep at the hotel, because he never can sleep in hotels, I may very well kill him!

We're all for breakfasts in pj's here too. Ds spends very little time in real clothes, as soon as we're home it's jogging bottoms and slippers. Worse I know you said you get up at silly o'clock on nursery days - is that so you can bath both kids? Or nursery mornings start pre 7 am but involve breakfast in the lounge with cartoons. I don't have a shower til nearly 8. We leave at 8.30ish and ds gets dressed about 10 mins before. It means it doesn't matter if he drips toothpaste or peanut butter down his top. I have to give him milk first thing or he has a meltdown, but everything else is quite fluid.

Embrace Cbeebies Worse! If the toddle doesn't love Postman Pat I'll eat my hat.