November 2014 - the one where we all get a good night's sleep

[moggle]

Here's hoping, anyway...

Ark how are things going with you and your DP? Have you had some time out yet?

What (if anything) is everyone doing for Valentine's Day? Boycotting it or embracing it?! Or forgetting about it in the haze of newborn duties?! I've done nothing yet... Will try to make DP a card this afternoon as getting out is looking unlikely. I normally hate the commercialism of it all but with the sheer lack of time we get together at the moment, I feel I need to make an effort to let him know he's loved and appreciated.

Freddie is without a doubt number 1 in our house! Without him I'd never get a shower in peace.

Tomorrow we're having lunch sans baby for the first time. Dp has a cold so nothing more exciting than that.

Re: isolation, can totally understand that. If I see an empty day in the diary I panic about being home alone all day. That's why I love baby groups. Actually my 2 best friends have drifted already. They live in a different town but that never mattered before. Now I never hear from them :(

Thisis I often get asked how do I feel like a mum and to be honest I still sometimes look at that little person and cannot believe that I have a daughter, she is my daughter and I am a mum to somebody. It just seems incredible this perfect new person is 50% of me even though she has my mouth and looks back to me with my own eyes. It's just inconceivable. Maybe once she starts to talk and calls me mum it will sink in properly? Then again when I was pregnant I could not believe I would soon have a baby and was always saying that it would probably happen once she is here. So many people have said that the birth of their children have changed them completely, but somehow I feel the same person as before, just there is that amazing little girl by my side.

oh and don't judge me for being so twee but I made dp a card by painting dd's feet pink and printing them in the shape of a heart. It was a baby group activity or would never have risked my floors...

I love it Ladydolly! That's a great idea!

ladydolly SO stealing that idea! X

DD loves Freddie and sir prance-a-lot, but is absolutely terrified of the puppytunes. First I got it out for her she started to cry quite badly, over the time she started to tolerate it more, but still not favourite toy.

Specifically for Valentines not doing anything, but this weekend we are going to cinema. In turns, unfortunately, but I want to see few films and have convinced DH that going to cinema on your own makes sense in our circumstances. It's not a place people actively communicate with each other like pub or something and a bit of culture would not hurt us. One day we will go for pictures all three of us!

thisis not yet. Not away from Dd anyway. Still stressful here but getting better slowly. Just NEED my bloody car now. Having lunch with a friend on Monday but no idea how I'm going to get home, walking down is one thing but up the massive hill home is another!

Anna, I've been to see my friend today who is having radiotherapy for breast cancer. She had chemo to start with, but doesn't want anymore so is having radiotherapy instead (after having most of her breast removed). She said it doesn't take that long and she hasn't had many side effects yet but you can get red patches and burns from the treatment. She was ok to start with, playing with her granddaughter and my DD but she got tired after a while. Good luck with your dad's treatment.

We love freddie too! She likes it when I make him fly around (I spent a lot of time playing with her toys).

Anna - so sorry to hear about you Dad.

DD is no longer the youngest on the street. My cousin who lives a bit further down gave birth to her little boy last night. So will have to pop in later in the week.

Thanks Caz. I know it'll exhaust him so am insisting he has it as an in-patient, at least in seperate blocks.

Found out the type of tumour, turns out the reason for no surgery is that there's no point. Its Glioblastoma Multiforme which is a death sentence. Without radiation he'd have only 2 months or so, with it he may have a year. Probably less, considering he's old. He doesn't know. So this is a terrible time. I look at the baby and start to cry. Its going to be a horrific year and I can't figure out how to balance my grief with having a new baby. I feel like I'm supposed to be so joyous in the first year of having a baby but its been sucked out of me and can't be put back. Joy seems impossible, even obscene to think about it.

Anyway, sorry for being gloomy. I don't want to clog up this thread with much non-baby stuff, just giving a quick update.

By the way the size 2 teats did NOT go down well! He just choked and screamed. So back to struggling with the size 1 but hey ho. He has also started refusing to nap and his new thing is falling asleep on the bottle during the day as he's so tired. Resists all attempts to keep him awake. So then he only gets half in! Grrrr!

But then he takes vast amounts when he wakes for feeds at night. Worried he's going to get a bit topsy turvy but I'm not sure what I can do?

Ridiculously I actually get broody seeing newborns! like my baby isn't enough!!

Cards from both dp and dd this morning, very sweet.

Morning a failure, refused to feed at usual time so I could go to get eyelashes done knowing she was fed and happy. Came home to sound of her cries and frustrated dp.
Packed up for swimming and mums, pool closed until 1. Back home for showers and dd fast asleep so I'm now sat in the car with her while dh goes in to get ready.

Bring on the v day burger at lunch!

anna I totally get the whole conflict between wanting to enjoy your baby and grieving/dealing with stuff like that. Though it wasn't my dad losing both my grandma and dps dad has meant I'm torn between being upset and being happy! Be gloomy and chat away on here cause that's what it's there for and you lot have been a fantastic source of support for me the last few months.

I think I'm going to have to get some form of cosytoes or similar as DD will not keep blankets on her when we go out!! Does anyone use anything like that with the car seat? She's still too little to go in the buggy bit

Ridiculously I actually get broody seeing newborns! like my baby isn't enough!!

Cards from both dp and dd this morning, very sweet.

Morning a failure, refused to feed at usual time so I could go to get eyelashes done knowing she was fed and happy. Came home to sound of her cries and frustrated dp.
Packed up for swimming and mums, pool closed until 1. Back home for showers and dd fast asleep so I'm now sat in the car with her while dh goes in to get ready.

Bring on the v day burger at lunch!

Anna I am so sorry. I can't imagine how much of a shock that must be. I'm so sorry that I can't really offer any useful other advice than Take gentle care of yourself and do keep sharing how you are. And make the most of the time you have together. When my dad got ill we did that and it helped to have loads of happy memories. I'm sure you know all that though. Sending you a huge hug.

Ark have a look at the Morrck site. We have one of these for DS. It keeps him really cosy and you don't need to worry about outdoor coats affecting the fit of the car seat belt straps because the straps come through holes in the Morrck and you don't need to put extra layers on when you leave home because they're all wrapped up. If he's still asleep when we get home I just fold back the sides so he doesn't overheat. One of the most useful things we bought.

Watch the how to fit video on the site if my explanation makes no sense

Sorry, should have specified I meant the Baby Hoodie.

Anna so very sorry to hear about your dad. Its very tough seeing someone you love go through terminal cancer, but never feel guilty for enjoying your beautiful baby. The happy times are what will get you through it.

My dad had combined chemo & radiotherapy for his cancer when it was first diagnosed (different type). He mostly coped pretty well with it, though found the radiotherapy site a bit sore & was very tired. He struggled to get out and about much after his treatment due to fatigue, but he'd had major surgery too so I'd imagine that made a big difference. I know others who've had it & mobility hasnt been affected at all.

Sadly my dad's cancer was very aggressive and it came back & took him from us 2 years ago, just 4 weeks after his terminal diagnosis. He spent all of that in hospital & DS was only 2 so I couldnt spend as much time with him as I'd have liked. Just make the most of every day you have left, enjoy your time just being together & dont be afraid to ask for help with supporting him. And as the others have said feel free to talk to us all here

Well dd has astounded us & self settled the last 2 days -WOOHOO!!!!
As for feeds, dd has been drinking less at each feed but we're on variflow teats so no issue there - turns out she's just stretching her time between feeds to 4hrs now though she often eays a lot at night then refuses her breakfast bottle too

ark we have a wallaboo wrap in the car seat, like a fajita with a foot space. Might be similar to the morrck things?

anna I'm so sorry about your dad. I can't offer much but to say we're all here even if you just need to write the grief down/let things out.

I haven't been creative with dh's card but rather got him one to remind him of when we were getting together (and a lot of flirting/dtd going on!) I think we're both missing it a bit everything will get a bit more normal in time. He has got me an hour an a half specialist breast feeding /new mum massage though! Lovely man.. To repay him I stuffed up A's fast track passport appointment today (going to Paris in march and left it a bit late, ) so spent much of the afternoon apart. V with myself but hoping to salvage the day with steak.

Thinking if you Anna, think how happy your dad must be to have a new grandchild

Yes its his only grandchild too, so is a ray of light in the darkness. I'm going to try to give Dad lots of baby time.

So sorry about your Dads loss omama.

Valentines Day rather passed us by - no cards or anything as we didn't have time, but DH bought me a box of Maltesers when he was out getting milk. A small thing, but it made me all sniffly.

anna very sorry about your dad. Can only agree about giving him as much baby time as possible and make every moment you all have left together. Living in different countries with my parents means I see them few times a year and often notice how they have aged from time to time. Makes me think about how they are not going to be around forever.

Anna sorry to hear about your dad.

Ark we use a wallaboo car seat footmuff it's great used since birth.

Baby is 12weeks old n still wakes a fair bit at night 4 times is a good night between 7.30pm n 6/7am.

Still bottle refusing although more he doesn't know what to do nuk no longer a success, got a vital nurture one as its shaped like a breast n they have to latch on n he had a go with it but he has a crap latch anyway despite tongue tie being snipped at 8weeks.

He also hates the formula aptamil pepti gp prescribe I do 50/50 formula n ebm in bottle

Oh well just to keep trying it I suppose

Hello again... Hope everyone is enjoying their wee people. Really badly lost touch with the threads have spent the past week trying to catch up on about 8 weeks worth...I gave up

Dd is almost 12 weeks now it's scary how quickly time is going in. She's just moved into her cot although still in our room. Feeding well but bringing up lots after...have her on A thickner but doesn't seem to be working! Our bib & muslin pile grows by the day.

Will try to keep more upto date now seeing as we are getting some extra sleep time now Anna so sorry to hear about your dad