December 2011 "Mummymummymummymummy.... it's MINE!"

[NorthernChinchilla]

Combining our catchphrases...sigh...

Ds has started calling me Mother MOTHER

Cm has said he has a staggering imagination the most advanced she's ever seen for a kid his age he has episodes of very lengthy intricate role play. He is a clever little blighter gonna be like his daddy!!

Oh happy Birthday for yesterday Northern! Sorry I missed it. Hope you enjoyed your champers and a bimble.
Oh, I am the mother from hell today. Not with Boi you understand. He's being generally delightful at the minute which is a refreshing change. We did his first hour settle session at his new nursery. He seemed to like it. Then I took him to his childminders. He cried in the car because he did not want to go. I distracted him. He was fine. But when we arrived, he said, as I parked outside, very calmly but over and over again, "I hate it here....I hate it here..," - I have no idea where he's got that from. I was pretty shocked. I dismissed it, told him he lived his friends and we went in, but he was really subdued. Odd.
I dropped him off at 11:10. All the kids were sat watching Peppa Pig. I am so glad he's leaving!
Anyway, back to why I am a terrible person,... I picked him up at 4:20 to take him to buy some new trainers and thought we could go and share a big ice cream sundae to celebrate his last day at the cm's. (Still not terrible, get to the point, Oi!)
Cm and husband came out with a present for Boi, a plant for me, and a card.
I had not given it a thought! I had nothing to give them! Not a thank you card. Nothing! How awful is that??
Is it too late?
Should I send flowers tomorrow?
Argh!!! I can't believe I hadn't even thought about it!

I blame you.

Why didn't you tell me?!

Us?? It's not compulsory to give CMs a pressie unless you feel like it! Which apparently you didn't. So don't fret.

I gave our first (lovely) CM a big box of chocs when we left her (she had a new job). She was sooo nice though. Second CM was a grumpy so-and-so who felt she was above childminding and was very upfront about how much she disliked my working hours (which she knew about from the day she started taking our cash. She charged double-time after six and grumped at every pickup (which was at the agreed time). No chocs for her when we moved on!
Third CM was again great, we stayed with her til the house move. She got wine!

Must be a new thing Oi, didn't happen when I had CMs, tho to be fair all my main CM and her family deserved was being terminated with extreme prejudice....
Up the ladder decorating again, can't believe how long it's taking!

(Was only trying to deflect my shame. I don't really blame you!)
I felt awful. I sent flowers.
And now I feel guilty for being so weak!
Ha!
I hate the whole idea of buying presents for teachers. I guess we have this to look forward to. Maybe I'll do what teachers do for mummy presents and get the Boi to make something.

Oi i'm never sure on the etiquette either it's my CM's birthday on Monday do we give her a card? what about her kids birthdays do we give them a card? Next weekend we've been invited to a birthday party for a little boy he came to Danny's birthday last year we cant go as we are in Scotland but I feel bad because he gave him a present did we send him a present even though we cant go or do you only give presents to kids you have parties that you go to?

I would have thought no present if you can't go to party figgy. Unless very close friend.

Wrt childminder, I'd only get a card if you're actually good friends. If not, I wouldn't.

Ah the world of children related etiquette dreading him starting school. just back from a 3yo party they had fireman Sam turn up ds high fived him a massive improvement over his usual flee in terror approach to people in costumes

Met a friend who was over from Dubai she's brought him the happy khaleeji family happyland set it's a mummy, daddy, 2 blessed sons () and a daughter. How culturally aware of them!!

figgy, it's ok, standard ettiquetr is if you go to the party you take a present, the birthday party attending child has then "paid their due" and there is no social obligation at all to either invite the child or provide a return present. If they do come, they will bring a present, if not, then no worries. Pretty much everyone realises when their kid hits three or four that different party sizes means no-one can have everyone over, and friendships change too: that bestest friend ever from last year might be at a different class/school or they might have fallen out or moved...

So it's completely fine. If mummy x wants to pay for 28 kids in a church hall with a magic show that's peachy. But no obligation for anyone to do the same. (And frankly 28 presents is obscene anyway!)

Could you get figgyboy to make the CM a card?

Happy birthday Northern

Figgy I'd get DS to make a card and maybe a box of chocolates/biscuits?

I'm awake super early this morning (4:29am) practice for the baby arriving I guess

On the organisation front for Christmas, I now need to buy DH's present (will go to the shops and browse once I'm on maternity leave as he's tricky to buy for), I also need to buy some sort of edible gifts (chocolates/wine/biscuits) for the in-laws and a couple of friends, I was thinking about getting the English Heritage Membership for DM so she can enjoy some days out for the year and last but not least something for the baby! I also need to buy some wrapping paper and Sellotape!

On the birthdays front, I need to get myself to Card Factory, lots of November/December/January birthdays. I've bought all of the birthday presents, just need the cards.

On the home organisation front, I've been through my bedroom cupboard, tidied and organised it. The same with our drawers and wardrobe and even vacuum bagged my summer clothes and spare bedding.

I've also been through DS's drawers and got two large bags of clothes to pack away, plus a bunch of shoes. What on earth am I supposed to do with his shoes?! I can't keep them can I that would be silly...but they're so small and cute?!)

The kitchen/bathroom/living room are all de cluttered and organised already. I just seem to let our bedroom get disorganised as I guess that's the last room anyone apart from us goes into! I saw a funny picture on Facebook about getting more cleaning done in the 30 minutes before a guests arrival than in a whole week...so true!

Today DH and I will finally go through our outside cupboard and get DS's baby clothes, Moses basket, pram and bouncy chair

DH has decided after much research which washer/dryer we are going to buy after the one we originally decided on went out of stock. I think we will really need one with 4 people in the household soon and it'll cut down on the condensation over the winter too as we won't have wet washing hanging around. We do have a dehumidifier which is great, but I still find it hard to get everything washed and dried when the weather is bad.

I've booked DS's birthday party for early January, will send out invites around 6 weeks before I think as it's a busy time of year. I've made a list of party food and party bag fillers and of course a guest list.

I think the only other thing I need to do is batch cook some meals for the freezer! I'm planning to do this once I finish work and whilst DS is at nursery.

Apologies for the long post - but I feel organised now I've written it down

We just ordered new washing machine and dryer too Chip. I can't WAIT to have a dryer.

I'm getting on with organising clothes/cupboards too. No present buying yet but have decided what we are getting at least!

PS paper chase do beautiful cards in packs ... they cost about £4 for 8 but look really expensive. Mostly have nothing written on them either so can be used for anything.

My back is soooooo sore. And I've been having so many braxton hicks for past ten days. If I walk anywhere I get them or when I tidy or anything and they're in my back, alas. This baby is also back to back. I hope he turns around in the next few weeks. I'm hoping I go a bit early (was a week early with Minimopsy) but who knows.

I'll check out Paperchase, one has just opened nearby I think people seem to be sending less cards each year, so I'm happy to spend a bit extra on some nice cards for close friends.

My back is okay at the moment, but it does ache if I'm stood up doing the washing up for too long, and hoovering makes it ache too.i has planned to be going swimming each week to help with back aches but one thing after another and I haven't been at all! Hope that your back is better soon Mopsy, pilates balls are pretty good for easing back aches if you haven't got one already.

Sympathy on the Braxton hicks as well!

chip pick one favouritist pair of little shoes to keep and take the rest to shoe recycling bank at your local tip. Most of them are sent to Africa for resale and make a bit for charity along the way. Nesting by any chance?

New chest of drawers coming tomo... yay! Can get all the baby's clothes properly sorted and tidied away!

And you mopsy! We need a nesting icon....

Definitely need a nesting icon Aethel

I've knackered myself out, just having a sit down then going to have a shower! DH has taken DS to soft play to burn off some energy!

Until DH gets back to put stuff back away in the cupboard it looks like a disaster zone indoors...opps!

I will do that with the shoes, hopefully they will reach a good home! I'll keep the Wellington boots for DC2 as they're in good condition. I do enjoy buying new shoes so will want to buy new ones for the baby...even if Clarks do cost a fortune!

Well done on the organisational front! Phew-ee!
And sympathies for aches, pains and braxton hicks.
It was Kri5ty's charity ball yesterday. Those in Fb would have seen us (me, Bennybenbear and Kri5ty in our finery. It was nice to get spangled up. I don't think the photos were kind enough. We all actually weigh about 20 kilos less than the photos show. Honest.
And then I had to get up early to get a flight to Denmark. I'm here til Thursday.
On Saturday, I dropped Boi with the gp's. Boi got his trains out and then said, "you can go to Denmark now mummy". (Please leave! )
Oh well. Better that than sobbing, I guess.
DH came to the ball. We had a nice time. He stayed over.

Oi you strumpet having a sleepover with your own husband hope that doesn't mess with things too much but glad he didn't annoy you

Ds had a meltdown at a little park today decided to be belligerent at the bottom of a slide and not move so no one else could use it I asked him to move, warned him I'd move him until I had to pick him up screaming and crying and thrashing ......he then did it at the top of the slide so we went home he then screamed for 15 minutes he hadnt said bye to my friend and her lo though when if taken him back to do just that he refused.......2yo logic is not our logic.

I don't think you can put "2yr old" and "logic" in the same sentence.
As for DH, I am softening. I think we may have more to bind us than to keep us apart. In the time we have spent apart I've learnt more about what was wrong with the relationship, and I have ideas of where we can make significant improvements. Importantly, a lot of my frustration was actually with myself. How I'd changed myself through being with him. Ultimately, that's not his fault. It's mine. What was lacking was that clarity of communication.
We have also proven what good friends we actually are. We've got on so well - despite this horrid situation.
He's had to move out and uproot his life, and he's done that without retaliating against me, or showing any bitterness. And this despite us working in the same place. - that takes a special kind of guy without a silly ego. I also remember how I felt 4 years ago when we got married.
No one is without fault.
There are things that will be compromised, but that's marriage and is true for all. The key here is getting the communication right, and ensuring that the compromise is still largely joyous!
We have some serious work to do, but ultimately I think it's worth a try.
I haven't spoken to him yet about this, not in any detail. But I have told him that I want to work at fixing things. We're going to talk about it next week when I'm back from Denmark.
It's good. It's right.
This period apart has given me a lot of clarity / information / realisation that I never would have had without it. So, even if we do fix things and we can make a go of it, I will still maintain that it was right and essential.
I am also aware of the possibility of rose-tinted glasses. So I'll have to keep a level head in all of this. DH is a cynic, he doesn't like leaving himself open to hurt, so I think he will also be rigorous in any approach to fix things. He won't come back easily, not without exploring all aspects.
On the whole, I'm feeling positive.
(Another thing I have learnt is that you need your own time. I always would not allow this - because I spend time away from home with work. So going to the gym etc in "Ali time" was absolutely out of the question. Now I don't have Ali time all the time, I have less Ali time because he spends some time with his dad. Perhaps if I'd allowed myself a weekly gym visit, I'd still get to see him every day, even if it was only peeping in when he was asleep. A lesson to us all, I hope. We need to relax the expectations we put on ourselves to allow us the freedom/ balance to be the best people we can be.)

I absolutely agree ref the 'me' time Oi, even if it's just a session at the gym, reading the paper (or a half hour on MN ) All sounds very interesting with your DH, and good that you're going in with eyes open. How did he react to your suggestion of wanting to work on things?
Good luck!

DS can be similar figgy, including wobblers on play equipment.... Toddlers are such demented little things. We had the double joy of DS not napping yesterday pm, but going to bed at a normal time and getting me up at 5.15 His behaviour has been somewhat challenging as a result today.
We didn't try to swap him for gorgeous Asian identical twin girls at the supermarket, oh nooooooo.

Sounds very positive Oi!

"How did he react.." It was late, we were in the same bed,... I got a feeling of "relief", that I was not expecting.
I think it's what he wants. Which surprised me - I thought that perhaps I'd burnt the bridges.
It's a tough one. He's a cynic, won't want to be hurt again... But I fear he may have been hiding his feelings/feeling lost/...? I really need to ensure, when we start discussing, that he brings forward his demands.
It's no good me saying I want these things to happen (x + x + x) unless he also has his issues to raise/his needs to be addressed. It has to be 50/50, otherwise it won't work. I'm not perfect, he needs to stand up to me to get that respect. If we both put 100 in, we'll get the max benefit. But if he had no demands from me, then it won't work, unless I make my own demands of me, - but then the effort won't be the same. We need to strike a balance.