October 2014 // thread 4 // a lot of night feed chatting!

[sazzlehopes]

Welcome everyone. You're doing a good job by the way. Remember that.

Tatty do you wear her? Every time Lil grumbles I do the following: sniff bum (change if whiffy), offer a boob, if she's not interested in the boob I pop her in the sling. That calms her within seconds.

And OMG I love the Connecta! DH can now have the ergo and leave the straps set up perfectly for him.

I went to a drop in children's centre this morning with my nct lot. It was ace - Pip was totally calm and occupied by very little, just being there watching people/other babies etc completely captivated her. A no effort morning. They also have jacket potatoes with beans and cheese for 3 quid, which they let you eat by holding your baby for you. Amazing!

Has anyone got anything similar? A lifesaver if you're on your own with a screaming baby.

yellow I do wear her, and that calms her down, although to be honest we never really get beyond "boob" on your list, because that's a total cure all. I think it just feels unrelenting at the moment because there's almost no time when she's not grumbling or in one way attached to me, which makes me feel like she's unhappy with me, somehow. I think I feel like there's something else I should be doing, but actually it'll probably get easier with time, right? I mean, without me necessarily having to do anything secret magic beyond keeping her warm and dry and fed.

goats that sounds great. I've not made it to any groups yet, they all start at ten and I choose sleep over company at the minute. I might look further afield for an afternoon session.

Tatty I could have written your post! My DS is the same, basically never happy unless on my boob and he'll go to sleep no other way. No idea what if anything I should be doing differently.

Tatty fed, dry and close to you pretty much sums up all their needs at the mo! You could get all flash card-tastic if you wanted but that just reminds me of the Ab Fab episode. The world is stimulus enough. As Goats said if you're lucky enough to have a sure start centre which survived the austerity cuts - just going out to one is a lovely change and often cures whinging. Lil loves going to toddlers

I go out every day - even if they are screaming it dilutes the noise! I'm lucky that I live in a town that has loads of stuff for new mums. I've met loads of people since having Pip. Whoever asked about using health visitors, they are good for linking you up with social stuff if that's what you're after. I've got mine to find me some options for dads too, and she's come back with a brewing club, which sounds right up boyfriend's street.

RANT ALERT!
I love my MIL but she can't hold a baby for shit! (Sorry about swearing, I'm wound up!)
I have just had a panic attack & nearly drove over a hedge.
I came down stairs from the loo at MIL's to find her holding my 10 week old by the waist!! His poor wee head was bobbing about all over the place. She never supports his neck. I am so worried that she will have given him shaken baby syndrome! My DH phoned me on the way home & I started to hyperventilate.
I have asked her to support his neck! it's as if she does it on purpose. My 3 year old DD even told her 2 days ago. I can't have her hold him again until he can hold himself up.
Please someone reassure me that she won't have given him a brain injury. I'm so stressed.

Excited I'm sure he's fine. totally bizarre that she would hold him unsupported though! I mean she's clearly held a baby before! All I can think is if that how she held your dp and he made it out alive she probably hasn't done any lasting damage to your boy. She needs to hold him properly in future though!

My area is pretty poor for anything baby related, baby massage thats about it! Im like you mrsb and dont do mornings, i like to get a bit of housework or shopping done before dd comes home from nursery, oh the glamour

Omg cj what did she say when you asked her to hold him correctly?

CJ

I think you might be overreacting a little bit.

I often hold my DD without supporting her head now. I watch out for her head movements, but allow her to support her own head as much as possible. She will be 10 weeks on Friday.

Does your DC not have any neck strength at all yet?

Think we are heading for another growth spurt... My nips feel like they might fall off he's 11 weeks so guess due for one!

cj prett sure she will be fine. Shaken baby surely requires some actual vigorous shaking?

We have a children's centre but def don't do the potato thjng!!! Free stay and play and play and learn though. At the mo I seem to forever be doing jobs or running around after older one who now has hand foot and mouth disease

I hold Pip by her waist or hips even sometimes, not if she was having a wobbly day, but often enough. She's 7 and a bit weeks, and no sign of brain injury.

We had first hospital follow up check for N after his cooling treatment and week in special care because of potential brain injury during birth... So pleased to say all was ok, they are happy with him so far and feel he's developing normally and will see him in 4 months time and at various points over the next two years. Feels very thorough and so happy with the care given from the NHS.

Thanks guys. I know I'm being crazy.. But that is my thing, i freak about neck support. FATE great approach! :) Made me calm down.
He is very strong & can hold himself up well. It's just not the best way to care for him.

Goats jealous of your baked potato action sounds great!

Cj baby will be fine. At this hospital appointment the Dr was quite 'rough' with N. She pulled him to sitting using his arms from a lying position to check his head
And neck strength. And held him in the air holding her hand under his tummy, no neck support again. She also pushed down on his bum while he lay on his front to help him push up more during tummy time. I'm sure your MIL shouldn't hold your baby for too long like that but I reckon no harm was done.

Yellow talk me through the pros of the connector verses the ergo. I love an excuse to buy a carrier!!

Sazzle great news about N. You've been through so much its wonderful to hear he's thriving, and touch wood, showing no long term impact. They are tough little critturs aren't they! On which note CJ I'm sure he's fine but grrr to blimmin MILs! I get very nervous about neck wobbles too.

Sazzle the ergo is super comfy and I can wear for 8+ hours a day - the Connecta is even comfier! And preeeeeettttttty. And it folds down tiny enough to fit in a small handbag. And did I mention its v pretty? Oh and as you don't need the infant insert its less hot to wear and not bulky at all - so very easy to see over when walking and to fasten coats around. It is a teeny bit harder (like 5 seconds more effort) to get on as you have to cross the straps but that's being really nitpicky.

Excellent review thanks yellow! And thanks for your lovely words...yes so happy he is all ok, I knew it anyway, I think mothers instinct. But it's still nice to be looked after at the hospital and hear what they have to say. They are indeed tough critters and hopefully he'll go on to hit all the milestones he's supposed to.

The ergo would last longer though - I can easily still carry my 2 yr old and my 3 yr old niece. I love the fact I can take the Connecta anywhere!

I'm thinking of selling our double buggy. Its a BJ City select and I got £1200 of buggy on eBay for £250. Its just too big and too difficult to get on and off the train. I'm tempted by the Nipper 360 narrow double as I adore our Nipper single. I'm also tempted to wear Lil as long as possible and then just get a buggy board for the single buggy. But my DS is 2, a bolter and we walk 5+ miles a day so I think we do need a double.... Any thoughts multiple Mommas?

Jemima my DS was pooing every 3 or 4 days until he went on antibiotics. He is EBF, it is quite normal.
Goats I am jealous of your baked potato & minimal effort morning. No better lunch than a good baked spud!
Thanks for the calming words you lot re my MIL.
Sazzle I am happy to hear all is good with your DS

I have bought this carrier for "velcro" days. I have never worn a carrier but just want a quick fix for around the house and maybe walking the dog, do you think it looks ok for that purpose? I dont have a clue so probably not

Oops - premature post...
Sazzle & thank you so much for helping me back from the edge, tiredness getting to me!
Yellow thanks for the empathy. X

I'm also very lucky that in north london there are still loads of services left, I have about four childrens centres to choose from and there are things on everyday. For those in London then by the way the Olly Olly website is fab - you put in your postcode and it tells you what is on day by day.

Good luck to everyone this evening. M had a proper crying bout earlier, quite frightening, bright red face and bloated hard tum. He only really whines for food/boob normally so was a shock.

STIGZ might be a tough try for a first carrier & a newish baby. What brand is it? Can it be tightened?