October 2014 // thread 4 // a lot of night feed chatting!

[sazzlehopes]

Welcome everyone. You're doing a good job by the way. Remember that.

mrsb if BF it means too much fore milk, remedy is to block feed from one boob to ensure baby is getting to hind milk or switch feed if you have a sleepy one. Should be info about it on Kellymom, also Baby Centre has a great visual poop guide.

wonder sounds like tongue or lip tie?

mrsb green poo = too much foremilk, infection or intolerance.

Today I celebrated getting a £70 aldi shop home on the buggy whilst wearing Lil! And that she's arrived at the joyful 'content to sit in her bouncy chair watching the washer whilst I do shit' age. Hurrah!

Today's low point was bashing her head with a kitchen cupboard door while in the sling and making her cry by putting a hat on and scratching her ear. Crap Mum

As for how many kids to have - its so personal. Perfect pinterest craft / baking Mums in my group have stopped at one, natural Mums or chaos lovers who adore a rabble have 4+, normal shouty but well meaning mums seem to have 2 or 3. I always wanted 2.

I crave peace and order too - yet I have four children!

It takes some work, but it can be done to bring children up to give you peace, order and space (I value my personal space). For example mine have always had an established lunchtime nap right through until 4 years old. As much to give me an hour of silence as it was to benefit them.

They are all home from school right now, the house is almost silent (quiet hour is my rule from 4 to 5pm every school day - to allow them to relax after school). DD10 and DS9 have done their reading and homework so are now allowed the TV on in their bedroom as long as I can't hear it. DS5 has done his reading with me and currently has headphones on watching stampylongnose on youtube. DD0 is asleep. All are in their onesies.

The peace is about to end and they will be descending on downstairs any minute now. But liking calm and order is no reason not to have more children. You just have to train 'em right!

Reading all your super helpful posts to splendide almost made me cry. You really are an excellent and helpful bunch. Thank goodness I have you all here for a chat and help.
Fedup N sleeps only for 3 hours and sometimes less. At night I struggle to transfer him into the crib after feeding him. He's 9 weeks and still seems to feed a lot. Typical for us sounds similar to you. Asleep from 6-7 then awake and feeding til half 8/9 awake at 12, and 3/4 and then 5/6
We might get a 4 hour stretch but it's rare.

Im worried my milk is low. I know that is utter madness after tackling my oversupply but they suddenly feel more empty and N is feeding loads. I though he was over a growth spurt at 8 weeks, or can it continue this long?

Fate I love the idea of quiet hour! Genius!

Please don't say intolerance I've been block feeding for a few weeks now. Dylan is in scream fest again!

Sazzle, I have a baby that feeds loads. I think partly she likes eating, partly she likes cuddling, and partly she likes napping so eats a lot when awake to stock herself up. In the past few days I've sort of stopped worrying about it. It's just the way she rolls- lots of eating and sleep in three hour chunks, occasionally four. There's nothing I can do about it- or nothing I can do that I want to do- do here we are. It's not like she'll still be doing it when she's ten. Probably.

Betty I think that might have been me. Hubby has outright said only one baby, he Said that the pregnancy was really hard on him as I was emotionally different, and that he can't cope with the idea of sleepless nights again. I never thought of having an only child mainly because me and my sister have such a good relationship
I think ultimately you both have to be on the same page, and it's not an easy decision. I think once the sleep patterns have eased a bit I'll broach the issue again. We were very lucky and got pregnant within weeks of deciding to have a baby so maybe there wasn't much adjustment time for him! Mini Adams had jabs today and was so good, did shed a tiny tear tho!

Fate you strike me as a natural Mum!

Yep Fate I'm impressed too! I on the other hand see me being a bit like the mum in Outnumbered, all over the shop! My husband is a drummer and if he gets H into playing music too I don't see me getting much peace lol. In theory I'd like to have another kid, but I think I'd like to wait til H is 3 or 4 at least. Seems veeeery far away though!

lol, I wouldn't say so!

These things just evolve to save my sanity. I'm also something of a battleaxe, I-know-best, strict Mum

I told my husband today I want another baby. I am almost 41 but regardless of my age, the pregnancy, the birth, the body damage or sleepless nights I just love being a mum so far.

Husband said he felt it was the right thing to do, to give our son a sibling but secretly I know he's delighted.

Fate - what a top tip to have a quiet hour! That's brilliant. How did you enforce? Any other pearls of mothering wisdom you have to share?

I was talking about having a third that hadn't previously been considered. DH is definitely no more. I'm also not sure I could cope with being pregnant again - found it very stressful after two miscarriages and was a utter loon.
Anyway - for now we have come to an agreement that I don't have to get rid of the baby stuff as he grows out of it. Phew.

yellow i like the mum types relating to numbers theory.

fate am also in awe at scheduling skills! If i could guarantee order like the von trapp family, and closeness like the kardashian family... I'd prob go for it

Our house is chaos with two! So introducing quiet hour though - great idea!!!

Quick ask for advice BabyWhippet is really colicky still - he's writing in pain after eating (of which he does a lot) infacol and gripe water doing nothing. I am losing will to live as if he isn't eating or sleeping he's screaming. I can't go out anywhere really as it's too stressful - he's hot today and I think he has a bit of a cold so is even more stressy - will the drs think I'm mad if I take him tomorrow? Is it just a normal thing or should they do something to help him?

I saw HV last week but she just seems to think it's the amount he's eating but I've heard there are things they can give him?

Sorry inexperienced mum and baby person.

I don't think I'll have another, I don't think my mental health would survive it.

Sorry whippet I'm completely clueless, but I would say you should speak to GP.

Can I ask another new mum question? All the books and things say to note when your baby is tired and put them down. How? Seriously I know I must sound like a total idiot but if I put him in his bed at anything less than completely asleep he screams immediately. No amount of rocking or shushing or anything has any effect. I have to get him out again and feed to sleep. What do you guys do?

whippet does he suffer more from burpy wind or bottom wind? Writhing in pain doesn't sound gd. Mine is a great eater too and HV recently suggested a dummy, to allow him time to digest one feed...so I have, even tho not a fan of dummies really. Infacol/ gripe water didn't seem to work for my son so I've been trying fennel tea (drinking myself and giving him tiny amounts of a special baby one) and he seems much happier on the gas front...farts more easily.

Can you see a diff HV? Doesn't seem fair to leave him in pain..

Splendide, it's a gd question and I don't have the answer. At night he is happy to go down and look at his mobile before nodding off but not during the day. I'm vaguely trying to take him Out at the same times each day -10-12 in the morning for example in the hope that sleep time will become ingrained and he'll do it at home (plus I love going out).

One suggestion I heard is to feed to sleep initially but once they are placed in the cot give it a tiny shake so they stir and have to nod off again, graduating to a bigger shake so they properly wake up etc etc and then back to sleep...

Wind comes from both ends! He's going bright red and screaming and it's really hard to get him to burp. It's so upsetting he loves his milk but then as soon as he has any he's arching his back and screaming and almost holding his breath.

It's only when I have been to the clinic and seen all these gently sleeping babies I have really realised how bad he is. Unless we are moving he's yelling the place down.

:( I suffer from anxiety and have done really well until now but I'm starting to panic when he's screaming.

He has for dummies but he's not overly interested - he will have one sometimes but when he's upset he just spits it out.

splendide I think those books are written by people whose babies are made out of love and clouds instead of shouting and wriggling which is what my baby is made of. Having said that, in the last few days I've been putting her in a bouncy chair and shushing and rocking and eventually she dozes off, but that's because for the first time she's tolerating being put down and is noticeably sleepy when not feeding (before she would only feed to sleep). It seems to me like this early it's basically developmental and if the baby won't be put down there's not much you can do except wait until they will. That's what I've been telling myself, anyway.

Splendide wot Tatty says - in my experience I've never managed to rush a baby into self soothing, they do it when they're ready. I don't want to force it as I don't know a way to do it without upset? I've always fed to sleep - I figure humans have been nursing babies to sleep for thousands of years and if its not broke - why change it? Both have been good sleepers able to get back to sleep fine, despite never going into their crib awake when wee. Fatpony wake a sleeping baby?! Crumbs not in this house - that's when I run skipping out of the room for my downstairs!

Whippet the screaming and back arching sounds like silent reflux or CMPI. Have a google . It sounds as though your wee one needs a trip to the docs. Babies do have different temperaments but constant screaming sounds like pain. If treated correctly you can have a happy calm baby in days so don't think its something you have to both suffer until its outgrown xxxx

I posted earlier about kind of sort of wanting a second baby. It would be purely to give Ds a sibling. I get on very well with my brother - can't imagine holidays, xmas, parents divorce etc without him. But my body still aches from labour and I spent a lot of pregnancy and last ten weeks wondering how people with more than one cope.

Think I'll tuck away outgrown stuff in the garage but try to sell stopping at one to myself.