March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

Happy birthday beautiful toddlesomething. Another serious cake there something!

We had mil and latest beau visit today. Ecotod has had a lovely day and has a new scooter which is kind of interesting.....lots of skills required to ride those really when you think about it.

Just wanted to say a big thank you to you all for treading thoughtfully through mothers day, it's cheering to me that people do consider the breadth of feelings mothers day can bring about. It is a day where mothers are shoved in your face which naturally makes you want to foot stamp about wanting your own but that's through no one else's fault. It's just how things are. And on balance I've been more delighted to see revelling in love for mums and offspring than I have been sad about not having my own. If that makes any sense! Basically you're all lovely and I'm pleased that you've had nice days.

OK it's official, I cannot cope with this any more. My entire body is covered with intensely itching weals. I can't sleep. I'm ripping my skin off scratching. Even my eyes are affected. I've no idea what is causing this, so no idea how to stop it. I'm exhausted as it is, so spending precious hours when Babax is asleep awake is soul destroying. Feeling very sorry for myself right now, which is pathetic I know, but

What have you reacted to worse? Have you taken an anti histamine? Go and see the gp today you might need steroids. Hope you're ok

Well, having been up all night with nothing better to do than scratch and google I have discovered that this is a not uncommon reaction to bf-ing hormones. Figures, it flares up really badly with each feed. My entire body is scarlet and lumpy, and I look like I've been punched in both eyes. The itching is like some form of medieval torture, I'm in pieces. Hopefully the gp will be able to see me today as the only relief is anti-histamines. I think I may have to stop bf-ing. Apparently this won't go away, the best I can hope for is drugs will reduce the itching. I wanted to bf for at least 6 months, to give the poor little man some of my antibodies against the constant winter bugs he is catching.

Oh worse, I had this. Thankfully in my case it was exacerbated hugely by the domperidone I was taking to boost my rubbish milk supply so when I came off that it finally relaxed its hold. I was so grateful fenugreek worked without the same effects! I suffered with the classic under bump collection up to the birth and switched right into this. Grim. Antihistamines might work, there is at least one bf friendly one. I also found some relief from cooling / moisturising sprays. And sadly years of urticaria (hives) training me not to scratch. Cool showers or baths as heat always made mine worse, and sleeping under just a a sheet helped too. Hope gp can come up with something as it properly gets you down.

Oh that sucks worse. Hope your gp can sort you out some bf friendly antihistamines and get it under control.

And don't you worry about me struggling because I'm not really, and you've got more than enough on your plate! Belly is already beginning to pop out and I've spent many a small hour lying awake thinking. Wish I could talk to my sister about what's going through my mind but don't feel I can. Par for the course really!

Eco I think we have a nice group here. It's lovely to see people so respectful of others feelings innit brah.

How are you Worse? It sounds like a crappy thing to be contending with. I hope you can find a solution that stops the hives and enables you to keep feeding, if that's what you want. I hope gp was helpful and that you have an ease in your symptoms. Itching is a bitch. I say that as a lifetime eczema sufferer who has flare ups on parts of my body at certain times, not all over, all the time.

Well, the antihistamine reduced the itching, for a few hours, but tonight is torture again. I'm so tired I can no longer function and have reached the decision that I will have to give up breastfeeding. I'm gutted. I love the bond it gives me with Babax. I'm crying my eyes out tonight, which is pathetic but I can't solve this any other way. It is my whole body Eco. i think I could cope with patches, but literally everywhere is affected, even my ear lobes and palms of my hands and feet, and my lips feel numb.

Wotta I don't know how you manage if you have hives all the time. It's awful.

Oh lovely Worse what terrible luck. Please don't beat yourself up. Babax needs a mummy who sleeps a bit occasionally. Did you get to the doctor? Hoping you feel some relief soon.

Oh Worse (big hug).

I hope you get some sleep soon, and appropriate support to do whatever you need to do. I had no idea this could even be a problem (I thought Wotta's reaction was to domperidone, never realised just BFing could do the same). Go easy on yourself, and please get some rest.

worse adding my sympathy - please try not too let the guilt in. You need to. Do whatever is best for you all and your situation at the moment sounds absolutely miserable. I went through my fair share of horrible breastfeeding problems at the beginning but pretty sure what you are going through would have tipped me over the edge. If you really want babbax to have some breastmilk you could always look into donor milk for while. I know it's not common but it's actually what WHO recommend as first back up. There is a facebook group called Human milk 4 Human Babies that you could check out -im a member on there as am happy to donate to people locally (although not done so yet). Just a suggestion anyway.. Thinking of you xx

Hugs worse. If the guilt comes calling, chase it away with the pitchfork of medical necessity. And you can bond just fine without boob juice, as Fartypants will attest. If you want silver linings I could tell you about the programme I saw ages ago about a woman with insane itching caused by being pregnant.

Stormy is right. I know a fair few of the wonderful toddles on this thread have been formula fed from an early age and they're no worse for it. If it means you get to rest and focus more of your energy on the things that are beneficial to your family - like feeling well enough to be properly present - then do it and don't look back. And don't regret a thing.

feeling over the top emotional today, so feel free to ignore!

Oh Worse you poor thing. It's a heartbreaking decision but it's definitely the decision I would have made. You're a Mummy to two wonderful little people and a person in your own right and you need to be well for all of those things and for all of you. True urticarial reactions to breastfeeding can become breastfeeding anaphylaxis and a real danger to you and there's no way you could possibly continue feeding through that. Babax needs a Mummy that can look after him in every way, not just feeding but holding and caring and loving for his entire life, not just breastfeeding for a few months, and you need to be as fit as you can be to do that. It's the right thing for all of you, it's just so hard at this moment. I wish I lived near you so I could pop round with St Patrick's Day hugs, a stern word and a bottle of something bad!

Thank you for all the supportive messages, and Betty I think you may have just scared me into taking this really seriously. I have been getting numb lips, and feeling pretty weird on top of the hives so probably not worth taking the risk of continuing. It'll take a while for milk let down to cease though.

Ah worse just adding my thoughts. Betty puts it across well. Take care of yourself

Worse, so sorry you're going through this. It's proper miserable . But at least if you take the issue away it should eventually ease. Careful how you stop as you don't want to add mastitis into the mix too ! We mixed fed as you know and DS bond with dh is fab, in part because he could've involved from early on. Bf is not always easy or possible and we are lucky to live somewhere with a very real choice, so no guilt allowed if that's the way it goes. Big virtual hugs (so as not to set the itches off).

worse sorry to hear you've been having a shitty time recently. Please don't feel guilty. You need to take care of yourself and there are loads of other ways to bond with your son.

stormy I saw that programme too. I felt so bad for her.

I have news too... I lost 5 and half pounds this week. Probably water but who cares I've lost.

Hi worse, how are you doing tonight? I think you have dh and nanny......but fat lot of good that is if you're staring at the ceiling wishing you could be asleep. Is it the hormone that gets released when you actually feed or the one (can't remember but assume it's different) that helps produce the milk? It'd be good if it were the former as I suspect the hives may dissappear more quickly. I can't recall if he's taken a bottle already.....has that part gone ok? Is babax such a hungry boy that he took it without questioning the difference? Too many questions for a very tired mum of a new born. Excuse me. Just know I'm thinking of you.

Cross post. Whoop whoop yummy. No idea how much that is but it sounds a lot. Don't be fading away now.

Well done Yummy, you must be working hard at it

Eco yes, we have the maternity nurse, but unless DH is at home it is still very hard as I have to do 100% of toddle care, plus Babax feeds, and housework so I'm still busy. I think I'm just run ragged as for example on nursery days I'm up and on the go from 5am, rushing backwards and forwards as first one dc and then the other needs something from me, and everything needs to be fitted round drop off and pick up. Basics like food and drink for me are rushed and rubbish.

I haven't started the formula yet for the simple reason we haven't got any, and I haven't managed to get to a shop. Partly I'm too tired, and partly I don't want to go out. My face looks frightening, it's horribly swollen with hives and as are my eyelids. Perhaps DH will get some today. He was in Boots yesterday to get calamine lotion for me, but forgot

All that aside, things are going well. the toddle loves her little brother and it's very heart warming. When she gets home after we've been out he's the first thing she asks for, and when I feed him she will go and find a blanket to tuck round him, and then sit on the sofa beside me stroking his hair. I'm so glad. I was expecting sibling rivalry and histrionics.

Excellent work yummy. A big initial loss is so motivating.

Send him out forthwith Worse! Your life sounds frantic right now. I hope things calm down soon and you manage to get some time for yourself - I suppose formula does make this slightly more of a possibility. How's dd's sleep now? Still good I hope.

DS is dozing beside me and the cat is racing round the bedroom in the hopes I'll get up and feed her. DH is in Brussels and I'm gutted. I feel quite lonely despite the babies and cats.

Perhaps worse? I don't think it works like that at this stage... He goes asap - for you. Least he can do. Fx for swift recovery.