March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

Appy boffdee toddlePlonk!

eco my nephew is 5 so there is a 3.5 year age gap, which is lovely. Neph was 5 months when they got him, which is incredibly rare, so it's like we've never not known him. And DSis tells his birth story thus - when her son was being born, she was sunbathing on a cruise ship in the med with me. It's nice that she knows exactly where she was, and nice that it was that!! They play together really nicely and it's the gap I'd like between DS and the next. Luckily, they live 5 mins away from us so they're more like brothers than cousins. In fact, we have him for a sleepover tonight so by bedtime I'll be ready for a good sit down!!

rainbow I think you're right on toddles either being very into one or t'other - we're definitely of the motor skills camp. DS runs everywhere, climbs on everything and is always finding new ways of playing and doing. The boy is never still. He's not particularly interested in sitting down to read, and if he's colouring or painting, he gets bored after about 10 minutes. And cuddles? Unless he's in pain or tired, forget it!

We have a fair bit of nappy off time in the house and that's when the potty tends to be used. I'm really looking forward to summer so that I can just let him loose, but the garden needs doing and the dog needs to stop pooing all the time!!

Now you lot, you've blown me away you master bakers. I'm pinterest-ing simple train cakes left, right and centre. If you don't see a picture of it on Sunday, then just assume it's gone terribly!

Happy birthday toddleplonk!

Thanks Yummy and Something. So far birthday no.2 had involved a rather cold walk in the park then burgers and chips in a diner. and so that I could get some maternity bras as my body is already doing strange things. We're now watching Frozen with a dose of Calpol for him and some honey and lemon tea for me as we're all feeling slightly worse for wear. Birthday was properly celebrated yesterday so today feels rather more restful.

Eco you most certainly are a bumpkin but I believe its the best way to be. I hope the ring turns up soon.

Worse how is Babax? Is DH back yet? I hope he bowed to your awesome mothering prowess before he even took his coat off! And hope all is well with the four of you.

Betty recovered yet? I can't believe how much more knackered I am ! having ds. You are not alone!

Shattered is it the spd causing problems? I guess the finish line is looming now though, even though it's becoming a struggle. For me, well I feel mostly fine but getting tired now and had a hormonal hissyfit this morning. Thankfully I recognised it for what it was and calmed down!! I do miss nicotine but I've not smoked cigarettes in a long time. I'd been using a vaporizer with liquid skittles flavour nicotine! And giving up booze isn't hard for me really, but it's just a case of getting out of the habit of having them and finding other mechanisms to cope with bad days and feeling rubbish.

I have an afternoon of batch cooking ahead of me. As soon as ds decides hoods world won't end if I go in another room...

Oh no, I've broken it!

There. That should sort it.

Hi ladies
eco that is devastating about your ring. I would be upset!! Any news??
plonk I'll break the thread instead if you like. I am intrigued by the liquid skittles nicotine!!! I don't smoke but that might tempt me anyway..!! And yes it's the SPD. Sadly. Incredibly painful and making life with a toddler quite difficult. Hey ho. How's the nausea? Pregnancy is glam isn't it?
worse has the nanny continued to be a success? How long do you have her for?
Anyone else feeling reflective about their brand new babies being 2? Can't believe how quickly the last two years have flown by. Eco is DD the last birthday?
Can't remember much else. I'm watching DS sit up in his cot instead of sleeping! Hope everyone well.

Where is everyone?

Just a quick post from me. I went to my first slimming world session. Got lots to read and get my head round tonight. In the meantime I am too scared to eat/drink so I don't accidently use my syns.

Catch up with you all tomorrow.

Yes Yummy, where is everybody?
tell us about slimming world. Is it just a healthy eating plan? I've never done one of those weight loss groups but I know people who've had success with sw and kept it off too.

Shattered the problem with the vaporizer is that you can't stub it out like you can an old school cig, and it's easy to chuff away without noticing what you're doing. I've been trying to quit for months with no luck but thankfully I now have the push I needed! I have bored hands though.
Sorry to hear about the spd. Those last few weeks are really tough.

I had a grand total of four hours sleep last night in several small chunks. I wish the Wonder Weeks book continued to two years, because I'm sure ds is having one. He's insisting on going to sleep holding a cup of milk, which he's never done before.
On the other hand I seem to have become symptomless so Worse I'm now convinced that I'm having a girl. Oh and we've decided to have a home birth!

Well, if owt sucks me back to the thread it's going to be the hint of a home birth I made a birthday card for my girl last Migu (she is 25th shattered and I think Leni toddle might be late March too?) and I put on it 'best day ever' because it was. But not in a 'I loved every moment' way, but in an empowering, life changing way. You have two people on here who can share lists, tips and experiences with you if you want nearer the time. Are you watching one born?

I gave up smoking with those sucky nicotine things pre vaporisers that doctors prescribed. I also needed josticks (that sounds weird but I got addicted after ceasing smoking) and lots of food. That kept my hands busy Well done for getting to where you are. It's a big deal. I always said I'd not be an old smoker so I had no last cigarette on my thirtieth birthday and never had another. Although I fancy them sometimes still. The waft of a rolly......

Yummy you're doing great things too love! It's a pretty big deal heading to slimming world and getting your head around that syn stuff. My in laws are all prone to ballooning all on slimming world now with great success and I understand syns for when I have to cook for them.

Shattered I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so rubbish. You're on the home straight now though. I had a session of cranial osteopathy when up duff for a back/neck thing and that helped. Are there any things like that that help or is it just too complex?

Right my man has a lieu day today so we're off on ikea based errands this morning and I'm working this afternoon so I'd best get a wriggle on. Happy wine Wednesday to (most of) you.

Ooh excellent eco, I shall start compiling my list of questions. I was quite surprised that DH was supportive actually, I thought he'd refuse to even entertain the notion of having a baby outside of a hospital. There are so many reasons for wanting one, and that empowering feeling is definitely on the agenda. I think I'm going to be one big fat lentil weaver in this pregnancy, though I'll stop short of making placenta smoothies.
Not watching OBEM this time. The hospital is where Arlo was born. That statue outside LWH and hearing scouse midwives say 'baby' gives me the willies. On the other hand, hearing scousers say backache is quite satisfying. Maybe I'll come around to it.

I didn't know you were a smoker young lady! I agree about rollies though. Straights just don't do it for me, but a wee bit of drum gold and a pint of ale on a hot day is unbeatable in terms of satisfaction. I've been eating a tiny bit more but I'm mainly just trying to keep myself busy. The cravings have pretty much gone, but temptation will always be there I suppose.

Who else had a homebirth? For some reason I'm thinking it was either Wotta or Any? Oh and Betty if you're around (I know you've been rushed off your lovely pins lately) pleeeease answer me this - if I had a ventouse last time, is a home birth a stupid decision?

Probably better for your blood pressure that you're off the fags, Plonk - buying tobacco is getting a bit rage inducing. Sainsbury the other day, "25g gold leaf please," (drum's got too pricey for me). Lady on the till has a look behind the screen and says they're all out. "Can I have a dekko at what you do have?" I asked - a perfectly reasonable question, you'd think, but no can do. As of the fifth of April it will be illegal to slide the screen back for the purpose of allowing the customer to choose. Five grand on the spot fine if they're caught doing it. So I went to the offy next door and had a good rant with the lady on the till there about how bloody ridiculous it is.

Think Rainbow's your home birth gal Plonk. I tried for water birth in mlu but got transferred for a vent like you!

Fartypants is wearing pants. This is scary...

Yes I had a homebirth - happy to answer any questions you may have plonky.

We are on day three of wearing pants. Day one was full of accidents, day 2 only one accident which happened while in the garden and distracted and no accidents so far today. We even went out in the car for a two hour trip and used a public toilet. So going well I think! stormy it is weird seeing them in pants - im not usually particularly emotional about them getting older and the changes but it did make me a little sad to see her looking all grown up in her tiny pants. Loving the freedom and cost savings of no nappies though!

Bum feels tiny when you carry them sans nappy, it is weird. We had three accident free hours, then a wee on the floor, then a thankfully pretty dry and solid poo on the floor. She's a bit reluctant to sit and stay sitting, which doesn't help. It's just a bit unfortunate that she likes private poos and so saves them for when she's in her cot or for when I'm having a smoke! (Another good reason to resist the cigs for you there, Plonk). Plan is see how it goes over the next couple of days, and if no improvement back to nappies and try again later.

Look at you two, all organised!!

Thanks Rainbow. At the moment I'm mainly concerned with how you coped with the pain of labour. I had pethidine last time and now am keen to avoid it, so I need tips.
eco Am I right in thinking you transferred after DD was born? Was that for a tear or some other reason?

I've decided to embrace my inner lentil weaver this time.

Sorry for the radio silence from my end, life has been a bit lacking in time and personal space of late. Shattered, Plonky if I have any advice at all on number two it would be this. Do not under any circumstances even think about inviting parents, PILs, BIL, SIL and nephew to stay, when you have a toddler and an ebf new born on a growth spurt. Doubly don't do this when everyone has a cold, so is cranky, unsettled and unable to sleep. Trebly when all the women in the party are strongly anti-bfing, hence spend the entire visit saying helpful things like 'are you feeding him again? '. 'I think you should give him a bottle'. 'He can't be hungry'. 'Couldn't you just leave him to cry for half an hour while we have dinner?' . The fact I didn't punch anyone is testament to the fact I am no longer hormonal... and I'm too tired to bother!

Actually the anti-bfing thing was really quite depressing. The older generation are something else. Here's some actual genuine quotes from the past 4 days:

'When you were born I gave you to the midwife and told her to take you away and give you a bottle. I figured I'd had this parasite living in me for 9 months and I wasn't going suffer that parasite for a second longer. I need my sleep.

Bf-ing will make your teeth fall out

The very idea of bf-ing makes me feel sick.

It shouldn't be allowed in restaurants. It puts people off their food.

I should stop there. I'm annoying myself all over again, and they've left now!

Plonky I had ventouse first time round, and Babax managed to barge his way out all by himself this time. I reckon things are (ahem) a little roomier second time around. That said, the toddle had a massive head. 97th percentile massive. Babax has a pin head. Well he does in comparison. 50th I think. Made things a little easier.

Home birth?! Go for it. Looking at the hospital transfer rates at our local MLU, they are comparatively low for second timers, so statistically you have a very good chance of everything being just fine.

Shattered hang in there. It's much harder second time isn't it? Largely because looking after a toddle is tiring, without being pregnant as well. The upside is when no2 arrives they will seem really easy in comparison. Honestly, the whole newborn bit is a piece of cake compared to a 2 year old

Stormy I'm not even going to think about pants for a very long time yet. If I hadn't just disrupted her life massively I probably would, but potty training seems a step too far right now.

The nanny is back now after 4 days off.... boy did I miss her! Daytimes are fine, it's trying to get the toddle into bed at the same time as Babx is hitting peak cluster feeding period that is really trying, oh and getting them both up, cleaned, dressed and fed in the morning. Especially on nursery days when we have to leave by 7.30am. One word - exhausting.

Eco I hope your ring turns up. I have also yet to post a picture of your wonderful craft work. I will!

Everyone else, I'll have to wave, as I have two small people waking right now. Help!!!!!

Im here Plonky! Sorry for the radio silence. It's been a busy week and I'm shattered although probably not as shattered as Shattered. The hen do was fun thanks and I've been booking our very last minute flights and apartment for the wedding and then a ladies only long weekend flit away!

Plonky it's not daft at all. What happened during your labour last time? Were you induced or spontaneous labour and why the ventouse? If you haven't got any significant risk factors then there's absolutely no reason you couldn't go for a home birth. The recent place of birth study has good evidence that home births have low risks for people that have had a previous baby vaginally.

You've had a vaginal delivery previously, instrumentals are common with first babies and you've got about a 90% chance of a normal delivery with a second baby if you had a vaginal delivery first time (give or take depending on whether labour was spontaneous).

I seem to have said vaginal a lot in this post!

Today I ended up carrying madam back from the park along with dragging a muddy dog because after wanting to jump in puddles she wanted her wellies off because they were muddy and refused point blank to walk another step. They're delightful these toddles aren't they?

Blimey Worse, if I had been in your shoes I'd have been tempted to ask them all to leave. What awful attitudes you had to put up with!! The idea of a baby being a parasite is just so old fashioned. At least I hope it is - I recently met a young mum who was giving her newborn hungry baby formula so she could sleep, and giving him water because he couldn't possibly be hungry so soon after a feed... I thought I was going to bite my tongue so hard it'd start bleeding!

Thank goodness your magic nanny's returned! Hooray!

Anyway, yes, I think you're right about things being a tad, er, roomier. I've heard subsequent babies rather tend to fly out.
Betty thank you thank you for your very helpful post. Labour was indeed spontaneous, if rather late. The ventouse was necessary because there was meconium in my waters, and he had the cord around his neck so heart was decelerating with each contraction. He came out in two pushes though, so I'm reasonably confident I could've popped him out easily enough if it wasn't a matter of urgency.

So given everything you've said, I presume my chances of a successful natural home birth are stacked massively in my favour? DH will be so thrilled

And yes, toddler logic! DS insisted on sleeping with a cup of milk in his hand last night. SIX times he woke me saying 'bed wet. George wet'. Silly muffin.

And because it's not already been mentioned enough, VAGINA.

Shit Worse I completely missed your post. I think those are times the sentence 'why don't you fuck off to the far side of fuck' was made for, even if only to be uttered inside your head!

Plonk it was my VAGINA that requested a hospital trip afterwards. In a nutshell I went to 42 plus 6 and my waters broke (I'd had my second sweep the day before). I got into the water after about twelve hours of tightenings being fairly intense. I then spent three hours birth breathing the enormously headed baby downwards. I realise the midwives did me a massive favour by 'letting' me push that long. I was in the pool on my own. The midwives were a good few feet away. Dh leaned over and took baby out of water and we all patted ourselves on the back whilst trying not to gag upon looking in the birth pool.....it wasn't very clear anymore I then got out a while later for perineum to be examined and they told me I had third degree and that spinal and theatre and eight people was the best way forward. I had had no pain relief during child birth. Well, except the water which made it feel so so so much more manageable. Read Ina May Gaskin books. They were my inspiration.

Worse. I'm not as tired as you. I'd have thumped them for you and told them to feck off with their unnatural opinions. Tell them about your friend Eco who 'still' feeds her two year old. That'll get them off your back

Desperately trying to find an excuse to should vaginal! It is a good word.

So, pants are good because wet pants are bad. No pants means just wee on floor which is apparently fascinating. If I'm feeling optimistic, I'll tell you all we only had three accidents today (so far), but my inner pessimist feels honour-bound to point out that this is a zero per cent success rate.

Stormy does dd show any signs of equating wet knickers with that needing to wee feeling? It sounds like miniRainbow might get there soon, hope FP does too. I've no idea when to start potty training. He's just not ready, despite being able to hold it and tell me when he's filled his nappy, and I cba with the stress.

Eco would you say the pool was completely necessary? The only place we could fit one would be in the kitchen, and that doesn't appeal. Rainbow did you birth dd on dry land or in a pool? I guess I just need to finding good coping techniques.

I'm winning so far today. After going to sleep at 9 last night I woke up at 6 and ds and I are already fed and dressed. This is pretty much a miracle.

Well, she's only felt wet knickers once. Bare bum wees anywhere just entertain her. But the wee with pants on yesterday obviously stuck in her mind because she was going on about it for the rest of the day. I'm not convinced she's entirely ready yet, I just thought I'd give it a go and see what happens because she asked to use the loo.

Water births scare me slightly because of the clean up. My friend's ex wife had one with their son, and he described the water as looking like oxtail soup afterwards. Although based on my own birth experience I suspect if you're the one in the pool you'll probably be too focused on other things to worry too much about that.

Home births scare me!! That's really not meant to be unhelpful plonk just my thoughts. And I'm interested in why you want to avoid pethidine- did it affect DS? I didn't get any pain relief last time and to be honest I'm starting to rather dread the thought of another labour . betty seeing as we are asking you questions, how can I avoid tearing this time...!?!!! Ugh. Seeing as I didn't join here til late if anyone wants to tell me something that went well/they'd repeat next time I'm all ears!!!
Moving on from that....worse that sounds rubbish. Why is it that everyone has an opinion on everything when you're pregnant/have a newborn?! I agree that you did extremely well to hold your tongue!!
We are also a way off potty training . I imagine we'll let DC2 settle in the maybe try a couple of months after that- when I can handle it!! I don't think DS is ready yet.
plonk I thought DS's hair looked good!!
Yes eco I'm having Physio, it's expensive though. I have been given the number of an osteopath so might think about that at some point. Am pretty fed up of being in pain but trying not to moan in RL
I'm trying to decide if I need a single pram, as there will be days DS is in childcare. I've found a cheap one, what do people think?? Worth getting?
Also yummy keep us posted on SW. May have to look into it after DC2 arrives..!!

Worth getting a single pram with space to attach a buggy board, I reckon, Shattered - DS is probably going to outgrow needing a buggy fairly soon but the new baby will need one for, what, the next three years?

Plonk I too rather liked DS's bed hair. Be thankful that his hair's fairly short! Fartypants gets the same mad hair but it's longer so even crazier. I just console myself with the thought that no one bats an eyelid if toddlers look a bit of a state. Well, no one worth listening to at any rate.

eco all I can think to say about your waterbirth photos is: "Nice legs!"