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October 2014 // thread 4 // a lot of night feed chatting!

994 replies

sazzlehopes · 29/11/2014 08:06

Welcome everyone. You're doing a good job by the way. Remember that.

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FATEdestiny · 08/12/2014 21:10

"If i could guarantee order like the von trapp family, and closeness like the kardashian family"

As ordered as a family of six can be, which isn't especially. But I do try hard for order and calm. I need routine as much as possible. I guess it is just my personality.

As for closeness, pah! I would recommend not having children with just a one year age gap because the competitiveness is immense. My philosophy is divide and concur. They each have their own room and the enforced quite hour (and any other time they are killing each other or generally doing my nut in) has them separated into different rooms.

FATEdestiny · 08/12/2014 21:24

whippet How much does he sleep during the day? You say he loves his milk so I assume he is feeding enough, but it might be that he's not sleeping enough.

Keep trying with the dummy, they are a god send. I know what you mean about spitting it out though, DD does this when she is very, very cross. It's like she is saying "no, I will scream and you will not stick that thing in my mouth to stop me".

We find rhythmic bouncing on the bouncy chair gradually stops the screaming to a whimper, when she'll then have a dummy and so go to sleep.

splendide I don't feed to sleep. Maybe I'm not gentle enough, but me lifting DD onto my shoulder to wind her will always wake her up. Plus I put her into a sleeping bag to sleep and that wakes her.

But if she was sleep on the breast then after she's been winded she will be put into the cot. Depends on the time of day. In the morning (when she does most of her deep sleeps) she will go to sleep in the cot with her dummy. Come teatime when she is most fractious, no chance. She is bounced to sleep in the bouncy chair.

splendide · 08/12/2014 21:45

So Fate, it's feed then sleeping bag then bouncy chair? Then transfer to crib? Or is it different at night?

FATEdestiny · 08/12/2014 22:06

So Fate, it's feed then sleeping bag then bouncy chair? Then transfer to crib? Or is it different at night?

It depends on what I'll be doing in the following few hours.

7am (ish) Wakes upstairs in cot, fed, nappy changed, straight into carseat and dummy inserted. Drops back to sleep while getting others ready for school.

9am - Often stays asleep in carseat, especially if I'm running errands in the morning. Sometimes wakes if we are home. If wakes she is put into sleeping bag and transferred into moses basket (downstrairs) with dummy. I don't feed at this time.

11am (ish) Feeds, drops to sleep on boob, winded, sleeping bag, moses basket. I don't go out in the afternoons. This will eventually become her main nap.

3.00pm (woken up if asleep) Fed, winded, in car seat or pushchair ready for school run. Dummy inserted to get to sleep on the way.

4.00pm Now starts the unsettled time. Spends rest of evening on bouncy chair dozing on and off. Fed at some point usually, sometimes not.

7.30 ish Bathtime, in PJs and sleeping bag, on bouncy chair. She's still unsettled in evening so life easier to bounce her to sleep.

11pm - Dreamfeed of expressed milk from bottle (although she has refused this last two nights) and upstairs to bed with me. She doesn't usually wake up at all for this. We have a full sized 3-sided cot butted up to bed, so it's kind of like co-sleeping but without losing space in my bed.

I am not some oracle by the way! These are just things that work for me because of the nature of our family life.

fatpony · 08/12/2014 22:18

yellow yep it was suggested to me! I tactfully ignored it. Perhaps later I'll feel braver...

Anyone else's baby suffering from bizarre mood swings? One moment he's gurnimg away and looking earnestly at our faces, the next he's whingeing and starting to cry. I toddle off to find a toy to entertain him and come back a minute later to find him grinning like a loon at the kitchen bin. Odd odd odd...

MundayCakes85 · 08/12/2014 22:52

Pony we have hilarious walls apparently and the fridge is a source of constant intrigue Hmm

MundayCakes85 · 08/12/2014 23:12

Very sore dry bottom here not mine! Not sure what's brought it on but had red faced, real tears screaming tonight. Sad Have put olive oil and breast milk on it- any other ideas gratefully received

jemima1988 · 08/12/2014 23:24

fate you sound like my hero I cannot get my ds on any sort of routine! This is the 4th night in a row he has turned nocturnal I have been up with him all night and asleep with him all day every time I try and get routine he throws something in the mix that messes it all up. How old is your baby? that's it routine starts tomorrow!

Kirstipops · 08/12/2014 23:33

Haha pony yep totally! She could be oohing and aahing happily then she frowns in bewilderment and squeals like she's never seen me before in her life. She isn't in the slightest bit interested in the tree or the cat and instead prefers to grin indulgently at a print on the living room wall or the shadows that my bedside table lamp casts on the ceiling.

Whippet81 · 09/12/2014 00:09

He's hardly sleeping at all in the day and will go 3 hours at most at night. He looks so tired at times but I think he's frightened he's missing out on something if he goes to sleep!

Will call GP in morning - hopefully they'll see him as he's not quite 8 weeks but you never know with our surgery.

splendide · 09/12/2014 02:57

Wow Fate I am completely in awe of your arrangement! How old is your baby? Does he cry much? My DS cries in the pram and car seat unless he's in awake and calm mode (v rare). Would you just persevere and let him bawl in the pram? I don't think he naps nearly enough in the day but I'm having real trouble prolonging sleep - as I said he doesn't really sleep at all if I'm out :(

Errrr2012 · 09/12/2014 04:02

Anyone awake? Dd is asleep on me, screechy cries when I try to put her down, not usually this bad but she had her 8 week jabs earlier so I'm letting her off! Although sleep isn't going brilliantly, she rarely does more than 2-3 hours in a row. I know it won't always be like this but, 8 weeks in, it's starting to lose it's shine. Very jealous of those getting 4-5+ blocks of sleep!!

splendide · 09/12/2014 04:11

Same here but I'm at 6 weeks. Boy is asleep on me now. Going to try a sneaky transfer shortly but really not hopeful

Errrr2012 · 09/12/2014 04:15

Good luck! I'm giving up on the transferring to basket idea, might just try to get her on the mattress next to me so I can doze though. Toddler will be up in 2 hours so time is of the essence. Nice to know I'm not the only one aimlessly browsing the Internet at 4am!!

RudyTuesday · 09/12/2014 04:23

Morning! I'm trapped under a baby too. I can recommend reading the mumsnet classics if you run out of internet.

Bumpandbaby2014 · 09/12/2014 06:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MundayCakes85 · 09/12/2014 08:25

Thanks Bump I put a bit of milk on it with the night feed/ nappy change and no screams. But will get some Fullers earth I reckon.
How did everyone cope with the baby transfers to cribs? I wait 20 mins or until she's all floppy- then she's less likely to startle awake.

splendide · 09/12/2014 08:46

It's weird. I do the same and first transfer of the night normally goes fine but then after the first waking it's so hard. Last night I fed to sleep, waited, put down and it was immediate crying more or less. After the fourth attempt I couldn't stand to do it again so ended up shhhing, patting and holding a dummy in place for forever till he went off. Not as in holding it so he couldn't spit it out just so if he did I could take it away. I wonder if he was cold, I'm going to bring a heater to bed tonight I think.

Littlefeet26 · 09/12/2014 09:06

Splendide a heater is a good idea I might try that. I'm always worried about DS being cold feel like I've got not idea how much/little to dress him in or what to do about blankets! He likes to kick blankets straight off but a sleeping bag makes it hard to fit him in his sleepyhead. What does everyone else do?

splendide · 09/12/2014 09:41

Mines a bit small for a sleeping bag still (he's only 7.2 lbs). He has a vest, long sleeved babygro then a groswaddle but with his arms out. I feed him in that then pop him in and then quite a thick blanket over the top.

I'm feeling bad about not picking him up last night. I didn't let him cry and cry or anything, I was right by him and he was just grumbling round a dummy. If I pick him up the crying escalates till he's put on a boob and he definitely wasn't hungry. Am I an awful witch? :(

ExcitedCJ · 09/12/2014 10:23

Splendide you are awful hard on yourself! Not an awful witch at all. Jeepers, a trip to my house this morning would have put your mind at rest. Screaming baby & crazy 3 year old running riot. I had to leave baby to scream as I tended to 3 year old. He has been red faced screaming for hours now & I've had to leave him to it on 5 occasions. :(

FATEdestiny · 09/12/2014 11:02

jemima1988 and Splendide I should point out that DD is actually an end of September baby, so is 10 and a bit weeks old. She developed the routine herself (aside from the fact that the school runs are immovable) from about 7 weeks olds, before that she screamed a lot (because she refused the dummy!)

Splendide - you did absolutely the right thing not picking baby up if he was just grumbling, don't beat yourself up. Your DS is still tiny, really don't be stressing about routine or anything yet. Just work on sleeping and feeding however works to keep your sanity

Whippet81 · 09/12/2014 12:24

I've been to the drs and she has given BabyWhippet some gaviscon and said to maybe change formula and to go back in 10 days if still no change so thanks for help folks. Obviously today there is no screaming and he sat blinking at her whilst I regaled her with tales of screaming and writhing.

mrsb87 · 09/12/2014 12:28

Dylan did the same when I went to the doctors! You worry they think you're a neurotic ftm ! It took the hv to see him at home for anyone to really believe me.

Pregnantagain7 · 09/12/2014 12:32

Hi all loving the family talk it fascinates me how different we all are.

fate I've got to say your house sounds like a slightly better organised version of ours loving the quiet hour idea may have to pinch that Grin

As well as my four "biological" children I also have two older step children who are a massive part of our lives they lived with me when their mum died. They are now 21 and 18 and have become amazing young adults despite a very difficult upbringing And I'm immensely proud of them.
The eldest has just bought here first house with her boyfriend and is having my two girls for a sleep over on Saturday night they are all so excited.
The babies are going to mums for a sleep over too, me and dp are going to go out for dinner, drink too much and dance til the early hours I can't wait Grin