November 2014 - the one where we all get a good night's sleep

[moggle]

Here's hoping, anyway...

Well if he doesn't want DD there then he needs to say if he wants you there. In which case your Mum is just going to have to put her fears aside in these exceptional circumstances i.e. To allow you to attend your FILs funeral!

And if he doesn't go to the wake then you don't have to, so you can come home to get baby. People will just assume you're with him. We left my FILs wake after just an hour, just snuck out without saying anything, and came home to his Dads empty house and DH just wept. In the hubbub I'm not sure anyone even noticed we'd gone but prob thought we were just outside with friends or something.

Wakes are only for other people, really. Everyone sitting around with their drinks shaking their heads and saying "You never know, do you...." AAAAARRRRGH! No wonder DH had to get out of there.

In other news, we twigged this weekend that my Dad has most likely been having mini strokes. On Friday I was there (DH & baby had already headed home) and he tried to get out of the bed and collapsed. It was his balance, he didn't lose consciousness or anything but we got such a fright. And has had a lot of vagueness and wierd stuff lately, such as not seeing his dinner on the table in front of him.

We couldn't do anything over the weekend as he's mobile and coherent and spending the weekend on an A&E trolley wouldn't help him, so tomorrow am going to ring the GP to arrange a CT Brain. We are terrified as this is how his Mum died, lots of mini strokes and then a big one. Had terrible nightmares last night and have a knot of dread in my stomach. DH has been very kind, gave me a lie in this morning as I was up a lot during the night and now has brought baby out in the pram so I can have a shower. Then is bringing us to Next later for some completely unneccessary baby clothes shopping to cheer me up. He's a legend.

Anyhoo, fingers crossed we can get some help for him next week to head off a big one.

Lady and Ark, I'm with you on the needing a break front. I feel I've got an accumulation of exhaustion, partly because I never get enough sleep and partly because I'm on duty 24/7. I love baby and am thrilled to bits to be a Mum. That doesn't make me immune to fatigue tho! Tried giving lo to dh for an hour today and he lasted about 10 minutes before he brought her up to me in bedroom looking traumatised (her mainly). I spent the rest of the afternoon worrying about this as well as feeding and caring for lo and trying to snooze in between. Trouble is, I fear that apart from the lack of familiarity and milk, it might be due to dh's high energy communication. I keep trying to hint that she tires easily but I'm not sure he's getting the hint and he's so easily offended it's hard to know how to broach it :( Feeling pretty sorry for myself that an hour on a Sunday is too much to ask :/

Shit, anna I hope you get some help for him quick. And that you got some good retail therapy in.

juulie that is tough, dp is noooormally pretty good and did take her out for a walk this afternoon. But like you I do love being a mum but the hours are relentless!!

Eeek ladydolly I hope you can get him sorted quickly.

My mums finaly realised she has no Option but to grow a pair and look after her grand daughter. DPs dads funeral tomorrow, I'm having a total conflict in my head because Its going to be awful but I'm so looking forward to havjng an hour baby free! Just wish it wasn't for attending a funeral. My dads coming and some of the boys are too which is so bloody good of them.

juulie another one here with high energy issue regarding DP!!! I'm kind of thinking I need to leave him to find it out for himself though?

Oops meant anna not ladydolly....., I need my bed!

ark hope the funeral is not too bad

anna hope your dad is ok and doctors can help him.

anna hope your dad gets the help and support he and you all need

ark good luck with the funeral. It sounds like you are doing a really good job of supporting your OH.

This is the dumbest question ever but I feel I can ask it here. I can tell when DS is getting tired. He tends to get very quiet and start rubbing his eyes, gets a glazed look on his face. I tend to at this point pick him up and pat/rock him to sleep and try to put him down in carry cot/cot. The put down doesn't always work and so he wakes up. Should I be doing this? Should I just be putting him in his cot when he looks tired? If he wakes up should I just leave him till he cries or pick him up to get him back to sleep. I feel like I have lost my instinct on daytime sleeping. x

You're doing better than me Catg - when he looks tired I do nappy if it's about time then offer boob to get him to sleep!

Anyone wanting to stock up on nappies ocado have their own brand carefour nappies half price so the massive boxes work out at 5p nappy dependant on sz. Also pampers wipes are bogof. I have just brought a box sz 4 and 3 of sz 4+ n load wipes as only use pampers sensitive wipes.

If anyone wants £20 off an £80 ocado first shop let me have your email and will send link.

catg I am totally winging it. 1st nap I either feed to sleep or feed til shes drowsy (eyes closing or kind of spaced out) and put her down and she drifts off. 2nd nap usually try and feed and she either falls asleep or gets effing hysterical shes so tired but fights sleep (how I spent the last hour) and I have to rock her off.

How do you do it at night? thankfully my nightimes are more nap 1 scenario.

So I've been no help at all but at least you know you're not alone. These babies are a mystery to me.

At night we feed feed feed then let him sleep on my shoulder for at least 10 mins then transfer to the moses basket. Usually works but last two nights have been horrendous with him just waking straight up as I'm halfway down to the moses basket or just as his head hits the sheets.

I don't have daytime naps sussed at all. Once she's woken up she normally has her first nap upstairs at 8/9am but only if I let her sleep in our bed, then after I take her downstairs she doesn't seem to want to sleep unless I feed her and keep hold of her. I tend to get bored with this so take her out in the car/pram/sling so she does sleep then. Otherwise she gets really overtired and grumpy by about 5pm and just messes about when I try to feed her. However, she was looking tired so I put her in the moses basket with her mobile on, turned the tv off and put the dog outside and she's been asleep for half an hour so I've finally managed to do the washing up (quietly) and might get to have a cuppa! I thought you are supposed to keep everything normal during the day with everyday noises to try and teach them the difference between night and day but she seems to prefer peace and quiet.

Discovered today that in-laws are going to visit everyday this week. I can't complain as they are coming because FIL is having radiotherapy each day at a hospital near us, but I could really do without the amount of housework that will require as well as tthe 2x1.5hr round trips to pre-school, getting up at 6am, entertaining them, making even more drinks and meals, etc etc.

Happy perhaps now is the time not to do everything - have a quick run round tidying up nothing major run Hoover over downstairs, bung some bleach down loo n shove dishes in dishwasher.

When they arrive say oh I just need to feed baby you know where the kettle is please help yourself and I will have x - leave some biscuits out, if it's lunchtime say there's some bread n some ham/cheese/salad please help yourself and can you make me x.

Or can you ask them to pick older one up from pre school environment route?

Ask them to watch baby or take baby for walk, sit in garden while weather is nice while you get an hr nap.

If you ask now by end week they should just offer or alternatively not come :)

Food wise if a main meal could you say to mil I love x meal you make could you make that here later in the week

Bare with me cause I'm not sure it makes sense but...we don't actually know where I was in my pregnancy when I had my first scan because DD is a secret ninja baby ( I think you all know my backstory! )

If I put DDs due date into wonder weeks app it puts us at a Sunny period but this week we've had more crying louder and longer and worse sleep. If I put her due date in as 10 days before it puts us at the end of leap three, which makes more sense as she was much happier last night and this morning than she has been the last few days.

But would mean I was nearly 4 weeks overdue!!!!

ark it could simply mean that doctors made mistake when estimated your due date. I was playing around with wonder weeks and start to have doubts whether i should put birth date or EDD there. DD seems to be few weeks ahead of the developmental milestones, which could be bcs of being overdue for 11 days.

In all fairness all they had to go on was a scan where I was apparently 35 weeks lol!

Hahaha Ark you might have been full term when you got to know it!

Dd today has a pram day. We went out for a walk, came back and the only place she would be content appeared to be pram. Had lunch while having her in the pram blubbing and playing with her fists, then decided to take advantage of the situation and make crepes with filling for tomorrow's breakfast. Did all that and she was still happy there so decided not to touch her and now she is asleep. Still in the pram. Thank god for the armchair in the kitchen! So we both are having some "me" time in the kitchen

Woop! Just got back into my size 16 jeans

And now I'm eating pizza... Oh well lol

Ark - Did funeral go OK? Did you take baby?
Anna - How's your Dad? Any joy getting decent help/advice?
Cat, Lady, Amy, Caz - I think I'm quite passive re naps. I.e. I go with it if it happens but don't really expect anything or try to make it happen much. All I try to do is put her in cot if she's been asleep on me for a while. Just done it now and she's making the odd noise so not asleep but not distressed so either happy lying there awake or on way to sleep. I have noticed that she has napped sometimes at about 3pm and about 7pm so I make the effort to have a go at putting her down at those times. Often doesn't work. Sometimes putting her in her reclining chair works better cause she's not so lonely maybe? Just doesn't seem as good a place for her to sleep. She's protesting a bit now so i'll have to pick her up I think! Yep. Feeding now. She feeds a lot. I've stopped logging it but it seems to be pretty constant with the occasional break.
She tends to go to sleep for night btwn 1 and 3 am. Just feed her until she's had enough and asleep then put in basket. Sometimes wakes up again for a bit more before gets off to sleep properly. Nice one today: she slept from 1 am 'til 9 am! If I'd slept at same time and not read 'til 2.45 I'd have had the elusive 8 hour stretch.

Does anyone else feel vaguely disorientated and not know what to do with themselves sometimes?! lo was napping with me in bed this morn after morning feed. Then when we finally came downstairs I felt pretty aimless! No planned trips out etc today and I was glad of that. Still feeling my way I think, and the lack of much of a discernible pattern to the day as well as spending most of time responding seems to fog my brain. I just did some singing and dancing with her and smiled and chatted a bit and feeding of course. Felt more confident that I'd entertained her yesterday because went to Mum and baby group on foot with pram.

Sorry, a bit of a waffle due to fogged brain.

Srawberry - pram days sound like a good idea.

juulie funeral went well. DP did really well and my mum looked after baby who was on her best behaviour!

Where do I draw the line with DP? I know he's under so much stress and he's still devastated of course but I'm being totally forgotten about. I just asked him if he could be home for DD tomorrow so I can go for a drink with the girls and he won't be because he's sorting stuff out at his grans.
I'm being totally selfish aren't I. But he hasn't even asked me how I am today, he stayed at his mums last night. Feel like I need to wave a little flag and say ' I'm here too!'

I also still don't have a working car cause he needs to fix it. So I'm stuck at home. I'm going mad.

juulie yup, pram days rule! Though there is a bit of guilty feeling, as if i am neglecting DD having her in a kitchen in pram.

Understand u about lack of structure on some days. But then again this is what mat leave is all abou? Being with your LO? And it looks like on many occassions my DD much prefer me singing to her than dragging her to groups and classes every day. The problem with formal baby activities is that they are on schedule and it is not always in line with DD schedule - she is tired and wants to sleep, but I am taking her to sensory, for example.